Flame (Bearpaw Ridge Firefighters Book 4)

by Ophelia Sexton

  The other woman, listed as Margaret Swanson, had shoulder-length straight brown hair heavily frosted with gray, and a smooth complexion bare of any makeup. Crow's feet at the corners of her eyes and the smile lines bracketing her mouth made her look like someone who might make you a cup of coffee and serve you warm cookies fresh out of the oven.

  Elle and Margaret looked like sisters—they had the same elegant oval faces and straight noses. Identical dimples framed their smiles.

  And both were strangers to him.

  For the first time since his accident, Thor was struck by the full implications of his amnesia. Up until just now, he'd mostly considered it an inconvenience to his efforts to stay out of the hospital and with Cassie.

  But now… He reached out with his left hand and gently tapped Elle's photo to enlarge it. Then he did the same to Margaret's photo, hoping to feel something, anything.

  One of these two women might be his mother. And he felt nothing.

  An unaccustomed feeling of panic squeezed his chest as moments passed, and he realized that no matter how hard he stared at the photos, all he felt was a blank space. Not even a hint of any emotional association with either picture.

  The smiling, clean-shaven man who appeared when Thor scrolled further down the page was familiar only in the sense that he resembled the man that Thor had seen in the bathroom mirror just a short while ago. Same hazel eyes and dark hair as Thor, minus the beard.

  Dane Swanson, who the hell are you? My older brother? Younger brother? Cousin?

  The squeezing feeling intensified as Thor scrolled back to the top of the page. Elle Swanson. Mom?

  Nothing.

  Back down to Margaret's photo. He stared at it with an intensity that felt like laser beams were shooting out of his eyes and might melt the phone's screen.

  Still nothing…

  Oh God, I'm broken. Really fucking broken.

  Caught up in his internal crisis, he barely registered the scrape of Cassie's chair against the floorboards.

  "Thor?" she asked, and he felt her warm hands settle lightly on his shoulders. He instantly began to feel better. "Are you okay?"

  "Ye—" he began to answer automatically.

  Cassie's hands tightened, and he remembered that it was difficult to lie to a fellow shifter.

  "No. I'm not okay," he admitted in a low, hoarse voice. "Because who the hell can't recognize their own mom?"

  "Oh, Thor. I'm so sorry." She hesitated before continuing. "Are you sure you don't want me to drive you to the hospital? There's one in Aspen; it's not too far away."

  The thought of her leaving him at the hospital and driving away, out of his life, felt like a red-hot spike driven through his chest. And the panic came roaring back, full force.

  Trying to fake a calm that he most definitely wasn't feeling right now, Thor put the phone down next to his plate. "What? Having second thoughts about going on a road trip with me?"

  He tried to keep his tone light, but it was impossible to hide his hammering pulse or the change in his scent from Cassie.

  "Are you kidding me?" Her arms slid around him, and he felt the soft mounds of her breasts pressing against his shoulders. "You volunteered to be my bodyguard, big guy. Don't try backing out now that I've cooked you breakfast!"

  Her tone was bantering as she played along, helping him save face. And her scent surrounded him, calming him. He raised his left hand and laced his fingers through hers.

  "You know," he said seriously. "When I suggested going to Bearpaw Ridge, it was mostly bullshit to keep Kara and Dr. Chang from hustling me off in that helicopter. But now I'm wondering if going home might really help me remember." He shook his head in frustration. "But how the hell do I know which one of these people to call? What if my mom isn't at the ranch at all and is actually the woman who runs that bakery, or something?"

  He felt Cassie's chin rest lightly on top of his head as she stared down at the smartphone.

  "Maybe you should just call the ranch's main number, tell them who you are, and see what happens?" she suggested.

  Her calm practicality helped him snap out of his spiraling vortex of anxiety.

  Thor let out a breath. "That's not a bad idea. Fake it 'til I make it? It seemed to work with Kara…"

  Cassie's sigh ruffled his hair in a gentle caress. "Why fake anything? Be honest about what's going on with you. It's not like your mom or anyone can force you to go to the hospital, and especially not if they're in Idaho and you're here," she pointed out.

