by R Cole
I see her curled up on her side with her pink eye mask on. I lean over her small form and tap her shoulder. She just swats my hand away and mumbles something incoherent, so I try again.
“Jazz?” I whisper and shake her with a little more force.
She mumbles and when I say her name again, she lifts her eye mask up to peek at me with one sleepy, blue eye. “Tru?” Are you okay?” She covers her mouth on a yawn.
I’m not okay so I don’t answer her question and just ask my own. “Can I sleep with you?”
She scoots over toward the wall and lifts the bedspread. “Sure.” She looks at me with concern. “But don’t try for morning sex because I’m not Jax. Got it?” She smiles while trying to lighten the somber mood, and I’m grateful she doesn’t ask for details.
Saturday creeps up on me and goes by fast. We wait backstage for the moment we walk in front of the audience. The auditorium is filling up, and I’m glad I was given four tickets for family to sit at the front. I don’t have family to invite, but I did have Jax and Jazz. I invited Mrs. Janet but she’s helping run the bar tonight. She just hired a girl named Gabby, but I have yet to meet her.
I turn toward my right and see Elle there beside me looking out nervously into the crowd. “Are your grandparents here?” I know they’ve supported her since her freshman year and have seen her dance several times so I don’t know why she’s so tense.
“Yes,” she answers shortly with a quiver in her voice while scanning the crowd.
I turn back around and ignore her rude tone because tonight is about dancing. I helped choreograph the dance I’m lead in with Jamal and Keith, and I can’t wait to perform it. It’s to Radioactive by Imagine Dragons and the dance is about breaking free from my past and making a new life for myself.
“Trudy, I’m sorry.” I turn back to Elle as she takes a shaky breath. “Some scouts from the Joffrey Ballet Company are out there tonight, and I’m a nervous wreck.”
I beam and give her a hug. I’m so excited for her. “Elle, I know you’ll do great. I’ve been following dance for years, and I believe you are by far the best I’ve seen.” I smile and I hope the truth behind my words helps to calm her down.
“Thanks.” She smiles and faces me. “It’s almost time.” She turns and takes a deep breath then announces to the others to get ready.
The music department is performing in between each of our routines, so the show should last an hour or longer. I glance one last time out toward the audience and spot Jax talking with David and Jazz sitting beside him. I see Mason sitting on the other side of Jax looking at his phone. If I know him I’d say he’s playing a video game.
“You ready, doll?” Jamal asks, smiling wide. He’s dressed in a brown monk robe just like Keith and I for our first performance. Underneath they are wearing black and red leotards with black tights.
I’m wearing a red halter baby-doll dance dress with a sheer hem and sequined top. My hair is in a French twist and my features pop with dark eye makeup and red lipstick. My feet are covered in my nude dance shoes that I bought a few weeks after I started with the team. I smile, anxious to get out on stage and perform. “Yeah, I’m nervous and excited. I haven’t performed in front of a crowd in a long time.”
“Well, don’t be nervous, girl. We got this.” He turns and glances out toward the crowd. “I see your man and his friends are all here.” He turns back to me with a serious expression and gets all sassy with his hand on his hip. “I’m glad you found a good guy, sweetie, because you definitely deserve it. But if he turns out to be not only a fine ass but an asshole to, just say the word and I’ll handle it, okay?”
I just smile and nod because Jamal is such a diva, and it shows even when he’s acting like a big brother. After he leaves satisfied with my answer, I go listen to the music and wait for my first performance for the night.
After the first two songs from the music department are performed, it’s finally our turn. I see the lights dim as the stage crew carries in a wooded table made to look like a dais. I go and lie on it before the music starts.
At the beginning of the song, both Jamal and Keith walk out toward me slowly. As the bass hits, both try to resuscitate me, and I raise my chest to match. I finally inhale my first breath with the music while my upper body rises in an arch before I sit up.
