No Experience Required

by Kimberly Cooper Griffin

  Jane, traced the outlines of her fingers. “What kind of decisions?”

  Izzy blew out a breath and watched the cats curl around each other at the foot of the bed. “I take medicine for depression.”

  Why did she minimize her condition? It wasn’t just depression. She was bipolar. Amplify the depression part and throw in a bunch of mania and a side order of psychosis when things really got bad. Saying she had depression was like saying she had a stubbed toe when the whole leg had been blown off.

  “Half the world is taking antidepressants these days.” Jane must have noticed how nervous Izzy was. She put a hand on Izzy’s shoulder and waited for Izzy to look up. “I don’t want to diminish your situation, Izzy. It’s just that you’re probably one of the most even-keeled people I’ve ever known.”

  If she only knew. But, for some reason, even though she was so close to telling her the whole story, Izzy couldn’t come right out with it.

  “The medicine works,” she said instead.

  “If it makes you feel any better, I took antidepressants for a short time several years ago when I first came out. I had a hard time dealing with my father’s reaction. As dean of students, I also work with students who deal with depression and more. It sounds like you’re managing it.”

  “I have been since I was in my early twenties. My situation isn’t situational, though. It’s clinical. I’ll be on medication for the rest of my life.”

  Jane leaned forward and gave her a kiss. “You’ll have to try harder to chase me away. I’m glad you told me, though.”

  Izzy wanted to tell her the rest, but all of a sudden, it seemed as if she was making too big a deal about it. “Some people are uncomfortable with this kind of thing.”

  “I’m not sure why. I think more than half of my friends are taking antidepressants. Maybe some mental illnesses are kind of scary, but most are just like any other illness and treated effectively by the proper care and or medication. It makes me mad how our society treats this kind of thing, attaching this stigma to it.”

  Irritation whipped through her. It wasn’t Jane’s fault she felt qualified to school her, of all people, about mental illness. She probably thought she was being reassuring, and in a way, she was. She let it go. “I think people are afraid of what they don’t understand. When meds don’t work or people don’t manage their illness well, the symptoms can be pretty scary.”

  Jane squeezed her hand. “You’re the least scary person I know, Izzy.”

  “Like I said, the meds work for me.”

  Jane dropped the book onto the floor beside the bed and snuggled into Izzy, who scooched down so they were lying together again. Jane ran her fingers along Izzy’s bare arm. “Were you afraid of telling me?”

  “Yeah.” She shivered as Jane’s strokes drew goose bumps on her skin.

  Jane kissed her shoulder. “Why?”

  “Because of everything we just talked about.”

  Jane propped herself up on her elbow and looked into Izzy’s eyes. “Well, it doesn’t change the way I feel about you one bit.”

  Jane kissed her, and all conversation ceased when the kiss grew insistent.

  * * *

  There’s never enough time in the day when you’re in love. Am I right?

  When love enters the picture, all you want to do is be together. But real life competes for time, too: work, family, friends, various obligations. Eventually, it becomes obvious you’re spending all of your available time together, and you decide it would be more convenient to live together since all you’re doing is going home to feed the cats, water the plants, go through the mail.

  Sometimes, it’s more of an economical decision. Why pay for two households when you’re spending most of your time at just one of them? One of you might live closer to work or where you both like to hang out. Maybe you’ve been needing to get a roommate, and moving in together solves the problem.

  Occasionally, living together never even comes up. Some people are particular about their freedom even when they’re in love with someone. All kinds of relationships are out there, and you don’t need to judge folks, especially when they’re happy.

  Take some advice, though: make sure you talk about it before you make the big move. Nothing is worse than finding out the love of your life hasn’t told you their Great Dane insists on sleeping in the bed with you.

  Chapter Thirty

  Jane tossed her car keys onto the island countertop. “I think my cats are planning a mutiny.”

  Izzy flipped the sandwich she was making and lowered the heat under the pan. It was early November and the cooler weather called for grilled-cheese.

