The Life of Anna, Part 5: Emerged

by Marissa Honeycutt

  Stef was not happy about how Alex was treating Anna, but Anna knew Alex wasn’t wrong in his treatment of her. She had done wrong and was lucky he wasn’t abusing her like Devin would do.

  When she arrived home on Friday after rehearsals, Sebastian was there with Alex. She greeted them respectfully and hurried to her bedroom. She went back out into the living room after showering and saw Sebastian there, alone. He studied her quietly.

  “I-is there something I can do for you, Sebastian?” she asked quietly.

  “Alex needs you.”

  “I won’t run away from him.”

  “I didn’t think you would.” He motioned for Anna to sit on the couch and she did. “He’s miserable, you know.”

  Anna raised her brows. “Why?”

  “He misses you.”

  Anna grimaced. “Right.”

  Sebastian’s cool blue eyes bored into hers. “Would you rather be with Hugo than Alex?”

  Anna blinked, surprised at his direct question. “I-I don’t know.” She sighed. “If life is going to be like this....” She motioned around the room. “Yes. I would.” She twisted her hands together. “But I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

  “You have a choice in whether or not you want to be happy.”

  “Will he ever forgive me for what I did?”

  “It’s not so much what you did, but why you did it that upsets him. He thinks you’d rather be with Hugo than him.”

  Anna thought for a few minutes. “I want things to be good between Alex and I. I belong with him.”

  Sebastian looked at her for a long moment and then nodded. “He needs you.”

  “You said that already. I will do what I can to help him.”

  “I suppose I should really say he needs you and I together. He needs our essence if he’s going to defeat Devin.”

  Anna paled and stared at her hands. She never wanted to do that again. “Why doesn’t he ask Irina?” she asked, cringing at the thought of him being with Irina again.

  “You are his wife. It is your duty.”

  Anna stood and walked to the window and looked, unable to hold back the horrible memories of Devin and Kaveh that flooded her mind. Tears trickled out of her eyes as she thought about what Sebastian was asking of her.

  For her to be raped and sucked dry each night. To become a means to an end, a tool in Alex’s pocket. Would he hang her from the ceiling like Devin did? Would his eyes have golden flecks in them? Would he begin to treat her like Devin treated her? Would he torture her while she was half-conscious, unable to even scream?

  Would Sebastian chase her around the condo? Make her run until she couldn’t run anymore? Tear her apart while he raped her?

  She exhaled slowly. Sebastian was right. It was her duty. Maybe Alex would forgive her if she did this.

  “When do you want to do it?” she asked quietly, before she lost her nerve.

  Chapter Fifty-One

  Alex was leaning over the table, studying a map of Boston when Sebastian walked in. He stayed in the study most of the time because it was too painful to be around Anna. She was quiet and respectful, as if resigned to the fact that she was stuck with him. His anger had worn off, replaced with sadness and longing for their relationship to be restored.

  “She’s willing to help you,” the Immortal said.

  “I don’t want to force her,” Alex sighed.

  “I listened to her thoughts as she contemplated what I asked. She’s terrified of doing it, because of Devin, but hopes that maybe you’ll forgive her if she does.”

  “I have forgiven her,” Alex said in a broken voice. “I want things to be better between us.”

  “Have you told her that? She thinks you’re still angry.”

  “She doesn’t seem to be interested in talking with me.”

  “She’s afraid, Alex. Devin tortured her for the slightest infraction. I don’t even know if she realizes how afraid she is.”

  Alex straightened and stared at his friend. “She’s equating me with Devin?”

  “She doesn’t know what to think. He’s the only Master she had for several years. There is no other frame of reference.”

  “My father wasn’t cruel.”

  “Being with your father a few days here and there can’t undo what Devin did to her.” Sebastian leaned against the back of the couch. “Did you even ask her why she went to Hugo?”

  “I—” Alex paused. “No.”

  “I think what we did with Irina and her terror of what I’ve asked her are related. Devin—” Sebastian shook his head. “Do you know how Devin did it?”

