Lost for You

by BJ Harvey

  Looking around the room, I soon see who has Elle so terrified. It’s the same blonde haired creeper who she confronted in the black Honda all those months ago. He fucking followed us down here.

  “You’re going to fucking regret this, asshole,” I spit out, my anger quickly rising.

  “I see you’ve decided to join us in this trip down memory lane, Brax. You don’t know me, but you soon will. See, Elle and I have been getting to know each other. Well, she’s been getting to know me since I already know everything about her,” he replies, his voice high and excitable.

  This fucker is psychotic, fuck!

  Elle sobs beside me and I instinctually try to comfort her, but all I succeed in doing is rubbing the rope tighter against me. “Mother fucker! If you have done anything to her, you’ll not live to even breathe the same air!” I turn to Elle. “Babe, you just need to block him out, don’t listen.”

  “Now, where were we? Oh yes, the night I decided to dedicate my life to finishing the job. The night when I killed not only your father, like I was paid so handsomely to do, but also ended the lives of your beautiful mother and little sister.”

  Elle gasps again, and my body aches to cover her ears. She doesn’t need to hear any of this. I’ve read the police report on the murders. They weren’t just killed, they were tortured. Stuff so sick that you wonder how a human being can actually do such horrific things, especially to a little girl.

  “You look angry, Brax. Did I say something to upset you?” he says calmly, his voice almost whiny as he moves about the room with his handgun waving around haphazardly.

  “You’re upsetting her,” I say sternly.

  Without warning, the man gets in my face, breathing heavily as he stares straight at me with his ice cold eyes. “I’m upsetting her? I’m not the asshole that left her alone. She didn’t leave her apartment for days. I took my chance, tried to end her pain, but that idiot friend of yours knocked me out before I could end her suffering. She should’ve died that night!”

  He is spitting the words in my face by the end of his rant. I can feel Elle’s body shaking violently beside me now.

  He turns his back and walks around the bed again, leaning down towards Elle. I try and roll my legs over hers as if I have a chance of putting myself between them. “Get your mother fucking crazy hands away from her!” I yell.

  “Temper, temper, Brax. Oh, yes. I forgot about my story. Let’s start from the beginning, shall we. Before we reach the end, together.”

  Elle lets out a painful cry again. This will break her, even if we do get out of this alive. I need to do something, anything. I try to gently move my wrists again, but the rope digs in further with every twist, rubbing harshly against my skin.

  “So, it started when a man approached me in a down and dirty bar in LA. Back then I was dealing drugs, crack mostly, feeding hookers’ and pimps’ habits all around Sunset. He said his name was Vic and that he needed to find a guy to do a job for him. The amount of cash he flashed around caught my eye so I-”

  “Vic? Victor?” I snap at him. “Fucking Victor Bertorelli?”

  “Ah, yes. That sounds like him. Lots of money, too much anger, huge axe to grind with Benjamin Halliwell.”

  “Holy fucking shit! You’re a lying bastard! Vic would never order a hit on women and children!” I twist and turn. This asshole is spouting venomous lies so vicious that he needs to be shut up for good.

  “Oh my god,” Elle gasps, the truth stabbing her like a knife. “Victor wanted my family killed?”

  “Oh no, no, no. Just your father. Your sister and mother...well, they were just for fun. My fun, my amusement. But when I saw your empty room, the one you were meant to be sleeping in that night, I knew that I couldn’t rest easy until you joined them. They’re waiting for you, Elle.”

  Elle starts crying hysterically now. I can see her rocking on her side, and my heart breaks seeing what this vile man is doing to her. I’ve been in tough situations like this before. Ones that seem inevitable, impossible to come out of unscathed, but the moment when he lifts that cold, silver hand gun towards Elle as she cowers in the corner of our bed will forever be burned in my brain.

  She’s bound to the bedpost, no hope of escape, and whimpering as she looks me straight at me with her tear filled eyes. “I love you, Brax. I always will.”

