I must have slept a little because it was suddenly the middle of the day and the healer was here. He looked at my arm and frowned.
Rob climbed unsteadily to his feet and took the healer aside. I didn’t hear what they said, but Rob reached into the neck of his tunic and pulled out the chain where his mother’s wedding ring hung. He’d shown it to me once, when he spoke of his mother, but mostly he kept it hidden beneath his clothing.
When the healer nodded, Rob pulled the chain from around his neck and pressed it into his hand, shaking it vigorously.
No! He’d kept that ring safe for all the years he’d lived in the forest and he had so few reminders of his mother. He couldn’t give it away.
I couldn’t make any noise though. Or if I did, no one listened, and soon they moved me off the floor into one of the hammocks and the healer hovered over me, while Rob, Tuck and Miller crowded behind him.
“Are you sure about this?” asked Miller, disgust filling his voice.
The healer made a sound in his throat while looking inside his bag.
“But…” Both hesitation and disgust from Miller, now. Whatever was happening couldn’t be good.
I started to sit up, but a firm hand—not sure who’s—held me down. I tried to ask what was happening, but my mouth was so dry, and my tongue so huge, I couldn’t form the words.
The healer took my arm. “This might hurt a little,” he mumbled.
Burning pain shot through my arm as he pushed his fingers into my wound. It felt like he was digging in right down to the bone. I pulled at my arm trying to get away, but someone held it tight and placed a cold cloth on my forehead.
“That’s the worst bit.” The healer’s voice floated down to me. “Just had to open the wound a little.” His hand moved over my arm, gentle this time.
Footsteps pounded, sprinting from the hut and I opened my eyes—didn’t recall closing them—just as Tuck disappeared outside. The sound of retching drifted into us.
“Tuck never did have a strong stomach,” Rob said, lightly. But his cheeks were pale and his lips pinched, and he kept looking from my arm to the door where Tuck had disappeared.
I moved my head, the motion catching Rob’s attention. He met my eyes. “Hi,” he whispered. “The healer is just…healing you.”
“With maggots! He’s putting them inside your wound!” added Miller, disgust and awe mixing in his voice.
Yuck. I shook my head. I didn’t want maggots in the same room as me, let alone inside my body. I pulled my arm away, but someone held it tight. “Just relax and lie still.”
Rob spoke softly, his voice close to my ear. “It’s all right, Maryanne. You’re going to be fine.”
I slept after that. Properly, without dreams. When I woke, it was dark. Tuck and Miller were sleeping, but Rob was sitting beside my hammock, the way I’d sat beside his. He held my hand in his, twisting Maud’s ring around my finger. “Where did you get this?” he whispered.
“Maud,” I croaked. “She’s living with my family.” I wanted to tell him how she’d pretended to be me, but Josh knew she was a fake, but my mouth was too dry.
Or maybe I did tell him, because the next time I opened my eyes, Rob swiped away a tear and whispered, “Josh loves you as much as you love him.” He squeezed my hand. “Don’t die, Maryanne,” he whispered. “You can’t die. It’s not supposed to go this way.”
How’s it supposed to go? I tried to ask, but my mouth had gone dry again. My tongue felt huge, and the words wouldn’t form.
“There are things I need to tell you. Things I shouldn’t have kept from you. I thought you were her, and I’ve been so stupid. But I know now.” He swiped a hand across his cheek. “Live, Maryanne. Give me the chance to explain. Please.”
He sat in silence for a long time, just watching me. I might have slept again, but I woke to hear him talking. “I missed you so much while you were gone. I miss you since you came back, too. I want…” He shook his head and his voice turned hard. “I’ll kill him. If you die, I’ll march right into Nottingham and kill my bastard brother. I don’t care what they’d do to me for it. It won’t matter, if you’re dead.”
SEVENTEEN
My eyes fluttered open to Miller stoking the fire. My throat was drier than the desert sands and I was ravenous. I sat up, swinging my legs over the side of the hammock, the foggy haze gone from my mind along with the fever and infection. “I’m so thirsty.” My voice was a rasp in my throat.
