They danced in silence for a while then Kurt broke the silence. “When was the last time you had sex?”
She shrugged. “I dunno. Couple weeks I guess.”
Kurt’s eyes widened in surprise. “I did not think you could go that long.”
Anna frowned. “Thanks,” she said bitterly. Kurt was just really trying to endear himself to her, wasn’t he?
“No, I meant....” He sighed. “I think it is good....” He trailed off as the music ended.
“Can I go?”
Kurt nodded and she left him standing in the middle of the dance floor. She needed some fresh air and headed outside.
“Katrina!”
Anna turned to see Stefanie walking quickly to her. “Are you okay? Is he another bad guy from your past?”
Ever since Stefanie had learned about Jack, she’d become Anna’s protector. If Anna was unhappy, Stef was the first one by her side to make sure she was okay. Anna was grateful to have a friend. A female friend.
“No, he’s actually a good guy from my past. He’s just acting like an ass tonight.”
“I’m glad. Because he’s yummy and I’d hate to have to take him out behind the theater and kick his ass.”
Anna smiled.
“Is he why you and Hugo broke up?”
Anna shook her head. “Well, indirectly yes.” She sighed. Her heart ached for Hugo. “I was married to Kurt’s brother a long time ago. He died and now I’m expected to marry Kurt.”
Stef grinned. “That doesn’t seem like such a bad thing...to be stuck with someone like him. But...I mean, why are you expected to marry your husband’s brother? That seems so...old fashioned.”
“They’re a very old German family and that’s the way things work. Even Hugo, once he found out, knew eventually I’d have to go to Kurt. That’s why we broke up. Because we care about each other too much to have to end things later under duress.” Anna sat down next to the fountain and rested her chin on her hands. “But Kurt’s being a jerk tonight and I don’t understand why. He’s usually so sweet and laid back.”
“He’s hot!”
“You should have seen his brother,” Anna said fondly. “He was the most handsome man I’d ever seen.”
“Damn, girl. Any other brothers?”
Anna shook her head. “No, but several cousins, though I can’t remember who’s married and who’s not. It’s been years since I’ve seen them. They all look alike. It’s bewildering.”
“You better invite me to the wedding,” Stef laughed.
“Of course, though German weddings are very different than American ones.” Anna told her about getting married at the JP’s office and the lack of a big church wedding.
“That is fucked up,” she said. “How can an American girl not have a big white wedding?”
“Did I mention he’s a Duke?” Anna grinned.
Stef hit her in the arm. “Shut up!” she laughed. “Damn girl. Stop complaining and get back in there and jump his bones.”
Anna sighed and leaned back, looking up at the starless night sky. “I don't know what’s gotten into him.” She had a feeling she needed to get back inside and she reluctantly stood with Stefanie and headed back across the cement courtyard to the theater.
Kurt was near the door, talking with Aaron and a few other dancers. The girls were flirting with him shamelessly and he laughed with them, almost flirting back, but not quite.
Anna sighed. This is what it would be like, being married to an Elder-Son. They were free to do as they pleased while their wives stood by and made sure everything stayed perfect at home for them. Anna just happened to have other duties to perform in addition to the wifely ones.
Stef smiled sympathetically. “I’m sorry he’s being a jerk. Maybe you should make him jealous.” She grinned. “You look fantastic tonight. You could have any guy here.”
Anna knew that was true. Even if the man wasn’t interested at first, she could seduce him. But did she want to? Was she angry enough to play that game with Kurt? What would he do if he were jealous? She’d didn’t recall seeing him angry before. Had his temper grown to be like his father’s?
Kurt turned towards her and she quickly turned away so he wouldn’t see her watching him. Over Stefanie's shoulder she saw Hugo dancing with a woman wearing a slim red dress and laughing with him. Her heart twisted in her chest and she turned further away.
“There you are, Katrina.” Tommy appeared in front of her. “Dance with me?”
She looked at him with a blank expression for a moment before nodding with a small smile. Stefanie winked at her. If nothing else, it might make Kurt jealous. It was petty, she knew, but she didn’t care.
“Where’s Kim?” Anna asked as Tommy held her close on the dance floor.
“With my mom, I think, getting some fresh air.”
“Oh.”
“Anna, I’m sorry for what I did to you...a few weeks ago. I hated leaving you the way I did, but I couldn’t ignore the call.”
Anna shrugged. “I know. It’s just part of being a Mistress, I guess.” She glanced at Kurt across the room. “I guess I’ll understand that more, eventually.”
Tommy turned his head and followed her gaze. “I thought you liked him.”
Anna stared at the buttons on Tommy’s tuxedo shirt. “I did. But he’s...different now.” She glanced up. “He’s actually being an ass tonight.”
Tommy frowned. “I can’t imagine him doing that. He was enthralled with you when you were dancing.” He shrugged. “I guess we all were. You’re rather captivating when you dance.”
She half smiled at the compliment and then looked up at him. “If you want to stop by sometime again, you can.”