  Jane took off her hoodie and hung it over a barstool.

  “What do you mean?” Izzy came around the kitchen island and wrapped Jane in an embrace, kissing her. The kiss lingered, and when Jane playfully bit her bottom lip, a pang of arousal shot through her. She pressed Jane against the counter and slid a hand up the bottom of her tank top. Her skin was so warm. So soft.

  Jane gently removed her hand and stepped back. “You were cooking something.”

  “Oh, right!” Izzy ran back to the stove, removed the pan from the flame, and placed the sandwich on the plate she had waiting on the counter. She cut the perfect sandwich in half—crispy on the outside, all melted cheese on the inside. But her mind wasn’t on the sandwich. “What were we talking about? You’re dangerous to have around when I cook.”

  Jane laughed. “Um, my cats. They’re not happy.” She took a bite of the sandwich Izzy put in front of her. “This is sinfully good.”

  “The secret ingredient is gruyere, and the trick is to butter the bread on the outside and the inside.” She took a bite of her own sandwich and moaned.

  They ate in silence for a moment.

  Izzy finished half her sandwich. “What are the cats doing to show they’re not happy? They seem okay when they’re here.”

  “It’s subtle, but I’ve noticed signs of displeasure.”

  “Like what?”

  “Well, they hide when I bring the kennel out. They hate the car ride, I think.”

  “Maybe they need more treats?”

  “They turn their backs on me when I leave the house now. Before, they wanted love. And Romeo has taken to sitting on my keyboard when I’m on my computer. Also, Juliet puked in my slipper yesterday.”

  “Subtle,” Izzy said. She’d hate it if Fat Bob turned his back on her. “Well, except the puke. That’s pretty direct.”

  “I know, right? Seriously, I think they’re feeling neglected, and I feel bad.” Jane finished her sandwich, rested her elbows on the counter, and covered her face with her hands.

  Izzy refrained from touching her, afraid she’d get carried away, and it looked like Jane really needed to talk about this. “What do you think we should do?”

  “I don’t want to stop doing what we’re doing.”

  Izzy tried to think of a solution. “Maybe we could go to your place more often. We don’t always have to be here.”

  Jane seemed to think about it. “My place is out of the way, though.”

  As if they sensed a major decision was being made about them, all four cats appeared in the kitchen. Romeo and Juliet wound around Jane’s feet. Prince jumped into Izzy’s lap, and Fat Bob flopped onto his back on the floor at her feet. Izzy dug her toes into his furry belly and scratched Prince’s head. The purring in the room was loud.

  “Look at them,” Jane said, petting Prince’s sleek back. “No matter if we stay at my house or your house, we’ll have a feline displeasure issue. Plus, my house is so small. We’d basically be on top of each other.”

  “I don’t mind being on top,” Izzy teased.

  Jane swatted her. “Of course, you don’t. But seriously, I have to figure something out. It’s not fair to leave the cats alone so much.”

  She covered her face with her hands again, and Izzy felt bad for Jane’s obvious turmoil. She had an idea, though.

  “You bring them here most
of the time, but it seems they hate the ride. But maybe…” Izzy grew nervous about suggesting her solution, but she’d been thinking about it for a while now. “But maybe you could all move in here. You spend so much time here, and I love having you here, and I hate when you aren’t here, and I know it’s so soon, and you have a lease, but I really think…” She was rambling. She couldn’t help it. Now that it was out there, she wanted it to happen—to have Jane with her all the time.

  Jane peeked out from between the fingers covering her face. Her movement was slow, and Izzy couldn’t read her expression. It was too soon. She knew it. She shouldn’t have—

  “I was thinking something similar, too.”

  “It’s too soon. It doesn’t have to be immediately. But maybe…wait. What?” She realized what Jane had just said. She looked up, and Jane was staring at her. God, her eyes were gorgeous. “You have?”

  “Yes. My lease is up next month. I was just going to renew it, but I started thinking about how we were doing so well together and maybe, well…” A few seconds later, she continued as if she were steeling herself. “Is it too soon, though? We’ve only been seeing each other for…how long?”