Miller turned, a grin splitting his face. “The maggots worked.” He shook his head, like he couldn’t quite believe it. “The healer put them in your arm, and they ate all the dead flesh including the infection.”
I screwed up my nose. That was something I really didn’t need to hear. “Thanks for the visual.” I held back a shiver. It was far too easy to imagine those tiny little grains of rice crawling around inside my arm and eating the dead tissue. It made me feel ill. “Are you sure he removed them all?” Because, it might be my imagination, but it felt like there was still something crawling around in the wound.
“Certain,” smiled Miller. “He checked before he left.”
I shivered again at the thought, then looked around the empty hut. “Where is everyone?”
“John’s hunting.” Miller put up a hand as if he knew what I was going to say. “Before you get too incited, he’s using a slingshot, not his bow.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “I’ll always be excited to hear you mix up words and tell me John is feeling better.” Maybe Miller had done some healing of his own while he was waiting for me to recuperate. “Where’s Tuck? And Rob?”
Miller scratched the back of his neck. “Tuck’s…out. And Rob’s…”
The door to the hut opened, and Rob stood on the threshold, the late afternoon sun at his back. “Thought I heard voices.” His eyes fell on me. “You’re all right.” He let out a breath so deep, his shoulders shook.
I nodded. I felt so much better. “So are you.”
He continued to look at me as if he’d never seen me before. Or perhaps like he’d never expected to see me again. “The infection’s gone and my leg is healing well.”
“Thank you,” I whispered. “For using your mother’s ring to pay for the healer. I’ll repay you. I promise.” I was so happy to see him standing up. I’d been terrified for him, and even once his fever broke, I’d still worried he might not recover.
He shook his head. “No need. You saved me with the pills. I’d say we’re even.”
I nodded as we continued to take each other in.
He took a hesitant step forward. “We need to talk, Maryanne. There’s some things you need to know.”
Miller got to his feet, as if he was going to leave to give us privacy, but Rob shook his head and motioned for him to sit. “Not now, Miller. I have to relieve Tuck.”
“But, I thought since Maryanne is better, you’d wait another day…”
Rob shook his head. “You know I’d stay if I could.”
“You’re leaving?” Going to whatever it was that was dividing his loyalties. “Are you sure you’re well enough?”
He gave a slow nod. “Tuck’s been there for the past few days. John was there before him. It’s time.” His lips flickered like he was trying to smile, but his eyes were sad. “Sorry.”
There were two ways to deal with this. Act like a baby and sulk or be the friend I wanted to be for him. “Don’t be.” I gave him a proper smile. “You’ve done more than enough since I got sick. And Miller and I should get dinner started, anyway.” Once I got out of this hammock. “Be careful.”
He pulled his quiver over his shoulder and picked up his bow. “See you in a few days. Then, we’ll talk. Okay?”
I nodded.
“Bye, Miller.”
Miller, his face completely healed now, didn’t even acknowledge Rob’s goodbye, instead busying himself with making the fire burn hotter, smoke wafting through the hut. Rob cast a final gla
nce in my direction, then walked out the door, shutting it quietly behind him.
Miller kneeled in front of the fire, a log in his hand. His shoulders were tight with tension.
“Are you all right?” I thought Miller was angry, though I couldn’t see his face. Whether it was because of Rob leaving, or something else, I wasn’t sure.
He stood and threw the log at the door so hard, the top hinge shattered, and the door fell sideways, held in place by just the bottom hinge.
Definitely angry. “Miller?”
“I’m fine.” He crossed his arms over his chest.
I stood and made my unsteady way over to him. “Why don’t you sit down for a bit? Relax. I’ll look after the fire.” I watched him from the corner of my eye, as I bent and placed a piece of wood on the fire. His cheeks were a mottled pink and his body hummed with tension. Fine was not the word I would use to describe him at this second.
