Not Another Family Wedding

by Jackie Lau

  I don’t want to carry a vomit-inducing watermelon in my uterus then push it out of my vagina, thank you. Is that so hard to imagine? And I’ve dealt with enough diapers and poo explosions, courtesy of my baby sister, to last a life time. I also like having a good night’s sleep and traveling the world. I enjoy kids in moderation, but they’re exhausting, and I have no interest in living with a small child again. Then they become teenagers... And now you’re going to tell me I’m selfish, aren’t you? Many of the reasons people have kids are selfish, too, if you think about it.

  She wasn’t going to say that, not at Rebecca’s wedding, not with Aunt Carolyn. She wouldn’t see the woman again for a long time—probably not until Iris got married, if Iris was the marrying sort.

  Instead, Natalie took a deep breath and imagined she was outside, enjoying nature. Maybe kayaking on the Ottawa River.

  “Ngin Ngin said Natalie can get pregnant before she gets married,” Rebecca said, which didn’t help matters.

  At that, Aunt Carolyn took a gulp of her drink. “Career girls.” She shook her head. “Maybe Natalie should move to Toronto. Bigger city.”

  “I just got tenure,” Natalie said, “so I’m not going anywhere. I like my life.”

  “You say that now, but when you’re my age and all alone...” Aunt Carolyn gave her a sympathetic smile.

  It wasn’t like Natalie wanted to be alone, but that was how things had worked out. Did people really need to rub it in?

  Deep breaths. It’ll all be over soon. Stay calm for Rebecca.

  Aunt Carolyn turned to Connor. “I understand you’re just a friend.”

  “I am,” Connor said. “Though I can still admit that Natalie looks beautiful tonight, and I’m sure if Natalie wanted a boyfriend, she could have one.”

  Oh, Connor. Her friend was so sweet, but he didn’t know the truth. For starters, she couldn’t have a boyfriend unless she changed her mind about kids. Of course, there were men out there who didn’t want children, but for whatever reason, those were never the ones who wanted a relationship with her.

  And maybe I’m simply not lovable.

  Connor took the empty glass from her hand and put it on the nearest table. “Nice meeting you.” He nodded at Uncle Lewis, who had been silent the whole time, and Aunt Carolyn. “Natalie and I are going to get some fresh air.”

  * * *

  They leaned against the brick wall at the back of the community center. Connor hadn’t been able to stand it any longer. The comments about Natalie’s age and her ticking biological clock...

  Jesus.

  And with her family, Natalie didn’t stick up for herself and talk back as much as she did with her friends.

  He rubbed his hands up and down her bare arms. “How are you?”

  “I’m fine,” she muttered. “Those silly comments are nothing new.”

  “That may be true, but they do seem to bother you. At least a little.”

  She shrugged. “When you’re a single woman over thirty-five, some people can’t seem to help themselves. They think you’re pathetic. It still gets to me, even if I tell myself it shouldn’t.”

  “You’re anything but pathetic.”

  “And that’s why you’re my friend.”

  She rested her forehead against his shoulder, and that felt...rather nice, actually. He ran his hand up and down her back, covered in shiny purple fabric. Her fancy hairdo was a bit mussed, but she did indeed look beautiful, as he’d said to her aunt.

  He’d meant what he said. If Natalie wanted a boyfriend, he was sure she could have one. She hadn’t talked about going on dates for a while, though. There was a time, two or three years ago, when she’d regularly meet people from online dating sites, and then she’d text Connor afterward, sometimes even meet him at the bar after her dates.

  Lately? Not so much.

  “But otherwise,” he said, “it’s gone reasonably well. The ceremony was nice, and I bet the pictures will turn out great.”

  “We haven’t eaten dinner yet. There’s still time for one of my relatives to stab someone with a fork.” She ran her hands through her hair.

  “Don’t. You’ll mess it up even more, and I bet there are more pictures to come.”

  Though he wanted to mess it up himself. Extract the pins and let it all come tumbling down. The thought seemed so...erotic.

  He shook his head.

