Secret Exposure_a bad boy new adult romance novel

by London Casey

Stealing a few spare minutes of the day, I grabbed Hazel by the waist and pinned her against the wall right there in the hospital hallway. Fuck the world surrounding us. I needed her right then.

  I kissed her and then sucked in a growling breath.

  “Goddammit, sugar,” I whispered. “You’ve been on this ride since the night I got the call. Camera around your neck, too.”

  Hazel reached up and touched my cheek. “Of course, Maddox. I’m here. I want your trust. I want you to have mine. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone.”

  I grinned.

  I knew the camera was a security blanket for her. Like that damn stuffed bunny she used to have that she told me about. She hadn’t snapped a single picture around me and Great Aunt Ada. But it kept her feeling safe.

  Not to mention Great Aunt Ada took to her. First thing she said to Hazel? Maybe you can get him to shave those pubes off his chin. He looks foolish.

  I laughed so hard in that moment tears came to my eyes. They were mixed with tears of relief because I didn’t want to lose my great aunt Ada. Her time wasn’t up yet. Shit, no.

  “There’s the doctor,” I said, “I need to talk to him.”

  “Try a little patience this time,” Hazel said.

  “I go for answers,” I said. “Patience isn’t in my name.”

  I grabbed for her hand and took her with me. The doctor had turned and was making a smooth getaway. So, I let Hazel’s hand go and charged after him. I got my hand to his sleeve and pulled.

  “Doc,” I said.

  He turned and looked surprised to see me.

  “My great aunt,” I said. “Let’s get down to it.”

  “Maddox, listen…”

  I put a hand to his chest. “You listen to me. You put her in a home and it’s her death. She may be old but she’s not dumb. And she’s not going to function with someone breathing down her damn neck. Telling her to stretch her legs and tell her when to eat. You’ll kill her. You will, Doc. Your orders will-”

  “Maddox,” Hazel said.

  I backed away a little.

  The doctor looked between me and Hazel. “What I was going to say is that your great aunt is quite stubborn. I see you learned that from her.” The doctor nodded to me. “She’s also showing a remarkable recovery. I feel comfortable sending her home. But she will have a visiting nurse two times a day for a few weeks. Just to check on her. Check her lungs, blood pressure, make sure she’s walking, eating, all that.”

  “Doc…”

  “Now before anyone wants to hug me,” he said, “if there are any signs of declining, at all, she’ll have to come back here for observation and then will have to be placed into an assisted living rehabilitation center.”

  “That won’t happen,” I said. “And I’m not going to hug you. A handshake, yeah.”

  I offered my hand and the doctor took it.

  He nodded and hurried away.

  I grabbed for Hazel and swung her around, feeling a sense of being alive that I hadn’t felt in years.

  Then the world stopped.

  We froze, staring. That little flicker of love was much more now. Maybe what once was a shooting star on a clear night was now an asteroid ready to smash into the ground. There was no stopping it, either.

  I suddenly had a vision of how far things could go with us. Images and dreams flirting with my mind that I wasn’t sure I was ready to handle.

  Before I could speak a word, a voice next to me said, “Maddox?”

  I turned and saw a nurse. “Yeah?”

  “It’s your great aunt Ada.”

  I felt my heart pause. “What’s wrong?”

  The nurse smiled. “She’s ready to go home.”

  I stood in the doorway to the little kitchen where Ada and I shared more meals than I could ever count (from quick peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all the way to her famous pot roast and potatoes with carrots). I watched as Hazel and Ada talked and laughed. They were like old friends. Hazel was showing Ada her camera, explaining what some of the buttons did.

  “Oh, you know when I wanted to take a picture,” Ada said, shaking her head. “I had a black camera. Yes. I’d press the button and then I’d have to wait to see that picture until I went to get the pictures developed. And before that…” She waved a hand. “Nobody needs to hear that.”

  “Why don’t you take a picture?” Hazel asked. “You try this out.”

  “Oh, I couldn’t do that. I might drop it.”

  “That’s okay. Maddox will buy me a new one.” Hazel looked back at me. “Right?”

  That’s when I entered the room. “Of course, I will.”

