Lost for You

by BJ Harvey

  I look for any sign of panic from her, and I’m surprised when I see none. “Is that what you want?”

  “We need someone at the top now, and I’m not ready for that.”

  “Sounds like Lawrence is good to have around,” I add.

  Resting her head on my chest, she adds, “He’s a god send, that’s for sure.”

  “That’s good,” I say as I run my hands through her sleep mussed hair.

  “How are you doing? With seeing Sylvia again?” She lifts her head slightly to look at me. I know I can’t get out of this talk.

  “Well, you saw how I dealt with it last night. I can’t believe she was standing in front of me again. I was in the same room as my birth mother. It was surreal and felt rather strange.”

  “Do you want to see her again?” she asks, her eyes widening in expectation.

  “I think so. But I want today to just be about us. Can we do that?”

  She places her hands on either side of my jaw, pushing the full length of her body against mine. “I think we can do that.”

  Wrapping my hands around her head, I slowly drag my fingers through her hair, encouraging her to come closer. “Did you know…” I say, gently trailing my tongue along her bottom lip, “that you’re the perfect cure for any self-inflicted hangover?” I ask with a smile as I trace the rest of the way around her mouth.

  Her cute grin has turned hungry. Her eyes have dilated, and her breathing has picked up. I love the effect I have on her, and that it hasn’t changed despite the crap she’s been through. “I hope so. How’s the head?” she asks breathlessly, bringing her hand up and running it down the side of my cheek. I turn my head into it, planting a soft kiss in the middle of her palm.

  “It’s pounding like a freight train right now, but I’m sure we can think of ways to cure it,” I murmur against her skin, giving a cheeky thrust of my hips at the same time, and earning a small whimper from Elle.

  She giggles at the sound she just made, like she is almost embarrassed about it. Her laugh still warms my whole body as much, if not more, than when we first met. God, I sound like a sap, but when you love someone as much as I love this beautiful girl lying on top of me, you’ll do sap in your sleep, or when your hung over, as is the case right now.

  I lean forward again, softly teasing her lips as I gently tug on her bottom lip with my teeth. She lifts herself up while wrapping her arms around my neck, inching her tongue into my mouth, stroking it like she wants to taste me, every last inch of me. I run my hands down her side, skimming the curve of her hips and gripping her ass as I pull her tight against me. She groans in my mouth as I grind myself against her, the pressure building between us.

  “Again?” she murmurs against my neck as she starts tracing the vein in my neck down to my collarbone.

  “God that feels good, baby. I need to be inside you as much as I need that Advil right now,” I say as I lift her up and roll her over, earning a squeal of delight. “Hi,” I whisper against her lips as I move my tongue into her welcoming mouth.

  I’ll never get sick of the taste of Elle; she’s like cold ice tea on a hot summer’s day. There is something about touching her, tasting her, being with her, that erases every bad memory. This is what I need right now, what we both need. I can’t believe I missed out on this for a week while I gave her the space she wanted, the space she needed, but I’m definitely going to make up for that lost time.

  I slide myself up so that I’m straddling Elle’s hips, being careful to keep my weight off her chest. She may be healed, but her breathing is still something we have to be mindful of.

  She sits up with me, allowing me to quickly pull off her tank top, revealing her gorgeous breasts. I shuffle back, leaning down to trail kisses from her neck down to her rapidly rising and falling chest, and soon I am devouring her breasts with my mouth, licking and sucking until her moans start to slowly drive me insane.

  I need more.

  I shuffle further down, hooking my fingers in her pajama pants and pulling them down slowly, locking eyes with Elle and burning alive from the inside when I see the need for me in her eyes.

  “Brax,” she says softly, her voice a melodic invitation.

  Now that she’s completely naked in front of me, I don’t waste any time putting my mouth on her, using my tongue to satisfy my craving for Elle. With her hands in my hair, her grip getting tighter the closer she gets to the edge, I grind myself into the bed to give myself some friction to combat my overwhelming need to take her hard and fast. Realizing that I can’t take much more, I thrust my fingers deep inside of her, using my tongue to vibrate against her center until she starts crying out my name as she climaxes.

