by Anna Santos
I frowned at the message and decided to read the previous ones. My heart dropped while reading each one of them. Anastasia was such a bitch, and Ewan was a liar. I had almost fallen for his act. He wasn’t planning to leave Anastasia, he was just taking some time out, claiming that he needed to know what he was feeling for Sarah. And Anastasia was enraged because I was a cheap, slutty version of Violet. A pathetic girl who was mesmerized by vampires and could never understand him as well as she did.
I kneeled on the floor, tears falling, phone in my hand, a blank stare, and a blank mind. Why does it hurt so much?
“Vi,” Galvin called for me.
I snapped my head to look back, unsure if I had heard properly. Is he crazy to come inside my home when Ewan is there sleeping?
“Before you start to yell at me for being here. Listen,” he requested, kneeling behind my back and putting his arms around my waist.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, confused and at the same time grateful for his arms around me, and the peace that he brought to me.
“You called for me.”
“I didn’t.”
“You did, I heard and felt you. You called for me and—I had to come.”
“When?”
“Just now. Why are you crying? Did he do something to you?”
I shook my head and showed him the phone. Taking the phone from my hand, he placed it on the floor without reading the messages. He didn’t need to. He could see how sad I was, and he had felt it.
“You knew he was evil, you knew that it would be difficult to fulfill your revenge. I’m being patient. I’m trying not to feel jealous of the fact that he is touching you.”
“I know,” I sobbed. “We didn’t fuck if that’s what you are thinking.”
“I know. You asked for a sleeping potion. Did it work?”
“I had to increase the dose, and it barely worked.”
“Are you—all right? Did he hurt you? Besides your heart.” I shook my head and he held me tighter. “Let’s get out of here.” He got up with me in his arms.
“And go where?” I asked, girly voice, lowering my defenses around him.
“Watch the stars and talk,” he explained, taking me in his arms and teleporting out of there.
“And if Ewan wakes up?” I asked, understanding we had teleported to the temple where we had spent a lot of amazing moments. The bed was behind us, and I shivered with the notion that all I wanted was to cry until I ran out of tears while in his embrace.
“He won’t wake up anytime soon and even if he does. Who cares? I don’t want you sad.”
“And we came here so you could help me focus again?” I asked with a soft voice and crying eyes. Last time he pulled that line on me, we ended up making love against a door. A bed was an upgrade. But I didn’t know if I could use sex to cure my pain.
“We came here so we could talk, privately,” he said, laying me down on the bed. “Or just to sleep, whatever you wish. You are not in the right emotional state and there is more to us than sex. But I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”
“I want to talk.” I shuddered, chills running up my arms. “And I want you to tell me why you lied.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, kneeling, but he couldn’t conceal the fear that flashed in his eyes. He also looked guilty.
“About Ebony.” He kept his mouth shut, but his eyes were filled with guilt. “He told me about what happened when he was turned into a vampire. About the plan, and how mad he was at you because of Ebony’s death.”
“It wasn’t my fault. I know he blames me, but it wasn’t my fault.”
I kissed his lips, pulled in by his grieving face. “Were you in love with her?” It would explain the grudge and the hatred between them. Yet, I couldn’t help but feel jealous while verbalizing my fear. Two men in love with the same woman. The same two who claimed to love me.
I didn’t have time to make any more conjectures. He answered me promptly. “No.”
“You can tell me the truth.”
“I wasn’t. I had someone else at the time. Ebony was like a sister to me.”
“Why didn’t you stop her from trying to save her husband?”
“She tricked me. Someone helped her run away. I tried to stop her, I even went looking for her. But the other sorcerers didn’t want to put their lives at risk because of her irresponsible behavior. I swear to you, Violet. It wasn’t my fault.”
“I believe you.” I nodded sternly. “But he blames you and the others.”
“He was always selfish like that. It was his egocentricity that made him want to become a vampire. He used the excuse of wanting to stay with Ebony forever, but he was just afraid of dying, afraid of getting old, and he was paranoid. He thought Ebony would leave him for someone younger and more powerful, for another sorcerer like herself.”
“They had a baby.”
“The child was killed when the vampires attacked our village, and because of that, he swore to kill us all to avenge Ebony’s death.”
I sighed. Being next to him gave me peace. I was also glad that he had told me the truth. But I could feel that he was still tense about something. “I guess revenge just makes things worse,” I mumbled, putting my arms around his neck and leaning my forehead against his. I closed my eyes.
“It’s what I’ve been telling you all these years.”
“He called me Violet.”
“When?” He tensed.
“Tonight, but he just slipped. He has the crazy idea that I’m Violet’s reincarnation.”
“He’s a fool then because you are so much more than you used to be. You are a new and improved Violet. A really strong and beautiful woman.”
“I know, I’m really different from what I was. And it’s thanks to you.”
“Ewan didn’t appreciate you. He didn’t know how lucky he was for having your love.”
“But it seems that my death made him sad,” I shared because it was troubling me. “He seemed truly miserable about it as if he never intended to do it.”