He watched me for a moment then sighed and went to his pack. Pulling out the book I’d given him, he lay down on his hammock.
I let out a breath. He could get lost in that book for hours, by which time he’d have let go of his anger at Rob.
“It’s shit, you know.” Miller stood, glaring at me with the book in one hand.
“What is?” As if I couldn’t guess.
“Rob.”
It was. Miller had been through a horrible ordeal at Gisborne’s hand, and Rob had always made him feel safe. It stood to reason he’d be upset and scared to see Rob striding off without a backward glance. I had no words of comfort for him. All I had were the words Rob had given me. “He’s trying to protect the people he loves. You know that.”
Miller shook his head. “He says that, but it’s not true. If he cared, he’d be here with us, not…” He threw his arms in the air, as if that explained where Rob had gone.
“I think leaving is a very hard decision for Rob. I think he really wants to be here but feels obligated to be elsewhere.” I was surprised to find, I believed what I said. Rob kept spending time with us in between going wherever it was he went. He wouldn’t come to us if he didn’t want to.
“Well, then, he should grow a pair!” Pink flooded Miller’s cheeks again. “No one is in charge of him. He can do what he wants. If he wants to be here, he should say so, and then do it!” His voice grew louder and more agitated, and the hand that held his book shook with fury.
We were deep in the forest, and far from any of the main trails, but it was never wise to risk anything by raising a voice. “Miller.” I put my hand out walking carefully toward him, hoping to calm him the way I’d calm a scared animal. “It’s okay. The rest of us are here for you.” That was really what this was about. He felt abandoned. I couldn’t even blame him for thinking that way; I felt pretty abandoned every time Rob left, too.
He batted my hand away and raised his voice anyway. “I don’t need you! I don’t even want you! Or anyone. I can look after myself perfectly well. Rob got along fine when he was my age. I can do the same.” Glaring at me, he tossed his book at the fire.
“Miller, no!” I scrambled after it. He might be angry now, but he’d be devastated to lose it once he calmed down.
The book landed at the edge of the embers, the top right corner catching alight immediately. I scooped it out with my fingers and picked up my boot—sitting in front of the fire—to put the flames out. When I looked up again, Miller had pushed through the broken door and was gone.
The top corner of the first half of the book was burnt. There were singe marks all over the front cover and it was blackened with soot. Plus, I’d burned my hand as I plucked it from the embers.
My burn was easy enough to fix. The same remedy as if I were at home—cold water, from the pot beside the fire. The burnt book was an entirely different matter.
“What happened?” John asked, his eyes on the sagging door as he sidled inside. “And, hello, milady. It’s good to see you feeling better.”
I gave him a weak smile from my seat on the floor and pulled my hand from the pot of water. “Miller’s a little upset.”
“He burned you?”
I shook my head and held up his book. “I said the wrong thing, annoyed him and he tossed it into the fire. I burned myself getting it out.”
John let out a low whistle. “That boy’s going to be pretty annoyed at himself when he calms down.”
I thought so, too. “I’m going to try to clean it up. Once my hand stops hurting.”
John frowned at the book. “Good luck to you. I’ll leave you to it.” John held up a rabbit, showing me his catch before going outside to skin it.
I got a cloth, dunked it in water and wiped the front cover. The soot wiped away easily leaving dirty smudges, which lessened the more I wiped. The pages were much harder to repair. Impossible, actually. But I’d pulled it from the fire quickly and it was only the margins that were singed. He could still look at the pictures.
Tuck pushed the hut door open as I began working on the back cover.
“Rob said you were better,” he said, by way of a greeting. “Where’s Miller?” He threw his pack on the ground as John followed him inside, the skinned rabbit in his hand.
I glanced at John, letting him answer. “Don’t know.”
Tuck glared from John to me through narrowed eyes. It was clear he was in a wonderful mood. “How can you possibly not know?”
“Do we know where you are every second of the day?” I snapped. It had been days since I’d eaten, and I had no energy—felt like lying down again. I wouldn’t until I’d fixed Miller’s book, but right now, I had about as much tolerance for one of Tuck’s moods as he had for me.
