[Clearing the Ice 01.0] This Piece of My Heart

by Robyn M Ryan

  For once, her friend did not give a humorous response. “I had dinner last night at Sullivan’s. I think some of your fellow interns were there. They were laughing and talking about how easy it was to hack social media accounts. When I overheard your name, I started paying attention. I wanted to give you a head’s up—it’s probably not a big deal, but I know how you don’t want your life on the grid.”

  “Shit,” Caryn whispered. “Andrew pointed out I had over a hundred friend requests last night. You don’t think they were able to see my phone number?”

  “Not if you didn’t accept any requests. Or unless someone is a master hacker.”

  “My luck. You’re a lifesaver, Lauren. What are you doing this weekend besides looking out for me?”

  “See who sent requests—you can look at their profiles if you want to.” Lauren’s tone changed quickly. “Guess who called me last night?”

  Caryn laughed. “Do I have a one in three chance of guessing?”

  “Could be.”

  “Okay, was the call long distance?”

  “For me.” Lauren couldn’t restrain herself. “Dave Martin. We’d exchanged a few texts, but I got an actual phone call last night—right when I was leaving Sullivan’s. I was so surprised I was nearly speechless.”

  “I don’t believe that.” Caryn set the iPad aside and stepped toward the window, opening the curtains. “I thought you had some chemistry going the other night. Are you going to get together in Vancouver this summer?” She smiled at both the joy in her friend’s voice and the beautiful day that beckoned.

  “That’s the plan. He’s really fun to talk with. He said if they get to the Final, he’ll get me tickets.”

  “Good, we can go together. I’m really happy for you, Lauren. He’d better treat you well.”

  Lauren laughed. “Don’t forget I do like the bad boys.”

  ***

  After they finished talking, Caryn showered and dressed. Then, she tidied up the room, disposing of the remnants of their dinner, cleaning the balcony, neatly tying the trash bag and setting it in the hallway outside the room. She saw the extra key Andrew had left for her, so she took the bag to the trash room, filled the ice bucket, and went to the lobby shop to buy bottled water and some fresh fruit. She looked for something to brighten up the room, make it feel more like a home. Nothing caught her eye and she sighed, knowing he’d be staying there only a few more weeks.

  Returning to the room, she placed the fruit on a paper plate and cooled the water bottles in the ice bucket. Remembering her conversation with Lauren, she took her iPad out to the balcony and began looking at all the friend requests she’d received in less than twenty-four hours. She recognized many names, her fellow interns and other students, but the majority was unfamiliar. Looking at some of the profiles, she found no pattern or reason why they’d sent friend requests. The whole process made her uncomfortable, and after searching for the delete account option, wiped the account from Facebook. The relief that washed over her reminded Caryn of the influence her father had exerted over her. She remembered Andrew’s comments about her allowing her father to continue to sway her actions. Time to free my mind from his influence.

  Determined to push past that guilt, she went back into the Facebook app and set up a new account, using her correct name and minimal details, taking extra care to be certain that all privacy settings protected her account. For her profile photo, she uploaded a picture she’d taken of the Gateway Arch back in March; then for the background chose a bright garden of blooming tulips she’d captured in Toronto. She leaned back and looked at her page. So this is Facebook. On a whim she typed a brief status update, “Beautiful morning in St. Louis” and snapped the view from the balcony to upload with her message.

  She texted a quick message to Lauren, “Try to find me on FB now. Think I have everything locked down.”

  Lauren quickly replied. “Did you delete everything?”

  “Deleted old account; set up new.”

  A few minutes later, Caryn’s phone chirped again. “Send me a friend request if you get lonely,” Lauren’s text teased. “Couldn’t even send you a friend request. Good job—all I can see is your name, flowers and that arch.”

  “Thanks, I will. Chat later.” She searched for Lauren’s name and sent the friend request. Lauren immediately accepted and posted on Caryn’s timeline.

  “Welcome to the Twenty-First Century.”

  Caryn laughed as she set the iPad on the table and relaxed in the warm morning sun. She didn’t realize Andrew had returned until he sat in the chair beside her.

  “Morning, sleeping beauty.” He leaned to kiss her and Caryn hugged him tightly in response.

  “I’m so happy to wake up here. How was practice?”

  “Good.” Andrew nodded. “Got an intense workout in. Ready for some breakfast?”

  “I brought some fruit up.”

  “I think I’ll need more than fruit. Let’s go down to the restaurant, then you can decide what you want to do today.”

  ***

  Over breakfast, Caryn told Andrew about her Facebook adventures while he was at practice. “I think everything is super-private now. Later, maybe you can try to find my profile.”

  “You can be sure I will.” His blue eyes teased her. “Did you set up the new account because of your internship?”

  “Partly. When I deleted that first profile, I felt relief… then I realized I’d been feeling guilty because of my father. That bothered me, so I set up a real profile. And no, I don’t feel guilty about that.” She tried to bite back her smile. “Maybe now I’ll get over all that.”

  “Just so you don’t feel uncomfortable about the new account. You have nothing to prove.”