  “Brax,” she breathes out. “Inside me. Now. I need you.”

  Never one to leave my girl wanting, I move up as she spreads her legs apart further, cradling my hard length up against her core as I kiss the shit out of her. I know she can taste herself on my lips, and she groans in pleasure as I plunder her mouth, her hands wrapping around my neck, bringing me as close as I can to her. I pull my hips back, pushing inside of her until I’m sheathed to the hilt.

  “Ah, baby, you feel like home,” I growl out as I pull back and thrust deep again. Damn, she feels good. Anytime of the day is the right time to be inside of Elle. I can feel my climax building already, and I know I’m not going to last much longer. Sensing that I’m close, Elle reaches down to where our bodies are joined, wrapping her fingers around me and stroking herself with her thumb. I feel her tighten around me, and that’s me done for. Elle pulls her hands around my head and pulls me down for a deep kiss while we both come apart together.

  This is bliss.

  Early yesterday morning, Devon and I met with our contact from Brightlight. At the end of our last phone call, Victor asked me to take care of something for him. That something was to meet with our contact and arrange to look for evidence that Harry Brimstone had been embezzling from Brightlight.

  I don’t want to know how Victor knew about it, and I know that even if I’d asked, he wouldn’t have told me. But this was obviously the ace he had up his sleeve, his trump card. And, wouldn’t you know it, our insider rang me two hours later to say that she had found ten million dollars worth of phony contractor payments being paid to a foreign company with accounts in the Cayman Islands. All it took was one call to the Feds, and four hours later at 5 p.m. LA time, Harry Brimstone was arrested and taken into custody on suspicion of embezzlement. I haven’t had a chance to talk to Brax about it, but Devon and I definitely had a few drinks last night to celebrate. That is one threat against Elle taken care of.

  I’m not sure what this will mean for Elle and Brightlight, but I’m glad that it happened because it means that D and I can head back to the East Coast and get back to Elle and Brax. You never know, maybe now that Brimstone has been taken out of the equation the threat to Elle will have disappeared. That would mean that Brax and Elle could start their lives together, with no secrets, and no more lies.

  But somehow I think that is wishful thinking on my part.

  I don’t know why, but I have a bad feeling that Brimstone, despite his threats to take Brightlight one way or another, is not the main suspect in Elle’s shooting. And if so, we’re back to square one.

  All is well in my world. Well, as good as can be expected considering Brimstone is in jail, I’ve just come face to face with my birth mother for the first time in twenty-five years, and we still don’t know who shot Elle, who ordered the hit, or what the hell is the deal with the guy in the black Honda.

  He is the unknown variable in all of this. All of the dots are starting to connect except him. Who the hell is he? And where the hell has he been for the past six weeks since the shooting?

  I no longer have to lie to Elle. She’s taken me back and forgiven me for leaving and lying to her, and we’ve vowed to face whatever is thrown at us together. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to her. Whatever it takes, I will do it.

  Once I recove
r from my hangover, I decide to surprise Elle. I crouch down next to the couch where she has curled up to watch Storage Wars. God knows what she sees in this program, but she’s got Shay hooked on it too.

  “Since there are a lot of camera crews outside, I’m gonna pop out to get some food. and then when I get back, I want to surprise you with something.” That gets her attention. Her head snaps up as she looks at me, her eyes dancing with excitement.

  “Surprise me? You know I love surprises, Brax. What is it? Please tell me,” she pleads, pulling out her pouting puppy dog look and trying to make me cave.

  “Not gonna work, sweetheart, but you do look damn cute,” I say, gently tapping her nose with my finger as I get back up on my feet. “Any requests?”

  “You? Naked?” she asks with the sexy ass smirk she’s perfected since knowing me.

