Magic of the Wood House

by Cassandra Gannon

“Not to mention my doting Match.” Djinn sent Pele a fond look. “I don’t just love her for her incredible body, let me tell you. The woman is an artist. I seen her skin a man with a paperclip.” He nodded. “True story.”

  Pele smiled. “Our honeymoon.” She let out a reminiscing sigh. “Good times.”

  “And there’s my little cousin Hope, pregnant with a child who already controls vast portions of our universe. Plus, Hope’s the only Star Phase who’s ever been found.” Djinn paused. “Maybe you guys didn’t know that.”

  No, they hadn’t known that. Fierce whispering filled the hall.

  “Did you ever see a Star Phase in a battle? It’s un-fucking-believeable.” Djinn adopted an eager expression. “Hey, somebody piss her off, just for fun. I dare ya. It’s goddamn hilarious to watch the carnage she can create.”

  “That’s very flattering, Djinn.” Hope said sweetly.

  No one volunteered to be Hope’s victim, so Djinn went on. “Finally, there’s me and Teja.” He shrugged, exactly like his grandfather would’ve. “Me? I’m a simple, peace-loving guy. You all know that.”

  “Djinn, you are under oath.” Job reminded him, trying not to smile.

  Djinn ignored the interruption. “Teja, on the other hand… I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love the girl. But, she’s a vengeful bitch, with more power than pretty much any Elemental ever born.” He shook his head sadly. “She isn’t going to take this Banishment thing well.” He paused, his voice getting colder. “I don’t think any of us are taking it well.”

  “I’m definitely not taking it well.” Qadesh intoned, scanning around the room like he was memorizing faces for his future hit list.

  Phases cast sideways looks at each other, wondering who would be the first to die.

  “You just can’t come in here and threaten us!” Eian bellowed.

  “I’m not threatening.” Djinn lifted his hands innocently. “I’m just being up front about my concerns. Maybe I could preach restraint to my family, but --realistically-- it’s probably not going to happen. We can all be a little bit crazy. You can’t reason with crazy.” That was a direct Oberon quote, a man who was never quite as crazy as he pretended. “So, I think it’s my responsibility to warn all of ya: If you vote to Banish us… you’re going to have a real short New Year.”

  Dead silence followed that threat.

  Job cleared his throat. “I don’t think Banishment will be necessary.” He put in, trying to lessen the strong arm tactics. “As I’ve been saying all along, the evidence against the Fire House is inconclusive.”

  “I said that, too.” Herod, of the Gravity House squeaked, his panicked gaze on Djinn. “We should just vote to let them go.”

  Eian was furious at the Herod’s sudden change in mood. Until five minutes ago, the Gravity Phase had been all for Banishment. “We should execute them for this outrage!”

  Djinn pointed at Kingu, again. “Immortal.” He reiterated. “Also, you probably don’t want to kill all the Fire Phases left in the world. It might get a little chilly.”

  Pele snickered at that.

  “Eian give it a rest.” Nia, of the Shadow House rolled her eyes. “You know they’re innocent. If the Fire House wanted to destroy the Cold Kingdom, they wouldn’t have stopped with just the palace. It would be a wasteland.”

  Alder smiled, as if imagining that picturesque scene.

  “Also, since when do the Fire Phases plan attacks?” Nia went on. “They don’t carefully rig bombs, for Gaia’s sake. People just get in their way and they’re stabbed a bunch of times.” She shook her head at Eian. “Honestly, you should have just listened to Job and saved us all hours of our day.”

  “Agreed.” Gion, of the Water House nodded. The Water House and Shadow House always voted together and they nearly always voted with Job. “Not that I wouldn’t jump at the chance to Banish Djinn, but I’ve seen that footage from the Cold Kingdom. There are two Tejas running around at the end of it. Obviously, someone set the Fire House up.”

  Other Houses started loudly disagreeing with that assessment. Gion was hated enough that a sizable number of Phases would loudly disagree if he said water was wet.

  “Of course you’d side with murderers!” Anton, of the Dust House shouted. “You’re just like them, Gion. A fucking plague on civilized people. It’s a travesty that you aren’t being Banished, too.”

