Not wishing to hurt the man’s feelings, Barbara nodded.
“I’ll give you a few more months to make up your mind.”
“I. . .uh. . .appreciate that,” she mumbled.
He handed her his empty glass. “I think we could both benefit if we were to marry, and I believe our kinner would gain something from our union, too.”
Barbara’s hand shook as she lifted it to touch her flushed face. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to get my boys. It’s past their lunchtime.”
“I can call them for you, since I’ll be headed that way to my buggy,” he offered.
“That would be fine.” Barbara scurried into the house. Maybe she would feel better after she’d had some lunch. She was determined to do a little work in the harness shop, no matter how drained she felt.
When John poked his head into the barn, he discovered Zachary and Joseph sitting on a pile of straw playing with two kittens. The oldest boy, Aaron, sat on a wooden stool, fiddling with an old wooden yo-yo. “Your mamm wanted me to tell you that she’s got lunch ready,” John said, smiling at the boys.
Zachary and Joseph set the kittens down and scampered out. But Aaron just sat twisting the string of the yo-yo around his finger.
Deciding to take advantage of the situation, John stepped up to Aaron and touched his shoulder. “I was thinking it might be kind of fun to go on a picnic and maybe do some fishing sometime. What do you think of that idea, huh?”
Aaron looked up, and his eyebrows lifted slightly. “Just you and me?”
John shook his head. “I was planning to ask your mamm and brieder to go along.”
“Mama and my brothers might want to go, but I’m not interested.”
“How come?”
“Just don’t wanna go, that’s all.” Aaron shrugged. “Paul Hilty asked Mama to go fishing with him on Saturday, but if she goes, only my brothers are goin’.”
John stiffened. Was Paul planning to stay in Webster County for good? Did he have his cap set for Barbara? He grimaced. Maybe the man was after Barbara’s harness shop and figured the best way to get it was to marry the woman.
Well, it’s not going to happen. I’ll keep after Barbara until she marries me. It’s my job as her bishop to see that no one takes advantage of her.
Chapter 11
Paul glanced at the clock. It was almost one, and he’d just finished eating his lunch. His mother had outdone herself when she’d packed him leftover meat loaf, tangy potato salad, and zesty baked beans. The food had gone down a lot better than two hunks of bread with a slice of ham sandwiched between, which was what he usually fixed.
As Paul slipped his lunch pail under the counter, he thought about the day he’d been invited to join Barbara and her boys for their noon meal. It had been simple fare, just soup and rolls, but he had enjoyed it immensely. The food wasn’t the only thing Paul had taken pleasure in. He actually liked being around Barbara’s boys. All but Aaron. He wasn’t sure he and the boy would ever see eye to eye, but he hoped they could at least come to an understanding, especially if Aaron continued to help in the harness shop.
Paul was preparing to cut a piece of leather when the shop door opened and Barbara and Aaron stepped into the room. His heartbeat quickened. Every time he was around the woman, he felt more drawn to her. That scared him.
“We thought we’d help out for a few hours,” Barbara said. “That is, if you don’t mind.”
He shook his head. “It’s your shop; you can do whatever you like.” Paul could have bitten his tongue. He hadn’t meant for his words to come out so clipped. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “I just meant—”
“Anything in particular you’re needing help with?” she asked.
He nodded toward the back of the shop. “Your daed’s trimming the edges of some leather. When he’s done, they’ll need to be dyed.”
Barbara’s forehead creased. “More black hands for Aaron?”
Paul shrugged. “Maybe you can show him a better way or find some rubber gloves he could wear.”
Barbara nodded. “I think I may have a pair somewhere that will fit him.” She moved away, and Aaron followed.
Paul went back to work on the leather strap he was planning to cut, feeling a sense of irritation he didn’t fully understand. Was it the fact that this was Barbara’s shop and not his that bothered him so much? Maybe his irritation stemmed from her thinking she knew more about dying leather than he did. Well, if she had a better way of doing it that wouldn’t stain the boy’s hands, then she was more than welcome to show him.