He arched his brow. “Are you sure?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “The freedom I thought I had isn’t real, so I might as well get used to having my duties again. At least I don’t have to worry about abusers coming to see me.”
Tommy gave her a sad look. “I’m sorry, Anna. I thought...I thought you were supposed to be free to do as you pleased, but Dad’s been talking with Wilhelm a lot lately. Something’s changed.”
“I wish I knew what it was. Then I might understand my freedoms being taken away.” She sighed. “I don’t like fighting with Kurt. I don’t like thinking of him as a jerk.” She watched Kurt continue to laugh and joke around with the women around him. What had caused this change in him?
When the song was over, they saw that Kim had returned to the table and Tommy went to be with her. Anna wandered around the outskirts of the party, wondering when she could go home. Being tied to Kurt made her feel lonely. Her new “free” life was now over and it was simply a waiting game until they would marry and she would move to Germany.
“Where have you been?” Kurt asked as she finally approached him a long while later. The circle widened for her and he put his arm on her waist, taking possession of her again.
She’d made a long, slow circuit around the promenade. “Wandering.”
The conversations continued around her and she stared off into space. There were worse things than being possessed by Kurt. Devin, for example. Kurt didn’t hurt her like Devin did. She should simply be grateful for that. But she wished she’d been told instead of just being expected to know what was going on. She’d had a month to be herself and now it was over. She would just have to accept that and hope to figure out whatever was going on with Kurt.
When the party finally began to break up, well after midnight, she went to the table to get her purse.
“Where is your apartment?” Kurt asked, as he stood behind her, rubbing her upper arms in an affectionate manner.
“It’s just a couple of blocks away.” She turned. “Where are you staying?”
“The Plaza.”
“Oh.” Did he expect her to go with him? It would surprise her if he didn’t.
“Do you need anything from backstage?”
Anna shook her head. She could get it tomorrow. She just wanted to go home and sleep.
Anna frowned in confusion. “You’re asking me out for tomorrow night?”
He shrugged. “I did not know if you had plans or not.” His expression made her suspect it didn’t matter if she had plans or not.
“Are you asking me out or telling me we’re going out?”
“Which would you prefer?”
“Does it matter?”
“I am trying to be nice, Katrina.”
Anna huffed. “What time do you want me ready?”
“When are you done with rehearsals?”
“Six at the latest.”
“I’ll pick you up at seven-thirty then.”
“Fine.”
A limousine pulled up and Kurt led her to it and they got in. “What is your address?”
“You’re not taking me back to your hotel?”
Kurt clenched his jaw. “Do you want to come?”
“No.”
He closed his eyes for a long moment. “Then what is your address?”
Anna told him and he repeated it to the driver.
A few minutes later they pulled up to the front of her building. He went with her up to her apartment, but they didn’t speak until they were outside her door.
“Here.” He handed her a small box. “So people know the status of our relationship.”
Inside was a beautiful diamond ring. Anna looked up at the strained look on Kurt's face. “So, we’re engaged?”
Kurt nodded.
“When are we going to get married?”
“We cannot marry until after you are freed from Devin. It will be a long engagement.” The manner in which he spoke about it seemed so businesslike. “I will keep my...private time private. No one will think me a playboy here.”
Anna gasped and tears sprang to her eyes. Her jaw trembled as she stared, bewildered, at Kurt. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were hard.
“I do not care what you do, just keep it private,” he added softly.
“Don’t you think people will think it strange if I don't stay with you?” she asked in a trembling voice.
“Do you want to come and watch?”
Anna felt the knife in her heart and she turned to unlock her door before he could see her cry. “I’ll be ready at seven-thirty.”
She slipped inside the dark apartment and leaned against the door, sliding down to the ground. Her body shook with grief. It would be a loveless marriage. He was marrying her out of duty and nothing more. As angry as she was, it stemmed more from hurt than actual dislike. This was not the Kurt she knew and fell in love with.
Maybe if she hadn’t been so cold she’d be in his bed instead of on a cold wooden floor. She curled onto her side and sobbed.
Chapter Thirteen
Somehow, she had made her way to her bed the night before, because she woke up in it. The horrible memories from the previous night flooded back into her memory and she sat on her bed staring at the floor. She hadn’t even changed into her pajamas and her dress was a wrinkled mess.
She went to take a shower and stood under the hot water for an eternity, hoping it would erase the pain. She turned it hotter and hotter until she was dizzy from the heat and knew she needed to get out.
She dressed in her practice clothes, put her hair up and put the ring on. It was a very impressive diamond, a few carats at least, and sparkled in the sunlight that streamed through her windows. The main round diamond was flanked by two smaller round diamonds and even more round diamonds were channel-set around the band. It was heavy. If he had given it to her out of love, she would have adored it. But it was given to her out of obligation and it seemed a gaudy, taunting reminder of her lost freedoms.
But she needed to pretend to be happy and in love. Easier said than done. She decided a quiet contentment would be as much as she could manage and went out to have breakfast. Aaron came out as she was finishing.
“Holy fuck!” he exclaimed staring at her hand. “Kurt?” he questioned.