  “I guess I could try,” Ada said. “My hands are a little shaky. From those damn medicines. I’ll tell you that.”

  Hazel gave Ada the camera. With loving patience and a smile she treated my great aunt like that queen she really was in my life. Hazel knew nothing of what I went through and the hell Ada always kept me on the other side of. When her friends were enjoying retirement and playing bingo on Friday nights, Ada was going to bed by seven to get up at three on a Saturday morning for overtime. And I was just some prick of a teenager, too dumb to see what she was doing, even dumber to not help out more than I did.

  Ada looked at me. “Smile, Maddox.”

  “No, no, no,” I said.

  “Are you going to argue with me?” Ada asked. “Don’t make me yell at you in front of your pretty girlfriend here.”

  I put my hands up. Defeated.

  “Fine. Take your picture.”

  Ada wrestled with the camera and held it up. Hazel stood next to her, explaining what to do next.

  “Okay, Maddox,” Ada said. “Are you ready, dear?”

  Hazel glanced at me, that little smirk on her face, knowing she was enjoying watching this.

  I smiled.

  I would never deny Ada a smile.

  She pressed the button, the camera clicked, and that was that.

  “Oh, that was fun,” Ada said. “I could use one of these.”

  “I’ll get you one for Christmas,” I said.

  “He’s a smart ass,” Ada said. “Forever a smart ass. He used to be smart.”

  “I still am smart,” I said.

  Ada snorted.

  “Why used to be smart?” Hazel asked.

  “Maddox used to do very well in school. Always bringing home awards and such. I thought he was going to be a doctor.”

  “I was never going to be a doctor,” I said. I laughed. “Never.”

  “You could have been,” Ada said.

  “What happened?” Hazel asked.

  “He turned seventeen,” Ada said. “So smart one day and then a damn fool the next.”

  “I’ve seen that in him,” Hazel said.

  Ada grabbed for Hazel’s hand. “His mind went to mush. Everyone said it was typical teenage boy stuff. But there was something else in him.” Ada looked at me. “You could have been a doctor.”

  “But now I’m a tattoo artist,” I said. “Almost the same thing.”

  Ada laughed. “A damn fool.”

  “See how I grew up?” I asked, winking at Hazel.

  “I think you grew up better than most,” Hazel said.

  “I agree,” Ada said. “He put some years on me, though. I would look twenty years younger.”

  “You look beautiful, Ada,” Hazel said.

  “Yes, you do,” I said. “So, let’s forget about me growing up. Nobody needs to hear about that.”

  Or why I became so distracted. Why I almost fell over the edge that night myself.

  I hoped Ada wouldn’t bring up what happened after.

  “We had enough sadness around here,” Ada said.

  I cringed.

  “Why sadness?” Hazel asked.

  “Oh, just a tragedy,” Ada said. “Poor girl that Maddox knew…”

  “Hey,” I said. “I realized that I have no new pictures with my great aunt.”

  “Are you up for a couple of pictures?” Hazel aske
d Ada.

  She touched her face and sighed. “I don’t look my best.”

  I knocked a hand on the table. “You look beautiful. I’ll say it ten more times.”

  Hazel walked by me. “Nice save,” she whispered. “She was going to say something about you.”

  I put my hand out and touched her stomach. “Not here. Not now. Okay, sugar?”

  Hazel nodded.

  I went to the end of the table and crouched to take a picture with Ada.

  Hazel stood in her glory, snapping picture after picture.

  I surprised Ada with a kiss to her cheek, making her yell with a laugh. That picture was by far one of the greatest pictures ever. One of those pictures that would forever live on long after her days were called short.

  I stood and helped Ada to her feet.

  When I first came to live with Ada, she was as tall as my shoulder. Time and gravity pushed on her, along with me growing up and getting taller and stronger. I put my arm around Ada and she was just below my chest now. It didn’t matter her height, she could and would still kick my punk ass if I ever needed it.

  After a couple pictures, Ada grabbed the back of my shirt. She looked up at me. “Maddox, you don’t dare ruin this.”

  “Ruin what?”