  “Five months.” A little less than five months, but Izzy wasn’t going to haggle.

  “But how long is long enough?” Jane asked. “Is there a rule?”

  “Funny you should ask. I’ve been researching this topic for the book. People have done studies, and the results are all over the place. But most things I found on the internet say six months is about the right time to start considering it.”

  Jane scoffed. “Well, the internet is always right, right?” Her eyes were bright with humor, which was a good sign.

  Izzy held up a finger in the pose of a politician. “The truthiest truth”

  They laughed then, Izzy wondering if hers sounded a little maniacal, but it was a real laugh, releasing the tension. She wiped her eyes and held her aching belly.

  Jane wiped her eyes, too. “We’ve been seeing each other for only five months. We’d be flouting the six-month rule if we shacked up now.”

  Izzy threw up her hands in revelation. Prince jumped from her lap. “But I have a wacky idea.”

  “What is it?”

  It seemed when she’d taken the leap, she’d jettisoned all caution. She felt good. “Let’s do what we want. Screw the internet. Let’s be the crazy outliers.”

  “You think we should?” Jane sounded unsure again.

  Izzy had never been so sure about something in her life. “I do.” She couldn’t believe she was the one doing the convincing.

  “I don’t know.”

  Jane said the words, but her eyes said she did know, and a giddy buzz flared in Izzy’s belly.

  Jane continued, but Izzy knew she had her. “It feels like a drastic thing to do just for a pair of neurotic cats.”

  “Well, if the truth has to be told, the cats are not the main thing driving this for me. I mean, they’re important, for sure. But it’s more about being with you more.” Izzy pulled Jane to her and hugged her tight. “I love…your company.” Izzy had almost told her she loved her but amended her statement at the last minute. They were talking about living together, and she still couldn’t say it.

  “I love your company, too.”

  The low timbre of Jane’s voice so close to Izzy’s ear tickled, and she shivered.

  “I sense a ‘but’ coming up,” Izzy said, nuzzling her face into Jane’s neck.

  Jane leaned back but not so much to break the embrace. She searched Izzy’s eyes.

  “But moving in together is a big deal,” she said.

  Izzy wanted to reassure her, but any hesitation she had was gone, and she was all in on it now. This was a big deal. She should be scared, but she wasn’t. “True. I just know I want to spend as much time with you as I can. We feel right together. I think we should give it a shot.”

  Jane smiled “I do, too. But what if I have a terrible habit, and you begin to hate me for it, and then you regret it?”

  Izzy couldn’t think of a single thing Jane could do that she would hate, except chew ice, but she already knew Jane’s teeth were too sensitive for that. They could negotiate anything else. “Have you been hiding any bad habits from me? Come on. Lay them on me. Now’s the time. Test me. I’m pretty sure I can deal with them, because everything you do is pretty amazing.”

  “I have you so fooled!” Jane laughed. “How about you? Have you been hiding any from me?”

  Apprehension built in her. She still hadn’t told Jane she was bipolar. It wasn’t a bad habit; it was a pretty big deal. Now was her chance to bring it up. But she didn’t want to spoil the mood. She would tell her in time. Yet she hadn’t had any symptoms or episodes in forever, so maybe it wouldn’t be a thing anyway.

  “I’m an open book, lady. What you see is what you get,” Izzy declared. It wasn’t a lie, not really.

  “Well, I like what I see,” Jane said, trailing a finger along Izzy’s collarbone and down into the V of her polo shirt. “Okay, let’s do it!”

  Glee bubbled throughout Izzy. “Really? Just like that?”

  Jane’s wandering fingers stopped. “Are you already having second thoughts?”

  “Me? No way!” Izzy hugged her tight. “Not at all. This is fantastic!

  She’d switched from nearly constant-anxiety mode to things-couldn’t-be-better mode. They were two extremes on the same continuum, and neither was optimal, but she’d take the one that felt better over the other any day.

