Love, Penelope

by Joanne Rocklin

  And, also, you will enjoy hugging her. (Once, I saw a T-shirt that said HUG A TREE. I want one that says HUG A GOAT.) And brushing her and feeding her and milking her. Then hugging her again and smelling that goaty smell—earth and straw and, OK, poop, but in a good way.

  Hazel had invited Gabby and me over, but I was the only one who came.

  Me, hugging Nell: “Nell just made a suggestion to me.”

  Hazel: “I knew she’d do that! She gives me suggestions, too. What did she say?”

  Me: “She said ‘M-ah-ah-ah! Try, try, again.’ I think she is suggesting we try to get Gabby to forgive us. Well, me, anyway, even though she’s lumping us both together.”

  So Hazel and I wrote a letter on Hazel’s stationery (hers has basketballs in the margins). We apologized profusely. We asked her to forgive us. We said that we didn’t understand before, but now we do. We reminded her that we are the Three Splash Sisters, and Steph Curry and Klay Thompson probably have fights, too.

  We went over to Gabby’s house. Lee-Anne answered the door. I guess she is over there a lot. Then Mike came to the door, too. He smiled kindly at us. He yelled “Penny and Hazel are here!” to Gabby in another room.

  But Gabby yelled back, “TELL THEM I’M BUSY!”

  Lee-Anne: “Give her time, guys, OK?”

  Me: “Tell her we are waiting for her today. She knows where to find us. At the SS. Tell her that. The SS. And please give her this letter.”

  Lee-Anne: “I will talk to her. Keep your chins up.”

  So Hazel and I waited at the Secret Stairway.

  Hazel: “How much time should we give her?”

  Me: “A lot.”

  Time heals all, Mama says. Time and paint made the cigarette smell go away in Hazel’s bedroom (mostly). My heartache about Mike is a little bit less. But how long does it take to get a really good friend to believe you when you say you are sorry that you said something dumb?

  We waited.

  And waited.

  I am not sure how long we waited, but it sure felt like a long time. It seemed like the sun had crawled closer to the west since we’d sat down on those stairs. We were getting worried.

  But then we heard the trash cans clunking!

  And there was Gabby coming up the stairs!

  We all hugged and did victory fist bumps, and Hazel and I apologized for saying something stupid.

  Gabby said thank you for understanding. Hazel said that’s what friends are for.

  We sat on the stairs and we talked about the Warriors’ first-round sweep against the New Orleans Pelicans, which we hadn’t done yet, and it felt so good. How Jrue Holiday of the Pelicans and Justin Holiday of the Warriors are brothers. That must be so hard! And all those three-pointers and assists and rebounds! Our defense! Green and Bogut going after Anthony Davis, that scary good Pelican! Four wins in the books, twelve to go, and maybe they’ll be the NBA CHAMPS!

  Then Gabby told us she had decided to be a policewoman when she is old enough. A fair and honest one.

  She wondered if Steph Curry or Klay Thompson or Draymond Green had ever gotten stopped by the Oakland cops for speeding.

  Hazel: “Only if they WERE speeding.”

  Me: “You don’t get stopped when you’re super famous.”

  Gabby: “But maybe BEFORE they were super famous.”

  It felt so different to think about the Dubs before they were super famous.

  Yes, they were probably stopped, we all agreed. Then we all went over to hug Nell and felt even better. It is amazing how good it feels to hug a goat.

  I guess I have been trying to make you think that life is more sweet than bitter, You. Not the other way around. Sometimes, it’s the other way around, and there’s not a whole lot we can do about it. Sometimes. I promise to always tell you the truth, You.

  So it was not a good week. BUT we swept the series! And Gabby is a Splash Sister again! That’s pretty sweet.

  Love,

  Penny

  TUESDAY, APRIL 28, 2015

  Dear You,

  Today is a very important, AWESOME, special day. “History is being made,” Mama said.

  Sammy: “A wonderful lawyer, Mary Bonauto, is arguing before the Supreme Court for same-sex marriage across the land. We won’t know the verdict for a while, but we are so hopeful.”