Paul gripped the piece of leather in his hands as the truth behind his agitation surfaced and threatened to boil over. Every time Barbara came out to the shop, even for a short visit, it was a reminder to him that she would soon be back working full-time, taking over her shop again. When that happened, there would be no reason for Paul to stay in Webster County. Unless, of course, he could convince Barbara to sell the shop to him. If she married John Frey, she might be willing to.
Paul dropped the hunk of leather on the workbench with a thud. But I don’t want Barbara to marry the bishop. I want—
What did he want, anyway?
With a grunt of determination, Paul resumed his work. If he kept focused on the job at hand, he wouldn’t have so much time to think about other things. Things he had no right to be thinking about.
A short time later, Barbara returned to the front of the shop. “I think Aaron can manage on his own now,” she said. “So I’m available to help with whatever else needs to be done.”
Paul thought. He didn’t want her doing anything too strenuous, yet he was sure she wanted to feel needed. “How about pressing some grooves into the edges of the straps that have been cut and dyed?”
Barbara nodded. “I can do that. I haven’t worked the pressing machine in some time, but it should feel good to get back at it.”
Paul watched as she moved to the machine and took up her work. He could see by the smile on her face that she loved working in the harness shop. And who am I to say otherwise? Just because I don’t think this is the kind of work a woman should do doesn’t mean it’s not right for Barbara. Besides, the sooner she gets back to work full-time, the sooner I can return to Pennsylvania.
Paul shook his head. Who was he kidding? He liked it here and wished he could stay. He forced his gaze away from Barbara and on to the job at hand. This kind of thinking was dangerous.
Barbara straightened with a weary sigh, easing the kinks out of her back. She’d only been working an hour, and already she felt as if the strength had been drained from her body. Maybe I wasn’t ready to come back yet, not even for a short time. Tears flooded her eyes, and she willed them away. She loved being in the shop, where the subtle smell of leather mixed with the tangy aroma of linseed and neat’s-foot oil. Just take it slow, she told herself. If you work a few hours each week, soon you’ll be up to working full-time again.
“Are you okay, daughter?”
Barbara whirled around. She hadn’t realized her father had come up behind her. “I–I’m a bit tired,” she admitted. “Maybe I should call it a day.”
He nodded soberly. “I should think so. You’re paler than a bucket of fresh milk. And look at your hands—they’re shaking.”
Barbara clasped her fingers tightly together.
“I can’t believe you’re out here today,” he said with a frown. “You ought to be up at the house, taking care of that new boppli of yours.”
Barbara’s cheeks warmed. “Dad, I’m a grown woman, and I know my limitations. Mom’s watching Joseph, Zachary, and Davey, and if the boppli needs me, she will send Joseph straightaway.” Barbara’s voice quavered, but she hoped her father wouldn’t notice.
Paul stepped up beside them. “Is everything all right?”
Barbara opened her mouth to respond, but her father cut her off. “She’s not ready for this yet. Just look at the way she’s trembling like a baby tree in the midst of a storm.”
Paul frowned. “I sh
ould have been watching closer. Sorry about that, Samuel.”
Barbara stomped her foot. “I am not a little girl who needs to be pampered. No one has to watch me or tell me when I should quit working.”
The men stood silently, apparently dumbfounded by her outburst.
“Your daed’s right about how tired you look,” Paul finally said. “But if you want to continue working, it’s your right to do so. After all, this is your shop, and you’re the boss.”
Not this again, Barbara fumed. Why does he feel the need to keep reminding me that I’m the boss?
She drew in a deep breath. “Actually, I should probably check on the boppli. So if I’m not needed for anything else, I’ll go on up to the house.”
“I’m sure we can manage,” Paul said, glancing at Barbara’s father.
“Jah, with Aaron’s help, we’ll do just fine.”
“All right.”
As Barbara headed for the door, Paul tapped her on the shoulder. “Can I speak with you a minute, outside?”
