Notice Me

  “Why didn’t you?” Charlie was still looking deep into my eyes. His face really took my breath away. How could anyone be that perfect?

  “I’m not sure,” I had to be truthful.

  “Shan…”

  “I think I have to go, Charlie. I think coming here was a bad idea. I need to check on Megan.” I got up quickly. I knew I had to leave because truthfully I didn’t trust myself with Charlie. My body was making itself very clear. If Charlie kissed that way I could imagine how good it would feel to go all the way with him.

  “Shannon, wait…” Charlie begged, but I was already out his door. I was doing well at fast exits today.

  I got back to Megan’s apartment expecting to see a broken woman. I knew I couldn’t be angry with her especially after what I had just done. I really had no idea what had come over me, but kissing Charlie well, I never thought it would feel quite as good as that. Maybe I had never really got over my infatuation with him. I knew it was wrong of me, but I was glad I had experienced it. Charlie would probably never make that mistake again.

  As I entered the apartment I heard laughing from Megan’s bedroom. I was so stunned it felt as if I glided in a wind of confusion towards her bedroom door. I had to know who was in there.

  “Shan, wait!” Megan screamed as she saw me at the door watching Tim Scott on top of her. I felt nauseous as I walked into the kitchen placing my hands on the work top. I waited for Megan to put some clothes on and come out looking shameful.

  “Shan, I am sorry I thought you were with Will,” Megan came out wrapped up in a shirt. I really hoped it wasn’t Tim’s.

  “Megan what the hell are you doing?” I almost screamed.

  “I know it looks bad, but this is the only time Tim and I…”

  “Don’t lie to me Megan. Will has told me everything,” I interrupted. Tears came to Megan’s eyes as she dropped her head in her hands, sobbing.

  “Oh God, I am such a horrible person. I am turning into my mother,” Megan sobbed.

  “No, you are not Megan!” A voice came from behind her. Tim had come out now fully clothed placing his arms around her waist. I really saw red now. Megan hated Tim. Come to think of it so did I now.

  “This is none of your business. Get the hell out of here!” I screeched pushing him with all my strength out of the front door. Tim let me. I must have looked severely angry.

  Megan stood, tears streaming down her face. She looked pretty scared, I was glad.

  “Shan…”

  “No, you sit down and listen to me. Now!” I pulled out a chair. She sat quickly. “What the hell are you playing at Megan Field? Tell me everything. Do you realise what a state you have left Charlie in?”

  “You’ve seen him? Is he alright?”

  “Top of the world! Now spill it,” I glared at her. Megan looked down at the table too ashamed to tell me face to face.

  “It happened four weeks ago. Will asked me to collect some paperwork from his office as I was in that area. Tim was there. He was really upset about a deal he had lost, so I agreed to have one drink with him.” I rolled my eyes, how stupid was she? “One led to a few. I really don’t know why I went with him. He was so vulnerable. I had never seen Tim like that before. He made me feel like a princess before I knew it I was back at his.”

  “Didn’t you even think of Charlie?”

  “He has been so distracted ever since Paris. You know how busy he has been. I hardly see him anymore.”

  “That makes it okay then,” I yelled. “You still see him at least three nights a week, Megan. I really can’t believe you. Do you have any idea what you have done? Charlie may never take you back.”

  “I know that.”

  “Why the hell was Tim here? Have you lost your mind? What if Charlie had come round to talk?”

  “I needed someone. Tim was just there. You know I hate being alone.”

  “Do you love him?” I asked suddenly worried. I had only just considered that.

  “Of course not. I love Charlie. I have made such a mess of everything. He won’t even take my calls.” Megan began to play with her fingers.

  “Do you blame him?” I spat back.

  “I know Shan. Look, you cannot hate me as much as I hate myself. I know only I can sort this.”

  “How do you plan to do that?” Megan looked at me. I knew what she was thinking. “I thought you said only you can sort this?”

  “But he opened the door to you. All I ask is for you to get him to listen to me. I will do the rest. Please Shan. Help me sort this. It’s made me realise how much I love him. I won’t lose him.” I just looked at her. I really didn’t want to see Charlie so soon. I knew I couldn’t face him today. My body was still yearning for him, which was not good.

  “I find that hard to believe seeing as Tim Scott has just left your bedroom, Megan.”

  “Please Shan. I made a mistake. I love him. I can’t lose him.”

  “You really should have thought about that before you cheated on him.”

  “Please Shan, you are my only hope,” Megan begged.

  I sighed to myself. “I am not going today. I think he needs some time to cool down. I will try and see him tomorrow after my lunch period.”

  “Thank you. I know I have let you down. I promise I won’t do it again. If Charlie takes me back I will never lose him again.”

