by London Casey
I kept her there, against the door, my fingers working with the warm pulse of her body.
Hazel exhaled with a groan and gasped. Her breathing was wild, even long after she came. We kissed again. Wildly. Like we were teenagers just figuring out what kissing felt like.
That was what Hazel did to me. She drove me fucking crazy like that. She made me want to stand there and kiss her. She made me forget about everything surrounding me. She made me understand the power of the moment, and not just through a goddamn picture. I didn’t need a picture of this. I had the proof on my tongue. The taste of her tongue. Her lips. Her skin. I had the proof on my fingers, her sweet honey I’d drawn out of her.
When I finally broke away from her, she just stood there for a few more seconds.
I gently fixed her pants, then touched her wrist.
Her right wrist.
I ran the fingertips that had brought her to orgasm against her own skin.
“I have an idea for you,” I whispered. “A tattoo.”
“A tattoo?”
“Think about it, sugar. I won’t tell you what it is. You’ll have to trust me.”
“Maddox, I need you to know that I-”
There was a thundering boom against the door.
Hazel jumped and yelled.
“Meeting!” I heard Tate’s voice yell. “Now!”
“I guess I have to go,” I whispered. “You better go, too. Unless there’s anything you want to tell me.”
I saw the look on her face again. The look that she knew something that I was going to find out.
I approached her. I put my hands to her waist. I kissed her again, just because you never knew when there was going to be a last kiss.
I then moved her and pulled the door open.
I backtracked to my chair and grabbed Hazel’s camera.
I handed it to her, and she put it around her neck.
Then she reached for my hand. “Maddox. I…call me when you’re done here. Please.”
I nodded. “Of course, sugar.”
She smiled and walked away.
I watched her as she went.
My eyes stared at her ass rocking back and forth, her hips like the pendulum of a clock that controlled the time remaining in my heart. Tick-fucking-tock, sugar.
I met Tate’s eyes, and he motioned for me.
Whatever was about to happen wasn’t going to be good.
I licked my lips, tasting Hazel’s lips and skin.
I wished I had just one more last kiss with her…just like before…
27
MADDOX
YEARS AGO
There was a small field that just appeared out of nowhere. You’d never know about unless you did. I couldn’t remember who showed me the place first. It wasn’t Night. That much I knew. Unless it involved drinking, girls, or fighting, Night never gave a shit.
It was a field where these white flowers would grow. They were really low to the ground. I had no clue what kind of flowers they were. There were also sprinkles of blueberries in there. Actually blueberries. Where you could just pick them up off the ground and eat them. Super sweet. Juicy. It was crazy.
I took her there plenty of times. We’d stand and hold hands. She’d put her head on my shoulder. We’d talk, flirt, laugh, kiss. Sometimes our conversations were deep, and we’d talk about the future, our dreams, the hint that maybe we were going to have a future together. There was no reason to hold back. We were old enough. We could pack up and leave town, and nobody could do a thing to stop us. That was the beauty of it all. When times felt hard, there was always a way to change everything.
I didn’t realize that her version of change was drastic.
Other times, we would sit in the field and talk about the most random stuff. Animals. Look at the clouds and argue over what we saw. Count birds or airplanes. Or just stare at each other. I’d study her eyes. The bluest of eyes. The color blue that changed throughout her eye. Seriously. Shades of light, dark, in between, eyes I had never seen anything like before.
Today was…sort of different.
It was a week ago that she started acting different.
It was like a switch had flipped. She kept her head down when she saw me. Like she was guilty of something. She spoke soft, quiet, almost scared. I held her, kissed her, asked her if everything was okay. She always said yes. I asked her if anything was wrong. She always said no.
But she always showed up. She never bailed on me.
Not even today.
When I asked her to meet me on the trail for a walk.
She was there, listening to music. Standing next to the gate that led to the creek. She looked so pretty, with the way the wind stole her hair and whipped it around wherever it wanted.
I hugged her, kissed her, took her hand, and led the way.
When we got to the field, we stood at the edge of it. I wanted to walk into the field, but she said she didn’t want to. She just wanted to stand on the edge and admire it.
“I don’t want to crush anything,” she said. “You know?”
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll stand here forever with you. You know that, right?”
She turned and faced me. She grabbed my other hand and started to draw circles in the palm of my hand. It made me shiver in a really weird way. The way it made me feel. I wanted to gently lay her down in the flowers. Take her…
“I know, Maddox,” she said. “I know you stand here forever. I love that about you. But I hate it.”
“You hate it?” I asked, laughing. “Why?”
“You’re wasting your time. This is your time. To find yourself.”
“I find myself in you,” I whispered to her. “I mean that. We’ve been doing this for a long time. You know? We’ve gone through so much together. And we have so much left.”
“I know that,” she said. She kept making circles at the palm of my hand. “Do you ever wonder…just why people do things?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. Never mind.”