  Gion smirked. “I guess it’s just a matter of time until someone barrows my handsome face and bombs something, then. Personally, I’m hoping my imposter gets you. It would make getting ‘framed’ almost worth it.” He added air-quotes to the word.

  Anton’s eyes widened at the warning.

  “Gion’s one of Job’s favorites.” Eian interjected, with a pointed look around. “The Water House, the Shadow House, the Magnet House, the Fire House… They’re all protected. We all know nothing happens to Job’s favorites, no matter how many laws they break.”

  Job’s eyebrow rose at the idea of Djinn being one of his favorites.

  Mara, Queen of the Magnet House cleared her throat. “If the Fire House had bombed the Cold Kingdom, I believe they’d admit it.” She said and everyone paid attention. Mara was universally loved. She’d been sitting on the Council for several weeks now and people fell all over themselves to listen to her every word. “They have done questionable things in the past, but they’ve never lied about them. On the contrary, they always seem quite proud of their criminal accomplishments.”

  “That’s a good point.” Alder nodded. “If we’d done this, we’d be happy about it. We don’t like him.” He gestured towards Eian. “The guy’s a dick.”

  “Seconded.” Frankie raised a palm.

  Eian wasn’t about to make an enemy of Mara --the woman was untouchable-- but he clearly wasn’t happy about her dissent. “They’re gangsters. Who knows why they do what they do?”

  “Well, without knowing the facts, how do you expect us to vote to Banish them?” Mara shook her dark head. “There isn’t enough evidence. It’s not right.”

  “You know what’s not right.” Eian hissed out through clenched teeth. “My palace being reduced to a fucking puddle!”

  At least a dozen Houses frowned at him for swearing at the Magnet Queen.

  Job picked up his coffee mug. Nia was his nephew Cross’s Match and she’d given it to him when she became pregnant. It featured a gaggle of baby ducks and the words “World’s Best Uncle-To-Be.”

  “Eian, what were you doing in the Agora today?” He asked calmly. There was no way Job would allow this Banishment to happen, but he’d prefer to let Eian screw it up himself. Stopping the Fire House’s trial by force would just lead to more acrimony on all sides. Better to give Eian enough rope to hang himself. “I checked into it and it seems that you were supposed to be at meetings in the Cold Palace all day.”

  Djinn looked at him sharply, realizing that Job believed him about Eian setting all this up.

  “Thanks Gaia I had a last minute change of plans.” Eian adjusted his cufflinks.

  Job settled back in his chair. “Yes. It was… miraculous.”

  Eian’s eyes narrowed. “You think I had something to do with the attack? Need I remind you that my sister is still missing?”

  “I also checked that. Freya wasn’t supposed to be in the Cold Kingdom, either.”

  Eian started to snap a reply, but he was interrupted when the double-doors at the back of the Council Hall slammed open. The assembly let out a startled gasp as they realized who’d arrived. Teja and Sullivan stood there, along with Freya and all five of the Light Phases. None of them looked happy.

  Eian paled like he’d seen a ghost.

  Job’s mouth slowly curved.

  “Hey, Tej.” Djinn shouted without bothering to turn around. “Glad you could finally join the party.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  There has been an element [here] hostile to me from the first,

  and during your trial and sentence these persons have used every effort


  to spread a feeling against me.

  Hamlin Garland- "The Eagle's Heart"

  Christmas Evening

  Teja watched as her Match faced down the Council of All Houses.

  Half the room refused to believe a word the Fire Phases said. Half were eager to blame Eian for everything. With the Council at an impasse, all eyes went to Sullivan to break the tie. He was the only thing the majority of Elementals could agree on. Not even the most cynical observers doubted the word of a Wood Phase. Their House had always been the hopelessly moral and Sullivan himself was at the top of every Elemental popularity poll.

  Whichever side he supported would win and it was pretty clear who her Match liked best. He was standing in front of the Fire Phases, like he was protecting them. Which he sort of was.

  Teja’s mouth curved.

  Sullivan was treating the Council Hall like it was any other human courtroom. It occurred to Teja that he was probably the most qualified person here to deal with criminal trials. Being a cop, he probably did stuff like this every week. It didn’t intimidate him, at all. But, then nothing intimidated Sullivan Pryce.