  “It’s not the end of the world if something bad happens,” she said. “Weddings are rarely perfect. I just want it to be something Rebecca and Elliot can laugh at when they look back on it. Like the Wedding Cake Incident.” She blew out a breath. “Let’s go back inside.”

  He placed his hand on her lower back and guided her into the reception, unable to pass up an opportunity to touch her.

  * * *

  Uncle Carey was talking to Rebecca beside the gift table when Natalie walked in with Connor.

  “I wish you all the happiness in the world, Rebecca.” He hugged her. “I’m so glad we could all be here.”

  Natalie knew what he was thinking of: the wedding he hadn’t attended.

  “I just hope you don’t put me in the hospital,” he said. “Like I did to you at my wedding.”

  A rather awkward joke, but Rebecca was all smiles. “It wasn’t your fault. I hardly remember it now.”

  Natalie remembered, though. Her little sister had looked so small and fragile in that sterile white room.

  “Natalie,” Uncle Carey said, startling her back to the present. “I’ve hardly had a chance to talk to you. How are you doing?”

  “Good,” she said. “I’m good.” Just a little freaked out that my little sister is actually married, and annoyed with all the comments I’m getting.

  “Anything new with you?”

  She smiled. It was easy to smile at him. Uncle Carey was easygoing and good-humored, and she doubted he’d ask if she was ready to pop out babies.

  Connor squeezed her shoulder. “Natalie got tenure.”

  “Did you? That’s wonderful.”

  Yes, she’d managed to get where she wanted in her career, and she was proud of that. She’d even managed to find a position in Ontario. Although Ottawa was a ways from Toronto and Mosquito Bay, she was happy with where she lived.

  Uncle Carey went off to join his wife and teenage children, and Connor leaned toward Natalie.

  “Did Carey go to your parents’ wedding?” he asked. “You said it was just Louisa, but—”

  “Uncle Carey seems like a good guy? Yeah, he is. He was only fifteen when my parents got married, too young to drive to Toronto for the wedding. Louisa offered to take him, but his parents said he’d be grounded for the rest of the summer if he went. So he stayed home. I know he feels bad about it.”

  Just then, Iris walked up to the microphone and asked everyone to take their seats. Natalie would be sitting at the head table, not beside Connor. Unfortunate, because she enjoyed having him here.

  Once everyone was seated except for the newlyweds, Iris announced, “Mr. and Mrs. Marsden!” and Elliot and Rebecca walked up to the head table, hand in hand, as people clapped and cheered.

  As the buffet dinner was being laid out, the bride and groom cut the cake so it could be served up in time for dessert. They each fed each other a bite, and when Elliot got some icing on his upper lip, Rebecca swiped it off with her finger.

  “Use your tongue!” Uncle Dennis shouted, much to everyone’s discomfort.

  Natalie wondered who’d had more to drink: Uncle Dennis or Aunt Louisa? Hard to say. She glanced at Connor and felt an odd catch in her breath when they shared a smile.

  Iris called up one table at a time to get their food, starting with the head table. Once everyone had some sustenance, she gave a short speech, talking about her university days with Rebecca and the phone call she’d gotten after Rebecca’s first date with Elliot. The next speech was given by the best man, a close friend of Elliot’s. Both speeches were short, funny in places, and heartfelt.

  Natalie st
arted to relax. Everything was going pretty well, wasn’t it? Not perfect, but pretty good. And hopefully the awkward “are you next?” conversations were finished for her, and she could just enjoy herself.

  Yes, maybe her family would get through this wedding without any disasters after all.

  She looked at Rebecca, who was lovely in her red dress, and grinned. She was glad that her sister had found love and was having a nice wedding day.

  After dinner, Rebecca and Elliot stood up to say a few words before dessert. Natalie had seen her sister’s speech that morning—apparently Rebecca had finally put away her paint chips and written her speech last night—and made some minor suggestions. So she knew what was coming.