“Hey, talk to me. You seem like something’s bothering you. Did I do something? Did something happen? I mean, whatever it is, you can talk to me. I swear to you. You can always talk to me.”
Just like that, her eyes glistened. She turned to face the field again. Her hand slipped into mine, our fingers interlocking tight.
“I mean it,” I said.
“Maddox. I don’t want to talk anymore,” she said. “Okay?”
“Okay.”
So we stood there. We stood there for so long I actually watched the sun move, slowly making its mid to late day descent, getting ready to press itself against the horizon and splash another sunset for everyone to see.
Finally, hours later, she said, “I want to go now. I have to go now.”
“Okay. Let’s walk back together. I’ll walk you home.”
“Walk me to the end of the trail,” she said. “I’m sorry, Maddox. But I have to walk alone after that.”
“Why?”
She shrugged her shoulders.
“Are you breaking up with me?” I finally asked, just getting to the point.
“No,” she said. She touched my face. “No, Maddox. No.”
“So I can still kiss you?”
“Of course,” she said with a smile.
It was a relief to see her smile.
Even if it turned out to be a fake smile.
I touched her face and pulled her close.
I kissed her.
She tasted the same as the first time I ever kissed her.
We wasted another hour of our lives away by kissing.
Which was fine by me.
Although I didn’t know it then—the last kiss was indeed just that our last kiss forever…
28
MADDOX
PRESENT DAY
We didn’t have a meeting room like some big corporate office. We usually either piled into Tate’s office or gathered out back. Sometimes we’d have meetings after closing and
just hang around the front of the shop. But since the place was open, Tate was talking to everyone in chunks. Which meant I stood in his office with Cass and Prick. They were seated, I stood with my back against the wall.
Tate was on the other side of his desk.
“I’m glad we can meet,” he said.
“Oh, Christ,” I said. “If you start talking like a real boss, I’m out.”
“Okay. Fair enough. It’s time to take St. Skin to the next level. Starting as soon as possible.”
“Tell me this has to do with Hazel,” I said.
“Of course it does,” Tate said. “She’s going to document everything.”
“Are we going on TV?” Cass asked. “If we do, I need to get a lawyer involved. I’m sorry, Tate, but Paisley is not going on TV. She’s too young.”
“I’m good with TV,” Prick said.
“You would be,” I said.
“Fuck you, man. It’s exposure.”
“Will you three shut up for a minute?” Tate growled. He punched his desk and grabbed a folder. Then he walked around his desk and threw it at me.
I peeked inside and saw contracts. “What the fuck is this?”
“You want to grow with this business?”
“I’m not selling my soul,” I said. “And what the fuck does Hazel have to do with this?”
“Open the damn folder, Maddox,” Tate said.
I did.
“Here’s the truth, guys,” Tate said. “We’re sitting on millions right now. Hear that again—millions. A TV deal would bring millions to all of us. I’ve gotten proposals. I’ve had a lot come across this fucking desk. And I’ve taken everything I’ve heard and made a decision.”
I flipped to a picture of a building.
Then I realized it was a selling sheet. For a real estate listing.
I looked at Tate.
He grinned. “Get it now?”
“We’re moving?” I asked.
“Moving?” Cass asked. “What?”
I showed Cass the folder.
Prick reached for it. “What the hell…”
“We’re not moving,” Tate said. “We’re expanding. We’re opening a second shop. That’s the news of the day. That’s why I’ve been meeting with suits and ties. Not to fucking force you assholes to go on TV, but to expand the business. To make more money. To do greater things. To hire more artists that will share the St. Skin image.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” I said. “You’re opening a second shop? You say we’re going to make more money. How?”
“We can’t be in two places at once, Tate,” Prick said.
Tate grabbed the folder and tossed it to the desk. “You guys are fucking something else. We’re giving up on millions, right now. With the second shop, I have the chance to sign a TV deal, but keep anyone out who doesn’t want it. But…if you take a second and look, you’ll see that I don’t own the second shop.”
“Who does?” I asked.
“You,” Tate said. Then he pointed to Prick. “And you.” Then he looked at Cass. “And you. And the rest of the guys here. We’re splitting the ownership of the new building and business.”
“Jesus,” Cass said. “Ownership.”
“Which means we rise together or fall together. I’m putting up the capital, then we go from there.”
“Tate,” I said. “Really?”
“Really,” he said. “I want you all involved. We’re going to design the shop. Set it up, open it, and go fucking wild from there. The building is already bought. Now it comes down to designing it.”
“I don’t know what to say,” Cass said. “Can I give my ownership to Paisley?”
“What?” Tate asked.
“You know I’m okay with money right now,” Cass said. “Let me give this to Paisley. Or at least Diem. Put it in her name. I’ll consider it an insurance policy against myself or something. I’m happy just doing what I do here.”