  Then Mama and Sammy looked at each other as if they were reading each other’s mind. I figured I knew what they were thinking.

  Me: “Hooray! You’re thinking of getting married!”

  And right away, I made an excellent suggestion: “How about a wedding and then a big celebration after, with radish roses and tiny quiche hors d’oeuvres catered by Gabby’s aunty Lue?”

  They both smiled.

  Sammy: “We will have a celebration when the baby is born.”

  Me: “Like a wedding, right?” “Like a party,” Mama said. "We will have lots to celebrate.”

  I hadn’t read their minds after all.

  Mama: “Don’t worry, sweetie. I can tell that you are worried because we are not married. But Sammy and I have made sure all our rights are protected legally in California. We are both the full-fledged parents of our kids, we have family visitation rights in case one of us is in the hospital, our property is ours as a couple, and we are in each other’s wills. But gay couples in other states aren’t as protected as we are. So it is a good thing to have the federal protection that the Supreme Court decision will give. And Sammy and I are very happy with a marriage of—”

  Me: “I know. The heart.”

  Still.

  Love,

  P

  WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 2015

  Dear You,

  It is your twenty-sixth week, and What to Expect says your eyes are beginning to open. I really didn’t know that they were fused shut for the past few months.

  FUSED! What a word!

  Poor you with eyes fused shut!!!!!!!

  But I guess there is not much to see in the darkness, is there?

  Shadows?

  Light from the outside getting in?

  I will never know, and you will never tell me.

  I can only imagine it. I would hate it if my eyes were fused.

  WHAT I LOVE TO SEE

  NATURE (which includes everything outdoors, for instance, the sky, sunrises and sunsets, the ocean, trees, flowers, parks, etcetera. Sorry—there is just too much good stuff to name, and you will understand when you get here. I try to honor all I see in nature, just like the Ohlone did and still do.)

  Smiles

  Raindrops on the window (oops, see NATURE) Curry’s three-pointers, Green’s great defense, Bogut getting the rebounds

  Nell, any part of her

  Mike, my heart still flutters

  A bowl of spaghetti with marinara sauce and garlic-parmesan meatballs when I’m hungry

  Mr. Chen’s ties

  That’s it for now, but, of course, there is much more to see in our big, big world.

  Love,

  Penny

  THURSDAY, APRIL 30, 2015

  Dear You,

  The month of May, coming up, is my birthday month. I was born on May 16, 2004. You will be born sometime in July or August 2015.

  Mama’s birthday is in May, too, the day before mine. We always celebrate together. Usually, we even share a cake. I guess you can say that our birthdays are sort of merged.

  But Mama said that she will not intrude on my birthday this year. I will be the big ONE-ONE, and I’m way past due for my own party and my own cake. I told her I never felt she was intruding (or vice versa) because it always felt cool and cozy to share a BD (birthday) with Mama. But I admit I feel a bit differently, now that I’m almost eleven.

  Maybe Hazel will get some information about Mama’s relatives or ancestors in Wyoming. That would be a nice birthday gift for Mama.

  Everything depends on jam maker Barbara Wolney and the Doppel Country Cousins Trio now.

  We are planning a party and sleepover for my own birthd
ay. It will be great.

  I also requested (1) a magician and (2) maybe a few fireworks in the backyard. Mama and Sammy nixed both ideas: (1) babyish (I think I agree) (2) dangerous and probably illegal.

  Then I suggested bowling and arcade games at Plank at Jack London Square before the sleepover. I do love their Nacho Stack. They show basketball games on humongous screens while you bowl and they bring your food right to your bowling lane.

  Again, nixed by the Parents. Too expensive. “What about a cheaper bowling alley?” they asked. But I don’t really like bowling that much, so I declined.

  Sammy suggested a trip to the Oakland Museum of California to see the replica of the Ohlone basket.

  Me, flabbergasted: “FOR MY BIRTHDAY???”

  I told her that’s a good idea for research, but not a birthday trip. It would be mixing business with pleasure.

  COUNTDOWN TO PRESENTATION: Forty-two days. Mama and Sammy are still in the dark about it.