  "Good point," Thor conceded.

  "I'll dial for you." Cassie gave his hand a quick, reassuring squeeze before she disentangled her fingers and reached over him for the phone.

  Thor sat back in his chair and concentrated on enjoying the sensation of having her nestle the back of his head in her warm, generous cleavage as she tapped the number listed on the ranch's website.

  He heard the line ringing, and then Cassie handed him the phone. He took it, trying to pretend that he felt calm and cool.

  "Grizzly Creek Ranch, this is Elle Swanson. How may I help you today?" Elle's voice exploded across his senses like warm honey, rich and sweet.

  He knew that voice, even if he couldn't remember how he knew it.

  "Hey," he said, and his voice sounded choked. He remembered that he was on Cassie's phone, with her Caller ID. So he swallowed hard and said, "It's Thor."

  He waited, hoping against hope that he and Cassie had dialed the correct Swanson residence. What if Elle Swanson had no idea who he was?

  "Thor!" At the note of incredulous joy in Elle's voice, something that had been clenched like a fist inside Thor's gut relaxed. "Are you all right, honey? I saw the news last night, and I didn't know what to think." Her voice cracked on that last word.

  Thor breathed out a sigh of relief. Elle knew him!

  "I'm sorry. I got knocked around pretty good yesterday. But I'm okay." Cassie poked him, and he hastily amended. "Mostly okay. Doctor says I'll heal up completely in a week or two."

  "Oh, honey," Elle sighed, and an accusing note crept into her voice. "The only reason I knew something had happened to you was because Caitlyn called me to tell me that she'd seen the story come in over her newsfeed."

  Who's Caitlyn?

  "Um," Thor said uncomfortably. "Look, I hit my head pretty hard, and…well, I've got some holes in my memory."

  Elle was silent.

  "Are you my mother?" Thor blurted and felt Cassie wince.

  "What did you say?" Elle snapped. She didn't give him time to speak as her voice rose indignantly. "Is this another one of your stupid practical jokes? Because if it is, so help me God, Thor, I'll—"

  "Look, I'm not trying to prank you. Honest," Thor interrupted. "I hit a tree yesterday, hard enough to crack my helmet. I've really got amnesia. And a couple of broken bones."

  And what kind of an asshole am I, that my own mother thinks I'd make up some bullshit story?

  He recalled Kara's cryptic comments about his relationship with his mother, and his heart sank.

  He heard the woman on the other end of the line inhale sharply. "You—you're not joking? Really?" She still sounded skeptical.

  "No, he's not," Cassie said, knowing that Elle could hear her. "He really should be at the hospital right now, getting an MRI, but he's really stubborn and keeps insisting that he's okay."

  "Who's that?" Elle asked immediately.

  "A friend," Thor said. "She's the one who found your number. And I'm sorry if my question sounded like a bad joke. But I really do want to know if you're my mother. And if you're not, can you tell me who is? I saw that there are other Swansons in town: Margaret, Caitlyn. Annabeth. Any of them?"

  He was halfway to convincing himself that he'd been wrong about his initial reaction to Elle's voice when she said, "Honey, of course I'm your mom. And if you're lying to me about having amnesia, so help me God…"

  "I'm not lying," Thor assured Elle. His mom. "And I was wondering if it's okay if I came home for a visit?
I'm on medical leave right now and was hoping that maybe being back in familiar surroundings will jog my memories."

  "Of course! I know we've had our differences, but this will always be your home, Thor. And I'll always be happy to see you." He heard the echo of old pain in Elle's voice and wondered what had happened between them.

  "When do you think you'll be arriving here?" Elle continued. "Do you need me to come pick you up at the Missoula Airport? And I want to invite everyone over for dinner. We've all been so worried ever since we heard about your accident."

  "I'm not quite sure when we'll be there. Maybe three or four days," Thor said. "My friend's driving me."

  "Driving?" Elle sounded incredulous. "Why on earth are you driving? If you're short of money, I'll buy you a plane ticket."