Both Jamal and Keith take one of my hands, and I spin around to gracefully allow my feet to touch the ground the first time. Then they both throw off their robes before they grab mine and rip it off to reveal my red dress. It flows with the contemporary dance moves we incorporated into the routine as well as some hip-hop while I first dance with Jamal and then Keith.
During the chorus we are synchronized in our spins and movements around one another until the next verse starts. I jump into Jamal’s arms and wrap my leg around his waist until he dips me down. Then I flip backwards into Keith’s arms. He spins me in a fast motion and raises my leg up straight after he stops. I lean back until I fall once again in Jamal’s arms, and he stands me up facing the audience. Each one grabs at me from either side of my body to portray fighting for my attention. When the chorus starts back up, we return to our synchronized movements until the song slows and they freeze while I spin and dance independently and the others come out and line the back wall. The chorus runs through its final set, and we all dance together to finish out the song.
I think my ears might bleed from the crowd’s screams, but I couldn’t care less at the moment. I can’t see him because of the bright lights, but I know Jax is there watching me. I feel alive even though my heart is beating close to ninety miles an hour. Performing this dance means so much to me, and I hope Jax understands.
To wake up and live this life I was given. To learn to always get up even though people try to keep me down. And I plan on doing it with Jax no matter what happens in the future. I grab Jamal and Keith’s hands, and we bow before leaving the stage.
I’m speechless as Tru takes a bow and exits the stage. I can’t get her face or the look of emotions reflecting in her eyes out of my mind. From the distress in the beginning to the pleasure toward the end, both are so real and mind blowing.
“She’s awesome, huh?” Jazz whispers from beside me. I just nod my head as the music department’s band starts their next song.
I look down toward the program to see when Tru’s next performance is, but I see it’s the last one of the night and it’s a group performance to Bangarang by Skrillex. I do see that Elle is up next, and she’s doing a solo. Tru says she’s a phenomenal dancer, and I’m positive she’s the reason David agreed to come tonight.
After the band finishes their performance, the stage darkens and a spotlight lands on Elle, who stands frozen until the music starts. I glance at David and he’s watching Elle with a mesmerized look on his face. I reach over Jazz and punch his arm, but he doesn’t let his eyes leave the stage.
“Stop it you idiot.” Jazz smacks me while she watches Elle with a look on her face that is similar to David’s.
I have to admit she’s good, but I’m biased so Tru is better in my eyes. I can’t wait for this to be over so I can have her all to myself. I plan on taking her out tonight after the show for dinner. Then we’ll go to Jay Jay’s with everyone, including Elle and a few others from her dance team.
Several songs later, the lights go out and the deep bass to Tru’s next performance starts. I see her come out dressed as Peter Pan and love her ass in those green tights she’s wearing. I take my eyes off her ass and see Jamal is Captain Hook, and they are fighting over Elle, who is Wendy. It’s a fast, upbeat performance that ends with everyone dancing together and it reminds me of one of the Step up movies McKenzie loves to watch. I wish she was here to see Tru in action, because she would love this. I’ll have to bring her next year.
We wait in our seats as the crowd leaves before we head out to the lobby and wait on Tru and the others. When she finally comes out, her makeup and hair are still from her stage performance, but she’s dr
essed in jeans and a jacket to protect her from the chill in the November air.
I pull her to me and wrap my arms around her so I can breathe her scent in. “Mmmmm, you were awesome on stage, but I love it when you’re right here.”
“Me too.” She kisses me on the lips and smiles up when she looks at me with happiness shining in her eyes. “Thank you. I had a blast up there, and having you here supporting me made it so much better.”
“Well, the night isn’t over yet, so I hope you’re hungry and ready for some more dancing but with me this time.” I grab her hips and smirk before I dive in and give her the kiss I’ve been thinking of all night. I feel her shiver as my tongue massages hers. Then I suck it into my mouth for only a second before we’re rudely interrupted by my sister. Again.
“Get a room you two...but after we eat because this girl is starving.” I turn and see her and Mason standing there. She’s tapping her foot impatiently then grabs his arm before they turn and head out the door.