  “At that point, I realized that there were two sets of Fire Phases.” He said, his eyes on Job. “I made the statement that I believed they were being framed. I could identify physical differences between the real Fire Phases and the fake ones. Also, they used weapons that the actual Fire House wouldn’t need to commit arson.”

  “They were tricking you!” Eian thundered. “You’re a child. You cannot…”

  Sullivan cut him off. “Most tellingly, I was standing with the real Fire Phases, while they were watching the imposters on TV. They couldn’t be in two places at once. It’s empirical fact that there were two sets of Fire Phases.” His voice was emphatic. “A fact you well know, Eian, since you told me you were working with Vandal and planning something like this.”

  All eyes went to Eian.

  The Cold King swallowed, realizing Sullivan had his memories back. “He’s just a human.” He desperately looked around for support. “The boy has no idea what he’s saying.”

  “He appears cognizant to me.” Gion drawled. “Personally, I have no use for that human, but I’ve always found him to be drearily forthright.”

  Sullivan flashed Gion a glare. The two of them had never gotten alone, because Teja’s Match had excellent taste.

  Except in furniture.

  “The Fire House brainwashed him.” Eian insisted, his eyes still cutting around the room and finding nothing but closed faces. “They’ve somehow convinced him to invent this story.”

  “It’s quite a story for them to concoct.” Cam, of the Heat House drawled. He glanced at Djinn. “I’ve never known you to be such a gifted weaver of tales. Unless you count the Penthouse Forum shit.”

  “Hey, that all fucking happened.” Djinn retorted. “Ask Pele.”

  “Gion’s right.” Ty, of the Water House put in from the gallery, agreeing with her Match and sparing them all from endless recitations of Djinn and Pele’s sexploits. Ty hated public speaking, but she apparently liked Sullivan enough to speak up on his behalf. “I mean, not the ‘dreary’ part, but Sullivan Pryce is always very honest.” She nodded. “He’s my friend. I know him and I guarantee he has not been mind-controlled. I don’t think he could be mind-controlled, actually. He’s far too obstinate.”

  Sullivan sent Ty a half smile.

  Teja rolled her eyes towards to the ceiling. Why did her Match have to have such a huge fan club of pretty girls? Granted, Sullivan’s popularity was about to save the Fire Houses’ necks, but it still got old. Especially, since Teja’s hold on him was so sketchy. Until she figured out a way to Phaze with Sullivan, he could still slip away. It all went back to the trust thing. If she could just get Sullivan to trust her, he’d see what was already so damn clear.

  They belonged together.

  “If Sullivan hasn’t been brainwashed, then he’s lying.” Eian tried frantically. “He’s trying to protect Teja and he’s willing to perjure himself to do it.”

  “You’re the one who’s lying, spiteful son-of-a-bitch!” Melanie snapped.

  “The boy is Parson’s grandson.” Abram, of the Wood House thundered at the same time. “He’s the direct decedent one of our greatest warriors. No one would doubt his word.”

  “Well, Eian isn’t a liar, either.” Freya objected and then paused, shooting her brother a suspicious frown. “At least, not usually.”

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?!” He bellowed back.

  “You tell me, Eian.”

  The Hall descended to shouting for the fiftieth time that day.

  “This is the best trial I’ve ever had.” Alder stage-whispered at Teja. “But, only my second best Christmas.”

  “Third best.” Missy corrected. “Remember that time with Frankie in New Jersey.”

  Alder’s face spread into a delighted grin. “When we crossed the Delaware and fought beside those Hessian dudes? Yeah, that was awesome.”

  “No, we killed the Hessians.” Pele corrected. “Until that dipshit Washington took the rest of them prisoner.” She snorted. “Frankie just looooved Washington. Gods knows why. The Redcoats were way better dressers.”

  “They both liked little horses.” Hope reminded her over Satour’s snoring. “They saw them at the circus together that time.”

  “That was with Lincoln.” Pele frowned. “I think. All those president guys look the same. Except the cute one.” She sent Djinn a sideways glare.

  “I did not shoot Kennedy!” Djinn roared, anticipating her next remark. “How many times do I have to tell you that, huh?!”

  Pele sniffed, unconvinced.

  Kingu disregarded all of them, flipping through a baby name book. “What about ‘Kingina’ for our daughter, Hope?”

