by R Cole
They eye me and then each other. Benji scratches his head and sighs. “Sure, but I’ll need to see your ID and I can’t promise you an actual job just yet because Janet does all the hiring here, and she’s still out. It’s her call, not mine, but we are in need of extra hands so I don’t think it will be a problem.”
I hand over my fake ID and then turn to Jazz who is still checking out Benji. I elbow her, trying to get her attention. When she finally turns to me, I tell her to go on back to the dorm and I’ll take the bus home. After some coaxing she finally agrees since the bar is twenty-one plus after a certain time. However, she makes me promise to call her when I’m done for a ride home and hugs me goodbye. Then I go to the back to put on my new uniform consisting of a V-neck T-shirt that has Jay Jay’s logo on the front and STAFF on the back. When I’m about to head over to the bar, I stop and say a silent prayer. Walking out I mutter to myself, “Okay, Trudy. Let’s show them what you can do.”
I’m in the zone by the time Janet comes over to the bar and eyes me up and down. I don’t know who she is at first and treat her like everyone else who orders a drink. I’ve even flirted with a few guys for better tips.
With my southern drawl, I ask, “What can I get ya, sweetie?” I have to yell because business has really picked up. Instead of saying anything, she stands up and walks down the hallway toward the restrooms. Okay?
Ten minutes later she comes back and slides a yellow manila envelope my way while continuing to eye me. You can tell she’s had a rough life with her worn skin and bleached hair. She continues smoking her cigarette. “These are all the forms I need filled out by tomorrow. I also need your class schedule so I can work around it and a copy of your ID before you leave tonight. I’ll be in my office when you’re ready,” she says in a raspy voice before walking away.
“That’s Janet. Owner of Jay Jay’s and from the looks of it, your new boss,” Blaire says while she picks up a drink order. “She’s good at running this place, but remember this: her bite’s just as bad as her bark.” She walks away, leaving me in disbelief and shaking nerves. I hope I didn’t make a bad first impression on my new boss.
Then it hits me, I got the job! OMG, I got the job! I start doing a happy dance behind the bar to celebrate. I’m not paying attention to anyone when I hear a laugh beside me. I stop and turn to see Benji standing there smiling. “By all means, please continue. I’m enjoying the entertainment.”
He continues to snicker, and I can’t help but smile back. You know why? Because, I.GOT. THE. JOB! I think I break out the “Running Man” as well as the “Sprinkler,” but I can’t be sure.
By the time the night shift people come in, it’s almost ten. I’m introduced to a few more of the waitresses and Chris, the other bartender. Janet tells me to head out after I give her the information she requested earlier, and I’m happy to oblige. For one my feet are killing me because I’m still wearing my heels. And two, I saw the girl that kissed Jax last night walk in not long ago, and I really don’t want to see Jax and her together.
“Need a lift?” I glance up after I leave Janet’s office and see Blaire and Benji standing in front of me. I know they have to be tired and I don’t want to inconvenience them so I decline.
“No thank you. My friend Jazz is supposed to come pick me up. I appreciate the offer though,” I say and tell them I will see them Tuesday afternoon at my next shift. I’ll be taught the menu with Blaire training me.
“Night, Trudy, and welcome to the family,” Blaire says with a wave and goes into Janet’s office. Family? I’ve never been part of a family other than with Ms. Freeman. I feel my eyes start to get misty with the thought, so I head to the restroom for some privacy.
While I dry my eyes I make a quick call to Jazz and leave a message telling her to call me back. I decide to use the restroom but just as I’m about to step out of the stall, I hear a something that stops me in my tracks.
“See, Amanda, I told you Jax would meet me here tonight,” the girl from last night says, and I feel my emotions of happiness quickly turn into jealousy.
I hear this girl named Amanda squeal. “You’re so dang lucky, Ashton. Jax is so hot and he’s loaded too.” So this is Ashton after all. Jazz will not be happy about this. “Why can’t I find me one just like him?” Amanda sighs. “I saw you disappear into his room last night, and I just knew you two would be back together again.”
