Grave Creatures

by John P. Logsdon

  But it was blocked.

  By Matilda.

  “Nobody shoots at my man,” she said with a sinister stare.

  Then she launched a volley back at Fred. It wasn’t powerful enough for the necromancer to be fazed by it, but it was enough to stop me from worrying about whose side she was on. Probably her own. As long as Harvey wore the pants, though, she’d go along with whatever he wanted.

  Ah, love. Strange, quirky, and full of surprises.

  “Looks like Matilda’s joined our side,” I said through the connector. “That’ll look good on her record, if she makes it to trial.”

  “Don’t care,” Rachel replied. “Trying to get Cletus and Merle through for a shot at that damn magical box.”

  “Where is it?”

  She pointed.

  I followed the direction of her finger and used zoom to pinpoint the box. It was being held by a stern-looking vampire who stood within feet of Fred. This one had runes that perfectly matched the one from my vision, and there was a glow connecting it to Fred.

  “Take care of Paula,” I commanded with a look at Rachel.

  “I got her.”

  “Thanks.” I grabbed Harvey by the arm and pointed. “Do you think you can throw me over there?”

  He grabbed me without answering and I found myself sailing through the air. I wasn’t ready for that, to be honest. I’d been on more of a fact-finding mission when I’d asked the question, but his distance was perfect. I crashed right into the vampire, knocking the box from his hands while simultaneously having the wind knocked out of me.

  But who needs to breathe?

  I snatched up the box and stuck Boomy on it.

  Fred’s face went completely white.

  “No,” he said frantically. “Stop! Everyone stop!”

  They did. Including the zombies that were closing in from behind us. Again, the world silenced.

  “You can’t destroy that,” he said, licking his lips. “If you do, I’ll die. Everything I’ve created will die.”

  “Technically, they’re already dead, right?”

  “Huh?” He looked unsure for a moment. “Yes, yes, they are, but I mean they’ll no longer be animated.”

  “I don’t see a problem with that, personally,” I said matter-of-factly.

  “Please, no, I’m begging you.” He actually got down on his knees, which was kind of creepy. “It was nearly one hundred years of work.”

  “That’s a shame, Fred,” I said sadly. “Honestly, a man of your power could have done some decent stuff with all that time instead of creating a box of doom. What is it with you evil overlords? If you just channeled your abilities into something good, the world would be such a better place.”

  “Thanks, Oprah,” he replied and then paled some more. “Sorry, sorry. You’re right, of course. I’ve been a bad man. A very very bad man. I’ll change. I promise. Just don’t destroy that box.”

  I knew that the Directors wanted to get their hands on this guy, and I couldn’t rightly blame them. Fred was powerful. He’d probably be able to dump enough intel to help the magic community build blockers against all this necromancy crap. Honestly, I just wanted to end this guy. In my estimation, he was too strong. If they put him in prison, he’d slowly work his way out and then be on the rampage again. He was too set in his ways.

  But my job was to bring him in, if possible.

  “All right, Fred,” I said, pulling the gun away from the box, “if you’ll play nice, let us put the cuffs on you, and all that, we’ll take you in. The Directors want to speak with you anyway.”

  “Yes, yes,” he replied with much enthusiasm, never taking his eyes off the box. “Whatever you say.”

  He was obsessed. I moved his rune-covered prize slowly around. He followed it like a dog would a treat. That was strange, but it’s not what had me worried.

  Three things set me on edge. The first was that Fred’s eyes were somehow getting darker and glowing at the same time; the second thing was that the box was starting to grow warm in my hands and there was a tingling sensation running up my arm; and the third thing was noting that there was a pygmy-sounding chant being done as a whisper from Fred’s unmoving mouth.

  “Ian!” yelled Rachel as the box lit up.

  A light poured from it directly at Fred’s open mouth. His entire body was being engulfed by it. It was as though he’d swallowed the sun.