  “Baby, no!” I shout as I move my torso in front of her, my left arm still bound to the headboard, not caring about the cable tie that is ripping through my skin. In this moment, my sole focus is getting any part of my body between that gun and my girl.

  I know Shay and Devon can’t be too far away. I silently pray that they can somehow get here quicker than is humanly possible, it’s the only sliver of hope I have to hold on to, and any hope in a situation like this is something to live for. About an hour ago, I managed to text 911 to Shay behind my back before dropping my phone down the side of the bed, hoping like hell that the text actually went through, and he’ll have called the police ahead of time.

  Silas’ eyes glaze over as he points the gun at Elle. It is like he is almost in a rapturous trance as he prepares to pull the trigger. Ever since I’ve come to, he’s been spouting off words filled with hatred and obsession. Telling us how he’s been waiting for this moment for four years. The stalking, the notes, the sick gifts and family mementos, all tricks in his arsenal. He wanted to scare her, to haunt her, to try and break her until he had the opportunity to take her. He told us all about following her, watching her, watching us. With every day that passed, the deeper his obsession with her became.

  Looking at this desperate man, I know now that he has nothing to lose. He’s set his end goal, and he doesn’t care what happens to him. He wants his obsession to end, and he’s plans on taking Elle and I down with him. Our only hope now is that Shay and Devon get here in time.

  It all happens so quickly.

  The flash of the gun blast, the thud of bodies as they hit the floor, the scream from Elle as she realizes what is happening...and the absolute horror of watching Shay burst into the room and tackle Silas with the gun still clutched in his hands.

  “No!” I yell as I watch Silas and Shay fight for control of the gun on the floor.

  They continue to struggle for a few minutes as they try to overpower the other, Shay never giving up as he tries to pry the gun from Silas’ hands.

  All of a sudden, there are flashing lights, filling the room. Streaming through the window, lighting up the trees surrounding the house...red and blue lights everywhere.

  Silas continues to yell obscenities as he fights with Shay. ‘You can’t stop me!” he shouts. “This is her destiny, my destiny. We can be together, Elle. Together in heaven, with your parents. With your sister. She looked so peaceful as she slept, almost angelic.”

  I pull Elle tighter into my stretched body, murmuring reassuringly in her ear as she sobs into my side. “Block him out, sweetheart. Think of something good. Picture our walk along the beach today. Remember our normal day in the City. Focus on that.”

  I try to shield Elle from the horrific sight behind us. She does need to see this. She’s been through enough in the past four years, and I don’t want her haunted by what happens should this go horribly wrong.

  I’m struck with fear, caught in no man’s land; not being able to help, and not knowing if the help outside can get here quick enough to stop the inevitable.

  Yet deep down in my soul I know that someone is going to die tonight. I’m just praying to god it’s Silas.

  My body goes rigid when I hear the handgun go off behind my back, the blast echoing through the room. The sudden deathly silence is broken when the gun goes off, again and again. Then, all I can hear is the thumping footsteps outside the room, in the hallway outside the bedroom door. I hear the front door of the cabin being barged open, the splintering of the wood unmistakable just as much as Devon’s voice calling out my name.

  This can’t be happening.

  It’s my nightmare come true except
Brax is sheltering me, his whole body draped over mine as he shields me from Silas’ wrath.

  I scream when I hear the gun go off. I know I haven’t been shot; I could never forget the burning sensation when a bullet rips through you. I wrap my free hand around Brax’s neck to make sure he’s still alive. My fingers are on his pulse point as he lifts his eyes to mine, and his eyes are wide and full of fear as he stares at me, tears welling up in our eyes as we lock onto one another.

  The deathly silence consuming the room fills me with dread because I know that no sound means no life. No sound means that Shay is down.

  “I need you to close your eyes, baby,” Brax whispers. “Don’t you dare open them until I say,” he says firmly, his voice dripping in sadness. Deep down, I know he’s expecting the worst when he rolls over.

