Eminent Love

by Leddy Harper

  Colin had a degree in criminal justice, ready to tackle the world.

  Layne had also received her associate’s degree in graphic design. Although, by the middle of last semester, she’d started talking about getting a bachelor’s degree in business management. Her logic was sound; however, I would’ve supported her even if it had been irrational. I still had three years of school left, so she didn’t see any hurry in stepping out into the real world alone. The truth was she really didn’t want to work for anyone else, and a degree in business management would afford her that opportunity down the road. An associate’s degree was only going to take her so far, and she had little desire to continue toward a bachelor’s in design. She figured with a major in business, she could one day be self-employed and do what she loved to do without having to answer to anyone.

  I don’t think I’d ever been more proud of her before.

  Drea, on the other hand, had switched majors so many times I wouldn’t be surprised if her parents decided to stop paying for school. So no one really knew how much longer she had left. I personally believed she only took classes to give her something to do without having to work. She really had no need to buckle down. She lived the good life and used every advantage to her benefit.

  A few weeks after graduation, Colin had moved back home. His parents had stopped giving him money since he was no longer in school, and he needed to find a job. He’d decided to enroll in the police academy. With him living almost an hour away, he and Drea decided to split. They’d tried the long-distance thing, but it didn’t take long before they realized it wasn’t what they expected. I’d been surprised at how well Drea had handled the breakup.

  Other than a little whining here and there, she seemed relatively okay.

  The hardest part had been rent. None of us cared to move again, so we worked it out the best way we could and re-signed the lease to our apartment—minus Colin. Luckily, my parents had continued giving me the extra rent money, so I used that to help cover part of the loss of Colin’s portion, while Drea and Layne used their paychecks to make up the difference.

  It was just the three of us left in the apartment.

  “You know what sucks?” Drea asked from her spot at the bar while I stood in the kitchen making a sandwich. “Well, besides having to pay rent and being the third wheel when Layne is home, I’d have to say the worst part about Colin being gone is not having sex when I need it.”

  I quirked a brow at her, even though she had her chin on her fist while staring out into space, not paying a single bit of attention to the stare-down I offered her. “Then go get some. You’re single now. What’s stopping you?”

  “It’s not the same. There’s no passion…no spark. Random sex is never as good as the real thing. I mean, it’s good. But if some guy pins me against the wall, he’s doing it for effect. It’s not the impatient, gotta have you now or I’ll die kind of sex. The rip your clothes off before the door is closed kinda passion. It’s just the I’m so horny I need my fix kind. And after the other, nothing is good enough.”

  I went back to making my sandwich, choosing to ignore her. I had no idea what she saw when she looked at me, but I’m sure nothing about me screamed to have my girlfriend’s sister describe in explicit detail her sexual desires. I’d had the desperate, hurried sex before, when I couldn’t get inside a girl fast enough, but that’s all it ever was. Get in. Get out. Move on. But since being with Layne, I had no desire for impatient sex. Being with her…I never wanted it to end. I had a constant urge to get in. Stay there. And never leave.

  “Oh, who am I kidding? You wouldn’t understand.”

  I tossed my knife down and turned to face her, catching her waving me off with a flick of her wrist. “Do I look like some kind of pansy to you?”

  She cocked her head and twisted her lips as she scrutinized me. “No. I wouldn’t say that. But I also know my sister. If you two have ever had sex anywhere but a bed, any other way than missionary, I’d be highly surprised.”

  “It worries me you’ve thought about this.”

  She smiled and wagged her eyebrows. “It’s fun to picture how people fuck. Just as long as it’s not your parents. Because that would be gross—not to mention, slightly insane. And I’ve got to say, Creed, imagining you and Layne bores me.”

  I was about to paint an extremely graphic visual about just how wrong Drea was regarding my sex life with her sister, but before I could utter a single word, the front door opened and closed. I turned away from Drea and stepped out of the kitchen, catching Layne coming in. I didn’t hesitate before taking her in my arms and locking my mouth on hers. Then I pushed her against the wall in the hallway. It’d been thoughtless and unplanned, and it caught Layne completely by surprise.

