by London Casey
“I always drive out in a different direction,” Maddox said. “I grew up about an hour from Hundred Falls Valley.”
“Me too,” I said.
“Yeah? You go to Chesterbrooke?”
“No. Dallersvin.”
“Oh, okay, I get it. You were about twenty minutes away from where I grew up. Holy shit, sugar. How did we not run into each other?”
I laughed. “I’m sure our paths were very different.”
“Is that judgment I smell?”
“How many times were you picked up by the cops, Maddox?”
“At what age?” he asked with a wink.
“Exactly. I barely left the house. When I turned sixteen, my license was freedom, but things were a little crazy in my life by then. My…”
I swallowed hard and lost the words.
Maddox looked at me but didn’t push me.
I sort of loved him for that. I was used to getting pushed around, but Maddox had this magic ability to know the right times to push me around and when to back the hell off.
I slid my hand across the seat and grabbed for his hand.
“Sorry,” I whispered.
“No need.” Maddox took a sharp left, taking us off the road. “Time to get wild.”
With that, the truck sped up a little as we bounced over rocks, branches, and anything else on the ground as he carved out his own road.
“Maddox…”
“I had no parents,” he said. “Father wasn’t around and never wanted anything to do with me. My mother could never get over that fact. She ended up putting herself in hell to track him down and they both wound up…gone. I was going to get tossed into the system. But my great aunt Ada showed up at the last second and took my ass in. And while she wasn’t maybe fully capable of handling a teenager like me, I never went homeless. I never went without food. I did cause a lot of trouble. But that was influenced by the people I hung out with.”
Maddox then turned the truck to the right and worked into an opening. He parked the truck and grabbed my hand and kissed it.
“Maddox…”
“She’s still alive. I check in on her when I can. I’m telling you this because the past is always fucked up, sugar. That’s why it’s the past. It’s behind us. And also because there are things that not even she knows about me. So whatever is holding you back, don’t let it.”
And just like that, I stopped holding back.
I jumped across the seat and grabbed Maddox…
He carried me in his strong arms, my feet dangling, my arms around his neck. I looked up and saw all the beautiful stars twinkling in the sky. He opened the hitch and set me down on the bed of the truck. A second later he kissed me. His mouth devoured mine, stealing all my breaths, kisses, groans. I gripped the edge of the truck, already shaking with a need that dug deep into my core. His hands moved fast, grabbing my pants, commanding them off without having to say a word. A man like Maddox knew what he wanted and how he wanted it. And I liked that.
I leaned back, breaking the kiss, watching his hands grip the sides of my pants and panties. In one pull, my ass popped up and he was stripping me. My ass hit the bed of the truck and I shivered, groaning. Next thing I knew my pants and panties were thrown into the bed of the truck. I then sat there, naked from the waist down except for my socks and shoes.
“Fuck,” I whispered with my chin trembling.
Maddox made a feral growling noise and slid a hand to the back of my neck. He pulled me close and kissed me again. His other hand reached between my legs, feeling my desire. I was so ready for him. Instantly ready from the second he was near me. His rough fingers against my softness was a feeling better than anything else in the world.
I groaned again into the night, my hips thrusting forward, wanting more.
But Maddox didn’t give me more.
Instead, he grabbed his jeans.
I watched as he wrestled with the zipper. A moment later, he emerged, fully erect. He slid his hand up his thick cock and let go. He was standing tall, ready to take me. His hands touched the small of my back, pulling me right to the edge of the bed of the truck.
In a last-second move, I stretched out my right hand and touched him. My fingertips grazed his steel shaft, inching down to the solid base. There I tried to grip, realizing just how big he was compared to my hand. I tugged at him, needing him more than he could ever possibly realize.
As he moved toward me, I realized I had never done this…outside, the stars as witnesses, in the bed of the truck.
Maddox was against me one moment, and with a hard thrust, he was inside me.
My hands were back at the bed of the truck, holding tight. I leaned back just a little and wrapped my legs around him. He pulled back and thrust, sending another wave of intense pleasure throughout my body. We kissed, half-missing, extra sloppy, making it all that much hotter.
“Yeah, sugar,” he said in a rough voice. “You’re so fucking beautiful. You need to know that. You need to see that. You need to fucking feel that. Every day, for the rest of your life.”
I moved my right hand to his face, scratching at his cheek. I gritted my teeth, grinding my hips as he started to move harder and faster. The more of himself he gave me, the better it felt.
I dug my nails into his cheek and scratched again, then slapped my hand back to the bed of the truck. I put my head back and looked up to the stars. I felt Maddox kiss my neck, that wild tongue of his working magic, giving me goosebumps one second and sending heat everywhere the next.
The stars started to move, but it was from the movement of Maddox’s body to mine.
His hands holding my lower back and ass as tight as he could, pulling as he thrust forward. Making sure there wasn’t an inch of my core he didn’t explore and satisfy.
I groaned, louder, listening to my voice carry into the night.
“Don’t worry, sugar,” he said, his breath tickling my throat. “Nobody will ever hear you.”