  “Now that I can arrange later, but until then a deli lunch will have to suffice. Lock the door after me and stay where you are. Call me if you need me and I’ll come straight back, okay?”

  “Okay. Stay here. Don’t move. Call if I need you. Check!” she says in a robotic voice, then erupting in a fit of giggles. I open the front door shaking my head, quietly laughing as I close the door behind me, ready to face the throng of reporters outside.

  After getting out the door pretty much unhindered, I race down to the campus café where I order a picnic hamper to pick up. I grab a bottle of wine from the liquor store and head back to our building to set up Elle’s surprise.

  I find Elle on the phone when I get back.

  “Mmm hmm,” she murmurs, looking up and smiling when I walk in. “I see.”

  Dammit! I hate one sided conversations.

  “I see……. Cool……..Yup, I’ll tell him………Miss you too, smartass. Drive safe,” she adds before ending the call and looking over at me with a sly grin. “Where did you get to? And where’s my dinner?”

  “Just had a few errands to run, and dinner is part of your surprise,” I answer, walking over to her and lightly kissing her forehead while I circle my arms around her waist.

  “Well, that was Shay. They’re finished in LA, so they are heading back. Should be here in a few days.”

  “Good news,” I murmur, nuzzling my nose into her soft hair, my senses being filled with her apple scented shampoo. “Did he say what happened?”

  “Not really. You think they had something to do with Uncle Harry being arrested?”

  Shit, why didn’t I think of that?

  “I’d say they had everything to do with it. Victor has been waiting for an opportunity like this to bring Harry Brimstone down.” It all makes sense now. I need to talk to Shay.

  “And before you think of ringing him, Shay said that he’d give you a full debrief when they get back, but to keep alert because it’s not all squared away yet,” she says with a frown, retelling the conversation to me.

  “All good, sweetheart. Now, are you still hungry?” I smirk at her, knowing full well what I’m starting.

  She raises herself up on her toes, gently brushing my lips and scraping her teeth against my bottom lip as she moves away from me. I growl as she releases my lip.

  I watch as her sexy smile grows slowly across her face. She knows what she does to me. Her lips curl up seductively and all rational thought quickly leaves my head.

  “I’m hungry.”

  “How did we go from hot ass kisses that have me thinking of other edible delicacies you can offer me, to food?” I say with a smirk as a blush creeps over her face.

  “Brax!” she admonishes me with a giggle.

  “Actually, we’ll start with food. You can be my dessert,” I grab her around the waist, hooking my other arm around the back of her knees as I lift her up and carry her in my arms through our front door which she skillfully closes behind us. I make my way to the rooftop door, locking it behind us with Elle’s master key I swiped earlier. I don’t want any interruptions. There I no way I’m going to let anyone, or anything, ruin it for us.

  Not tonight. Not ever.

  When we reach the top of the stairs leading to the rooftop, I look up at Brax, and the longing in his eyes does me in. There is nothing I would not do for this man.

  “Are you ready for your surprise, darlin’?” he says quietly, placing a soft kiss on my temple.

  “Always,” I reply.

  He swings the roof door open and carries me through the threshold, turning me around so that I can see what he has done. My mouth drops open and my heart rate increases.

  I’m totally speechless.

  He may have spent the past week proving to me how much our relationship meant to him, but what I see spread out in front of me overshadows all of that ten-fold.

  The three platform benches have been moved away, their cushions set up to make a soft padded blanket the size of a king size bed on the floor. It was the view that sold the building to me. Simply breathtaking. On a clear spring night like tonight, it is indescribable.

  Brax walks over and places me on the cushions. He leans over and stares into my eyes before slowly lowering his body to mine and placing his lips on me. I open to him straight away, and as he strokes my tongue with his, my body instantly warms. I return his kiss with zeal, eagerly matching every movement, every nip of my bottom lip, every exploration of my mouth he makes.

  He breaks away just as our kiss turns from hungry to ravenous, and gives me a tell-tale smirk, showing me he knows exactly what he’s done to me. “You are a tease, Mr. James.”