“Well, duh! Look at me. I mean who else would he want anyway. Besides, Daddy likes him and says he’s from good money. He told me he’d give me the biggest wedding ever if I snagged someone like Jax.” I hear the door open as they leave and lean against the stall to calm my nerves.
I knew they were together so I shouldn’t be surprised that they had sex last night after he dropped Jazz and me off. I am though because I was hoping that maybe I was thinking too much about what I saw. When Jazz said he didn’t have a girlfriend that hope grew, and now I just feel like a complete fool. I shake these ridiculous feelings off and remember my plan, which doesn’t include a relationship.
Feeling better, I step out of the restroom, and my eyes are immediately drawn to Jax as he stands by the bar with David and another guy. I look on the other side of him and Ashton is standing close to him, saying something in his ear. A girl with bleached blonde, curly hair is on the other side of her talking to Chris behind the bar, and I assume that’s Amanda.
I turn fast to leave before I’m caught and run straight into something hard and almost lose my balance. I glance up and realize it’s Benji. Feeling my face turn pink from embarrassment, I rush out an apology. “I’m so sorry. I feel so stupid. UGH! I really need to pay more attention.” I continue to ramble on as he continues holding my shoulders. Then I feel a set of eyes burning into my back and know whose they are. It’s confirmed when I hear his deep voice behind me.
“Tru? Are you okay?” Jax asks, and I can tell he’s angry. He must think Benji’s trying to hurt me or something.
I turn around, forcing a smile, thankful Benji let go of my arms. “Yeah, Jax, I’m good. Just leaving work and Benji here...” I nod toward Benji “...is about to give me a lift back to the dorm.” I can’t hold his stare for long because my emotions will show. I grab Benji’s hand to head out, but we don’t get far before Jax is grabbing my shoulder. His touch is so different from others I’ve felt, but I won’t dwell on that right now.
“I can give you a lift if you want. I don’t mind,” he says, and it almost sounds like he’s pleading.
I’m about give in because I don’t want to inconvenience Benji, but then Ashton comes up and once again wraps her arms around Jax. “There you are, baby. I was looking for you.” She eyes me up and down while Jaxon just stands there not saying anything. When I glance back to him, his eyes are staring me down. Then I look back toward Benji. I feel really uncomfortable in this situation, so it’s obviously time to go.
Benji must feel the tension too because he wraps his arm around my waist and leads me out the back door. I can feel Jax’s stare the whole time until the door finally shuts behind us.
We’re silent for a minute until Benji finally speaks.“Man, that was kind of awkward, huh?” I glance toward Benji, who’s getting on a black and chrome motorcycle. He passes me a helmet.
It takes me a minute to answer because I was holding my breath. When I can finally nod my head, I say, “Yeah. I don’t know what that was about, but I’m too tired to think about it. I really don’t care.” I laugh, trying to act normal, and take the helmet. “You know I have absolutely no experience with motorcycles. Besides, I didn’t mean you had to take me back. I just didn’t want Jax to take me. His girlfriend gets angry easily. I don’t think she’d appreciate him leaving to take me somewhere.” I try to give him the helmet back, but he won’t take it. “Seriously, I can call Jazz again for her to come.”
“No, I don’t mind. I actually owe you for helping us today. So don’t argue because I’m taking you.” He takes off his glasses and puts them in a compartme
nt on the front of the bike.
I start freaking out. “Can you even see without your glasses? I’m scared to ride this machine as it is, so I definitely don’t need a blind man driving it to boot.” Is he crazy?
He smiles a cocky smile and says, “Actually, the glasses are fake. I just wear them because the chicks love it.” I look at him like he’s insane. “Seriously. You saw how your friend was eye fucking me earlier. It’s like it has a special tit radar and they instantly get perky when I put them on.” He wags his eyebrows and licks his lips.
I burst out laughing because he’s serious about this belief of his. “Well, I still don’t want to ride this….this thing.” I wave my hand to encompass the bike he’s straddling.