  “What you have here.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Maddox, I know what I’m looking at. That woman with the pretty green eyes…you’re going to marry her someday.”

  34

  HAZEL

  PRESENT DAY

  Maddox sat in his truck and stared at the house for a minute in complete silence. The front door was shut. The visiting nurse was paying her afternoon visit. We stayed for most of it, until Ada insisted we leave. I could have told Maddox we’d call her. We’d come back tomorrow. She wasn’t a far drive from Hundred Falls Valley. But that would have done nothing for him. I finally had another few pieces of his puzzle put together. To see this side of Maddox made my heart swell.

  He swallowed hard and cleared his throat. He grabbed the steering wheel.

  I grabbed his hand.

  Maddox looked at me. His eyes were glossy. Those super dark eyes shining right at me.

  I nodded.

  There were no words.

  I peeled his strong hand off the steering wheel and kissed his palm. I rubbed it against my cheek.

  I loved him. I couldn’t believe it happened the way it did. The wild ride was just getting started. But I loved him. And wherever the ride was going, I’d be there.

  Maddox put the truck into drive and started to go the opposite way from home.

  Again, I didn’t question a thing.

  It wasn’t until he sat at a stop sign well beyond the law requiring three seconds did he start to talk.

  “There’s a reason why I don’t like cameras, Hazel. A really good reason.”

  “Okay.”

  “There was a time when I was followed by cameras. When I was the go-to guy in that tragedy that Ada started to talk about. I was the one…”

  Maddox started to drive again.

  A few minutes later he pointed to my window. “See, there’s a trail there. It was a walking or running trail. And it ended at the end of the road before crossing the street and continuing. There the trail would go to another town. I guess they were going to connect that trail to another, blah, blah. But off the second trail was where I would hang out. Myself and my buddies. We all had nicknames, too. Mine was Daw.”

  “Daw?” Hazel asked.

  “Yeah. Don’t worry about it. But was always me, Slimy, Nickel, and Night. Night was more or less the ringleader of our group, adding and taking away members. A total asshole. But they were all the family I really had. We lived in the woods. Riding dirt bikes, getting into trouble, fleeing from the cops by using the trails where the power lines run up to the highway. But there was this ridge. It was work to get to the top of it. At some point there was, my guess, train tracks that went across it. There was the same exact ridge directly across the river. You couldn’t get to it though. And the drop from the ridge to the river was huge. Hundreds of feet. The thing to do was to stand at the edge and look down. See how long you could stare down before you got sick. It was that scary. Even for a guy like me. I’d look over that edge and my knees would instantly start to shake.”

  Maddox kept driving, taking me to the end of the road. Then he turned right and swung a quick left into a dirt parking lot. He went to the very far end and stopped the truck. He turned the truck off and left the keys dangling in the ignition.

  “Right through there,” Maddox said. “That’s where the ridge is. The river is to our right. We would drink in the woods. We would party. We would fight. We would fuck. It was our place. We found a creek and would hang there. Set up camp, even. There was a blueberry field there, too. These hidden gems in the mix of our messed-up lives. Night never appreciated that. He was all about fighting. Stirring up trouble. Taking his anger out on anyone he could get to. I never belonged in that world and was getting out. When I met her, I knew: it was a way out.”

  Maddox turned and reached for my hand.

  “I loved her. Not like the way I love you, though. But if you want to know this story, then you need to know that I loved someone else.”

  “I understand,” I whispered. “You don’t have to be afraid near me, Maddox.”

  He laughed. “Isn’t that what I usually say to you?”

  I felt heat rush to my face. Here he was telling me his story and I hadn’t told him all of mine yet.

  “What happened, Maddox?”

  “It was one of those fast puppy love things. We just clicked. Her parents hated me. The more they kept her away, the more we got together. But then she started having other boyfriends. A kiss here and there. Touching. I don’t even know what else. Soon she had my heart twisted up. I couldn’t figure out what to do. I loved her and wanted her. But she kept changing. She kept getting…darker. That’s what I realized later. She was getting darker. I could have walked away but I wanted to save her. I wanted to help her. I wanted to know what was happening to her. Then one night she said she wanted to see me. I dropped everything for her, time and time again. That’s what Ada meant when she mentioned my being unfocused? That was because of her.”