  “Is that even a name?” Qadesh demanded skeptically. “I don’t think that’s a name.”

  Alder squinted in deep concentration. “Wait, we were supposed to be on the Americans’ side of the Revolutionary War?” He laughed uproariously at that belated news. “Whoops.”

  Teja closed her eyes and prayed for patience. She really should’ve requested a separate hearing.

  “There is only one explanation for this!” Eian shouted over the din. He was being backed into a corner and coming out swinging. “I should have seen it before. The Fire House are too stupid to have conceived of this scheme on their own.” He nodded like a zealous preacher with the spirit upon him. “We all know there is only one species destructive and duplicitous enough to plot something this vile.” He jabbed a finger at Sullivan. “The human is the mastermind behind this whole plot! It was all his doing!”

  Gasps filled the Council Hall.

  Teja’s eyes narrowed.

  Sullivan just looked amused. “Really? That’s going to be your defense?”

  “We’ve all heard the rumors that he has the Happiness box.” Eian continued with fanatical zeal. “All sorts of thugs have been looking for him lately. We were thinking they wanted to find the Tablet, but really they’ve been working for him. I was naive to defend the human! It’s clear now that Sullivan Pryce is out to destroy all of us!”

  Djinn’s brows compressed, annoyed that Sullivan was stealing all the credit. He looked over at Pele. “Why’s the human get to be mastermind?”

  “Bullshit.” Pele agreed loudly. “This is the kid’s big plan to rescue us. You see what a frigging ‘mastermind’ he is? I’d be better off with Job planning my terrorist attack.”

  Job arched a brow. “Thanks.” He said wryly.

  Eian wasn’t giving up. Sullivan was popular, but many of the Elementals still held anti-human prejudice. He began urgently appealing to the lowest common denominator. “The human even admits that he knew about this Star of Bethlehem. He surely planted it in my kingdom.”

  “Vandal had that bomb.” Rysimer growled and the other Light Phases nodded.

  “You don’t have any proof of that.” Eian retorted. “And your House
’s reputation is hardly enough to just accept your word alone. What we do know is that the bomb is a human weapon. The Fire House has always hated the Cold Kingdom. So, they recruited a human to pretend to be Teja’s Match and smuggled…”

  Teja cut him off. “Pretend.” She repeated in a dangerous voice.

  Most people had the good sense to step back.

  Sullivan glanced at her over his shoulder. “Darlin’; no one is listening to his lies. Don’t get upset.”

  Teja was waaaaay passed upset. Eian was threatening her Match. Something very much like an emotion flooded her. “Does anyone here believe that Sullivan is making all this up?” She looked around. “Does anyone want to tell me that he isn’t the best person in this room? Because, if any of you have something to say about my Match, this debate is about to get a lot more fucking heated!” The last part came out as a roar.

  Teja’s duel powers slipped as her temper detonated. Small flames ignited in midair, sparking throughout the vast space. At the same time, snow began falling from the ceiling, the frosty particles swirling in miniature blizzards. Phases slid down in the chairs, afraid they were about to be flash-fried and then frozen solid by her wrath.

  Job’s mouth twitched.

  Sullivan stared at her, a strange expression on his face.

  Melanie crossed her arms over her chest and smirked. “See? Teja gets it.”

  “Sullivan has never been anything but patient with us.” Teja continued. “I have no clue why, but he’s painfully tolerant of all things Elemental. He’s never locked any of us in Mayport’s jail without cause, and --Gaia knows-- we annoy him enough.”

  Nia and Ty nodded ruefully at that.

  “He’s never taken advantage of the fact every un-Matched woman here has propositioned him.” Teja glowered out at his crowd of supporters. “He never slept with any of you, because he knew you aren’t his Match.”

  “Hell, I’ll sleep with him, anyway.” Hallie, of the Weather House volunteered with a grin. “The guy’s so damn pretty.”

  Teja decided to get her for that later. Right now, she had bigger problems. “Sullivan has had video evidence that we aren’t human for months and he’s never exposed us on the internet, or to his government, or to scientists in white lab coats. Which is kind of a shame,” she glanced over at Gion, “’cause you and Chason would’ve looked just beautiful strapped to a dissection table.”