by Patti Larsen
***
Chapter Nine
I was so wrapped up in my head that I almost ran right into Pain at the front doors of the school. I glanced up at the last minute, jerking back from her as she scowled at me, arms crossed over her chest.
“Hi, Pain,” I said. “What’s up?”
“That’s what I’d like to know.” She sounded really pissed. Was her makeup not so thick? And where were all her piercings?
“Sorry?” I was so stunned by her missing silverware I didn’t put anything together.
“I’m tired of how you’re acting around Benjamin.” Pain’s one booted foot tapped impatiently on the concrete step. “You’re making him uncomfortable.”
What? Bad enough she was so into him she treated Blood like crap, but she had the nerve to come after me?
“Maybe,” I snapped before I could stop myself, “if someone I knew gave a crap for a second about other people’s feelings, she’d see I’m not the bad person here.”
Bad move. I spotted it the moment I started talking. Pain’s eyes narrowed, her lips thinning out as her arms dropped, hands forming into fists. For a second I was sure she would hit me.
“Just leave my boyfriend alone if you can’t be nice to him. Okay? And leave me alone for that matter, too.”
Boyfriend? Oh no, she couldn’t be serious! But before I could say anything more, try to wrangle my temper under control or talk her out of it, Pain spun on her heel and marched into the school.
I plodded my way after her, not sure what to do. Alison and company stood waiting for me.
“What did you say to Pain?” Alison looked nervous. “She’s really pissed off.”
I shrugged. “She just told me she and Benjamin are going out.”
“So?” Alison crossed her arms over her chest. What was with my friends? “What’s the problem?”
“Doesn’t anyone care what Blood is feeling?” I decided to try the sympathy card rather than tearing her a new one.
She did look briefly guilty. Simon and Beth both ducked their heads. “Well,” Alison said, “I guess. That was pretty harsh. But, you don’t choose who you love, Syd.”
Yeah, I’d heard that before. And it sounded just as crappy coming from her.
“She’s right.” That voice. It was so hard not to turn and punch Benjamin in the face. My demon was having a very bad influence on me now that she had some freedom.
At least I blamed it on her.
“I didn’t ask you.” That was it. I didn’t like him, couldn’t stand him, and I wasn’t pussy footing around it any more. Time to draw my line in the sand. I spun to face him, keeping my violent impulses under control.
For now.
He smiled at me. Of course. “True. But Pain and I,” he hooked his arm around her shoulders, “care about each other deeply. I know how it looks, but how was I supposed to let anything interfere with the way I feel about her?”
She gazed at him adoringly when she wasn’t glaring at me like I’d killed her puppy.
I wanted to throw up. “Good for you two,” I said. “I’m late for class.”
I left, went to my locker. Made it all the way there before Beth stopped me. “Syd,” she said, so earnest it hurt, “please, don’t leave us.”
I shrugged. “I’m not, Beth,” I said. “Not by choice anyway.”
“I don’t understand.” She had tears in her eyes. “You’re my friend. Why are you hurting everyone?”
I stared at her, mouth gaping open. Me? Hurting them?
“Whatever,” I snapped. “Why don’t you go hang out with Benjamin if you don’t like it.”
Her cheeks flushed very red and she spun quickly, heading right for the bathroom. I kicked myself mentally, so hard my demon protested. Beth didn’t deserve that. I moved to go after her and spotted Simon staring at me.
He shot me the most hurt look I’d ever seen on anyone’s face, as though I’d torn out his little heart and stomped on it right in front of him. Simon turned away, light reflecting on his glasses, shoulders slumped even further than usual, and slowly walked away.
Like I needed more crap on my shoulders. I avoided the whole lot of them all day as best I could, switching seats with others, even, so I wouldn’t have to sit next to Alison in second period. Lunch was spent huddled outside under a tree, torturing my food to bits of mush while I struggled with my breaking heart.
I just wanted to go home.
But I stuck it out. There was only one thing keeping me from leaving. Benjamin. There was no way I would let him see he’d won.
And he had. I could feel the defeat in the air. Somehow in a few short days I’d gone from happy with my dear friends to a loner all over again and it hurt like hell. I considered hanging with Blood, but he was so wrapped up in his own grief that the one time I tried to approach him I turned around and went the other way.
Of course, I could have gone and sat with Brad and his popular friends. I know he would have welcomed me even if the rest of the football team and cheer squad wouldn’t. I caught him watching me, dodged him several times when he tried to talk to me.
I had enough on my plate without worrying about Brad Peters.
Prom. Right. Oh dear.
I barely remember leaving school when it was finally over for the day, slumping my way down the street for home. The rumble of a motorcycle engine brought my head around as Quaid pulled up beside me. He shut off the motor and slid his helmet free, chocolate eyes so dark they swallowed me up.
My demon automatically reached for him which naturally made me back off.
“Hi,” I said to take the sting out of it. I know he felt my withdrawal.
“Syd.” His voice traced a path of shivers down my back.
“What’s up?” Wow, that was so lame. But I didn’t have much more in me.
His eyebrow quirked. “Same question.”