  Alex shook his head. Did he want to know?

  “Kaveh brutally raped her every afternoon and then Devin hung her from the ceiling and consumed her until she couldn’t move. Sometimes he tortured her while she was hanging there, coherent but unable to move. Then she was half-way revived so Devin could rape her.”

  Alex closed his eyes, sick to his stomach at the abuse Anna endured. Every new thing he learned about Devin made him more determined to make him pay. His poor brave, sweet wife. “She thinks if she lets me do that to her, that I’ll forgive her?” he whispered.

  “You can show her it can be different. That it can be enjoyable.”

  “You’ve been itching to fuck her again.”

  Sebastian shrugged. “I won’t deny the appeal this has, but I wouldn’t make up the need just to do it. I won’t rape her, either.”

  “She might prefer you to me after you’re done.”

  “Only if you continue to be a fuckhead.”

  The irony of Alex being called the same name that his brother had been called was not lost on him. He wasn’t acting much better than Kurt had. Had he been wrong in being angry?

  “You had a right to be angry, Alex. She was wrong in what she did. But just because she’s stood up to you a few times, doesn’t mean she’ll confront you when she knows you’re angry. She’s not that confident. Not yet.”

  *****

  Alex walked into the library and found Anna reading. She was curled up in the big brown leather chair near the window where she usually spent her afternoons at home, if she wasn’t napping.

  He stood in the doorway watching her for a few minutes. She was absorbed in a book. He was pleased to see her still using the Kindle he’d bought for her. It wasn’t the one he’d given to her in San Francisco. That one had been left behind when she’d escaped.

  “Anna?” he said softly, not wanting to frighten her. At least not more than he would just being there.

  She looked up at him, eyes wide with fright, and put the e-reader on the table next to her as she stood up. “Yes, Alex?”

  “Sit,” he said gently, walking to the chair next to hers. She followed him with her eyes and didn’t sit down until he had done so. “Anna, why did you run to Hugo after...last week?”

  She stared at her hands for a long time before answering. “I was angry...I was hurt.” She twisted her fingers together. “I wanted to talk to someone. I don’t know. I was sitting in the park and just...called him.”

  “You were in the park?”

  Anna nodded. “I wandered around the park for a long time, thinking about stuff, and then I just called. I was angry at you for interfering in my life.”

  Alex kept his face impassive. He didn’t want her to stop talking because she thought he was mad at her. He had thought she’d gone straight to Hugo, but apparently she hadn’t. That made him feel a little better. “What upset you before you left?”

  She glanced up at him and shook her head. “It shouldn’t have upset me.”

  “But it did. What was it?”

  “Irina.... I met Irina at Vitaly’s funeral. It was obvious that I was very different from the other Elder-Mistresses. Painfully obvious. Irina had made a comment about sleeping with you once before, and then she was chosen for the ritual. She thought me silly for loving you. The other Mistresses were perfect. I...I had no idea what was going on that day.” Tears formed in her eyes
. “I was so confused, so lost. Devin got so angry at me for embarrassing him, but he hadn’t told me what would happen. Your dad had to punish me for doing something stupid...I didn’t know what he was doing when he got me pregnant. That whole day was horrible.” She sniffed. “When I found out that you’d slept with her again...it reminded me of how much I don’t fit in anywhere. Not with my own kind.... Even Hugo was appalled at some of the stuff I told him....” A tear slid down her cheek. “I don’t fit anywhere. I’m not a normal girl. I’m not a normal Elder-Mistress. They were all disgusted with me.”

  Alex took her hand and pulled her into his lap. He held her against his chest and she cried as he rocked her gently. After a few minutes, she put her arms around his neck and hugged him like he was a lifeline in the middle of a raging river.

  “I’m sorry, Alex. I’m so sorry. Please don’t get rid of me. You’re the only one who really understands me.”

  “Shhh. Shhh, Schatzi. I would never get rid of you.” He stroked her hair and held her tightly against him. “I love you. I love you so much.”