  Happy Steph Curry Day.

  Love,

  Penny

  SATURDAY, MAY 2, 2015

  Dear You,

  I told Mr. Chen I planned to go to the Oakland Museum of California to do some further research—and also to celebrate my birthday. I just blurted that out. I knew it would impress him. He raised his eyebrows and wriggled them. His eyes beamed sparkles at me.

  I told Mama and Sammy to take me and my friends to the museum for my birthday trip. They did that eyebrow-raising wriggling thing, too.

  I guess I’m glad that’s settled.

  I am working very hard on my presentation. I will make it the very best it can be. I am sad that Mama and Sammy won’t be there to hear it. They would be proud of me. (But not proud that I fabricated, of course.)

  I have written quite a bit of information in my poodle notebook. I also traced some drawings from a book. It is much, much easier to trace and copy something than to draw it from scratch.

  For example, here is an Ohlone tule house.

  TULE means a kind of grass or bulrush that grew in the marshy wetlands of that time long ago. There was much more water then, just as Mr. Chen pointed out.

  Bundles of dried tule were tied around willow poles bent into a circle shape. These houses were warm and waterproof. They were easy to build quickly and weren’t meant to last long. That’s because the Ohlone moved from rich harvest to rich harvest, gathering seeds, salmon, and acorns.

  So now I understand why their houses didn’t look like teepees! They were more like modern-day tents.

  Research is so important.

  Love,

  Penny

  SUNDAY, MAY 3, 2015

  Dear You,

  A win in the first game of the Western Conference Semifinals! Dubs beat the Grizzlies 101–86! Woo-Hoo Zippity-Doo! Getting closer to the FINALS!!!!!

  Love,

  Penny

  MONDAY, MAY 4, 2015

  Dear You,

  On Mondays after school, Hazel and Gabby and I race to Hazel’s house to get the mail. Like streaks of lightning. Like the wind. Like the Warriors chasing the ball. Those are SIMILES, You. A simile is like a metaphor, but with the word like in front of it.

  We need those similes on Mondays, because that’s the day Rick has his appointment with his gum doctor. He comes home early to swish his mouth with warm salt water and then lie down. So the Splash Sisters race like Warriors and lightning and the wind and comets to get the mail before Rick gets home.

  Anyway, nothing has come for me yet c/o Hazel in the mail.

  When Rick came home, he poked his head in the room to yell at Hazel for not unloading the dishwasher. He is such a crabby man! I know he has sore gums and I should give him the benefit of the doubt, but I don’t think it’s only his gums.

  Gabby: “When’s he going to tell us about those Warriors tickets?”

  Hazel just shrugged her shoulders.

  It must be hard to live with that crabbiness. It would be like swishing salty water in your mouth all the time. Maybe Rick has a lot of important friends, but it’s hard for me to imagine him having any friends at all.

  Love,

  Penny

  PS. Sundae Monday flavor: Chestnut Chocolate Cream. Excellent.

  THURSDAY, MAY 7, 2015

  Dear You,

  Worrisome News:

  Hazel told us that a lonely widow came by to meet Nell. The woman has a few goats of her own. She said the widow was “very taken with Nell.” And Hazel was quite concerned because Nell nuzzled the woman’s hair. Hazel gave the woman information about Nell’s unpleasant health problems.

  And here is some very disappointing news:

  Hazel also told me there is a chance she may be going out of town for my birthday celebration!

  Couldn’t her family postpone her trip for just one measly but important day? Gabby said that’s what she’d make her family do, absolutely.

  I don’t understand.

  Love,

  Pen

  Saturday, May 9: We lost game three, 89–99! Series is 2–1 in favor of the Grizzlies!!!

  SUNDAY, MAY 10, 2015

  Dear You,

  Now I understand why Hazel can’t come to my birthday party. I think.

  Hazel admitted she fabricated. Her family is not going out of town. The real reason is that she is afraid Nell will be given away when she’s at my party.

  I told her she should have trusted me to understand.