  “I’m not the one who’s heart you have broken Megan. You need to explain all of that to Charlie.” I walked towards my room. I was tired it had been a long day. “I’m going to bed.” Megan didn’t answer. I hoped she was realising the damage she had inflicted as well as what she may have already lost.

  I was fearful all day thinking about having to see Charlie. He really was so adorably gorgeous when he was defenceless. I really hoped I could control myself this time. I knew he would be home. He looked surprised to see me as he opened the door. His blue-green eyes looked weak he was still breathtaking even with his unclean hair and stubble. How that could be possible, I had no answers.

  “Shannon?” Charlie said my name almost like a question.

  “Megan has sent me.” Charlie rolled his eyes. “I am not on her side. I really gave her a firm talking to last night.”

  “Did she listen though?” Charlie asked as he sat on his sofa. I leaned against his kitchen counter. The sofa to me seemed a little too dangerous at this precise moment.

  “You need to talk to her Charlie. Just hear her out,” I pleaded. “Are you really going to walk away?”

  “Maybe I will.”

  “Charlie, she loves you. She made a huge mistake, but it has made her realise how much she loves you. You are everything to her.”

  “What if I don’t feel the same anymore?” Charlie looked at me. His eyes were unbearable. I had never seen him in so much pain.

  “Of course you do. You guys are meant for each other. I really don’t think Megan can live without you.” Charlie just laughed gently to himself. “I am telling you the truth.”

  “I know you are.” Charlie smiled at me like I had missed a joke.

  “Just talk to her, please.”

  “You think I should take her back after what she has done?” Charlie appeared a little angry now.

  “No, I am just asking you to talk to her so Megan can explain herself.”

  “So you are taking her side?”

  “I’m not. I’m just trying to make you two realise you have too much to throw away. You need to at least talk about this with her.”

  “Okay, but not yet I want to make her suffer for a little while.” He seemed a little happier. “I was just going to make myself a pot of tea, do you want one?”

  “Sure.” He made his way next to me in the kitchen. I flinched a little. His pull was so strong. My whole body felt as if it might burst.

  “I am sorry about yesterday,” Charlie whispered as he noticed my discomfort. “I promise I won’t attack you like that again.”

  “Oh… it’s okay your head was everywhere last night,” I stutter
ed a little. I swear I heard him laugh lightly at me as he went to his fridge for the milk.

  “You’re not a bad kisser though Shannon,” he teased handing me a cup of tea.

  “Stop it.” I hit his arm. Charlie did appear a little better today obviously his time alone had done him some good.

  “Have you spoken to Will yet?” HHHe asked sitting on his sofa. “Shan, you can sit by me. I promise I won’t bite.” I hadn’t realised I was still glued against his kitchen.

  “No not yet,” I replied as I sat next to him. I could still feel the force in my body pulling me towards him. What was wrong with me?

  “He called me this morning. You should talk to him too you know. He is as wet as a fish, but… if you care for him you should call him.”

  “Thanks, I guess I should take your advice seeing as you have listened to me.”

  “Do you ever think our lives may have been simpler if we hadn’t met the Field family?” Charlie joked.

  “Well, we wouldn’t know each other. I am pretty sure I would have been a nervous wreck by now if it wasn’t for Megan.” I laughed at my own words knowing they were true.

  “Megan told me about when she first met you. Were you really that bad?” Charlie asked serious.

  “Worse,” I whispered.

  “Seriously?” Charlie looked shocked.

  “I was really messed up. My life had been kind of lonely until I met Megan.”

  “You were fostered weren’t you?”

  “Yes, when I was a little older I was.” I was a little surprised. I hadn’t realised Megan had told Charlie so much about me.

  “Sorry, if you don’t want to talk about it I understand.” Charlie looked like he thought he had offended me.

  “No, it’s not that. I didn’t realise Megan had told you that’s all.”

  “You are her best friend. She talks about you all the time.” I just smiled, as angry as I was with Megan it was nice to hear. “She doesn’t deserve you sometimes you know,” Charlie whispered. I could feel his cool breath hit my skin. I trembled. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could sit next to him.

  “I think that’s the other way round. We saved each other it’s true, but I gained a lot more from our friendship. I will never be able to make up for that, no matter what I do.”

  “You Shannon Davis are quite amazing do you know that?” Charlie smiled moving an inch closer to me, too close to be honest.

  “I really better go, Charlie. I need to speak to Will and say I’m sorry, it wasn’t his fault. I was so angry with Megan. I think I took it out on him.”

  “You are going to forgive him then?”

  “There is nothing to forgive”

  “You don’t love him though, do you?” It seemed like a bizarre question coming from Charlie.