“Hold up,” he says while laughing, and I notice his tongue is pierced.“This is not a THING, as you so rudely put it. This is my 88’ Harley FXRS, and her name’s Foxy.”
“Foxy? Really?” I have to take a minute to catch my breath. I haven’t laughed this much in forever it seems.
“Really. I’ve had her for a year and fixed her up myself. She’s my pride and joy and deserves your respect since she’ll be escorting you back home.” He starts her right up, and I have no choice but to hop on back.
I yell over the rumble of the bike. “Any words of advice?” I really don’t know this guy, and I don’t know what to do with my hands.
“Yeah.” He grabs my hands and pulls my arms around his torso. While he holds them to his chest he starts rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. “Hold on.”
I notice someone’s silhouette outside the door watching us as we take off. Then I squeal with laughter as we fly down the road and forget about being watched.
I haven’t seen Tru in almost a week. I think she’s avoiding me for some reason, and every time I mention it to Jazz, she states that she’s just busy with school and work. Then again, my sister seems to have an attitude toward me too, and I can’t figure out why.
I finally convince Jazz to meet me for coffee this morning and plan to ask what the hell her deal is. I have a feeling it has to do with Saturday night, but I don’t know what I did wrong. After Trudy walked away wrapped in that dick’s arms, I left the bar for the night. I had to think and be by myself.
Surprised to see her there, I was caught off guard. Then hearing her say that dickhead was driving her home, I won’t lie, that hurt. I felt jealousy so strong I had to take a breath before I threw her over my shoulder and walked off. I knew that wouldn’t go over well so I restrained myself.
I just wanted her to want me to take her home, and for a second I thought she would. She didn’t though. She just walked out the door and I let her. I went outside and saw them laughing while they pulled away and felt like I was kicked in the gut. I want to be the one to receive that smile, not some playboy bartender.
Jazz arrives and sits down across the table, giving me an annoyed look. “That.” I point to her face and in an angry whisper, then continue, “That look right there. I need to know why I’m receiving it and why you’ve had a stick up your ass all week.” Man, it feels good to get some anger out, but I hate directing it toward my sister, no matter what she did.
Still giving me her famous annoyed look, she demands just as angry, “You want to explain why you’re dating that spoiled skank again and didn’t bother to tell me?”
“What are you talking about? I’m not dating Ashton. I can’t stand the girl, but I’m trying to be civil around her.” I know she’s talking about Ashton. Jazz has never cared for the girl, and I can’t blame her.
Jazz takes a deep breath and releases it slowly.“Really?” Crap. She’s talking in a calm voice, and I know I’m in trouble. “Then please, brother, tell me. Why did she call you baby and cover your neck in her venom while you just stood there and did nothing?” Her voice goes up a few octaves, and now she’s leaning across the table. I know she’s about to lose her top. “And you slept with her after you dropped us off Friday night when you told me you pushed her away. I can’t believe you lied to me. If you were looking for sex why the hell did you have to do it with that gold digging snake?”
“Okay, first of all, I don’t remember her necking me and calling me baby. Second, I didn’t sleep with her or anyone for that matter. I’d rather work on my calluses than touch her again.” I watch her cringe as she takes her seat and instantly regret saying that to my little sister. “Who told you this shit anyway?” I glance around and thank God nobody’s watching our little chat. Although, I think the lady at the table across from us is listening. I watch her start to relax.
“Trudy was there and watched Ashton all over you—for the second time I might add—and she overheard Ashton and Amanda, her groupie, talking about how you two spent the night together last Friday and were back together.”
I don’t remember anything while I was watching Trudy get ready to leave with that guy. I was so wrapped up in my own emotions that I focused on nothing else. I try explaining this to Jazz, but she doesn’t seem happy yet.
“What about you two bumping uglies last Friday night, huh?” She looks around and notices the same older woman looking our way. “Geez! Do you mind? We’re in the middle of a very private and important discussion. So butt out!”