I shrugged. “Just some stuff I’m trying to work out.” I wanted to tell him about my demon, the separation we found, about her taking me over, but instead, for some reason, I chose to whine. “Want to help me get rid of someone?”
“Let me guess,” he said. “Benjamin.”
He knew. And had to understand. This was awesome.
“Yeah,” I said, mustering some enthusiasm. “Dude’s a total jerk. Broke up Pain and Blood. Can you imagine?”
Quaid’s expression never changed. “Imagine that,” he said softly. “One girl, two guys. Wow. So rare.”
He might as well have slapped me.
“How do you know they’re not meant to be?” Quaid shifted his weight forward, looking off down the street. “What right do you have to get between them?”
I knew it. No matter what Quaid said, he would always be a jerk.
“Forget it,” I snapped. “I knew you wouldn’t understand. There’s something wrong with that guy, Quaid, and I’m the only one who seems to see it.”
He started the bike. “That’s true, Syd,” he said. “I forgot. You’re right and everyone else is wrong. Thanks for clearing that up.”
Quaid slammed on his helmet and peeled away before I could form a comeback.
Instead, I grumbled my whole way home.
Where I met bad news. Or, at least, no news, which was bad as far as I was concerned.
Nothing from Dad.
I went to bed in foul humor and was a long time falling asleep.
***
I jerked awake on a park bench in my pajamas, the first light of morning filtering through the trees and my demon snoring softly in her sleep.
Not again.
***
Chapter Ten
Mom put on a brave face, but I could tell from the tension in her whole body she was hiking down the same road to worry as me.
It was even more impactful since she just came to a panting halt next to me. I barely stood up and took my bearings when Mom came running down the sidewalk in her black silk nightgown and robe, slippered feet slapping on the pavement as she practically flew the block from our
house to the center of the park while I stood there and watched her.
She looked me up and down, a strained smile on her face. “Early breakfast?”
I knew she was trying to keep it light but I wasn’t so sure I could go there with her.
I followed Mom back to the house, wincing as my bare soles met asphalt, wondering how I managed to make it the whole night without hurting myself. My feet were plenty dirty so I knew my demon hadn’t just sat around. But at least she took good care of us while she was in charge.
She mumbled something in her sleep and radiated her satisfaction.
Still nothing from Dad, though Mom and I both tried to raise him. Mom said she could still feel their connection, but whatever he was doing rendered him unable to answer us.
All I knew was if Mom tried to apologize to me one more time about not keeping an eye on me I was going to throw the waffles she so lovingly made in her face.
Because it wasn’t her fault. It was mine. I should have been in control of my demon and I wasn’t. All those stubborn years wasted. I could have learned, I don’t know, to do something by now. Anything to keep my demon contained. Instead I wasted all that time whining about how I just wanted to be normal.
Great call, Syd.
This part of my life may have been out of control, but there was another part I refused to allow to fall apart any longer. I grimly munched my waffles, tasting nothing, drank my milk and made my choice.
Time to give Benjamin the bounce.
This time when I grabbed my book bag, Mom put her foot down.
“No school,” she said. “I’m keeping you with me today.”
No way. I had something I had to do. “She’s sleeping,” I said at my most reasonable. “Besides, she only seems to take over when I’m doing something with my magic or when I’m unconscious. I promise I’ll do neither while I’m in class. Okay?”
Mom hesitated and I was sure she was about to say no when I hugged her.
“I love you,” I said, “but I’m not letting this stop me from living.”
She nodded once. “Just be careful.” Like I was about to go rob a bank. Burn down my school. Expose the coven.
Maybe she was right. Maybe they needed to lock me up. Ward me into my room like they did with my crazy grandmother.
The image of me slowing morphing into Gram made me shudder.
“Mom,” I said, “I have to go.”
She must have known what I was thinking. “Have a good day, dear.”
My lunch went in my bag, my determination shoving ahead of me like a battering ram.
Benjamin was so toast.
I marched up the stairs and to our usual meeting spot. And stopped, shocked.
No one was there. But they always hung out in the corner by the doors. Our nook with the low window ledge Alison liked because she could swing her feet and knock her heels against the wall. Where the light always made Pain’s crystal blue eyes shine and Simon’s glasses flicker. A safe place for all of them, where Blood’s low laughter echoed around them and the scent of the shampoo that kept Beth’s bob bouncy reminded me of my mother.
No one. The nook stood empty.
I told myself immediately I was just early, or late or some other excuse. They were there and gone again or would be shortly if I decided to wait.
Waiting seemed pathetic. So I went to my locker instead.
I saw Alison’s blonde hair and favorite designer purse ahead of me and felt my heart lift a little. I caught up with her just as she reached her locker.
“Hey, Al,” I said, a little out of breath from chasing her. “Where is everybody?”
She didn’t look at me, just spun the combo into her lock and clicked it open with an expert wrist twist. “Why do you care?”
What? Of course I cared. I was here despite my own problems, to fix this. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh, let’s see.” Alison spun toward me, eyes furious. “One, you piss off Pain, then you make Beth cry. You crush poor Simon’s little heart before basically telling the whole lot of us to go to hell by abandoning us. Not to mention being a total bitch to Benjamin.” She slammed her locker door shut. “How’s that for an answer?”