“I guess that’s our cue,” I say with playful exasperation in my voice. “You ready?”
“Yes, but can I head back to the dorm to wash my face? I’ll do my makeup in your Jeep, and we can just meet everyone at the restaurant.”
I know everyone’s hungry but I don’t mind going back to her dorm for some alone time. “Sure, I’ll just text everyone on the way.”
I see David headed our way with Jamal and Keith and relay the message. “Sure, man. Jamal says Elle is going to meet us there too. She’s actually talking to some scouts, so they’re going to ride with me.”
“Really?” Tru starts jumping up and down with excitement as she explains who these scouts are and how important tonight was to Elle. I glance at David and even though he’s playing it cool, I can tell the news is bothering him.
We say our goodbyes and head to the Jeep, holding hands. After helping her in, I head over and get in to crank up the heater. While we hold hands, she tenderly starts to rub my palm with her fingers, and I’m still amazed at how my body can stir with one small touch from this woman. She just continues to hum to the music on the radio and seems oblivious to the fact that my dick is straining against my pants.
“I’m so hungry. I haven’t eaten all day because I was so nervous about tonight’s performance. Well, besides the muffin you bought this morning.” She glances my way as we pull in and park the Jeep in front of her dorm building.
My earlier plans to get her naked are put on the back burner because she needs to eat first. “Well go and wash your face and come back down so we can get you something. You’re going to need all the energy you can get for tonight’s next performance.” I wag my eyebrows and know she’s blushing even though it’s dark out. She’s so easy to embarrass.
She leans over the center console and gives me a kiss that makes me rethink my last thought, but she pulls away and exits the Jeep before I can act on it. I watch her ass sway as she heads inside, and I decide now is a good time to text everyone that we’ll meet them there.
The flutters are back as I head inside and make my way to the elevator. I grin the whole way up to my floor while I think of Jax and what the future holds for us. I may not have him forever, but I’ll never take for granted the amount of time I do have with him. I’ve learned that you never know in life what the next day will bring. My soul is still healing but with Jax in my life, I can and will do it.
I’m not paying attention as I unlock my door. I’m mentally making a list of what needs to be done before I head back down. The faster I’m through here, the sooner I can be with Jax again. Giggling, I walk in and shut the door, but before I can reach the light switch on the wall, I smell it. My smile falls and my eyes widen while they adjust to the darkness with only moonlight to illuminate the room.
The smell of cigarettes and alcohol is so strong I want to hold my nose, but the lingering stench of cheap cologne makes me freeze. I see a familiar silhouette sitting on my bed, and I start to back up and find the exit, but his voice stops me. “What became of your lamb, Trudy? Hmmm? I heard it died.” Hannibal’s words repeat themselves through my brain and fear surfaces.
I see the orange around his face as he lights a cigarette, and I start to shiver at the sight of Tony sitting comfortably on my bed. Then he leans over and turns on my lamp, and I see the long pink scar that runs along his left cheek. His face is pale and his eyes are sunken in worse than the last time I saw him in Atlanta. He’s grown scraggly facial hair, and his greasy black hair is pulled into a ponytail.
“Don’t act so surprised. I tried to prepare you,” Tony continues as he takes a deep drag from his cigarette. “The note, the flowers. Hell, I even thought about fucking you Halloween night, but people kept walking past us. Besides, deep down I know you’re happy to see me.”
Hannibal? That was Tony? I feel my world start to tilt knowing I should find an exit. Before I can find my feet I spot my life in his hands.
I walk forward and reach out, ready to rip his grimy hands off Brian’s blanket while the other items sit in his lap. They are the only things I have left of him, and I’m willing to fight tooth and nail to get them back from him.
He snatches it back and laughs. “Well, look at Ms. Trudy acting all brave and shit. What? You gonna take me on?” Laughing he takes a drag from his cigarette while slowly fingering the edges of the blanket. His black eyes watch me closely while smoke slowly rises from his mouth and is inhaled through his nose.