  “No, but I’m not sure I am capable of loving anyone. I want to love him. He is so patient. I am lucky to have him.” Charlie just laughed. “What?” I asked.

  “He is so boring though. I swear his favourite colour is grey, just like his life.” I had to laugh then quickly rebuffed myself. Charlie was making fun out of my boyfriend after all. Why was I laughing? “I just think you deserve better that’s all.”

  I looked deep into Charlie’s eyes. “You are not the first to tell me that.”

  “Really, who else?” He seemed generally interested.

  “No one. I really have to go.” I got up as Charlie followed me to the door.

  “Thanks for coming over, Shan.”

  “It’s okay. So you will call Megan in a few days?”

  “Yeah, I will listen to her. I just need to get my head sorted first, but I am not promising anything. She has made this mess.”

  “I am sorry Charlie that she has hurt you.”

  “Don’t worry bookworm it’s not your fault.” Charlie hugged me tightly. I could feel my whole body burst into flames. “Thank you. You’re a wonderful friend,” he whispered as he let me go. I just smiled back a little unsteady.

  Chapter 12

  “So how did it go?” I asked Megan as she got back from her drink with Charlie.

  “He is angry,” Megan sighed. “Really angry.”

  “What did you expect, Megan? You cheated on him.”

  “He did say he would see how things went. I guess I will have to prove myself to him.”

  “That only seems fair Megan. You have to realise what you have done.”

  “I have just never seen him so cold with me before. He wouldn’t even touch me.”

  “You need to give it time. Charlie is hurting remember.”

  “I hate Tim Scott for doing this to me.” Megan threw her coat on the table and sat next to me resting her head on my shoulder. As angry as I was that Megan was making this all about her not the fact that she had broken Charlie’s heart, I still comforted her. It may have had something to do with the fact I couldn’t get Charlie’s kiss out of my head. Damn him, why did he have to be so amazing at kissing? I needed to snap out of these daydreams otherwise when they got together again it would get really embarrassing.

  ”Shan, are you and Will still fighting?”

  “Not really,” I lied.

  “What do you mean?” Megan asked turning to look at me.

  “We are fine,” I smiled getting up. “It’s just New York isn’t too far away now and it will be difficult for us.”

  “Don’t go then, stay here.” Megan beamed.

  “Megan, I want to go,” I sighed.

  “More than you want to be with Will?”

  I didn’t have the heart to tell her yes, that truthfully I just didn’t see the point of being with Will when deep down I was sure I could never love him. “It’s difficult. I am just looking forward to going out there and finding myself.”

  “Finding yourself? What are you on, Shannon?” Megan sniggered.

  “Don’t laugh. It’s alright for you, you know where you came from,” I glared. “I am yet to find out who I am.”

  “I tell you who you are, Shan,” Megan smiled touching my hand. “You are a Field.”

  I smiled sweetly at her. I knew Megan wanted me to feel like I was part of her family, but the truth was I wasn’t a Field.

  “I know you are trying to make me feel better, but I need New York. It will be good for me.”

  “You better come back,” Megan sulked.

  “Of course I will,” I laughed. “You have bigger things to worry about anyway. Like winning Charlie over.”

  “Oh, trust me when he sees what I will be wearing underneath my clothes tomorrow night. He will realise just how sorry I am.”

  “That might not work Megan.”

  “Trust me I know what Charlie likes,” Megan giggled. “Plus I am going to try and get him to come to my mother’s charity event next weekend.” Megan looked at me. “Actually you could help me with that.”

  “No Megan, no more help. You are on your own with that one.” I glared.

  “Please Shan, if he knows you and Will are going, I am sure he will turn up.”

  “You can’t trap him Megan. You have to let him find you naturally.”

  “Please Shan,” Megan begged. All I could do was roll my eyes at her.

  “This will be the last time though, Megan.” Megan jumped up and down with excitement.

  “Charlie will be back in my arms in no time.” Megan skipped off to her bedroom.

  What had I got myself in to? I needed to be working things out about Will rather than persuading Charlie to go to the ghastly charity event.

  I was in a mood all day at Uni. Patrick could tell, but I just ignored him.

  “Seriously what is eating at you today?” Patrick asked nudging me.

  “Nothing, I just have a lot on my mind,” I sighed, shutting my notebook.

  “You look as if you have the whole world on your shoulders.”

  “Do I?” I asked surprised.

  “Yeah come on spill. I am your normal friend after all.”

  “I’m fine,” I sighed.


  “You do know you can talk to me right? I am your friend Shannon.”

  “Pat, really it’s nothing.”

  “Does this have anything to do with William Field?”