Barbara nodded.
When they stood outside the shop, she asked, “What is it?”
Paul stared at the ground and pushed the toe of his boot around, making little circles in the dirt. Barbara listened to the soft swooshing sound and wondered when or if he was going to tell her what was on his mind.
“I was wondering if you’ve thought anymore about Saturday,” he mumbled.
“Saturday?”
“Jah, my invitation to take you and the boys to the pond for a picnic and some fishing.”
Barbara hated to disappoint the boys, and she didn’t want to send the three oldest ones with Paul while she stayed home with the baby. What if one of them fell in the water and he didn’t see him in time? A lot could happen with three little boys.
“It will be a lot of fun,” he prompted.
“Jah, okay. We’ll go.”
His lips lifted at the corners. “That’s. . .uh. . .great. I’ll check with my brother and see if he has a pole I can borrow.”
Barbara thought about loaning him David’s pole, but that idea didn’t sit well with her. It wouldn’t seem right to see someone else using her husband’s fishing rod. “See you Saturday if not before,” she said with a nod.
He turned back to the shop. “You can count on it.”
Chapter 12
Barbara didn’t go out to the harness shop the rest of the week. She needed to rest as much as possible if she was going to feel up to going on the picnic. Despite her misgivings about spending time with Paul outside the harness shop, she looked forward to taking the boys to the pond. She had packed some food they would eat for supper. Paul had promised to come by the house as soon as he closed the harness shop at three.
Barbara glanced at the kitchen clock, and a sense of apprehension crept up her spine. Should she have accepted Paul’s invitation? She’d gone to bed early the night before, but she was exhausted. Maybe a little time spent at the pond would do her good. She used to like going there when David was alive. The children deserved to have a little fun at the pond, and maybe she did, too.
She opened the back door and spotted Aaron and Joseph sitting on the top porch step with a jar full of ladybugs. “You two need to go out to the barn and look for your fishing poles,” she said.
Joseph jumped up, but Aaron sat unmoving.
“Aaron, did you hear what I said?”
“I don’t wanna go fishing.”
“Why not? You love to fish.”
“Only with Pa when he was alive.” Aaron’s shoulders trembled.
She took a seat on the step beside him. “Grandpa’s busy today, and Paul was nice enough to invite us. Don’t you think you should go?”
He shook his head.
“It might hurt Paul’s feelings if you don’t come.”
“I don’t care.”
“But you can’t stay home alone.”
“I can go over to Grandma and Grandpa’s.”
She took hold of his hand. “You’d rather be with them than fishing?”
“Jah,” he said with a sober nod.
“We won’t get home until after supper.”
Aaron shrugged.
Barbara gave a weary sigh. “All right, then. If it’s okay with Grandma and Grandpa, you can stay at their place.”
Paul couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this enthused about going fishing. Was it the anticipation of catching a mess of catfish, or was it the idea of spending time with Barbara and her boys? A little of both, he admitted as he shut down the gas lantern hanging above his workbench.
He reached under the bench and grabbed the fishing pole his brother Monroe had loaned him, then headed out the door.
When Paul reached the house, Zachary and Joseph were sitting on the porch, each holding a small fishing pole. He grinned at their enthusiasm. Those two must like fishing as much as I do.
“We’ve been waitin’ for you,” Joseph said eagerly. “Want me to call Mama?”
Paul stepped around them and onto the porch. “Sure, if you don’t mind.”
“Don’t mind a’tall.” Joseph jumped up, leaned his pole against the porch railing, and scurried into the house. A few minutes later he returned, lugging a wicker picnic basket. Barbara followed, holding the baby.
“Are you sure you don’t mind me bringing David along?” she asked. “I just fed him, so he could be left with my mamm for a few hours.”
Paul shook his head. “I think he’ll be fine under the makeshift tent I’ve got stashed in my buggy. Besides, if you bring the boppli along, we won’t have to hurry back if the fish are biting real good.”