“Damn,” Prick said. “You’re really something, Cass.” Prick then looked at me. “And you’re catching up.”
“What?”
“You and Hazel…”
“Speaking of her,” Tate said. “I spoke with Hazel already, and she agreed to document this whole thing for me. The way I look at it, when this all ends, what are we going to have to look back on?”
“A big bank account,” Prick said. “And hopefully a few women strutting around my house, naked.”
“Of course that’s what you want,” Tate said. “But for all of us, we’ll have the pictures Hazel is taking. She’s done with the shop here. So no worries about her bothering anyone.” Tate looked right at me. “She’ll be over at the new place, capturing what happens.”
“So Hazel knew about the expansion?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Tate said. “Why?”
“Oh, I know why,” Prick said. “He’s pissed that she didn’t spill the beans to him.”
“Fuck off, Prick,” I said. “Are we done here? I have a client.”
Tate gave a nod.
I still had plenty of time before my client.
I went to my room and sat down.
For some reason, it fucking bothered me. Expansion. Change. Hazel knew it and didn’t tell me. It was all petty kind of stuff, but I wanted Hazel’s trust. I wanted her to be able to talk to me. Tell me anything. Trust me with secrets and with pain.
Why?
Because I wanted to trust her with my darkest secret.
29
HAZEL
PRESENT DAY
I waited, but Maddox never called.
So that left me pacing around my apartment.
I knew about the second shop. I knew about the ownership deal. Tate paid me in advance to be at the new building and take pictures. And he warned me that Maddox and change didn’t work out so well. That I could sense with ease. From the second I met him. But this was good change. Exciting change. I was happy for Maddox to have gained that kind of trust from Tate.
I forced myself to organize more files on my computer, and I typed in the address for the new building so that I could see as many pictures as possible. To research the history of the building. There was nothing exciting about the building at all—it had been a small packaging factory that was then sold to a shipping company, which used it to house supplies and shipments. That company went under, and the building ended up owned by the bank.
Until now.
Now, it was owned by Tate and St. Skin.
The business itself, though, would be structured as ownership of all the guys.
It was so cool.
I tried to envision what I wanted to capture. The change. The excitement. The new business opening. The new people they were going to hire. And Tate already told me that the vetting process for new artists were going to be held with everyone’s input, not just Tate. Talk about a grueling interview process.
I checked my phone a hundred times.
Nothing was going to calm my nerves until I got to touch Maddox.
The man had set me on fire. He knew parts of my secret, but not the whole picture. And the same for me about him. I never thought that deep, dark secrets could bring two people together.
But it was happening right before my eyes.
It was something-
A knock at the door abruptly ended my thoughts.
I turned on my heels and stared at the door. My phone was behind me, on the dining room table.
Maddox was supposed to call.
But someone was at my door.
I thought about hiding in my closet.
I was grown woman, though. I was stronger than anything in the past. The proof? I survived the past.
I could handle anything that waited on the other side of the door.
But that didn’t mean I wasn’t fucking terrified.
Maddox was standing there with a brown paper bag in one hand and a six pack of beer in the other hand. He held them up, looking right at me, no expression on his face.
I let out a sigh and fe
lt like kicking him in the balls.
Asshole.
“Was that a joke?” I asked.
“Shit. No, sugar, it was a surprise.”
“Maybe I don’t do surprises so well.”
“Well…surprise,” he said. “Come for a ride with me.”
“A ride?”
“I got us some subs and beer. It’s a perfect night to be outside.”
“What are we doing, camping?”
“No, sugar. Talking.”
“You look like you’re pissed at me.”
“You knew about St. Skin and didn’t tell me.”
“I couldn’t. Tate made me swear…”
“I know,” he said. “I just…I’m tired of secrets, Hazel. Whatever we’re doing here, I really don’t want any more secrets. I hope by now you realize I’m never going to judge you. No matter what.”
You think that, Maddox? Because if I ever told you my darkest secret ever…the one secret that could put me in jail…
“Let’s go for a ride then,” I said, blurring out the voice in my head.
That voice that had been following me for years. That voice that took over from the other voice the moment it all happened. A split second decision and…
SLAM!
“Whoa, did that door offend you?” Maddox asked.
I looked back and realized I had shut my door really hard.
Then I realized I had no phone, no keys, no hoodie, nothing.
“Uh, gimme a second.” I rushed back through the apartment to gather everything I needed. But the one thing I left behind? My camera. I couldn’t remember the last time I went somewhere without my camera. It was like leaving a piece of me behind or going outside naked.
But I didn’t want to hide behind that lens tonight.
I didn’t need to hide in front of Maddox, either.
He wanted to know my secrets? Fine.
We ended up in his pickup truck, and he drove us way out of Hundred Falls Valley. Opposite the direction of where I grew up. Away from where the darkest of secrets still haunted a mostly empty road. Although, there was a chance that a ghost resided there, if you believed in that kind of stuff.