  A picture fell off the wall and shattered on the floor at the same time the water bottle slipped from her hand and landed at my feet with a splash. We immediately separated and turned our attentions to the wet shards of glass.

  “Don’t move. I’ll get something to clean this up.” My words were nothing more than a whisper, because I’d grown too breathless to speak any louder.

  “Holy shit,” she said in a wave of heated air. “Keep that up and it’ll look like a twister whipped through here.” Layne stepped around me and headed into the kitchen while fanning her face. “You don’t have any shoes on. Let me get the broom.”

  I followed her to grab the kitchen towel so I could help her clean up the mess. But as soon as I saw Drea, I stopped and glared at her. She sat on her stool with her forehead pressed to the top of the bar, her shoulders shaking manically. Then she gasped, which was followed by hysterical laughter. The sound of it almost made me join her, but I was too embarrassed or pissed—or both—to even smile.

  “What’s going on?” Layne asked from behind me. I could tell by her tone how confused and lost she was.

  “Your sister here doesn’t think we have any passion in our relationship.”

  Drea lifted her head, tears falling from her smiling eyes as she fought to catch her breath. “I didn’t say that.” She shook her head as if trying to clear her mind, yet she couldn’t seem to stop laughing long enough to finish her thought. Finally, she cleared her throat and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Okay…maybe I did. But you can’t really argue with me. You tried, I’ll give you that…but if you keep it up, I’ll have to hide all the breakables.”

  I rolled my eyes and went back to the hallway to tend to the mess I’d created by trying to be spontaneous. I soaked up the water and Layne swept the shards of broken glass into a dustpan. While we were both kneeling, she whispered to me, “Are you serious? This whole thing was because she said we don’t have any passion?”

  I couldn’t hold her gaze. I dropped my attention back to the floor and nodded.

  The only noise around us came from Drea at the bar. It seemed as though she still found humor in my humiliation—and by the looks of it, Layne’s, too. I took the towel to the sink to wring out the water, and Layne emptied the dustpan in the trashcan, across the counter from her sister. I watched as she bore holes into Drea’s head before hitting the side of the can a little too hard, and a little too long before gaining her attention.

  “Oh, come on Layne. Don’t be mad. I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I just meant you guys have love. Not everyone has that.” Her bullshit couldn’t have gotten any thicker, but I wasn’t about to be the one to call her on it. I didn’t want to upset Layne even more, nor was I dumb enough to get in the middle of a fight between sisters. “And you’re this sweet and innocent person who’s only ever been with one person—again, not a bad thing.”

  “Just stop, Dre.” I finished cleaning out the towel and went back to pack my sandwich.

  Drea slapped her hands on the bar and leaned forward, closer to Layne. “Listen, I’m sorry if it upset you, but you have to admit, you guys are sweet. You’re good. Creed loves the shit out of you and would never do a thing to hurt you. I’m sure the thought of bending you over terrifies him.�
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  God, I wished she’d stop talking. My dick began to stir at the image in my head.

  “I’m not mad,” Layne said confidently. “But I’d like it if you stopped making accusations regarding things you know nothing about. Creed and I have a lot of passion. Just because he doesn’t attack me when we’re in the same room together doesn’t mean we aren’t passionate about each other.”

  “Yeah…but don’t you wish he’d just take charge and make you scream?”

  I couldn’t even look at them. The tension in the air was enough to picture the scene without watching it unfold. Layne could say she wasn’t mad until she was blue in the face, but I could practically feel the angry heat rolling off her in waves. I needed to finish making my lunch and get her out of here before they both ended up saying things they regretted.