  *****

  Anna clung to Alex, fearful that he’d decide that she wasn’t worth the trouble.

  “I love you, Schatzi,” he repeated.

  She leaned back slightly and looked at him through tear-filled eyes. “I’m sorry I ran to Hugo. I...I was jealous of Irina. She’s...a perfect Elder-Mistress. I’m not.”

  “Schatzi,” Alex said gently, smoothing her hair. “The Elder-Mistresses are beautiful, ja, but I would much rather be with you than any of them. They are cold, you are warm and loving and beautiful.” He brushed his lips against hers. “I’m sorry I hurt you. We hurt each other, and I regret that deeply.”

  Anna nodded. “I don’t want to be with Hugo, Alex. I mean, it’s not that I don’t care for him. I do, a lot. But you...with you is where I belong.”

  He smiled down at her and kissed her again. “Ja. You belong with me.” He stood and carried her into their bedroom.

  *****

  “I missed kissing you,” Anna said as she rested her head on Alex’s bare chest, tracing the ridge of his pectoral muscles.

  “I was trying to keep sex impersonal, I didn’t want to let myself go.”

  Anna winced. Peter had done the same thing before he got to know her.

  “But I didn’t want you to think I was sleeping with someone else.”

  “What about those women the other night?”

  “The other guys picked them up. Even though I was angry at you, I had no desire for any woman except you.” He turned on his side and grinned at her. “You are very, very good at sex.”

  Anna smiled. “I guess I don’t have to worry about you leaving me because I don’t satisfy you in bed.”

  He chuckled. “Definitely not.” He leaned down and nibbled along the outside of her breast.

  “Alex?” she asked after a few minutes.

  “Ja, Schatzi?”

  “Sebastian said that you...needed us to help you defeat Devin.”

  “Ja, it’s true.”

  She closed her eyes and took a breath. “I will do it whenever you want to.”

  Alex cupped her cheek. “Anna, the way Devin did it to you...that is a cruel way to do it. I will try my best not to hurt you. And Sebastian will certainly not rape you.”

  She searched his eyes. “It’s okay if you have to.”

  He shook his head. “Nein, Anna. If I had to hurt you, I wouldn’t do it.” He kissed her gently and then smiled. “I hope you don’t decide that you like Sebastian better than me.”

  “Why would I...oh!” She would have to have sex with Sebastian so Alex could have them both. “Is there any other way to do it?”

  Alex grimaced. “Yes, but I don’t need that much power. And I would risk taking control of you.” He traced her jaw with his finger. “What Devin did to you in the plane.”

  “Oh.” Anna sighed in relief. Alex wouldn’t have golden flecks in his eyes.

  “Besides, I don’t think my father would approve of me having that much Immortal in me without being an Elder first.”

  “Haven’t you had sex with Sebastian before, though?”

  Alex nodded. “Ja, but it’s different when it’s just...sex. He wasn’t trying to ‘imbue’ me, it was just for enjoyment.”

  “Oh.” She vaguely remembered Kaveh and Devin having sex just for enjoyment. “Will it bother you? I mean, me having sex with Sebastian?”

  Alex was quiet for a moment. “In a perfect world, I wouldn’t have to share you with anyone, Schatzi. But unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world. After I deal with Devin, though, I will have more control over who I share you with. And it certainly won’t be with Devin’s friends.”

  The idea of Devin not being in her life, of not being afraid anymore was wonderful. But was it really possible that she would be free of the two men who hurt her? Jack was already dead. Devin would be soon. What would her life be like when that was done? “Are we really going back to San Francisco when all this is done?”

  Alex sighed. “I don’t know. I know I said that, but I was angry and wanted you away from Hugo. Honestly, Schatzi, I don’t know how long Vati will let me stay out of Deutschland. Having been in Russia for so long...I have a lot of time to make up for.”

  “Would I have to stop dancing?”