The lady just huffs and leaves the coffee shop while I smile at my crazy ass sister. Man, I’m happy it’s no longer me getting her anger. “Look, Jazz. Ashton might be telling people that we stayed together, but we didn’t. I stayed with my friend Mason because I knew the party was just getting started and I wasn’t feeling it. Okay? If she stayed with someone, it was definitely not me.” Now I’m glad I decided to head over to Mason’s mom’s apartment. When I did return to the house the next day, it was trashed.
She is deep in thought, and I can’t hold it in any longer. “Jazz?” When she looks up I ask, “How’s Trudy?”
She clears her throat and answers with a soft smile. “She’s happy to be working and making it on her own. I haven’t broken her down to telling me much about her, but I think her story runs deep Jax.” She shakes her head while she thinks of how much to tell me. “Something happened to her. I can tell from her nervousness and sometimes at night I can hear her crying.”
This news confirms my suspicions about her. She seems scared but tough all at once. Hearing Jazz talk about her crying at night makes me more determined to get to know this enigma of a woman. “How do I get to her, Jazz? I need to talk to her. I have to explain that I’m not with Ashton or anyone, but I don’t want to scare her away.” I take her hand in mine and beg her with my eyes to help me.
“Man, Jax. I’ve never seen you like this. You must really like her,” she says with a sad smile. “All I can say is be her friend first and let that be enough for now. I don’t think she’s had a whole lot of them in her life.”
Jazz takes a sip of her coffee then continues before I can say anything. “I’m going to tell you something, but you have to swear you won’t tell anyone. Got it?” I nod my head, eager to hear anything involving Trudy. “She was put in foster care when both her parents abandoned her at the age of six. She almost starved to death, but luckily the landlord came for the rent and noticed she was there by herself. The only person she really talks about is a Ms. Freeman who fostered her for almost 6 years.”
Pissed doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel right now. Rotten people that are supposed to be parents are unfortunately more common than people think. Just ask my brothers and sisters. I take deep breaths and keep my hands clenched in my lap so I won’t knock the shit out of some undeserving person. I sit there and listen to Jazz continue to tell me how Trudy just turned twenty and graduated this past May. She started school late because she didn’t begin until she was put into the system. I can’t believe how smart she is. She’s on a full scholarship here and taking advance classes.
I finally build the courage to ask the real question on my mind. “So who’s this Benji guy and does she like him?” I end the question with a snarl on my lips.
&nb
sp; Jazz starts giggling and almost spits her coffee all over the place. “The answer to the first question is he’s just a guy who offered her a ride home that works with her. The answer to your second question is no. She doesn’t want to date right now, but even if she did he’s not her type.”
I think about this for a moment, and I’m relieved she doesn’t like him. “What’s her type then?” I’m starting to sweat as she watches me over her cup of coffee, and I can tell she’s smiling.
Before she answers me she stands up and grabs her purse. I don’t think she minds seeing me nervous like this. In fact, I think she’s enjoying herself. Finally, she answers as she gets ready to walk away. “You.”
I leave the coffee shop with a smile on my face and a skip in my step. I don’t care if I look like an idiot because I have hope that by this time next year I will have my Tru Love.
It’s four in the morning and I can’t sleep. I’ve been in Alabama for almost two weeks and thought I was getting better with my new friends and job. But after the nightmare I just had, the grief seems fresh as it strips me of everything I am. I’m drenched in sweat as tears run down my cheeks. I don’t care though because crying helps me. It slowly allows this aching despair to leave my body. I continue to shake myself from this horrifying nightmare, wrapping my arms around my knees and crying while it continues to run through my thoughts.
I hear a noise coming from a set of dark stairs in front of me. I don’t recognize my surroundings, but I know I’m supposed to go down the steps. When I reach the bottom, the air is chilled and the atmosphere smells stale. There’s absolutely no color and everything is in black, white, and grey. I see a sheer white curtain blowing in an imaginary breeze that I can’t feel. I look around and see wooden crates stacked up all around the room covered in dust.