  “What you’re talking about is fucking, Drea. Anyone can fuck. Hell, you don’t even have to know the other person’s name. It’s lust, plain and simple. I’d much rather have love, feel the way he loves me, than to have my hair pulled or be slammed against a counter. You make it sound wrong to be undressed, admired as each piece of clothing is removed. But honestly, what’s so bad about that? And why is it better or sexier to have a guy lift your skirt, bend you over, and fuck you instead of taking his time, making sure you’re taken care of as well?”

  I needed both girls to stop talking before I had a full-blown hard-on.

  “I never said it was better one way or the other. But don’t you want to know you’ve turned him on so much he just has to have you this minute? Right this second? That he’s so hot for you he physically can’t waste the time to take your clothes off?”

  Before I could interject, Layne spoke, and what she said left me calm, a little heavy. The weight of her words settled into my shoulders and prevented me from moving. “That’s what you don’t seem to get, Drea. I already know he wants me like that—all the time. I don’t need him to act on it in order to show me; otherwise, we’d be at it all the time and never get anything done. But if you have to be fucked like a one-night stand to feel attractive, then go for it. I just hope you never look at your boyfriend or husband one day and question if he finds you desirable because he’s watching football instead of bending you over the couch.”

  Drea huffed, and when I turned to face them with my plate in my hand, I noticed the way her shoulders slouched and her posture had weakened. Layne’s words had really gotten to her. What had begun as a joke ended up turning into bruised feelings, and I regretted ever bringing Layne into it. I gently held onto Layne’s arm and directed her into the bedroom, ending this once and for all.

  “What the hell was that about?” She tossed her purse onto the bed and sat on the edge while I took the computer chair at the desk. She sounded pissed, although her body language seemed more upset than anything.

  “It was nothing. Just your sister being your sister.”

  “How did it even come up, though?”

  I shrugged and took a bite. When she continued to stare at me after I swallowed, I decided to answer. “We were talking about Colin being gone and the things she missed. I told her to go find someone to fill the void, but she said it wasn’t the same and then went on to explain the difference. Which, of course, led into her twisted logic about our relationship. Then you came home. The rest is history.”

  “Does it bother you? I mean…not having wild and crazy sex?”

  I spun in my chair to face her, every muscle in my face twisted with confusion. “Are you kidding me? No. Don’t let her get to you, Layne. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She has no idea what it’s like to be in the kind of relationship we have.”

  “So then that kiss…when I got home…that had nothing to do with what she said?”

  I leaned back farther in the chair, tilting it until I could easily see the ceiling. I concentrated on the fan for a moment to gather my thoughts, and then turned back to her worried expression. “I don’t know…she made me question if you thought the same way. I thought maybe you wanted those things but just haven’t said anything about it. Then she mentioned you—or, more accurately, our sex life—and it made me think you’ve talked to her about it.”

  “She’s my sister, of course we’ve talked about it. But I’ve never complained. Not once. Because there’s nothing to complain about. I mean sure, being welcomed home like that—minus the mess—is hot…but I’m not some girl who needs you to grope me every five seconds in order to feel the love. Trust me, I can tell by the way you look at me how much you desire me.”

  “Okay then. So we’re on the same page.” I sat forward and took another bite, thinking the conversation was over with. But it wasn’t.

  “Just to clarify…it doesn’t bother you how we always do it in the same position?”

  I nearly spit out my food as I choked and coughed. “We don’t always do it in the same position, Layne. We switch it up. Why? Does it bother you?”

  She rolled her eyes at me, kicked off her shoes, and turned her attention to the floor in front of her. “It’s either me on top, or you’re on top. Kinda the same position either way. It doesn’t bother me, probably because I’ve never had it any other way. But I assume you have. And it makes me question if it’s not enough for you.”

  I leaned forward until my elbows rested on my knees, making sure I had her undivided attention before speaking. “I need you to really listen to me when I say this. And I need you to believe me, because I’m telling you the truth. I don’t care if you’re against a wall, against a dresser, bent over in the shower, or beneath me on the bed. I don’t care because the only part of it I even care about is you. It doesn’t matter how we do it, or where we do it at, as long as I’m with you.”

