by Anna Santos
“Do you want another drink?” I asked, noticing his empty glass, and wanting to refill it to add an extra dose. It was not like I could kill him with it. Maybe put him asleep longer than it was intended, but it wouldn’t kill him.
“I want another kiss,” he said, preventing me from getting up and drowning his mouth on the hollow of my neck. His hand cupped one of my breasts, and he moaned. “Why don’t you let me kiss you farther down?”
“We are talking, and we both know that things will escalate rather quickly if I let you have your way,” I muttered, holding on to his hand, so he didn’t move it further down.
“You are so evil, Violet,” he sighed and my body tensed.
“What?” I asked, unsure if I heard him correctly.
His next words let me know that he was probably experiencing hallucinations due to alcohol and the sleeping drug. “You are evil, Sarah.”
“You just called me Violet!” I complained since I wasn’t letting that slide.
“I made a mistake. It is hard to…hum forget about it. I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to lick you all over, Sarah,” he said with an impatient voice. He moaned again, squeezing his hand harder and moving it to enter my cleavage. “You are really soft. I like how soft and warm you are.”
“Ewan,” I gasped, breathing his breath laced with alcohol and untamed lust. “You were talking about—” It was difficult to talk while his mouth nibbled my neck and his fingers brushed my nipple. Suddenly, his free hand cupped my sex and made me shift over his body. It was enjoyable and confusing at the same time. Even if I hated the guy, he was undeniably attractive. My body jerked under his hands.
“I like the sexy thong,” he whispered, pushing his hand harder against the tissue, using his middle finger to drawn circles, and eventually fingering my pussy. I closed my hands and shifted under his hand. Damn it! “Now imagine how good my mouth would feel pecking and sucking as I repeatedly darted my tongue in and out your pussy, making you come.”
I was imagining it all right, but it was not his tongue that was there. I got frustrated by the fact that his hand was still between my legs while his other hand was cupping my breast and making me move up and down. I tensed under his hands, forcing my body to stop experiencing pleasure.
“I think you are trying to stop talking, and I want you to tell me things,” I managed to say, holding on to his hands and taking them away. I was proud of myself for enduring that teasing session. On any other occasion, I would just give in and let him have his way.
“What do you want me to tell you?” he mumbled, frustrated of course, but also tired.
“How did you become a vampire?”
“It’s such a long and heartbreaking story that it will probably bore you to death.”
“It won’t,” I assured.
Sighing, he ruffled his hair and chased the sleep away. “I’ll tell you, but I don’t want you to judge my actions in the light of this millennium. You need to realize that, back then, it wasn’t like it is now. We acted under different moral standards and things weren’t that black or white.”
“I won’t judge you. I just want to know more about you. About your wife, it intrigued me. You said she was an enchantress. I thought there was no such thing as magic.”
“If vampires exist then it isn’t that farfetched that magic also exists.”
“Point taken. Then tell me more about her. I want to know the memories I’m going to compete against,” I teased, tilting my head to stare at his face. He was pensive, his eyes far away in the past, probably.
“They are all dead. That’s the worst part about being a vampire. We have too many memories of people we have lost and can’t ever see again. Except for you, it seems. I guess you came back to me,” he slurred, gazing at my face. “Maybe the Goddess is trying to make me regret my sins and—make me redeem my pitiful existence.”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you believe in reincarnation, Sarah?”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” I chuckled at his words. He was acting crazy. Now he thought I was the reincarnation of his former wives.
“You are so—carefree and mysterious,” he mumbled, resting his hands on my stomach and sighing deeply. He was giving in to sleep. “I’m so tired. It’s even absurd. I feel at peace with you. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like this.”
“I feel it too,” I lied. “Now tell me about your transformation.”
“You are so curious,” he mumbled, clearly drowsy. Maybe he would fall asleep soon and stop harassing me. But I was interested in what he was going to tell me about his past. Is he going to be honest? He didn’t normally like to talk about his past when we were together.
“Indulge me. I would like to know things about you. So, I can understand you better.”
“Fine, sweetie. But try to have an open mind about it.”
“I am a really open-minded person.”
“Okay, so I told you about my first wife. She was an enchantress. Her name was Ebony and the thing was that she was going to live forever and I wasn’t.”
“How could she live forever?”
“She had performed a ritual after our baby was born.”
“What ritual?”
“Enchantresses and sorcerers are vampires’ natural enemies. They exist because the Goddess created them to help protect humanity from the vampires and other demons that were created by the dark God. You see, the God was jealous of the Goddess’ love for humanity, so he created evil beings to torment humans’ existence. I won’t elaborate the myth, but all you need to know is that there was a bloodline who possessed magic because they were direct descendants of the Goddess. Those descendants would take an oath to protect humanity, so they could use their magical powers and extend their lives.”
“I have never heard anything about that in all the myths I have encountered about vampires,” I retorted.
“It’s a well-kept secret. Only a small percentage of people, high elite hunters, know about it. Anyway, my wife became one of them, one of the protectors of humanity. As for me, I didn’t have the magical blood, so I couldn’t perform the same oath. I wasn’t going to live forever.”
“That sucks.” I couldn’t help to say.