  “Lauren couldn’t get into my profile—that makes me feel better since she’s such a whiz online. I sent her a friend request. Now I have an actual friend on Facebook.” Caryn set her fork on the plate and suddenly laughed. “Guess who called Lauren?”

  Andrew shrugged as he shook his head.

  “Don’t you want to try to guess?”

  “Nope.”

  “You have a one in three chance of getting the right person,” she persisted.

  “So I assume. I think I’ll wait for one of those three to say something to me. She may have multiple people calling her. And I’m not getting in the middle of that.”

  “You’re no fun,” Caryn pretended to moan, but she smiled. “So I should not expect to hear any news from you?”

  “Correct.” He nodded toward her plate. “Anything else?”

  “No, that was wonderful. You know what I think we could do today?” She suddenly switched topics.

  “I have a few ideas.” A smile spread slowly across his face. “What do you want to do?”

  “Let’s go look at that community where your teammates live. I hate the thought of you living in this hotel room day after day.”

  “It’s not worth leasing something for the next few weeks…”

  “I know, but you could get an idea for the fall. You might have to get on a waiting list…you know, like you would if you were in Toronto.” She reached for his hand. “I should have encouraged you to get a place right after your move.”

  “I wouldn’t have anyway, Cary. I still don’t know if I’ll be with the Blues next year.”

  “Why wouldn’t you? The Leafs didn’t loan you, did they?”

  Andrew laughed. “No, I won’t be back with the Leafs. At the end of next season, I’ll be a restricted free agent.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It gets complicated. Another team can make an offer, but the Blues would have the opportunity to match it. The Blues could offer a new contract, a two-year deal, or do nothing. In two years, I’m an unrestricted free agent, which gets even more complicated.” He finished his drink and set the glass on the table. “But, good point. Let’s take a look at the area. If there’s something you really like, I’ll see if I can arrange to lease it at the end of the summer.”
He stood after signing the check to his account and took her hand as she stood. “It’s a nice day to drive out there. You might enjoy suburbia St. Louis-style.”

  THIRTY-FIVE

  Andrew returned to Toronto much sooner than he’d hoped; the Blues were eliminated in the Conference Final—just two wins shy of a trip to the Stanley Cup Final. He was moody and quiet, thinking back on each loss, every missed chance for a goal, every puck turned over in the defensive zone, every play that affected the outcome of the series. Caryn gave him space, as Tom had suggested, knowing that his brother tended to take a few days to put the season in perspective. She felt guilty over her happiness that he’d returned home, but she also understood his frustration over coming so close to the Final.

  She had limited free time during the day, between her internship and summer courses. She used the ninety minutes between classes to knock out her homework, and by the time she returned home around six, her evenings were free. She and Andrew slid easily back into the routine they’d established before the trade—dinner together, long walks when the weather cooperated, sometimes going out to a club, or most often relaxing in one of their homes.

  Caryn only mentioned hockey when Andrew brought it up, taking care to be positive and upbeat with other news she shared with him. She actually got him to laugh when she recounted some of the “interesting” situations among the interns. She, Kevin, and Amy still worked in concert with the bank staff, none deemed ready to take on the responsibility of working unmonitored. Caryn recorded instances where she’d let slip glaring errors in a preliminary post—errors that she recognized only when Jennifer pointed them out to her—showing Andrew the “best of” those that required only a press of the “submit” button to hit the Internet and haunt her forever.

  “I’m so worried I’ll accidentally post something before it’s approved—I compose in Word, then copy/paste once I get the okay. I’m afraid I’ll embarrass the bank with something, and you know things on the Internet never really go away.”

  They were relaxing in her living room after a light dinner, Caryn perched beside him on the sofa as she held her iPad so he could see her “near-misses.” He took the tablet and set it on the coffee table, and then he moved closer beside her.

  “Relax, Cary. You won’t embarrass the bank or yourself.” Andrew smiled affectionately as he brushed his lips against her forehead. “I’m sorry I’ve been so distant since I got home. You can stop walking on eggshells.”

  “I’m not,” Caryn protested, but he waved his hand.

  “I know how I am at the end of the season. Coming back home to you is the only thing that’s kept me somewhat sociable. I’m through replaying and analyzing every play. It was a good season. When it started, I never thought I would wind up in St. Louis two wins away from the Stanley Cup Final.” He pulled her closer and kissed her. “I promise, no more pouting.”

  Caryn bit back her giggle. “I can’t imagine you pouting—except maybe as a little boy.”

  “No doubt I did—I’m sorry if I said anything that hurt you.”

  “I’m fine. I’m so happy you’re home. Now can you help me with my homework between classes?”

  “You bet. Just tell me where and when to meet you. What are we taking?” Andrew looked around the living room. “Where are your textbooks?”

  Caryn pointed to her backpack near the stairs. “Light load this summer—a boring management class I should have taken last year and the intermediate graphics design.”

  “More hours in the media lab?”

  “Fraid so.”

  “Can’t you get student pricing on the software?”

  “It’s still expensive, I don’t even know if my Mac will run it, and I don’t have a printer like in the lab. Or if I’ll even need it. I just enjoy learning how to create and experimenting with different tools.” She leaned her head against his shoulder. “Did you hear anything on any of the condos we looked at in St. Louis?”