  "My entire leg is in a cast, and I don't want to cram myself in an airline seat," Thor explained. "Plus I'd still have to sit in a car for a few hours getting from the Missoula Airport to Bearpaw Ridge. I figured that if we drove, we could stop somewhere whenever things got uncomfortable."

  "And is your new friend, ah, one of us?" Elle asked in a very carefully circumspect tone, because she now knew that Cassie was listening in.

  "Yeah, she's a shifter." He noticed that Cassie had gone still again.

  "Oh good," Elle said warmly. "What lineage?"

  Thor felt Cassie's stillness transition to rigidity and knew she was wondering whether he'd call her out on her earlier lie.

  "Cougar," he told his mother, very firmly. "She's been having some personal issues and needs to get out of the Denver area for a while."

  "Well, she's very welcome to stay here in one of our B&B suites. Steffi and Evan have just finished renovating their house here on the ranch, and they're still living in Annabeth's old apartment in town. So perhaps your friend could stay there. She'd be the only guest, in case she's worried about having privacy." Elle paused. "You could stay at Evan's place, too. There are plenty of guest suites, and your house is rented out for the summer to a family from Seattle."

  "My…house?" Thor asked blankly.

  I'm a homeowner? That seemed awfully…settled…for a smokejumper. A bachelor smokejumper, he hoped.

  "Yes. You might not remember, but when you moved to Denver, you made an arrangement with your Aunt Margaret about letting us use your place as a vacation rental while you were working out-of-state."

  Thor didn't remember, but it was nice to hear that he actually owned a house somewhere and wasn't necessarily living from paycheck to paycheck.

  He wasn't sure how much smokejumpers were paid, but given that he was a US Forest Service employee and worked for the government, he figured that he could probably use the extra money from a rental property.

  "We're splitting the profit with you," his mother added hastily.

  "So, um, I was wondering…am I married? Or seriously involved with anyone?" Thor was almost afraid to hear the answer, with Cassie hovering so close, comforting him with her touch.

  There was a long pause on the other end of the line. "You really do have amnesia, don't you?" Elle said, as if she finally believed him. She gave a short laugh. "No. You're single and long overdue for a mate, if you ask me. Dare I hope…?"

  "We only met yesterday," Thor said quickly, before his mother could put them all in an uncomfortable position. Bad enough that Kara had jumped to conclusions yesterday afternoon!

  "I see," Elle said, sounding thoughtful. "Well, drive safely and please call me with updates. I'll make sure to let your Aunt Margaret know you're coming, so that she can prep a couple of the rooms at Evan's place."

  "Thanks," Thor said. Then spurred by the dark suspicion that he might not have been the nicest guy in the past, he added, "And I'm really sorry for whatever I did or said the last time we talked."

  "Oh, honey." His mother's voice sounded really sad. "It was nothing. Just two stubborn people butting heads."

  Somehow, Thor didn't believe her.

  Elle continued, "I love you, Thor, and I'm so glad you're coming home."

  Thor ended the call with a promise to update his mother with their progress. Then he sat back with a deep sigh, letting his head rest against Cassie's soft curves.

  "Are you okay?" she asked, giving him a quick hug.

  He sighed. "It sucks not being able to remember if you were a jerk to your own mother."

  It wasn't until later that he realized he had completely forgotten to ask his mother what shifter lineage they belonged to.

  * * *

  They packed up and hit the road shortly after breakfast, departing later than Cassie had planned but before any unwelcome visitors showed up.

  She'd been keeping a nervous ear out for the sound of approaching vehicles on the road since finishing her shower, filled with dread at the thought that Baldwin or some of his flunkies might be on their way.

  Cassie knew she was being paranoid—even assuming that Baldwin had caught the first flight out of Austin to Denver this morning, it would still take him several hours to drive from Denver out to her refuge deep in the White River National Forest.

  When she had settled Thor into her car, pushing the front passenger seat all the way back so that he could stretch out his long legs, she drove as cautiously as she could down the ten miles of narrow, bumpy gravel road that led from her cabin to the highway.

  She and Thor stopped in the tiny town of Cougar Creek long enough for Cassie to pick up her final paycheck from Ted and for Thor to buy the things he'd need for their road trip.