I try to relax my facial features before I speak. “Give it back.” I hear a small shake in my voice. He knows it and gives me a sinister smile before he holds up his lighter toward the light blue fabric.
Panic takes hold of me froze as I think of him ruining it. “What do you want, Tony?”
He just laughs and the sound causes my skin to break out in chills and my heart to accelerate with fear. The memories of being held down and strangled while he raped me come back to surface, and I close my eyes while I take a deep breath to try to calm down. I don’t want to be scared anymore. I’m different and not the same weak girl I was a year ago, but the terror I feel won’t dissipate.
“You know why I’m here, baby.” He pushes off my bed, holding my memories in his fist, and throws them down, stalking toward me. My breath hitches as he gets closer, and I back up until I’m against the wall. He runs his finger down my cheek, and I turn my face away.
I hear the click as he locks the door with his other hand, and I feel trapped. His touch makes my stomach roll, and I can’t help the look of disgust that crosses my features. “What?” he says harshly. “You too good for me now, is that it? You only spread those thighs for money now? Or educated assholes?” He sniffs my neck and licks at my pulse for a second then bites down. “You can act like you don’t want me, but I know you do. Your heart is beating fast, baby, because you’re excited to have me back.” He thrusts his hips forward and rubs himself on me. “Remember how good it was, Trudy? I do. I have never wanted anyone like I want you. Your screams will always be the best, and I hear them in my head no matter who I’m fucking.”
I find my voice for the first time and push him back away from me. Knowing Jax is downstairs gives me strength and his words make me angry. He’s a sick sonofabitch. “I’ve never wanted you. I never will either.” I catch him by surprise because he doesn’t say anything when I turn to unlock the door. “You need to leave now or I’m calling the police.”
I hear the gun cock back and stop with my hand on the door knob. “I’m not going anywhere, Trudy. You should know by now that if I want something, I fucking get it. By any means necessary.” I feel the cold metal of the gun on my temple and the strength I had only seconds ago leaves me, and I’m back to feeling panicked. “Now, I want you to be good and call the asshole outside and tell him to leave. Then go pack a bag and be sure to get enough stuff for a few days. We got places to be.”
The thought of leaving Jax behind hits me hard. I’m not scared of the destination Tony has, but the fact I will leave Jax. As mu
ch as I want him to run through those doors, my fear of him being hurt outweighs it. I know Tony’s crazy enough to kill him.
I grab my phone and dial Jax while the gun presses further into my temple and wait for him to answer.
When I hear his voice, my knees buckle and I take a deep breath so I won’t break down and ask for help. “Hey, baby, I don’t think I can make it tonight.”
“Why? Are you okay?” I hear the Jeep door open in the background.
“Y…yeah, I’m okay. I just don’t feel well, and I want to stay in and get some sleep.” I hope I sound more convincing to him than to myself.
“That’s fine. I’ll just come up.”
“No!” I panic and see Tony sneer with hateful black eyes. I need to calm down, so I turn away from his face because seeing him won’t help. “No, it’s fine. I got my period and I just want to be alone. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
He’s silent and I think he’s hung up the phone at first. I feel like crying knowing it will be the last time I hear his voice. But then he answers quietly. “Okay, Tru. Just get some sleep, and I’ll see you first thing in the morning. I love you.” He stresses the last part.
The tears are burning my eyes, but I bite my lip to keep my emotions on track. I don’t want that to be the last time I hear him say those words to me. “I love you too.” It’s barely audible because my throat is clogged, and my vision gets blurry. I hang up then feel the phone being snatched from my hands before it’s thrown across the room.
Tony’s standing there smiling at first, but then walks to look out the window. “Good, the fucker took the hint.” He turns his cold stare on me and sits on my bed like we’re best friends.
“Why are you doing this, Tony?” My anger again surfaces. Why does he need to destroy this little piece of happiness I finally find? “Why do you feel the need to ruin my life again?”