Galvin said nothing, and I sighed, frustrated because he was probably thinking that I was finding an excuse for Ewan’s behavior, that my heart was trying to find an excuse to forgive his actions. Hate had consumed me for far too long until I realized it was probably not just hate, but also scorn and rage. Ewan had replaced me with someone younger. He had broken my trust. Even after all the men I had seduced to keep him happy and living a wealthy existence. Even after all the women, I let him feed on. I had forgiven him all the betrayals and all the fights we had because of money, blood, sex, and the secrets. He kept secrets. There were the secret traveling and the secret reunions with other vampires.
It was all rushing into my mind. All the pain before the final betrayal. I was living an existence that was not a fairytale as I thought before I was taken from Ewan. I was so messed-up, so accustomed to the abuses and the obsessive love that I didn’t know that there was something else, something normal. There was true and unselfish love.
I was not living a fairytale love with Ewan. I was living a sick and twisted version of a life with a man who I loved but wasn’t satisfied with just my love and a peaceful existence. Ewan always wanted more. He always wanted more money and my blind obedience. He had claimed that Violet was his life. He was a liar. I wasn’t his whole life. I was just the woman who could put up with his shit and his twisted plans to fool someone else and get what he wanted: money and the attention from females and males who would feed his ego and his pride. I was pathetic. I was another pitiful soul in the world—lost and confused—thinking that being a vampire made me better than humans. I had killed, I had tricked, and I had preyed on the love and lust of men for money while trying to fill a void that not even my love for Ewan was able to fill. I was selfish and evil.
“Galvin,” I mumbled, saddened by my memories and epiphanies, “why did you give me a chance to redeem myself? I was not worth your trouble.”
“You are sad, Violet. I’m here for you,
honey, and we have had this conversation many times before. You know that you are special and everything you have done in the past is not what you are now. You’ve changed. You are a beautiful soul. Besides, there was always good inside of you. You just needed someone to help you see the world differently.”
“It was a bit arrogant of me to think that I could get my revenge.”
“It’s what you needed to help you be at peace with your past,” he said, kissing the top of my head. “So I just have to endure it and wait for you to be ready to let it go.”
“You shouldn’t have to endure it,” I said, my voice trembling with the sadness I was feeling.
Galvin was too good for me. I knew that. I was a lying and deceiving bitch. Who did I want to trick? What could he possibly see in me, other than the pathetic excuse of a soul that did more harm than good?
He sighed. We had had that conversation already. He knew everything I was thinking because I would keep tormenting him with that. I was insecure, but, somehow, he always managed to calm my fears and doubts and to make me feel better about myself.
“I have to accept you in all your forms: the good Violet and the evil Violet. Good Violet is really gentle and sweet, but evil Violet is a really tormented soul, who I still love because even your dark side is enticing to me.”
“You are crazy,” I told him, sighing and staring at the ceiling. But I loved hearing him say that. It made me feel loved. I felt wanted and complete beside him.
It was a new and scary feeling.
“You are strong, Violet. And I’m not saying this to make you happy. You are truly strong. You’ve managed to survive all these centuries, even when you were in an abusive relationship with Ewan. You managed to survive the transformation and endure the pain. You are a bad-ass woman, and I’m proud of you. I’m honored to be part of your life. I’m extremely honored when you say you love me. And all I ask is for you to let me love you and make you happy.”
“Stop babbling and being cute,” I complained, putting my hand over his face, so he would stop saying adorable things that would make me want to cry. “It is hard to be strong when you keep saying things to make me cry, dumbass.”
“And then you have this part of you that is really sensible, but you’d rather pretend to be angry than let the feelings get the best of you.”
“Fine. Say whatever you want, but then you’ll have to endure my insecurities and my tears,” I warned.
“Fine by me,” he teased, and I looked at him sideways. “You’re cute when you pretend to be mad.” He kissed my lips before I could protest, and I let him give me a bit of peace. “Now, I don’t want you sad because of Ewan.”
“I don’t want to be sad, either. But it overwhelmed me. This is getting intense and confusing. And I’m so tired of letting my past haunt me!”
“Then let’s stop talking about it.”
“Okay. Let’s.” I mused for a while, sulking a bit. He kept hugging me so I felt safe. I eventually sighed because it was easier said than done. Thoughts were bubbling inside my head, not letting me think about anything else. “Can you tell me a story so I can think about something else?” I asked, letting him go and staring at his face.
“What story?”
“One of those stories you used to tell me when we were on patrol, and we had nothing to do. It was really cool,” I whispered, feeling nostalgic.
“You mean the stories I would tell you before the artificial illumination made it hard for us to see the stars in the sky?”
“Yes, the stories about the constellations. I always enjoyed it very much.”
“Okay, let’s lay down on the bed, and I’ll tell you a story,” he said, going out of the bed, getting rid of his boots and of his belt while I was in my nightgown watching him.
Then he magically dimmed the lights around us, and he laid down against the pillows, calling for me to join him and lay my head against his shoulder. The bed had a privileged view of the starry night. There was only the sound of the torches burning at the temple, and random bugs making noise on the mountain. I was happy, no tension and no worries, when I was there with him. It was our special place.