  Ted emerged from the kitchen as she entered the diner, which had been built as an homage to a 1950s burger joint with lots of chrome, a black-and-white tiled floor, and booths upholstered in red vinyl.

  A classic rock-and-roll soundtrack always played over the speakers, and right now, Elvis was crooning "Can't Help Falling in Love," a song that Cassie had always liked.

  "I'm gonna miss you, kiddo," the big, gray-bearded man boomed over the music, unexpectedly giving her a big hug.

  She couldn't help stiffening in alarm as he wrapped his heavily tattooed arms around her.

  But Ted's scent didn't smell of anger or anything beyond the normal level of sexual desire of a straight man in the presence of a fertile woman, so she forced herself to relax and return the hug.

  "I'm going to miss you too. Thanks for giving me a job when I really needed one, Ted," she said and kissed him on the cheek.

  The soft bristle of his beard against her lips felt wrong, as did being embraced by a man who…wasn't Thor.

  Uh oh. It hasn't even been a full day, and I've already got it bad for Thor.

  So why did that realization make her want to smile?

  Apparently unaware of her sudden discomfort, Ted laughed and affectionately ruffled her hair as he stepped back. She had gathered it up in a loose ponytail this morning and fastened it with a big metal clip at the nape of her neck.

  "You worked your ass off, kiddo, and we both know it. Now you're running off with that studly firefighter over there," he jerked his chin in the direction of Cassie's car, where Thor was waiting for her, "and I'll never see you again."

  "We're just friends," she protested, even as her face heated up with the memory of Thor's amazing kiss.

  "You keep telling yourself that, kiddo." Ted grinned down at her. "And you tell him that if he breaks your heart, I'll break him."

  That made her laugh. "Glad to know you're looking out for me."

  "Always, kiddo. You work at my diner, you're family." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper.

  So what if Ted was just an Ordinary? It felt good to realize that someone had been looking out for her during the weeks that she'd been house-sitting and working here.

  "Thanks for everything, Ted," Cassie said, and she meant it.

  He handed her the paper, which turned out to be her paycheck, and hugged her again.

  This time, she returned the hug without hesitation.

  When she emerged from the diner, Thor wa
s still where she'd left him, leaning against her car.

  Luckily, she had found a pair of baggy gray men's sweatpants at the cabin, since the cargo pants he'd been wearing yesterday didn't fit over his leg cast. He was wearing his Rocky Mountain Hot Shots T-shirt, and his right arm was in the sling that Betsy had given him.

  And now he was surrounded by a small crowd of people, mostly women. As Cassie crossed the street, she saw that Thor was smiling and shaking hands with everyone like a celebrity.

  She reminded herself that he was a celebrity. Most of the people who lived in this area had probably seen Thor on the news last night.

  "—totally my hero, and thank you so much," gushed one teenaged girl.

  She was maybe fourteen or fifteen and wearing a little too much eyeliner. She was also clutching Thor's left hand in what looked like a death grip.

  Thor's smile was warm and kind as he thanked the girl, but the glance he threw in Cassie's direction as she approached held a hint of desperation.

  He knocked her for a loop when he announced loudly, "Hey, and there's my girlfriend. Everyone, this is Cassie."

  Girlfriend? What the hell?

  But damned if Cassie didn't like the sound of that. She wouldn't mind being his girlfriend, she thought wistfully.

  With a stricken look, the teenager dropped Thor's hand so fast it might have been red-hot, and stepped back, her face redder than a sunburn

  Cassie felt sorry for the girl, remembering what it was like to be that awkward age and in the presence of a sexy older man.

  Thor held out his good arm invitingly. Cassie raised an inquiring brow at Thor, but let him gather her in as he addressed his impromptu fan club.

  "Hey, I really appreciate the good wishes, guys. We have a couple of errands to run, and then we should be hitting the road…right?" He looked at her.

  Cassie nodded, torn between feeling flustered and amused at his ruse.

  Her arm around his waist, she helped him limp over to the Cougar Creek General Store, where he quickly picked out a selection of T-shirts, underwear, and other items he'd need for their trip north to Idaho.