  “Elliot and I would like to thank you all for celebrating our marriage with us. It means so much to have our family and friends here on this special day. Some of you had to travel a long way”—Rebecca glanced at Seth and Simon—“and we’re so glad you could make it. Thank you to the bridal party for all your support, and thank you to Elliot’s mother, Sherry, for making me feel so welcome and for arranging the wedding favors. Thank you to my parents for helping with the arrangements here in Mosquito Bay.” She paused. “Well, let’s be honest, ninety percent of that was my mother.” A few people chuckled, and she turned to her parents. “Mom and Dad, I also want to thank you for the wonderful example of marriage you’ve provided me. I always aspired to have a love like yours, and I believe I’ve found it with Elliot.” Dad put his hand over Mom’s, but they looked away from each other, probably uncomfortable with the attention. “So once again, thank you all...”

  Rebecca trailed off as Aunt Louisa burst into laughter. A loud, high-pitched laugh; she’d always had an annoying laugh, the sort that made you not want to tell jokes in her presence, and it was even worse when she was drunk.

  Natalie cringed. Please don’t do anything stupid.

  As everyone looked at Aunt Louisa, Natalie turned her attention to her sister, who was trying to compose herself. But before Rebecca could get any words out, Aunt Louisa said, in a voice just as loud as her awful laugh, “Your parents are getting divorced!”

  Chapter 7

  Natalie stared at Aunt Louisa. Why did her aunt feel the need to get wasted at every family gathering? Why did she need to make up such bullshit?

  For God’s sake, it was Rebecca’s wedding!

  “I’m serious,” Aunt Louisa said, looking around the room. “They want everyone to think they have a great marriage, but they’re fucking miserable, and I’m sick of watching my sister live like this. She told me a few weeks ago that they’re finally going to divorce, because she started shacking up with this hoity-toity Toronto businessman who has a cottage near Mosquito Bay. And, Mom”—she turned to Grandma—“you’ll be happy to hear he’s white.”

  Natalie gripped the table with one hand.

  She now suspected her aunt wasn’t making anything up.

  Aunt Louisa liked to say outrageous things. Then a few seconds later, she would slap the table, laugh that horrible laugh of hers, and say, “Got you there, didn’t I?” Even though everyone had known the whole time that she was making shit up.

  This time was different.

  Plus, she was Mom’s confidante. They’d always been close.

  Natalie felt silly for thinking, not long ago, that her family might actually get through the wedding without any disasters. She should have known that would never happen.

  Aunt Louisa continued. “They would have split up sooner, but—”

  “Stop it, Louisa,” Mom hissed from the next table over, but she didn’t say it was a lie.

  Aunt Louisa kept talking. “They didn’t want to do it right before your wedding, Rebecca.” She burped. “Congratulations, by the way. I’m all for marriage. And divorce. I’ve done both three times.” She held up her empty glass. “Cheers!”

  The room was quiet. Everyone was probably too shocked to speak.

  How could this be happening? How could Mom and Dad be miserable together?

  Natalie had never thought her parents’ relationship was a fairytale love story, but she’d believed in their marriage. She felt like her understanding of love was crumbling.

  At her own sister’s wedding. Only hours after Rebecca had tied the knot.

  Poor Rebecca.

  Natalie’s gaze shifted to her sister, who slowly lowered herself to her seat, one hand to her mouth, the other gripping Elliot’s arm.

  Natalie wanted to gather Rebecca in her arms, like she’d done when her sister was little, and tell her everything would be okay. There were no trolls in the closet, that was just her imagination, she was safe and sound.

  At the same time, Natalie wanted to be next to Connor and feel his comforting hand on hers. Something solid to hold on to when it felt like there was nothing solid in this world. She glanced at him, and he gave her a closed-lip smile.

  “I told you.” Grandma tapped Mom on the shoulder with her cane. “I told you it was a stupid idea to marry that silly boy, just because he reminded you of Bruce Lee. And I was right! It didn’t work out.”

  Ngin Ngin shot to her feet and marched over to Grandma as best she could. “My son is a great man. Why are you listening to these lies? No divorce.”

  “I didn’t tell any lies,” Aunt Louisa said.

  “You fool.” Ngin Ngin turned to Dad. “Tell everyone. It’s not true.”

  Dad whispered something in her ear, and her eyes widened.

  “This is your fault.” She raised her cane above her head and lunged toward Grandma, who hobbled out of her chair.