  “Brax,” I hear Shay rasp from the darkness. The constant flickering of red and blue outside of the window lights the room up slightly, but not enough to see anything clearly.

  Brax rolls over, his arm still tied to the headboard.

  I hear him gasp. “Shit, man,” his voice cracks.

  I squeeze my eyes tighter. Hearing Brax sound like that means I really don’t want to see the scene behind us.

  I roll over and see Silas with a bullet to his chest. He’s on his back, his lifeless eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling, not moving. It was an instant kill; I can see the gun still in his hand. He must have gotten a shot off, though, because there were three shots.

  I look over at Shay. “Shit, man.” All I can see is blood gushing out from his abdomen. “It’ll… be…. okay…” he splutters out, wincing in pain as the blood pools underneath him, but I can’t reach him, I yank my wrist from the headboard, but it just makes the cable tie cut in further.

  “I can’t move!” I say angrily. I can’t even go help him, stem the bleeding somehow. Give him a fighting chance like he just gave us.

  “It’s okay, Brax. It’s my time,” he rasps. I can see his chest rising and falling slowly, his breathing slowing down as his heart rate drops. He’s not gonna make it. He’s not gonna fucking make it.

  And it’s all my fault.

  I reach my hand out again, just wanting to touch him. No one should die without being held by someone. “Grab my hand, Shay!” I shout in desperation, he barely lifts his hand before I grab on to it tight.

  “Stay with me, bro! You fight this! Don’t you fucking give up on me!” I shout at him as I see his eyes go half closed.

  “She’s waiting for me. I’ll finally get to see her again, Brax. It’s… my… time,” he whispers, his voice getter weaker.

  “Shay, you fucking stay with me! She will wait a little longer for you. Dammit, Shay! Fuck!” I feel his hand go limp in mine as he slips out of consciousness.

  “Help! Somebody help! Man down! Fucking help! Someone!” I yell as police storm through the bedroom door. I feel the tears stinging my cheeks.

  “Stay still!” I hear a man shout to me as he reaches down and takes Silas’ pulse.

  “Gone,” he says before moving over to Shay’s lifeless body. He leans down to feel his pulse, shaking his head to his colleague before he sees me clutching on to Shay’s limp hand.

  “You need to let him go,” the officer says as I shake my head, unable to talk. I watch him lean down and hold two fingers to Shay’s neck again, shaking his head as he carefully rises back to his feet. “He’s gone, sir. You have to let him go now,” he says again, his low calming tone pissing me off.

  “No! Help him! He’s not gone. He can’t be gone!” I shout at him, my voice losing strength. I hear Elle sob loudly behind me.

  I look back over at her. She lifts her head and opens her eyes, fixing her gaze on me, tears streaming down her face.

  “He’s gone, baby,” she whispers, barely able to be heard as she reaches her free hand out to me, her right hand still bound to the headboard.

  “Cut them free!” Devon yells, pushing his way past the officers and running into the room, coming to a standstill when he sees the bloody scene confronting him. “Holy shit. Brax? Elle?”

  He pushes past the two cops in the room and comes to my side, pulling out a Stanley knife from his pocket and cutting the rope that binds me to the headboard.

  I hold my hand out to him. “I’ll free her,” I say as he places it in my hand and I reach over to free Elle from her binds. Dropping the knife on the bed, I pull her into my arms and onto the bed. She wraps her arms around me as I bury my face into her hair, sobbing for the man we’ve both just lost.

  A brother, a partner, a best friend.

  We sit like that, clinging to each other on the bed for what seems like hours. There is movement around us, but neither of us can move. Devon stands against the wall, his head dropped to his chest, not saying a word. It’s like we’re all stuck there, in that room, our prison cell, on a night that will forever be etched in our nightmares.

  Realizing that our nightmare may now be over, but the heartache and loss has just begun.

  It’s another warm sunny spring day in the South.