John stepped between us. “He’s upset. He’s taken a few moments for himself.” It was much longer than a few moments, but if John didn’t think Tuck needed to know that, then neither did I.
“I would be too if you’d thrown my treasured possession into the fire.” Tuck’s words were mumbled as he bent over and fiddled with his pack, but still loud enough that I couldn’t miss them.
“Because that’s clearly what I’ve done,” I said, sarcastically. I turned pleading eyes on John, hoping for some help. I didn’t want to fight with Tuck.
John gave me a half-smile and handed me some dried meat from his pack. “Eat that. You look like you’re about to fall over.” He looked at Tuck. “Maryanne didn’t do this. Miller did.”
Tuck looked between us again, understanding dawning on his face. He held his hand out and I passed the book to him. “Did this happen after Rob left, by any chance?”
I nodded.
John looked at Tuck over my head. “I told you we needed to keep an eye on him. This thing with Rob is hard on him.”
“It’s hard on everyone. But yes, it would appear you were right.” Tuck sighed and sat down in front of the fire, pulling his robe down over his knees.
“Do we need to go and look for him?” I wouldn’t have wanted to be out in the forest alone at night at his age. It was nearly dark and searching for him would be almost impossible. Still, we were all recalling what happened the last time we’d left him alone at night.
Tuck shook his head. “He’ll be fine. Don’t imagine he’s gone far.”
I took the book back from Tuck and continued working on it. Hopefully I’d have it in a much better state by the time Miller returned. But if John and Tuck were expecting a reaction like this from him, it begged a question. “Why do you let Rob do this? You all know how much Miller looks up to him, so why let Rob think it’s okay to live somewhere else?”
John’s gaze was thoughtful. “You think we can stop him once he has his mind set?”
“Of course you can! Or you could at least try.” They were his best friends. He’d listen to them. Especially if they explained how Miller was feeling.
John shook his head with a laugh. “In all the years I’ve known Rob, there’s only ever been one person who could change his mind once it was set. And it’s
not me.”
I looked at Tuck. He put his hands in the air. “Nor me.”
“Then, who?” They both stared my way. “Me?” I shook my head. “No. Rob and I aren’t close.” Anymore, at least. “He certainly doesn’t listen to me.”
John sat down in front of the fire and leaned back on his hands. “Should we talk about the way you first managed to get him to rob carriages?”
He hadn’t wanted to, true. But he was going to be a legend, so it was hardly any work to change his mind.
“Or how he marched down to fight his brother for you.”
“I never asked him to do that. I was fine on my own.” I would never expect Rob, or anyone, to rescue me the way John was suggesting.
“You were. But he came to help you anyway. Even though it meant showing his face to the one person he’d hidden from for years. What about how he wasn’t keen on helping that child in the forest two weeks ago? Like I said, you are the only one who can ever change Rob’s mind about anything. The question is, why haven’t you tried?”
My mind froze. “You can’t think I’m to blame for Rob not being here?”
John placed a comforting hand on my knee. “No. This situation is all Rob’s doing. I’m just asking why you, as the only one of us who can ever make him do something he thought he didn’t want to, haven’t asked him to come back?”
Well, that was obvious. “Because the moment he stopped trusting me, his personal life became none of my business.”
“Stopped trusting you?” John’s eyebrows lifted. He seemed genuinely surprised.
“He’s never told me where he goes, or who he’s protecting, yet he’s told all of you.” That hurt more than I wanted to admit.
John ran a hand through his already messy hair. “And there’s no reason you can think of that might have given him pause?”
I shook my head.
“There’s no reason for him to think—because you once told him there was no way you could return to him—that you might be someone else?” He stared at my hands.
I shook my head again, but his stare lingered, becoming more pointed. I looked down. He couldn’t be serious. “The ring? He thinks I’m Maud? He thinks Gisborne sent me here?”
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