Maddox started fucking even harder and faster…
But I knew his comment meant more than just the amazing sex.
I sat in arms, nestled tight, my hoodie as a blanket. His strong arms around me. A beer in my hand. A beer in his. I was aching between my legs from him, remembering his touch and wanting more of it.
I put my head back and let out a sigh.
“It’s so quiet.”
“Quiet is good,” Maddox said. “Quiet is really fucking good.”
“Are you excited for the new shop? The ownership?”
“Damn, sugar, Tate told you everything, huh?”
“Yeah. He was nervous about you, Maddox.”
“That’s okay. He knows how I feel with some things. Other things I keep secret. But the TV thing? That’s not me. I just want to tattoo people and live my life.”
“What about cameras bothers you so much?”
I turned my head and looked up at him. He stared off into the distance. And that right there would have made an amazing picture for sure. That chiseled jaw with scruff showing, painted by the moonlight. Everything so dark and powerful.
I smiled, knowing that the picture would be mine and only mine.
“I just don’t like them,” Maddox said.
“Yet you’re dating a woman who makes a living with a camera.”
“Dating? Is that what this is?”
“What would you call it?”
“Sex and beer,” he said with a laugh.
“Wow. Way to make me feel…”
“Beautiful,” Maddox cut in. “That’s all I want you to feel. Beautiful.”
I sucked in a breath and growled.
His words did something to me.
I grabbed for his free hand and looked at his fingers. His knuckles. His hands. Those hands gave people a piece of art. A piece of Maddox’s own heart.
I ran my finger over his middle knuckle, the biggest one.
I swallowed hard. “Maddox…”
“Yeah, sugar?”
“I want to t
ell you something.”
30
MADDOX
PRESENT DAY
“I’m all ears.”
Hazel with the green eyes.
Fucking Hazel with the green eyes.
She was cutting off pieces of my heart and stealing them. Finding pieces I didn’t know still existed.
She ran her finger over my knuckle. “So, I grew up seeing it. My mother…it was a constant thing in our house.”
“Damn.”
“I used to hide. She taught me how to hide. If I didn’t, he’d come for me. She let him hurt her so he wouldn’t get to me. Sometimes he did, though. I hated those nights, Maddox. I hated them the most.”
I felt her shiver.
My heart ached a little.
I squeezed her tight, letting her know she was safe in my arms. Nobody would ever fucking hurt her. Not when she was in my arms.
“She made me go into her room and look at picture books. I never knew where she got them from. I think she might’ve wanted to be a photographer, you know? At least, I tell myself that. That she had real dreams, even if they didn’t come true.
That probably sounds weird but it sort of made me happy when it came to her. I really hated her. And him. More him because he brought that to our house. Her because she took it. I knew she took it because she was protecting me, but what if…” Hazel looked up at me again. “What if she didn’t know how to stop it?”
I nodded. “Right. You were happy that you thought she had a dream. So maybe you can be happy thinking she could have stopped it.”
“It ruined my entire childhood, Maddox. I mean, that goes without saying, but I said it anyway. I had this stuffed animal rabbit with a missing eye called Wink. I would hold him, hide, do anything to get away from it. But when she showed me the picture books, that was it. I would sit there for hours and get lost. You know, you said something about us only growing up a half hour away or whatever, but this is why I was never out there. I learned to study those pictures and find stories in them. One picture, Maddox, could tell so many stories. So many stories.”
“Yeah? Try me, sugar. The first picture you took of me. Tell me a story about it.”
“Maddox…”
“No, don’t argue. Tell me a story.”
“I’m not a writer or anything.”
“I’m not asking you to write, Hazel.”
She was silent for a few seconds. Probably gathering her thoughts, considering whether to talk to me or tell me to fuck off. Either way, I just wanted to get her true emotions. I craved them. I never craved that kind of stuff before. Hazel had officially grabbed tight to me and pulled me into deep waters. Lucky for her, I could swim. And for her, I would swim every ocean on Earth.
“I saw you,” she said. “I wanted to get a really raw shot of something. The front of the building is made to look nice. Attract customers. Neon lights like an eighties music video. But the back of the building always would tell me the truth. And it did. I turned the corner and I saw you…” I cleared my throat. “He was standing there, six-six, looking ten feet tall. The cigarette positioned between his thumb and middle finger. A second later, it flew through the air. Hitting the ground, scattering red orange embers that died a quick death. As he turns his head, smoke pours from his mouth, his eyes lock onto the world surrounding him. The break is over. The day wears on him, pressing against his wide, thick shoulders, a constant threat that he fights off. Strong enough physically, strong enough mentally, but the spirit and soul are forever chipped away. His mind is heavy with thought. The stroke of a tattoo needle, the artist’s brush, there’s no taking back the ink that gets left behind. And what is left behind is the image, memory, the story, the piece of forever, a sliver of time, something he can take off his shoulders, for just a little relief.”
She was silent again.
I could picture it all. Everything she said. Down to the details of my head and my soul.
“Fucking pictures,” I whispered. “Huh?”