  “And you, Miss Halliwell, are a minx,” he replies, leaning down to give me a quick hard kiss before pushing himself back to his knees. “Now we eat.”

  I pull myself up, unable to suppress my grin as I look at him. “Yes. Food. Good idea.” I’m trying to catch my breath and ignore the overwhelming urge to tackle him, making him submit to my womanly charms. “Then we’ll get back to our discussion that you so cruelly ended prematurely.”

  “Nothing I do with you will ever end prematurely,” he retorts.

  “Good to hear. I believe it can become a problem the older a man gets,” I say with a wink.

  “Cheeky thing tonight, aren’t ya? Now enough of that disturbing talk. You’ll emasculate me if you keep that up. I got us a hamper from the campus café. Let’s eat.”

  After a thoroughly impressive meal, Brax packs away the food back into the hamper before lying back on the cushions and pulling me into his side. “Was that good Ms. CEO?”

  Gently punching him in his side, I giggle, “It was delicious, Brax. You want to be my new assistant? I promise you that the perks are great.”

  “Is that right? Well, I might need a job if Brimstone’s arrest means you’re no longer a target,” he says solemnly.

  I turn around, lifting myself over his body until I’m straddling his stomach, placing my hands on either side of his head. “Now, listen here. We’re not talking about that tonight. Right now I feel as a safe as I ever could be, but we’re not going to talk about anything else except you.” I lean down to kiss him. “And.” I kiss him again. “Me.” I lean down again, but this time towards his ear. “And there are some things we left unfinished earlier,” I whisper.

  She’s all over the news today.

  Seeing her flawless face all over the TV makes me feel happy.

  It’s been a few months since I’ve seen her face, but after that slimy bastard, Harry Brimstone, was arrested last night she’s been thrust back into the spotlight again, and I’m not complaining one bit.

  I’ve been watching her for four years. Keeping tabs on her and anyone related to her.

  Harry Brimstone is an asshole. After the murders, he was telling anyone who’d listen, “We will not stop until the Halliwell’s murderer is caught.” Then a couple of months later, he had the balls to leave Elise home alone in his giant mansion of his to go on a three week jaunt overseas. I tracked his tickets; he went to Southern France. I wanted to go to her then, but it was too soon. I needed to wait.

  Soon I’ll ha
ve my turn with Elle.

  I can tell my opportunity is getting closer and closer. I thought my time had come when her boyfriend left in the middle of the night with his partner, the one who is always sitting outside the building in the red car, but it wasn’t meant to be.

  I’ve kept my distance, been biding my time. I even stole my neighbor’s car last week just so I wouldn’t be noticed.

  I fucked up when I followed them to Richmond. That boyfriend of hers spotted me, so I had to take off, but I can’t stay away from her. She’s become my life, my obsession, so I left the note on his cocky ass car to scare him off.

  But it didn’t work.

  Since then, she has hardly been alone. Even when she was in hospital, I managed to get into the ICU, parading as an orderly. I got close to her, managed to look into her room while she was out cold, but all I could do was watch her. She was fucking gorgeous when she was sleeping, but I never got my chance again. She was never alone after that because the boyfriend came back.

  Today I’ve been sitting at a park bench down the street; far enough away to get by unnoticed but close enough to see the comings and goings. There have been media everywhere, waiting to see her, but she hasn’t shown. Come to think of it, she hasn’t left the building in the last two days that I’ve been watching her. The boyfriend left for about an hour or so but came back and hasn’t been seen or heard from since.

  I’m not sure how or when I’ll get my time with Elise Halliwell, but it’s been a long time coming. I have all the time in the world if it means being with her, finishing with her.

  Ending it all with her.

  After another two days on the road, Devon and I are more than happy to be home, well back on the East Coast at least. Devon and I are tight, but spending almost thirty hours in a car with a person can make you get sick of the sight of them.

  On the outskirts of town, I grab my phone and send Brax a text.