  In one fluid motion, I launched the box straight up into the air, trained Boomy on it, and fired.

  Chapter 46

  It was pretty amazing how powerful that explosion was, but the weirdest part is how it blew up.

  Nobody but Fred was impacted.

  I guess that had to do with the connection he’d built between himself and that box. This explained why he didn’t die during that explosion I saw in the vision. The box killed his master, but left everyone else intact.

  Obviously it was his last shot at salvaging his nefarious plans, but all it ended up doing was localizing the destruction. Good thing, too, or we’d have all died from it. If what happened to Fred was any indication of what would have happened to us, I can honestly say that it did not look enjoyable. He was obliterated. There were bits of him all over the place. If even one decent-sized chunk of his flesh could be found, I’d be impressed. You could find tons of his blood and such everywhere, though. In fact, we were all wiping ourselves down because of it.

  My poor suit.

  All of the zombies dropped to the ground with a collective thud. The apprentice wizards were blinking and looking around as if in shock. The same was happening with the bodyguards.

  “What’s going on?” I said to Harvey. “How come they all look confused, but you don’t?”

  “Your guess is as good as mine,” he replied with his hands up. Then he said, “Wait.” He turned to Matilda. “Why is everyone looking confused?”

  She was staring at him with judging eyes. It was clear to me that she was definitely in need of a short leash and while I didn’t know Harvey all that well, he just didn’t seem the type to hold it.

  “It was his spell,” she answered. “He had all of them under it.”

  “Why not you?”

  “Because I’m a higher level, Harvey,” she replied with a sneer.

  “Watch yourself, woman,” Harvey stated with a growl.

  Matilda cooed in response, seemingly melting from Harvey’s demeanor. Like I said, I know how to call them. Honestly, I’d first thought that Harvey was into that kind of thing seeing how their roles were originally reversed, but it was clear that side of the fence did nothing for him besides cause irritation and loneliness. Again, though, he just seemed to be a really nice guy, so I had the feeling that he’d never last as the dominant type, especially since Matilda was going to constantly make him work for it.

  Time to wash my hands of this problem.

  The rest of my crew came up the hill, looking haggard. I completely understood that. We all were going to need a little rest and relaxation at this point, especially those of us who drank that elixir. Cletus and Merle would be wiped out for a week. I’d have to see if I could get them a room comped or something.

  “You okay?” said Rachel, eyeing me carefully.

  “Yeah, why?”

  “That box had a trigger on it,” she replied, not getting too close. “I saw something jump from it right when you shot it. Oh…” She pointed at the ground near my feet. The amulet was laying just a few steps away from me. She reached down and picked it up by its string and peered inside. Her eyes widened. “You’re one lucky bastard, Ian.”

  “What is it?”

  “Eradication spell, from the looks of it.”

  “Oh, that’s sounds nice.”

  “It’s not.”

  “Obviously.” I chewed my lip wondering if I really wanted to know what an eradication spell did, aside from eradicate something, of course. I gave in to my curiosity. “What would it have done?”

  “Eradicate you.”

 
I groaned. “I know that, Rachel, but how?”

  “Oh, it would’ve split you into dust like the nanites did to the zombies.”

  I gulped and looked around.

  There were a mass of worried faces, and they all belonged to Fred’s minions. Honestly, they looked horrified.

  I turned to Matilda and asked, “Do they know what they’ve done?”

  She nodded.

  “Did they have any control over it?”

  “No.”

  Good. That meant that most of these people were going to be let off without punishment. Matilda wouldn’t be one of them, of course. She’d already admitted that her wrongdoing was by choice. Chances were she’d get a couple of years in high-security and then would have to wear a magic-canceling anklet for a while.

  “Harvey?” said Portman as he approached. “What the hell are you doing here?”

  They went off into a conversation about things while Rachel and I explained the details of what had occurred to Griff, Chuck, Jasmine, and Felicia. Felicia was in full werewolf mode herself, which didn’t happen often. She always seemed self-conscious about it when it happened. I didn’t say a word.