She spun and left me there like I didn’t matter. For a heartbeat I almost retreated. But I refused to back down. Not this time. I was here to fix it, to make my friends see the truth and take my normal life back. That much at least I could do.
I stormed after her, pushing my way through the crowd, coming to an abrupt halt at the end of the lockers when I caught sight of her again.
She stood near the fountain in the recess usually occupied by cheer girls, but oddly empty. Well, not empty. Simon was there. And Beth. Benjamin. And a dark-haired girl in really prim clothes I didn’t recognize at first until I came a little closer.
And almost dropped in shock.
It was Pain. Or the person I used to know as Pain. Her prissy mother had to be thrilled with her new look. Not a stitch of makeup, a pleated gray skirt to her knees, sweater twin set in pale rose, flats the same shade as her skirt… she even had on delicate pearl earrings and a necklace. Her dark hair was held back with a headband that ended in a sweet bow.
Oh. My. God.
I was about to stagger over there when Blood beat me to it. He appeared out of nowhere, looking like three-day-old crap, his makeup smeared around his eyes, hair a wreck. He reminded me of how Pain looked when the creature Cesard took her over.
A quick check of his mind proved that wasn’t the case this time. No possession, no evil spell. Just a broken heart and a horrible spiral into despair.
“Pain, baby.” He reached out for her, his cheeks actually wet with tears. “What did he do to you?”
She pulled away from him, disgust on her face. “It’s Mia,” she snapped. “Maybe if you really cared about me you’d understand. But you never did.” She turned to Benjamin who smiled at her, at Blood, at me over Pain’s shoulder. “I’ve found my real identity now.”
That was enough of that. I stormed my way into their midst even as Beth and Simon scrambled out of the way.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I shoved my demands right into Pain’s face. “Was that really necessary?”
She stepped back from me, looking almost afraid. “Mind your own business.”
Really? “I thought we were friends,” I said, keeping my voice low so I wouldn’t scream at her. “That you and Blood were friends. Is this how you treat your friends, Pain?”
“Mia,” she said. “And you’re obviously not my friend. Or you’d understand how I feel about Benjamin.” He had his filthy arm around her, hand draped so his long, thin fingertips brushed her collarbone over and over again in some kind of possessive spider-like dance. His lips curved upward as he smiled at me.
Right at me.
I promised Mom I wouldn’t use magic. Swore it. But, it was so tempting.
“Oh, so some random guy comes along on a Monday and by Thursday you’ve trashed all your beliefs, is that it? Wow, Mia, you’re not who I thought you were at all.”
“No, you don’t know me,” she said. “If you did, you’d be happy for me.”
“I think you should go, Syd,” Alison said. Beth and Simon refused to meet my eyes. They looked broken, and like they blamed me for the damage.
Why couldn’t they see what this guy was doing? How he so easily drove us apart?
“Make me,” I snapped at Alison. “I have something to say first.”
“I think they’ve heard more than enough.” Quaid was right behind me, one hand hooked on my upper arm, dragging me physically away. I jerked myself out of his grip and spun on him, furious.
“Get out of my way.”
“No.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re being a psycho. Just face it. They like him more than you and you’re jealous.”
He might as well have stabbed me in the heart as much as stab me in the back.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about
.” I felt the crowd melt away from us, saw Benjamin and his friends leave us behind. Nice. At least I could vent at Quaid.
“You’re such a hypocrite,” he snarled at me, showing real anger. “You go on and on about how he’s such a jerk when you’re being the jerk. Your friends deserve better.” He stepped back, giving me the once over like I was suddenly contaminated with something. “You know what, Syd? You’re pathetic.”
Quaid spun and stalked away while I stood there in the middle of the hall alone and outcast again. The bell rang, the corridor emptying as kids went to class. I stood there for a long time, battling tears and rage.
It took me quite a while to make a decision, but when I did, it was easy to turn and head for the front door. Cutting my losses may have been the right choice but did it have to hurt so much?
***
Chapter Eleven
Mom must have known something happened because she was waiting for me at the kitchen door when I staggered in and collapsed in a chair.
She sat next to me, holding my hand, listening as I told her everything and how they all turned on me. I waited for her to tell me I was being stupid like everyone else did.
“If you think this boy is trouble,” she said, “I believe you.”
Really? Mom was backing me? Mom never backed me. Okay, that wasn’t exactly true or fair. But if Uncle Frank thought I was being a jerk, my mother should have, too.
“What am I going to do?” I just felt miserable, all wrung out and heavy like the world sat on my shoulders.
She squeezed my hands. “One problem at a time,” she said. “Your father wants us to contact him.”
I sat up immediately. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was just about to summon you when I felt you coming home,” she said. “And as important as it is that we find out what is going on with your power, this was important, too.”
I loved my mother. We didn’t always get along or see eye to eye, but when push came to shove, Mom always did her best to make me feel better.
I followed her down the stairs to the basement. Now that my normal troubles were spilled I was starting to feel very nervous about what my dad would have to say. After all, he’d been working on this for almost two days without a word.