  Alex turned onto his side and cradled her cheek in his hand. “Not until you’re ready to stop.” He smiled affectionately and moved his hand down to her stomach. “Although, I would love to start our family soon.” His eyes turned sad. “I’m thirty-three and have no legitimate children. That is very unusual in my family.”

  Sadness for Alex squeezed her heart. She hadn’t thought about that fact. He was eight years older than she was. Of course he needed to start his family. Their family. If he hadn’t been captured, perhaps they would have had a child already. A son.

  She put her hand on his. “If you want to return to Germany after Devin is taken care of, I will go willingly.”

  His eyes brightened. “You would do that for me?”

  Anna nodded. “I would miss dancing, but there are other things more important than that.” She didn’t mind the idea of living with Wilhelm and Ilsa. It would be nice to have family around her.

  “Anna, we don’t necessarily have to live in Frankfurt. At least for a while. Stuttgart has a very good ballet company and it’s a little over 200 kilometers away from Frankfurt.”

  Anna looked at him blankly. “Kilometers?”

  Alex smiled and then narrowed his eyes with a thoughtful expression. “About...125 miles. That would be close enough to keep Vati happy.”

  Anna nodded. “That wouldn’t be too bad.” She inhaled sharply. “What about Aaron?”

  Alex’s eyes became sad again. “I’ve hardly seen him since you and I got back together,” he said softly. “I don’t know....”

  “He’s not dancing tonight, why don’t the two of you go out?”

  Alex looked away. “He’s probably with Cameron.”

  Anna giggled. “I’m sure Cameron wouldn’t mind seeing you.” She studied him. “Are you okay with Aaron having a boyfriend?”

  He shrugged. “I guess it’s kind of weird. I was the first guy he was ever with.”

  “I didn’t know that.” That would explain the longing looks Aaron gave him when Aaron thought no one was looking. But Anna saw them.

  “Does that upset you?” Alex asked softly.

  “That you were the first guy Aaron was with? Why would that bother me?”

  “I think he still has feelings for me. When he came here that first night...he acted kind of strange.”

  Anna swallowed. “Did you two...?”

  Alex quickly shook his head. “I haven’t been with him since...well, since before I met you. Met you in real life, that is.”

  “Oh.”

  “Maybe he’d want to move with us, if you’d be okay with that. After all, he is part of the German Brotherhood.”

  “As a frien
d or as a lover?”

  Alex’s eyes widened. “As a friend. Anna, you are my lover.”

  “What about at a Gathering? Would you be with him there?”

  Alex blinked and then frowned. “I don’t know. It’s been so long since I’ve been to a Gathering.” He sighed. “Maybe. But the world of the Brotherhood is different than the normal world.”

  “I know. I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad. I guess I was just wondering.” The idea of the two of them being together didn’t bother Anna overly much. She’d rather him be with another guy than one of the Elder-Mistresses.

  “We have a while before we have to decide anything like that, Schatzi.” He gave her an affectionate look. “If you want, I will speak to him. I’m certain the Stuttgart Ballet would welcome both of you.”

  Anna nodded and cuddled up next to him. They lay quietly together, Alex slowly stroking Anna’s back and arms.

  “Anna, would you be willing to be with Sebastian today?” Alex asked in a soft voice.

  “I.... If you want me to.”

  “He says that it wouldn’t be wise to wait much longer. What Essence I have is fading and it’s easier to do a ‘refill’ than to start over.” He shuddered slightly. “The first time wasn’t very pleasant.”

  “Really?” Anna smiled slightly. “Why?”

  “Well, first of all, I wasn’t with you. And secondly, it made me feel...weird. I felt out of control.” He gave her a sad look. “I didn’t plan on fucking Irina. I didn’t want to. But I just...had to.”

  Anna pressed her lips together and nodded. “As I understand it, it can be rather strong.” She looked up at the ceiling.

  “When I become Elder, you will be the one up there with me.”

  “Will someone tell me what to do next time?”

  Alex nodded soberly. “Ja, Anna. I will make sure you know what is happening.”

  Chapter Fifty-Two