She smiled. “That’s true, and I appreciate your making a little tent for the carriage.” She nodded at the baby carriage on one end of the porch.
Paul reached down and scooped up the carriage, then glanced around. “Say, where’s Aaron?”
“He ain’t comin’,” Joseph announced.
Paul glanced at Barbara.
“He said he’d rather stay with his grossmudder today,” she said.
“Ich wolle mir fische geh,” Zachary said, looking up at Paul with wide eyes.
Paul smiled and started for the buggy. “I’m glad you want to go fishing, Zachary.” If Aaron didn’t want to go, Paul couldn’t do much about it.
He loaded the carriage and Barbara’s two boys into the backseat. Then he helped Barbara and the baby get settled up front with him.
As they pulled out of the yard, Paul caught a glimpse of Aaron heading for the barn. Barbara waved, but the boy didn’t look their way.
“Aaron’s missing his daed,” she said. “They used to go fishing together every chance they got.”
He nodded. “I figured as much.”
“I guess going to the pond today would be a painful reminder that his daed’s not here anymore.”
“He’ll come around in time.” Even as the words slipped off Paul’s tongue, he wondered if they were true. Aaron might never completely get over his father’s death, and he would probably never take a liking to Paul.
Barbara kissed the top of her baby’s head. “At least Aaron will have some memories of David, which is more than this little guy will have.” She glanced over her shoulder. “For that matter, Zachary probably won’t remember his daed at all. I’m not even sure about Joseph.”
Paul wished he could say or do something to ease the pain on Barbara’s face. It wasn’t fair that she had to bear the loss of her husband and try to raise four boys on her own. It didn’t seem right for Margaret, his brother’s widow, to go through life on her own, either. At least Margaret and Dan’s four children were grown, so she didn’t have the responsibility of caring for little ones. Even so, Margaret must be lonely without Dan.
Paul’s thoughts turned to John Frey. Had the man considered Margaret as a candidate for marriage? She was closer to his age than Barbara. But she’d only been a widow a few weeks. It wouldn’t seem proper for the bishop to court a newly widowed woman. Would the man con
sider someone else in this small Amish community for a wife?
When Barbara’s baby gurgled, Paul set his thoughts aside. He glanced over at Barbara. “Is the little fellow doing okay?”
She nodded. “I think he’s enjoying the ride.”
Paul looked over his shoulder. “The boys in the back must be, too. They’re fast asleep.”
Barbara chuckled. “As soon as we pull up to the pond, they’ll be wide awake and raring to go.”
“I sure hope the fish are biting today,” he said. “Wouldn’t want to disappoint the kinner.”
“Zachary’s not old enough to do much fishing yet, so I doubt he would care whether or not they were biting.”
“Joseph might, though.”
“Maybe. But he’s so taken with you, he’d probably be happy just sitting on the grass by your side.”
“Sure don’t know why. I’ve never been that comfortable with little ones. I think most of ’em feel the same way about me.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Don’t rightly know, but I am sure of the reason I’m leery of them.”
“Why’s that?”
“I dropped my brother Elam when he was a boppli, and it left him with a fat lip and a lump on his forehead.” He blew out his breath. “I was afraid of holding any bopplin after that.”
“That must have been scary for both of you. But you were only a boy, and what happened was just an accident.”
“Jah, well, I still get naerfich around kinner—especially little ones. I never know what to say to them.” He grunted. “Take your boy Aaron, for example. He doesn’t like me; that’s obvious enough.”
“Don’t take anything Aaron says or does personally, Paul. He’s still struggling with his daed’s death.”
He shrugged. “Guess you might be right about that. Even so—”
“I believe Joseph sees something you don’t,” she said, reaching over to touch his arm.
The feel of Barbara’s slender fingers on his bare skin made Paul’s arm tingle. He inhaled deeply, searching for something else to talk about. “We’re getting close to the pond. I can smell it. Can you?” he asked as she pulled her hand away.
On Her Own Page 10