“Fucking pictures,” Hazel said.
“That’s why I don’t like pictures, sugar. For what you just said.”
“What do you mean?”
“Because they show everything. And some things are best not to be shown.”
Silence again.
Then slowly, Hazel turned her head. She looked up at me. I swore the fucking moonlight licked her green eyes, making them shine as bright as the midday sun. And I felt like I was having a heart attack. My damn throat closed for a moment, breathless, staring at this beautiful woman.
I saw something in her eyes. And I had a feeling of what she wanted to say.
So I nodded. “Say it, sugar.”
“Maddox, I think I’m falling in love with you.”
My hand ran down her cheek.
The words were out there, floating in the night like fireflies. They couldn’t be taken back. They couldn’t be unheard.
They couldn’t be any more true.
I put my lips to hers in a soft and sweet kiss.
“I’m a big guy, sugar, and so I don’t fall that easily,” I whispered. “But right now? My knees are cut up pretty bad. Understand?”
Hazel with the green eyes smiled.
I felt her body shiver again as she rested in my arms.
We shared another kiss. This one with a little more playful intention. But Hazel reached up and touched my cheek. Her fingers against the scruff on my face, then one finger running along my jawline.
“I’m not weak, Maddox.”
“Of course, you’re not, sugar,” I said. “I would never…”
“But I let myself act weak. There’s a difference.”
“Either way, you’re not weak. The woman who boldly got in my face with a camera is strong. The woman who had her camera broken? She’s just as strong.”
“How so?”
“Because you’re strong enough to let a camera get broken and not you. I’ll buy every camera in the world, Hazel, but I can’t replace you at a store.”
“That’s romantic, Maddox,” she said. “But I have to face facts here. I never meant for it to start happening to me. The second I had a sense of freedom I went for it. But even before that, there were times when boys would hit me and I thought it was okay. Stupid grade school stuff, but still… I remember a bully named Tommy. He threw chocolate milk in my face and took my lunch. A lunch that my mother bought for me. She never had money. It was one of those prepackaged things. Like four bucks to buy, but to me, it was like a four-hundred-dollar meal. Another boy named Danny would hit me with his shoulder in the hallway to get me to drop my books. But I had no way to deal with it. Because it was my world at home. How could I come home from school with a bruise on my shoulder and talk to my mother when she had a bruise on her face?”
“Christ, Hazel,” I said. “This is starting to get me really upset. We were so close to each other but worlds apart.”
“When I finally got a boyfriend, he turned into a jerk. Pushed me a few times. Then he slapped me and called me a cunt. That was the end of that one. I told myself then I would find a good guy. And that happened, at least at first. He wasn’t from my part of town. Wasn’t from my school. He was tall, handsome, sort of had an edge to him, but nice to me. I thought I was in heaven for about ten minutes. But the thing was, he was so manipulative. Scary how manipulative he was. Not to mention once I turned eighteen it was like a switch flipped and I felt like I had no help at all. Which is crazy. I know it’s crazy. And thing was… he would only come around when he wanted. So, when he did I wanted to be with him. I justified the outbursts. No matter how bad they got.”
“Is this Mitch?” I asked.
“No, Maddox. It’s not. Mitch is just me attracting the wrong guys, like I always do.”
“I’m not the wrong guy, sugar. I will never raise my hand to you. I will only touch you with intentions of loving you and pleasuring you. And when I get angry, Hazel, I will never direct that anger at you.”
“I know,” she whi
spered. “That’s why I’m so scared right now.”
“Scared of what?”
“I never really broke up with that first guy, Maddox. The one who really started to hurt me. There was no actual ending to the relationship.”
“Okay, what does that mean?”
I saw the hesitation on her face. The terror. Sheer terror. Her face white, like she was going to throw up.
“Hey,” I whispered. “It’s okay. We don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to.”
“I have to,” she said, her voice crackling. “If I’m going to do this with you, Maddox, I think it has to be all or nothing. No matter how secret it is.”
“Jesus, Hazel, you’re making me nervous here,” I said.
“You should be,” she said.
That was the exact moment I heard my cell phone ring. Normally, I would fucking ignore it. Nothing was more important than Hazel. With one minor exception.
I had a specific ringtone for my great aunt Ada. It was some smooth jazz song that she loved. She’d sit in her chair and bounce her hands and feet, preaching to me how new music today was so terrible.
I changed the ringtone because I needed to know if and when she was calling.
And considering how late it was…
“Sugar, I have to get that,” I whispered. “It’s my great aunt.”
“Of course,” Hazel said.
I reached through the open window in the back of the truck. I got to the phone and answered it before the voicemail could pick up.
I hoped in the pit of my stomach it was something foolish that she needed. Maybe her cable went out. Maybe she ran out of bread.
But it wasn’t that at all.
In fact, it wasn’t even my great aunt Ada on the phone.
31
HAZEL
PRESENT DAY
“I want to go with you,” I said to Maddox.
He whipped the truck into two parking spots out front of my building. “What? Hazel, I don’t have time for this.”