“I didn’t want to—well, let’s just say that the idea of getting old and dying, leaving her behind, was not really enticing. I was jealous of her immortality and powers. And I was also jealous of the fact that I would die, and she would move on with her life, have other men, and have other experiences. I was just a low-ranking soldier, a warrior, nothing more. She would eventually grow tired of me and mate with some other sorcerer. Our love wouldn’t matter anymore.”
“There was surely something she could do to make you immortal like herself,” I said.
“There wasn’t. Unless she used black magic, or I became a dark creature myself. Only vampire blood—only the transformation—could give me immortality.”
“So you decided to become a vampire to stay with her,” I predicted.
“Yes, I had that stupid idea,” he confessed. “I thought I could control the urge for blood and she would accept me and understand my choice. I didn’t know there was a huge price to pay for my naiveté and for immortality.”
“What happened?” I asked, attentive to his words and to his broken voice. He was emotional about his memories, it still hurt, and he still loved her, probably.
“I looked for the vampires and I asked their leader to turn me into one of them. I would give them something in return for their trouble.”
“What?”
“A way into our village, a way to get to the elder and help the vampires get new prey and new strong warriors to join their ranks.”
“No,” I gasped, emotion striking me while thinking about Galvin and how Ewan’s decision was selfish. “Your wife would never forgive you.”
“I told you it wasn’t a wise decision. It was a deal with the devil. It was a stupid move. But I was selfish, and I was blinded by jealo
usy. I didn’t want Ebony to love anyone else.”
“What did she do when she found out?” I tilted my head back to watch him and noticed his tense expression and a blank stare on the ceiling.
“She didn’t find out. She left the security of our village in a crazy attempt to go looking for me and save me from the vampires, whom she thought had kidnapped me. She was killed, after being raped and—I can’t even imagine what those monsters did to her. But it was all his fault,” he added, clenching his teeth, and I felt his heartbeat increase. “He had the job of keeping her safe. He shouldn’t have told her and let her come after me. I had asked him to take care of her until I could get back. Until our plan worked out.”
“Who?” I asked, curious and at the same confused by the hate he had for someone of his past.
“My uncle, one of the sorcerers. We were best friends. He was one of the few of our family that had the gift in his blood. I trusted him.”
“Did you tell him about your idea?”
“I had told him to take care of Ebony while I was gone. I told him, I was going to ask them to turn me into a vampire. We had a plan. He—just had the simple task of keeping Ebony away from the woods, away from the vampires’ land.”
“I don’t understand. How can you blame him if you had the idea of using your knowledge to betray your people?”
“Becoming a vampire was one of the steps to infiltrate the vampire territory. I had to win their trust and pretend to give them what they wanted: a way into the village. Then, the elders would capture the Vampire Master, the eldest of the creatures, and I could live with my wife and child, as a vampire, forever. That was the deal.”
“Oh.” I nodded, understanding the complicated plan. “So, you weren’t all that bad.”
“No, I wasn’t.” He hugged me tighter with a yawn. “I just became after,” he added with a dark voice that gave me the chills. “For a long time, I was perverted, twisted. I wanted revenge for Ebony’s death, I wanted to end my clan and—I was not a nice person. I used women to get what I wanted. I loved no one.”
“It sounds lonely and—truly sad,” I said, trying to make him think I felt empathy for him, but I was only thinking of how selfish and pathetic he was. How his hate and self-centered existence destroyed so many lives and took so many magic children from their parents. He didn’t deserve any forgiveness for all the harm he had done.
“Until I found Violet,” he added after a moment.
I shivered with the mention of my name. “The name you keep calling me,” I grumbled.
“Yes. I’ll show you a painting of her. You’ll see how similar you two are.”
“So, you loved her with all your heart,” I said in a cranky voice that made him chuckle. My voice was laced with jealousy and something else, something dark. I was livid. But he thought I was just acting jealous because of the way he was speaking about her.
“Yes. I loved her with all my heart. It was a bit messy at the beginning. Because I was a jerk.”
“Really, so you didn’t kiss the ground she walked?” I sneered, staring at him.
“I did, I just pretended I didn’t. After all, I wanted the best for her. I tried to make her understand that vampires are evil and there was too much at stake. I wanted her to have kids and a family. But her love for me was—refreshing, overwhelming, and all-consuming. No matter how evil I would try to be, she didn’t mind. She was my angel, my peace in a shattered and fucked up world,” he spoke softly, making my heartbeat increase and tears ran to my eyes. I was caught in every single word he was saying, in every single pause and change in his voice. He didn’t seem like he was lying and that was the worst part about it. I was tempted to believe him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want you to feel bad about this,” he added, kissing my cheeks and moving my body closer, so we could look at each other.
My eyes were watering, and I felt a lump in my throat that made it hard for me to breathe and speak. I finally pushed him back, preventing him from kissing me. I was upset by his words.
“Sarah, don’t be like this. I love you. She’s long time gone, part of my past. and you are now my entire future,” he reasoned.