  She nodded, and once again, I thought the conversation was over. But with Layne being Layne, I should’ve known better. She stood up and made her way to me after pulling her shirt over her head. She tossed it to the floor and then sat on my lap, straddling me in the computer chair. Her lips met mine, her tongue fighting mine for control, all while she attempted to grind against me.

  I gripped her hips roughly and leaned into her. The chair wasn’t the best place to try something new. I thought if I could get her up, we could move somewhere else, but as soon as she backed away, I could tell by the emotion in her eyes she had misunderstood my intentions.

  “Our jeans, Layne. We have to take our pants off first.” I hoped by getting her to stand up, I could do the same and maybe direct her to the bed…or even the dresser. Anything but where we were. The desk was too small and too cheap to withstand sex, and the chair was too awkward. But Layne had been right earlier—I did want her all the time, and had no intention of ending this without showing her just how much.

  Somehow, she managed to get her jeans off first, and before I could direct her somewhere else, she practically jumped on me, pushing me back into the seat. It was on wheels, and the backrest reclined with very little pressure, so when she collapsed onto it with me, the entire thing fell backward, throwing us to the floor.

  Layne rolled to her back and covered her face. The rumble of humor in my chest died before it even made its way out at the fear of her being hurt. I hovered over her and grabbed her wrist, pulling her hand away from her face. I didn’t need to ask if she was okay, because her expression said it all. She was laughing so hysterically no sound came out, like she couldn’t even breathe. My face fell to the crook of her shoulder as I joined her, letting out my amusement against her warm skin.

  “Maybe the bed is safer,” she said once she finally caught her breath.

  I grazed her skin with the tip of my finger from her collarbone down to her hip. “So is the floor.” As soon as I reached between her thighs, I lowered my mouth to swallow her moan. And then we enjoyed sex somewhere other than the bed.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Now

  After speaking to Jason, I felt better—more confident. I wouldn’t say more determined, because I didn’t think it was possi
ble. From the moment I’d woken up Thursday morning and packed my bag, my determination had remained at an all-time high. Nothing would keep me from getting to Layne. Nothing would stop me from making this right.

  I realized I hadn’t spoken to my parents in a while. We’d talked about me heading down to see them after the deposition, although we hadn’t made any real plans. It was time to give them a call and explain what was going on. I knew I didn’t need their approval—I was a grown man and could make my own choices—but I wanted to at least know they had my back. I’d possibly thrown away everything I’d worked toward, and their encouragement would’ve gone a long way. They’d always supported me, whether they agreed with my choices or not, so it wasn’t the words I sought when dialing their number. It was the comfort I knew I’d get from it.

  “How did the deposition go?” my mom asked after answering the phone.

  I should’ve expected it, yet I didn’t. I’d been too busy thinking about how I’d tell them I was a thousand miles away to contemplate explaining how I’d turned my back on my job. And while on the phone with Jason, he’d had me so sidetracked with talking about Layne, I hadn’t even thought to ask. “I don’t know. I left.”

  “You left? Why? What happened?”

  I studied the passing scenery, wondering how she’d take my news. She was devastated when Layne had left. I’m sure she had been mildly disappointed in my choice to stay back instead of going with her, though she never said otherwise. She understood my reason, considering they’d been the ones to pay my tuition, yet she never picked a side. Not once did she or my dad condemn Layne for following her dreams. They knew and loved her, expecting us to get married after college had ended. But after what Layne had been through, facing death, they didn’t blame her one bit for wanting to live her life. They’d only wished we could’ve lived it together.

  I conjured an image of Layne in my mind, and then prepared myself to explain everything to my mom. “I am on my way to California. I’m finally going after her, Mom. I can’t live without her. After trying to get ahold of her several times, I finally made up my mind to stop waiting and do something about it.”