  “Mind reader.” She heard the laughter in his response. “Just found out this afternoon. The one you really liked is available.”

  “You put down a deposit?”

  “I did—and I need to sign a lease. Should be coming via email today. Had to use Andrews and Martin as references—hopefully they’ll be in a better mood than I’ve been.” She felt his shrug. “If things change over the summer, I’ll just pay the penalty to break the lease.”

  Caryn pulled back slightly to look at him. “You’re going to pay rent on two apartments this summer? When does your lease renew here?”

  “End of June. I’ll just go month-to-month.”

  “Why not stay here? You don’t need to pay for two places.”

  Andrew cupped her chin in his hand. “Don’t you like your space?”

  “If I had a stranger for a roommate.”

  He kissed her forehead. “We don’t need to decide tonight. Think about it. You might not like having me twenty-four-seven.”

  Caryn’s laugh was genuine. She touched his cheek. “After being apart so long, I want to be with you as much as possible before you’re gone again in September. End of discussion?”

  His blue eyes sparked mischievously. “Be careful what you ask for.”

  “I only ask for things I want.”

  ***

  Andrew informed his landlord that he would not renew his lease, scheduling movers for a long weekend when Tom could help. Caryn moaned that she couldn’t miss two days at work, and Drew teased her that she could rearrange everything when they could visit St. Louis together.

  “I don’t need to rearrange anything. I love how you decorated your apartment. I just want to help.” She looked around his kitchen and living room. “Do you know what’s staying here? I can at least work on that.”

  “Besides whatever clothes I can fit in your closet?” A grin accompanied his question. “And maybe my own dresser, if you can squeeze it in somewhere.”

  Caryn pushed him playfully. “There’s plenty of room in my closet.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “I’m going to go through it and get rid of anything I haven’t worn in a while.”

  Andrew’s raised his eyebrows skeptically.

  “I’ll take care of it this week. Just let me know how much room you need.”

  “You’ve seen my closet,” he continued to needle her. “And I’ve seen yours.”

  “Well, there’s plenty of space to expand or add a second closet. And we can get another dresser that matches the furniture.” Caryn’s expression reflected her annoyance.

  Andrew pulled her into his arms. “I’m not worried. Just having a little fun with you.”

  “Well, just let me know how much space you need. Have you even decided what you’re leaving here and taking to St. Louis?”

  “Nope.”

  “You do know you are frustrating me?” Caryn pulled back and locked eyes with him. He bit back a smile as he nodded, holding her gaze until they both started to laugh.

  “Are you rethinking your invitation to stay with you during the off-season?”

  “Possibly. I think you need to convince me we’re compatible.” Her eyes issued an invitation he could not misinterpret. Andrew laughed softly as he scooped her off her feet and carried her to his bedroom.

  “How much convincing do you need?”

  “Oh, tons. It might take you a long while.” She kissed him softly. “A very, very, very long while.”

  ***

  The week before Andrew and Tom’s trip to St. Louis, he asked Caryn if she wanted to accompany him to Ottawa for a meeting with his agent. “Just a day trip,” he promised. “Up and back Wednesday.”

  “I’d love a day trip with you…but I can’t miss work. Classes I would ditch, but it’s rather frowned on at the bank.” They had just returned to the townhouse from Caryn’s last class. Caryn grabbed two bottles of water from the kitchen, handing one to Andrew as she sat at the kitchen table. “I’m not liking this work interfering with my summer…our summer.”

&n
bsp; Andrew pulled a chair beside her. “The internship’s over in a few weeks, isn’t it?”

  “Not a minute too soon. I’m so anxious I’m going to make a mistake, I am making really stupid mistakes. I don’t think Jennifer is ever going to turn me loose—and at this point, I don’t want to go solo.” She looked over at him. “At least I know what I don’t want to do for a career.”

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself. I’d trust you with my accounts, no oversight needed.”

  “You’re a brave man.”

  “Good judge of talent. Think about it, at least. I was going to talk with Don about this tomorrow anyway.” He leaned to kiss her forehead. “Flexible hours and I can offer some great benefits.”

  “Oh, benefits? Care to elaborate?”

  His blue eyes told her everything and caused her stomach to do its little flip-flop…well, big flip-flop. His smile indicated he knew her reaction, and he drew her toward him as he kissed her with a passion that left her breathless. “And that’s just one benefit. Shall I continue?”

  She slipped her arms around his neck. “Please do.”

  ***

  Over a late dinner on the patio, Andrew mentioned his job offer again. “Before you say no, I finally took a look at all my accounts earlier today. Total amateur hour, and whoever’s handling it obviously has no clue about hockey or marketing. I let Don know it was not acceptable. I know you can manage the creation of professional-looking pages. Bonus, you’re a natural at all things marketing.”

  “Except analytics,” Caryn reminded him with a smile. “Can you show me the accounts?”

  “Absolutely. I think you’ll be as disappointed as I was. But that’s what you get when you don’t take time to check on things you’ve delegated.” He sipped his beer. “Didn’t seem important until I looked at what’s being put out there in my name. Lesson learned.” He lifted the bottle of wine. “Refill?”