  “Serena,” I called through the connector, “we’re all clear here. The necro is dead.”

  “And the zombies?”

  “Dead…again.”

  “Excellent. I’ll work with Portman’s folks and tell everyone that the show is over. We’ll take care of the logistics.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Anyone need healing?”

  “I think we’re good,” I replied. “We’ll be back soon.”

  Paula was in a daze when I approached her.

  “How are you feeling?” I asked.

  “Not great,” she replied, sounding like she was rather drunk. “That bastard kidnapped me, you know?”

  “I do, yes. But he’s dead now and you’ll be fine.”

  “Dead?” She gave me a glare. “You promised me an exclusive with him, Ian.”

  “Out of my hands, I’m afraid.”

  “Isn’t it always?”

  “Would you have rather I’d have let him kill you?” Her eyes shot open as she wobbled slightly in the chair. “That’s right, Paula, he was planning to make you a zombie.”

  “That would have been bad.”

  Her eyes were drooping, so I pushed her back gently in the chair and kissed her on the forehead.

  She fell asleep.

  I walked over to Cletus and Merle. These two had turned out to be dynamos. I honestly couldn’t believe how well they stood up to this level of chaos.

  “I have to say, guys, you two were pretty incredible.”

  “Aw shucks,” replied Cletus with a wave of his hand.

  Merle shrugged. “Just havin’ fun is all.”

  “Honestly, your skill with those guns was damn well on par with ours.”

  They looked at each other for a second and then started laughing. Obviously there was an inside joke going on. Or maybe I’d said something that could have been construed as toilet humor? I replayed my last sentence and couldn’t spot anything wrong.

  “We gotta tell ya something, buddy,” Merle said. “We ain’t a couple of guys with advanced degrees and such.”

  “You’re not?”

  “Nah,” Cletus piped up, “we both work at the Little Rock Paranormal Police Department.”

  “What?” I said, giving them both a more careful study. “But you’re normals, right?”

  “I’m an incubus, actually,” Merle replied with a wink.

  “You?” He wasn’t even close to standard incubus material. “Seriously?”

  “Don’t be judging this book by its cover, now. I got some moves that’ll keep the ladies purrin’ for weeks.”

  “Ew,” I said, not wanting to know that. “What about you, Cletus?”

  “I’m an incubus, too.”

  That hat. That t-shirt. That painted-on squint. “No fucking way.”

  “Yep. That’s why we come to Vegas on vacation a couple times a year. You’d be amazed how much of that ‘What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas’ stuff is due to us.”

  “True that,” said Merle with a laugh. “I gotta say them zombies is a new one on us. That was fun.”

  “What about the lottery?” I asked, feeling somewhat perplexed by all of this.

  “That bit was true, actually,” answered Cletus with a big grin. “Gonna stick with the force, though. It’s just too much fun no to.”

  Rachel stepped into our midst and looked them both over for a few moments.

  “Each of you is an incubus?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” replied Merle.

  “We sure is,” agreed Cletus.

  She walked around, slowly sizing them up. Then she began nodding.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  She gave me an evil grin, put her arms around the shoulders of the Little Rock PPD boys, and said, “Planning my next two days.”

  Chapter 47

  The good news was that the impending zombie apocalypse was squashed by my very capable team. The bad news was that I had to go and meet with the Directors about it.

  “We were pleased to know that Ms. Rose was retrieved successfully,” said O, “though it’s a shame you couldn’t have brought the necromancer in. Interrogating him would have proved beneficial.”

  “Agreed, O,” said Silver.

  That was odd. They only tended to agree with each other after some verbal jousting first. Maybe they’d had a conversation to clear the air? I kind of hoped that wasn’t the case. I’d rather they be at each other’s throats than at mine.

  “I gave him the opportunity,” I explained, “but he wouldn’t have anything to do with it.”