I looked down at his chest, holding back the tears. I didn’t want to cry and I sure didn’t want to feel bad about his pain. He’s such a jerk! He had planned to kill me. Why kill me if he loved me so much? He didn’t even have the decency of telling me to my face that he was tired of me, that he didn’t love me anymore.
The feelings were overwhelming.
“And Anastasia, did you love her? Were you lovers?”
“It’s complicated,” he answered, breathing deeply. “Our relationship is complex. We were alone in the world. At least I was until I found you. She needs to move on with her life. I can’t be what she wants me to be.”
“And what does she want?”
“Let’s not talk about her,” he requested, shifting uncomfortably.
“I feel like there’s a lot more about her that you aren’t telling me. She acts like a jealous girlfriend. She’s clearly in love with you.” I dropped the bomb to see his reaction, his face didn’t even flinch to my words. He stood quiet, pondering eyes on the ceiling.
Moments after, he took me in his arms bridal-style, and I was unsure of what he planned to do. We were going to the bedroom and my heart started to beat fast. How can I escape from that?
27
STUPID HEART OF MINE
EWAN LAID ME DOWN on the bed. My hair fell over my face and shoulders. My dress was showing my legs and barely covering my butt. He took his time, staring down at me, clenched jaw and hungry eyes. Then his hand took his tie while his eyes dwelled in mine. He got rid of his coat and unbuttoned his shirt slowly. I gulped, bringing my legs closer together because I was getting extremely aroused and I shouldn’t. My breath was erratic and I fisted the comforter.
“Take off your dress,” he demanded, kneeling in front of me. I widened my eyes and shook my head. “Come on, don’t be shy. Take off your dress for me. I promise I won’t touch you.” Ewan tried to persuade me, speaking huskily.
With all the sleeping potion, I had given him, it was only logical that he would fall on the bed and sleep like a baby. But I had no such luck. Since I was not moving, he caressed the hair away from my face and brushed my lips with his thumb.
“You are so damn sexy,” he growled in a sensual voice, inserting his finger into my mouth. Does he want me to suck it? I was a bit taken aback. “I’m not going to bite you, Sarah,” he assured. “I’m not going to do anything that you don’t want me to.”
“So what are you going to do?” I asked, pulling his hand away.
“I just want to watch you,” he explained, roaming his eyes down my body. “And then we will sleep.”
I narrowed my eyes in confusion. He took my shoes, carefully, caressing my feet and kissing them.
“I would gladly kiss the ground you walk on, even if I’d rather kiss your feet and touch your skin,” he said throatily, sending shivers of lust right between my legs.
I gasped, my muscles tensing and my eyes getting heavy. Where is nausea when I need it? My stomach swirled with expectation while my brain was finding excuses for me to surrender and let him have his way. I thought I had gotten over him. However, after listening to his sappy sad story, my heart was beating faster for him. I was feeling sorry for the monster.
Women are just stupid! Why did I have to be so gullible and try to find excuses for his behavior? He had planned my death! It didn’t matter how gorgeous he was and how badly I wanted to fuck him again. Stupid heart! Or maybe it was not my heart at all.
“What’s wrong, Sarah?” Ewan asked, raising his eyebrow with concern. “I had hoped that you would open up to me. I would like to understand why—or what makes you so reluctant in trusting men. Did someone hurt you?”
“You could say that.”
“Do you want me to kill the jerk?” He tried to put a smile on my lips.
My mouth opened and then closed. His ey
es grew sad when he noticed I didn’t answer, and I was quiet. Tears were rushing to my eyes, but I didn’t want them there. I wanted to swallow the pain and be immune to him. At least the pain was helping my body cool down and stop yearning for the creep, even if he looked like an angel. Lucifer was an angel before turning bad, at least that’s what the Christian mythology alleges. So, I had to toughen up and focus on his ugliness.
“I didn’t want to bring up bad memories,” he said, bringing me to his arms and caressing my hair. “Let’s just take our clothes off and sleep. I want to sleep with you by my side.”
“Since you are homeless and all,” I tried to joke. “Where is all your stuff?”
“I’ll get it tomorrow. Even if I’m not sure if you want me here.”
“You can always sleep on the couch,” I declared, making him chuckle. “Oh, I’m not joking.”
“You wouldn’t be that mean to me,” he stated, losing the laughter.
“But I would. Regardless of what you may think, I’m all but submissive,” I warned him, leaving his arms and getting up so I could change my clothes inside the bathroom.
“We will see about that,” he said before I entered the bathroom and closed the door behind.
* * *
When I came out, Ewan was down on his stomach, slumped on the bed, occupying more space than he should and sleeping heavily, wearing just his boxers. It took long enough to work. I would have to increase the dose the next night. Because I was sure I would have another night like that one. I was pushing my luck. I knew I was.
I was going to lay down beside him when I heard his phone vibrate. It was a nice opportunity to see all the calls and the text messages. I wasn’t going to pretend that I didn’t want to read Anastasia’s messages to him. Maybe I could even find something useful. I had seen him enter his password times enough to know it, so I searched for the phone and, with wide eyes and racing heart, I opened his message box to read the new message that Anastasia had sent him: You want to fuck her, then fuck her and get over with it. I’ll be waiting for you at home. Guys like you don’t change because of love.