Anna nodded and put her bowl in the dishwasher.
Aaron came and took her hand. “That is mighty impressive.”
“Yeah,” she mumbled and went to sit on the couch.
“What’s wrong?” he looked around. “And what are you doing here? I thought you’d be with Kurt.”
“I think he had other plans.”
“Other plans...?” Aaron shook his head. “He went and fucked someone else?”
Anna shrugged. “I think so. I mean, he implied it. He said I could watch if I wanted to.”
“What the hell is wrong with him?”
She shrugged again. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll play the part and he’ll leave...soon, hopefully.”
Aaron frowned but didn’t say anything else.
*****
Her ring did not go unnoticed at the studio and there were many admirers surrounding her, both for the ring and for Kurt. She smiled as best she could and answered the questions, but was thankful when class began. Hugo had smiled kindly at her but hadn’t said anything, and he stood on the other side of the studio.
Anna was miserable, but didn’t dare show it. She looked around during warm-up, seeing the girls who had been around Kurt last night and wondered which of them he’d slept with. He did have a thing for ballerinas. Then she realized she didn’t really want to know and set to work losing herself in her dancing.
Her rehearsal went a little long and she was late getting home, but managed to be ready when Kurt knocked on the door. She barely looked at him when she opened the door and went to get her purse.
Kurt took her to a nice restaurant in Times Square. She didn’t speak unless he asked her a question, but tried not to radiate dislike to him. She was just quiet.
A thought occurred to her as dinner was brought out. She waited for the server to leave and then looked at Kurt. “Are you not sleeping with me because of the whole Elder-Son’s-wife-has-to-be-a-virgin thing?”
He looked at her for a long moment and then nodded. “We’re not supposed to sleep together until we’re married.”
“You really expect me to wait over a year to have sex again?”
Kurt sighed and took a sip of his wine. “I don’t really care what you do. Just keep it private.”
Anna looked down at her hands, ashamed. For a moment she had thought maybe he’d been keeping her at a distance because he didn’t want to be tempted to be with her. But it was obvious he just didn’t want her. The knife in her heart twisted again and she didn’t speak for the remainder of the dinner.
“When are you leaving?” she asked as they rode back to her apartment after the long, uncomfortable dinner.
Kurt stared out the window. “Tonight. I was going to stay and watch you dance again, but...” He shrugged. “I don’t think it’s necessary.”
“Oh.”
The remaining few minutes in the car were even more uncomfortable than dinner.
“Can you please let me know when you’re coming back into town so I can be prepared?” she asked as she stood outside the limo. She had asked him not to walk her up to her door because she just wanted to get away from him.
Kurt nodded. He looked at her with a pained expression for a moment and then turned impassive. “I don’t know when it will be, but yes, I will call you.”
Anna nodded and then slowly walked away with her head down.
She heard footsteps and then Kurt’s arms were around her and he spun her around. He looked at her for a minute and then pressed his lips to hers in a hungry, passionate kiss.
She pushed against his chest, trying to escape but he was too strong. He held her against his chest and she could feel his heart pounding against her hands. One hand held her around her waist and the other tangled in her hair, trying to deepen the kiss, but she kept struggling, tears in her eyes now. She didn’t understand what was going on and she was scared and confused at his changed a
ttitude.
He loosened his hold slightly and held her head to look him in the eye. “I’m so sorry, Engel,” he whispered. He kissed her one last time and then released her.
With a trembling hand she touched her swollen lips and stared at him. “I don’t understand,” she whimpered.
He opened his mouth but closed it before he said anything. He gave her a sad look and then turned and walked back to the limo. He got in and the door was closed. She stared as the limo drove away moments later.
What had just happened? The way he’d looked at her...it was the old Kurt. The one she fell in love with. But why was he so cold and why was he leaving her again? Why did he apologize?
She turned and ran into the building.
*****
When Aaron came home later she was still crying in bed. He lay down next to her and pulled her close.
“What happened?” he asked softly, stroking her hair.
Anna told him the events of the night.
“That doesn’t even make any sense,” Aaron commented.
“I don’t know what’s going on. I’m so confused. It was the old him who kissed me, but then he just left.”
“I’m sorry, hon. I wish I could help, but I’m as confused as you are.”
There was a knock on the door and Anna looked at Aaron. “Expecting someone?”
He nodded. “Cameron.”
“Oh.”
“Let me go let him in,” he said sitting up. “Be right back.”
She heard muffled voices and a few minutes later Aaron returned. “You want to come watch a movie with us?”
Anna shook her head. “No. I’m okay. I didn’t sleep well last night. I think I’ll just go to bed.”
He leaned down and kissed her cheek. “Come get me if you need anything.”
*****
Anna didn’t hear from Kurt until a few weeks later when he called her to wish her a happy birthday. It was a short call.
Aaron threw her a party the night of her birthday and most of the dancers attended. Those that were performing that night came after they were done.
Anna had a good time, despite the strained phone call from Kurt.
The Life of Anna, Part 5: Emerged Page 12