He covered me with a quilt and began to stroke my hair. He knew it would eventually make me fall asleep. He knew a lot of things about me and he cared to know them. Galvin cared about me, period.
“Galvin, who helped Ebony go looking for Ewan?” I let my thoughts leave my mouth and return to what was bothering me.
“It was my wife.”
“Why would she do that?” I asked even more intrigued. “Didn’t she know that Ebony could be killed?”
“She did, that was why she let her go looking for him, and that was why she told Ebony Ewan was missing.”
“I don’t understand,” I mumbled, caught in his words.
“Enora was in love with Ewan. She had been his girlfriend before Ewan fell in love with Ebony and got married. She didn’t want them to be happy.”
“Oh,” I whispered in shock. I couldn’t even think how bad that would have been for him. First, because the woman he loved didn’t love him. Second, because his wife was evil and made someone else get killed. Everything happened because she probably wanted Ewan for herself, or to punish him for leaving her. “Was she cheating on you with him all along?”
“I don’t know. She swore she wasn’t. But she also swore a lot of other things and lied a lot.”
“What happened to her?”
“She was banished from our village. I couldn’t continue with her after all she did and—she didn’t love me.”
“True.”
“I guess it’s my curse.”
“What?”
“Have all the women I love in love with Ewan,” he shared his thoughts, making me sulk against his shoulder.
“That’s not true. Besides, I could also think that this is some sort of payback.”
“What do you mean?”
“Ewan stole your one love and you stole his.”
He didn’t answer me back, and it intrigued me. I raised my head to watch him, eyes narrowed with suspicion. He was quiet and pensive.
“I didn’t plan to fall in love with you,” he said. “And I see the irony in all this and the danger of getting hurt again.”
I evaded his eyes and laid my head on his shoulder, hugging him by the waist. I wanted to comfort him.
“In my defense, I understand what a better man you are than he is. I also try to be rational about this and see him as the enemy. He killed thousands of us, stole kids from their parents just to kill them. I know all that.”
“Then, you must understand that all I did was for your good,” he said and I just nodded, agreeing with his words. “You weren’t happy, Violet.”
“What do you mean?”
“Before we took you from him. I watched you for a couple of weeks. We waited for the right moment to grab you and fake your death. You weren’t happy.”
“I thought I was.”
“You weren’t. You were bored, and you wanted something else from life.”
“We had our quarrels, but we would always come to an understanding.”
“That consisted of you obeying his wishes, getting annulled, and giving up on your dreams.”
“I guess I was used to that,” I whispered, accessing my bad memories.
“And with Ewan screwing Anastasia under your own roof, in the living room, while you were sleeping.”
“What?” I asked, opening my eyes wide with his words. “What do you mean?”
“I saw them. You always sent him away from your bed when you were mad at him, and she would come to him and they would do it on the couch, just outside your bedroom door.”
I didn’t know that. I had an idea about it, but I didn’t know they did it while they were in the same house. That was revolting. “You never told me that before.”
“Why would I tell you something like that? It was disgusting. Besides, you knew they were having a relationship behind your back. It was why
she wanted to get rid of you.”
“Why are you telling me this now?”
“So you keep reminding yourself why you hate him. Don’t be mistaken, Violet. He was always a horndog. He would cheat on Ebony with the sluts of the village. And he would act as if it was something normal, a manly thing to do. I really don’t understand the appeal that a man like him has to women.”
“Please, let’s just stop talking about him. I don’t want him ruining our time together,” I requested, sighing deeply, uncomfortable with all the things I was finding out, and all the things I already knew about Ewan. It was making my stomach upset. I knew deep inside that Galvin was feeling unhappy and insecure. I also knew that he was trying to help me keep hating Ewan and justifying my actions against him. I was the victim. Ewan wasn’t anything like he wanted Sarah to believe. I hated the fact that Ewan was taking over my life, even when I was looking for payback. I had Galvin to love. He was everything I ever wished in a man. I shouldn’t be feeling bad because of Ewan being the prick I knew he was.
“Do you still love me after the romantic night you’ve spent with him? Or did he charm you and make you miss your former life together?”
Galvin’s questions woke me up from my doubts. “Well, I had ups and downs,” I answered truthfully. “But I called you, didn’t I? And I missed you and—I can’t keep making the same mistakes.”
“Is it okay if we just sleep and we skip the story?” he asked with a trace of sadness in his voice. I couldn’t help but think it was my fault.
“I’ll do whatever you want, darling,” I mumbled, trying to make him understand that I was there for him and that I loved him.
“Just don’t break my heart, Violet,” he requested and I froze, feeling his words painfully shrinking my heart inside my chest. I didn’t want to break his heart, and what hurt me the most was that he was preparing himself for that.
“If you truly love me, then you must fight a bit harder for me. You can’t give up like that, nor assume that I will go back to Ewan, just because he always had his way. You are not a second option, Galvin. You truly make me happy.”