  Unfortunately, I didn’t have any of Fred’s remnants to prove my argument because I’d taken a shower before my meeting this time.

  “And you said that the rest of those involved were under some type of controlling spell?” asked Zack.

  “Yes, sir. Well, most of them anyway. There were two who weren’t. One is dead and the other is in custody.”

  “We should put everyone else through post-traumatic care,” O noted. “Being under the control of an evil wizard is quite horrific.”

  “I would imagine that to be true, O,” said Silver.

  I furrowed my brow at this, being that it was the second time they agreed without fuss.

  “I would also think the one they brought into custody would do well to have counseling, no?”

  “Agreed, Silver,” O replied. “I think that’s an excellent suggestion.”

  “Are you douchebags dating now or something?” EQK piped up. “Or maybe you’ve gone to couples counseling? By the Great Pixie, it’s starting to make me sick.”

  I had to cover my mouth at that one. Leave it to EQK to say what I was thinking, most of the time anyway. Sometimes he went overboard, which was saying something coming from me. This time, though, he was dead on.

  “We’ll always have our differences, EQK,” O said, “but we’re a team and so we had a discussion to work things out.”

  “Did this discussion include wine, moonlight, and a Barry White album playing in the background by chance?” Then EQK grunted and said, “Blech! I’m gonna puke.”

  “All right, EQK,” Zack said sternly, “that’s enough. You’re the cause of the majority of the problems in this group, and you know it.”

  “Yeah, so? What’s your point?”

  “My point is that these two are trying to make things better for everyone and you don’t like that.”

  “Again, not understanding where you’re going with this,” EQK replied after a few seconds. “Maybe you’re just having fun stating the obvious?”

  Zack growled. “I’m saying that it would serve you well to learn how to be more diplomatic like they have.”

  “Oh, I see,” EQK said. “Do you really think so?”

  “I do.”

  “Huh. I’ll have to think about that.”

 
Why did I have the feeling that an outburst was coming? I’d been reporting to these guys for way too long and there was no way that little pixie was going to play nice. At least not that quickly. But the others were gullible. Well, O and Zack anyway. Silver was likely thinking the same way I was. Of course, he may also have been wearing rose-colored glasses at the moment considering how he and O were getting along.

  “Maybe we could work together,” Zack suggested. “Like O and Silver did.”

  “Would you really do that?”

  “Of course. We’re a team, EQK.”

  “Hmmm. I’ll tell you what, Zack.” Here it comes. “I’ll go ahead and do this little meeting with you as soon as you’ve found your balls. How’s that sound?”

  “My balls?” Zack sounded genuinely confused.

  “Yeah, those tiny orbs you used to have dangling between your legs, you girl.”

  “Hey now,” said O in a dire voice, “let’s not have any of that in chambers!”

  “Oh, go play with your wand,” EQK shot back.

  Silver laughed out loud at that. I could tell it was an unintentional laugh due to the snort that preceded it, but that only made it more pronounced.

  “What the hell are you laughing at, Silver?” O demanded.

  And that’s when they started up their bickering again. Everyone but EQK, anyway. While I couldn’t see him, I had the distinct feeling that he was sitting with his arms crossed and a triumphant look on his face.

  Chapter 48

  The Three Angry Wives pub was a welcoming reprieve from the events of the last few days. Drowning my memories in glasses of bourbon wouldn’t take it all away, but it’d at least provide a bit of a vacation. What I needed was sleep, and I’d get it…later.

  Right now I was dealing with the fact that Rachel was currently rolling in the hay with a couple of incubuses. I frowned. Maybe the term was “incubi?” Either way, I didn’t like it. I don’t think I was jealous…or maybe I was? Shit, I don’t know. I just didn’t like it.

  I groaned and drained the contents of my glass.

  “Glad to see you again,” said the voice of a familiar man. It was Gabe. “Mind if I join you?”