  Before Ngin Ngin could do any damage, Seth pulled her back, and Uncle Carey pushed Grandma back into her seat.

  Damn. It was a near thing that there hadn’t been a physical fight between two nonagenarians. Only in the Chin-Williams family could this sort of thing happen.

  “My mother might be a racist turd of a human being,” Aunt Louisa said, “but this divorce isn’t her fault. Just didn’t work out, okay? None of my marriages did, either.”

  “Okay, okay,” Iris said, speaking into the microphone. “That’s enough. Welcome to our loving family, Elliot! We’re really not so bad, but if you need any drugs to get you through the evening, find me and I’ll hook you up.”

  A number of wedding guests chuckled, desperate for laughter. Aunt Carolyn, however, looked more horrified by her daughter’s mention of drugs than she had by anything else.

  “Anyway,” Iris continued. “Howard and Judy, would you still like to say something?”

  Oh, dear God. Mom and Dad were supposed to speak.

  This would certainly be delightful.

  Mom made her way up to the front and took the microphone from Iris. She looked pointedly at Dad, but he remained in his seat, arms crossed over his chest.

  “We’re so proud of you, Rebecca,” she said, a slight tremor in her voice. “You always did well in school, and then you went on to become an engineer...”

  Mom continued talking, telling stories about Rebecca as a kid, about meeting Elliot for the first time at Thanksgiving.

  “And this is when I was going to say...” She laughed awkwardly. “This is when I was going to say that I know what makes a strong marriage because I’ve been in one for thirty-nine years, and I want Rebecca to know the happiness that I have. But now you know that’s all a crock of shit. So, Rebecca, don’t be like us, okay? Be like...Carey and Melanie? Seth and Simon?” She laughed again. “But what do I know? They could be faking it, too. So, other than the don’t-go-to-bed-angry advice I gave you last night, I also want to tell you that if it doesn’t work out, it’s okay. Don’t hold on to something just because you’re stubborn and you want to prove people wrong. I wish you and Elliot every happiness, but if it’s not meant to be, don’t spend decades trying to keep up appearances, just to have it all come out at your daughter’s wedding. We were going to separate last year, but then Howard convinced me to wait until our mothers died, and really, how much longer could that be?
”

  “Aiyah!” Ngin Ngin said. “I’m healthy as an ox. Will live many more years. Ten great-grandchildren. Rebecca, you start working on that tonight.”

  Natalie wanted to sink into the floor. She looked out at the friends and family Rebecca had thanked, not long ago, for coming, and she wished they would all vanish.

  Except Connor. He could stay. She didn’t want to be all alone, but she wanted someone who wasn’t related to her.

  Mom wasn’t done yet. “And then I decided I couldn’t wait any longer. I was planning to move out this spring, but you announced you were engaged, and I didn’t want to do that to you right before your wedding. I guess we succeeded, since you didn’t find out until afterward!”

  Oh, God. What a horror show.

  “Judy,” Elliot said quietly, “how about I walk you back to your seat, and my mother can say a few words.”

  When Sherry came up to the front of the room, she looked at everyone in stunned silence for a moment before pulling out a folded piece of paper from her purse. She spoke fondly of Elliot, and how much she wished his father—who had died of a heart attack a few years ago— could be here, and then she thanked Rebecca’s family for planning the wedding. She made no reference to what had just transpired, instead sticking to her script.

  It was good Rebecca had a normal mother in-law. She would probably need it.

  “Okay!” Iris said, artificially upbeat. “I think we’ve given them lots of time to cut the cake. We’ll have tea and coffee and wedding cake, and then we’ll start the dancing!”

  * * *

  Rebecca and Elliot had their first dance as a married couple. Next, Rebecca danced with Dad while Elliot danced with his mother. Natalie tried to focus on them and forget everything else, but it was impossible.

  When the song finished, Iris invited all the guests onto the dance floor. Natalie didn’t plan to dance, but she immediately jumped up and made her way toward Connor, thankful she’d had the forethought to bring a date who was here just for her and wasn’t wrapped up in the rest of the drama.