  Love,

  Penny

  TUESDAY, MAY 12, 2015

  Dear You,

  GOOD NEWS: Yesterday, the Warriors beat the Grizzlies in game four, 101–84, and they weren’t even playing at home! The series is even now! Curry played like the MVP he is: He scored thirty-three points and got eight rebounds and five assists. His slump is over!

  MORE GOOD NEWS. I think. Hazel can come to the museum (but not the sleepover). Her mom and Rick promised that nothing would happen with Nell while she’s gone. But Hazel can’t come for the sleepover, because she wants to spend every spare moment with Nell.

  Gabby: “That’s ridiculous. You don’t SLEEP with your goat, and nobody will take her away in the dead of night.”

  Hazel: “Well, we’re also having out-of-town guests, and it would be rude of me not to be there at all.”

  Anyway, at least she can come to the museum.

  Love,

  Penny Happy Andrew Bogut Day, once again.

  THURSDAY, MAY 14, 2015

  Dear You,

  There were rain showers today. Very unusual for the month of May! I hope that isn’t a bad sign for the Dubs, I said to Mama. Even though they crushed the Grizzlies last night, 98–78, and are ahead in the series, 3–2.

  No, Mama said, the rain is a sign of the effects of climate change. Mama thinks my superstitious thinking is because of anxiety. I think she’s right. I wish I could tell Mama and Sammy that I am upset about my fabricated presentation in the auditorium without them there to cheer me on and be proud of me. And I’m worried that they will somehow find out I haven’t invited them.

  I am also worried about Nell. The lonely widow returned for a second meeting. Nell has a problem getting along with other goats, Hazel told her. She bites and butts ferociously. The woman said she would consider that in her final decision.

  You are almost twenty-eight weeks old and approximately sixteen inches long. You have grown so much from that little speck you used to be. Will you end up being taller than me one day?

  Love,

  Me

  FRIDAY, MAY 15, 2015

  Dear You,

  We went out for Mama’s birthday dinner today at her favorite place, Fentons. Just me, Sammy, and Mama.

  I gave Mama a homemade card and a giant box of chocolate turtles. I was hoping to give her some information about her long-lost relatives. I should say OUR long-lost relatives, You. I have received nothing from the Doppel Country Cousins Trio or the jam maker yet.

  But Mama loved the turtles.

  Tonight is the eve of my own
birthday.

  Mama told me that when I was born, she could tell I was relieved, because I yelled at her almost right away, as if I was finally able to complain about being cooped up for nine months.

  Do you feel the same way, You?

  Love,

  Me, just about eleven

  Tonight, the Dubs beat the Grizzlies, 108–95 to win the series 4–2, and now they are off to the Western Conference Finals!!!!! Steph sunk a sixty-two-footer in the third quarter!!!!

  SUNDAY, MAY 17, 2015

  Dear You,

  Well,

  DISAPPOINTED ADMISSION: My birthday was bittersweet, I am so sorry to say. I am only admitting this to you. I don’t want to hurt Mama’s or Sammy’s feelings.

  There was ONE OUTSTANDING SWEET EXPERIENCE and ONE OUTSTANDING BITTER EXPERIENCE.

  Sammy drove the van to the museum because there were so many of us: me and my parents, Hazel, Gabby, and Angel. And Mele Lorraine and Mele Grace. Uncle Ziggy was troubadoring at a Thai restaurant and couldn’t make it.

  There were actually quite a few positive experiences at the museum. All of California’s history, happy and sad, is in one big space. Native Americans, the Spanish, the Gold Rush, the Great Depression, the World Wars, Japanese internment camps, Cesar Chavez, Hollywood! So much to see and think about! I tried not to go through the different sections too quickly. It was interesting, but it all made my head spin.

  And here was my OUTSTANDING SWEET EXPERIENCE:

  Just about the very first thing you see when you walk into the museum is the beautiful Ohlone basket, protected under a glass case. It is at the beginning of all the exhibits, as if the basket is the beginning of the whole world itself.

  It is not an original Ohlone basket. It is a replica made by a talented Ohlone woman named Linda Yamane. REPLICA means copy. She did a lot of research. And she made it with the same materials the ancient Ohlone used.