  “What was her name?” I asked. “You keep saying her.”

  “I haven’t spoken it in years. I haven’t even thought it in years.”

  I slid closer to him across the long front seat of the truck. “You can trust me, Maddox.”

  “I know I can. Saying her name makes it real again.”

  “You’re not alone this time,” I whispered.

  Maddox looked at me. He swallowed hard. Then he whispered, “Ava.”

  I nodded.

  “Ava,” he said. “Ava. She captured me. I wanted to break out of this town and take her with me. So that night I went to meet her at the top of the ridge. My vision was to make something happen. Save her from whatever was hurting her. Her parents were just…I don’t know. It’s hard to judge now compared to when I was nineteen, you know? Her stepfather was overbearing and I think he hated the fact he wasn’t her real father. He was loud and to me, he could be violent. Her mother loved to work and I don’t think she really wanted to be a mother. But what I didn’t know about Ava? She had gotten tied up with another guy. A really bad guy. An asshole. A guy who would hit her, hurt her. And it was all done in a way I never knew. I never forgave myself for that. Not being able to see it, know it, and stop it. That there were times when I’d be with Ava and she would have secret bruises from the attack of another guy. A guy who had no soul, no heart, a piece of shit who let his anger out on women. I say the word women because she wasn’t the only one he was with. Ask me how I know that, sugar?”

  I felt a little shaky myself. Maddox was gently touching on triggers that made me uneasy. In a weak voice, I whispered, “How did you know that, Maddox?”

  He looked me in the eyes. “The other guy? It wa
s Night. My buddy. My supposed best friend.”

  “No.”

  “Yeah. He was always the one telling me to not be committed to Ava. Telling me to have something on the side. Saying that because she was acting weird I didn’t need that. Or better yet, suggesting to me that I hit her. Put her in her place.”

  “Maddox…”

  “And I would never even think it. But that night, it all came together. She was sleeping with Night. They both stabbed me in the back. For her, she was a victim and too afraid to ask for help. Until that night. By the time I got there, she was alone. She was bleeding. He hurt her. That’s when she threw a note on the ground. And she opened her arms. And she fell back off the ridge.”

  Maddox looked out the windshield. I felt like the temperature in the truck had dropped twenty degrees. I had chills everywhere. I squeezed his hand and covered my mouth with my other hand.

  “I got to the edge,” he whispered. “I couldn’t see her. I called for help. They took forever to get there. I guess they were having a busy night. By the time they got there…fuck. Fuck this. Fuck all of this.”

  Maddox threw open the door and got out of the truck. I tried to grab for him but he was gone. He left the door open, a beeping sound coming from the truck as a reminder that the keys were in the ignition.

  He walked to the front of the truck and leaned against it.

  I let out a sigh.

  I let it sink in. He watched the woman he loved jump to her death. Because she was being abused by his best friend. Which meant he never got his answers or his closure. He never got to hear her explain anything. All he had was the letter.

  I couldn’t just sit there forever and wait.

  I pulled myself across the seat of the truck and slowly climbed out.

  As I walked to the front of the truck, Maddox slumped down. He fell to his ass and sat there.

  So, I joined him.

  I put my arms around him and pulled, wanting to hold him and hug him. But he was so big, so strong, one million percent man.

  “What happened after that was the rumors. See, I never told anyone about the letter. About her truth. I didn’t want that to be her lasting memory to people, you know? I wanted everyone to remember her as she was. At first, I started to get heat. They were blaming me. Saying I pushed her. I had to talk to the police. To psychologists. I went through hell. The rumors kept spreading. That she jumped. That she was pushed. That we were arguing and she jumped because of that. That she was pregnant. That I wanted her to kill the unborn baby. Then there were rumors she was drunk and messing around the edge and fell. That she was high and wanted to fly. I mean, it was endless. And because it was a small town and such a big thing, other towns got involved. I had people following me, Hazel. Taking my picture. Writing stories about me. My great aunt Ada used so much of her money to hire lawyers to go after those people. I felt like it would never fucking end.”