  * * *

  You’ve made the big step, and you’ve moved in together. It’s awesome! It’s fun! You’re sharing space with another person. You have a good time finding places for all your stuff. You realize you have two of everything—two sets of silverware, two bathroom scales, and two teapots. It’s time to downsize. Yard-sale time!

  Optimizing cupboard space is only part of the process, though. The hard part is yet to come. You have to start thinking like a single unit, acting like a single unit, making decisions like a single unit. You have schedules to sync, routines to establish, expectations to work out.

  Communication has never been more important. It isn’t as easy to hide bad habits when you’re sharing the same space. During this period, secrets have a way of showing themselves. So, this is the time to come clean with anything you might have on your mind.

  Chapter Thirty-one

  Izzy stood near the driver’s door of her car in her garage. She balanced a sweet-potato pie in her hand, and over the roof of her car, she watched Jane place an identical pie on the passenger seat of her own car.

  “You’ll be at my parents’ house at four o’clock, right?” She selfishly wished Jane was going with her instead of over to her own parents’ house first. Izzy still hadn’t met them and wasn’t sure she ever would. Jane hardly spoke about them, and when she did, she didn’t reveal much. What little she had disclosed wasn’t great. And every once in a while, she’d think back to that day in early summer when Jane had rubbed her arm. And the day Jane picked her mother up from the hospital. Izzy wasn’t eager to meet them, but it felt weird not knowing much about that side of Jane’s life, especially since Jane had come to several Sunday dinners with Izzy’s family, who adored her.

  “Mom is anal about eating exactly on time, so we’ll be finished with dinner way before four o’clock. I’ll help my mom with the dishes, and then she’ll probably do needlepoint while my dad switches channels between the games and the Westminster dog show. I’ll just hang out with them for a little while, and then I’ll head over. I’m thinking I’ll get there by three thirtyish.”

  “Mom says dinner’s at four, but it never starts on time, so you’ll probably have some extra time if you need it.”

  Jane jangled her car keys. “I seriously doubt I’ll need it. I can only take so much channel switching. I can’t promise I’ll be hungry, though.”

  Izzy’s stomach growled at the thought of a turkey dinner with all the fixings. “We’ll have pl
enty of food, either way. Grant, Patrick, and my dad have been smoking turkey since yesterday.”

  “I’ll try not to fill up too much. The way they were talking about it last weekend, it’s going to be the best turkey I’ve ever eaten.”

  “It is. I promise.”

  “I’ll see you in a little bit.” Jane blew her a kiss.

  “Can’t wait.”

  Izzy watched Jane pull out, and she followed her until the interstate, where Jane went one way, and she went the other. It was their first holiday together, and she was excited.

  * * *

  “Where’s Jane?” Amelia’s voice was low so she wouldn’t wake the sleeping infant in her arms.

  Izzy’s oldest sister sat in their father’s recliner in the den where it was relatively quiet, and she rocked her newest grandchild, Simone. Izzy couldn’t wait to get her hands on the baby. She was only nine days old and was Haley’s first baby. Izzy shouldn’t have favorites, and she’d never tell anyone she had one, but Haley and she had always had a connection.

  “I swear. You all like Jane more than you like me.” Izzy was kidding. She loved that her family adored Jane.

  Amelia smirked. “Insecure much, little sis?”

  Izzy laughed. “You’re just the tenth person to ask where she was.”

  “And…”

  “She’s at her parents’ house, but she’ll be here for dinner.” Izzy gently lifted the baby from Amelia’s arms and cradled her. Her tiny nose was perfect, as was every part of her. She kissed her little head and stood, rocking back and forth. Simone stretched but didn’t open her eyes.

  Amelia got up from the recliner and sat on the edge of the big desk near it. “Why didn’t you go over there with her before you came here? You don’t have to help Mom cook every year.”

  Izzy slipped her pinkie finger into one of Simone’s small fists. “I wasn’t invited. I haven’t met her parents yet.”