  I’m sitting on a park bench looking over at Elle. She is just as breathtaking as she was six years ago when I forced myself into her life. Her hair is still a gorgeous deep brown, her porcelain skin is ageless, and that body of hers still cuts me to the quick every time.

  She’s standing by the fountain in the waterfront park in Charleston, intently watching over our three year old son. I smile at the joy I see on both their faces as the water starts gushing out, almost getting Elle, and definitely splashing our little boy who is shrieking with delight. Her smile is huge, as it always is whenever she looks at him.

  Our lives have been a hell of a lot calmer in the past five years. We could never forget those that we have lost but thanks to the events of that time, I’m closer to Devon and Sylvia than I ever have been. I have Elle to thank for all of that. Her strength and determination along with her belief in family and her unwavering love for me, has brought us all here. And of course, none of us would be here today if it wasn’t for my best friend giving up his life for us.

  After we gave our statements to the police, and Shay’s body was wrapped up in the cold black body bag and wheeled away on a gurney, I asked to speak to the officer in charge.

  Standing to the side, leaving Devon to hold Elle who was in shock and shaking uncontrollably, I proceeded to tell the detective who I was, who I used to work for, who my father was, and explained in detail everything that Silas told us about the Halliwells’ murders and how Victor Bertorelli had ordered the hit.

  Three days later, we got a phone call from the detective advising us that Victor had been arrested and charged with conspiracy to commit murder. Sylvia flew in the next day having seen the news, and never returned to the West Coast.

  It went some way to easing the guilt I felt but it took a long time for me to come to terms with Shay’s death. We’d been through so much together; basic training in the Army, our discharge and the sudden decline and death of Roger. Then, he’d helped me try to deal with the overwhelming debts, even coming with me to work for Victor.

  Elle quickly made peace with what happened. Don’t get me wrong, there were many nights that we clung to each other, Shay’s loss and my guilt threatening to swallow me whole. But just like how I helped keep Elle’s nightmares at bay, Elle showed me that we could honor Shay in so many other ways. That his death did not need to be in vain. And ultimately, he was now back with his one true love, the woman that captured his heart and saved his life. He put himself between that life ending bullet and the woman I love. The ultimate sacrifice, one that I’ve struggled to come to terms with while also being eternally grateful for.

  Elle finished college two years later, just a month before we eloped and a month to the day that we found out that we were expecting our first child.

  Our wedding was in a word, a once in a lifetime event. And it doesn’t matter how staunch you think you are, hearing the woman you love devote her life to yo
u, in front of family and friends, will bring any man to his knees. The emotion of the moment consumed us both as we vowed to have and to hold, to death do till us part.

  We held the ceremony in Hawaii on a private beach with the softest sand at a beachfront resort. We had both lost so much that we wanted our day to be just for us and our close family. Since we’d never been to Hawaii, we decided to start the rest of our lives together with a new memory. We knew that Shay would be with us wherever we were, even if it was only in spirit.

  As part of the ceremony, we set a lantern alight and placed a lei around it before setting it off to sea. The winds picked up then suddenly died down, a sign that he was right there with us. The belief is that when the wind stirs at a wedding, it signifies the presence of family who can’t be with you physically, but continue to surround you with their love, support and blessing. We were both in tears as we set Shay’s memory away from us, knowing that he’d be forever in our hearts.

  I get up from the seat and walk over towards my little family, wrapping my arms around my wife’s waist as I lean down and kiss her forehead gently. “You’re glowing, my little minx,” I say with a smirk.

  “I’d hope so, babe. You’re the one who’s made me this way,” she says, rubbing the swell of her pregnant belly with her hand.

  My eyes follow her hand and I chuckle as I see a sudden jolt beneath her touch, making Elle gasp in delight. “Whoa, she’s feisty this little girl of ours.”

  “If she’s anything like her mother, she’s bound to be downright trouble,” I reply, unable to hold back a laugh.

  “Watch it, mister. I have no doubt that she’ll have you wrapped around her little finger is no time,” Elle replies.