Fearing Fate

by C. C. Dado

  “Yeah, if you really want to.”

  “I used to cook a lot on the farm. We didn’t do many desserts, but I’m pretty good with meats and vegetables.”

  “Well, why wait until later? Throw on an apron, and get over here,” Seth said, now sounding excited at the prospect of help.

  Zeus wanted to hug Seth for his kindness. Toren looked up at Zeus like he wasn’t quite sure if he should join Seth. Zeus closed the distance between them and tuned his next words only for Toren.

  “I’ll be back in a little bit.” With that he turned and walked out.

  ZEUS HEADED straight for the commune, calling the doc on his way. Last night after Toren had fallen asleep, Zeus had gone through his bag to find his medicine. He’d opened the lid on the bottle of liquid, inhaling the scent and cataloging the ingredients in his mind. He’d sent the list to the doc, asking her to research its medicinal uses.

  The doc answered on the first ring. “Hello, Zeus.”

  “Hey, Doc.”

  Eisa had been the pack doctor for the past ten years. Her dad had been the pack doctor before her.

  “I looked over your list. You said this person was taking this for seizures? Are you sure that’s why?”

  “That’s what he said. Why?”

  “Nothing in this list is used for seizures. Honestly, Zeus, in my opinion, all this is, is a prettied-up poison.”

  Nausea instantly ate at Zeus’s gut, making him unable to respond.

  “Zeus? I’m sorry. You said the monkshood smelled diluted. Depending on the dose of monkshood in the mixture, you could take this for years without any permanent damage. I just can’t figure out why someone would do that, ’cause it will make you feel awful. Unless they had an acute case of arthritis—it can be used as an anti-inflammatory if the benefits outweigh the side effects, and for some it would. But, Zeus….” The doc’s pause caught Zeus’s full attention. “It’s also been used against shifters in these diluted doses.”

  “Against shifters? Why would you give a diluted dose that wouldn’t kill us? We don’t get arthritis,” Zeus asked, wishing he had paid more attention in pack science classes.

  “In diluted doses it would stop a shifter from being able to shift. It would force your wolf into suppression.”

  Zeus’s mind was spinning. He pulled over to the side of the gravel road leading up to the lodge. Toren’s words from last night replayed in his head. “It feels… it feels like something inside me pulls me in certain directions, and not just intuition. It’s almost like I’m fighting against myself.”

  Holy shit. Toren was a shifter. The knowledge washed over him like a rain of truth. Was it possible that he didn’t know? Could his parents have figured out they could suppress his wolf and not have told him? At least one of them had to be a shifter.

  “Zeus?”

  The voice coming through the phone snapped him back. “Sorry, Doc, yeah, I’m here. Thank you for the information.”

  “If he is a shifter, you need to be very careful with how you proceed. He would need to be weaned off the medicine. Depending on how long he has been taking it, his wolf could destroy him mentally and physically during a shift if he just stops taking it.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Good luck. Call me if you need any help,” Doc said, then disconnected the call.

  Zeus pulled back onto the road, heading to the lodge. His mind was still spinning.

  Thankfully Christian was the only one there when he arrived. Zeus knocked as he went in, going straight for Christian’s office. The alpha looked up from his desk as Zeus entered.

  “What’s wrong?” Concern flashed across his face.

  Zeus sat in a chair opposite Christian, not even sure how to start the conversation.

  “I think Toren is a shifter.”

  “I think so too.”

  Zeus’s eyes flashed up in shock at Christian. How could he know? “How?”

  “I wasn’t positive. I could feel there was something different about him. I felt drawn to him in an alpha way, like I am to you. I am connected to everyone in this pack, and with Toren I felt it too, but it was… muffled, I guess, would be the best way to describe it.”

  “I think his parents were poisoning him with a diluted dose of monkshood.”

  Christian leaned back in his chair in disgust. “Why would someone do that?”

  “I think they were suppressing his wolf. He said he’s been taking the medicine his mom makes since he was a teenager, because he started having seizures. I don’t think he knows he’s a shifter, Christian, and we can’t tell him.”

  “Why?”

  “I talked with Doc, and she said if we’re right and he is a shifter, that he needs to be weaned off the medicine or his wolf could destroy him. I think if I tell him his parents were poisoning him, it would have the same effect. It’s too much for him to take. I won’t risk it.”

  “What do you need?”

  “Time.” Zeus figured out what he needed to do as he said it. “I need to wean him off those meds and at the same time show him what is here for him. If he has a solid support group of friends when he finds out, he may be okay, or at least he’d have a shot.”

  Christian nodded in agreement. “It’s not just friends he needs. He’s going to need his mate. You are what will get him through this. Don’t underestimate your bond. The less of the medicine he takes, the closer his wolf will come to the surface and the stronger your bond will get.”

  The thought of it made Zeus’s heart hurt with longing.

  “In the meantime, I’m going to get ahold of my contact from Kimber and Kron’s pack. If the man looking for them knew Toren, he may have been from that pack and not known it. Maybe they know of him or his parents.”

  “Thank you, but I don’t want you to do anything that could bring more attention to Kimber and Kron.”

  “Thank you, my friend, for thinking of them, but I am as well. Don’t worry, I do know how to do discretion. Now let’s talk about the guy that Toren is supposed to contact.”

  “I’ve thought about that. What if we give him what he wants?”

  “What?” Christian was looking at him like he’d lost his mind.

  “We give him a hunter’s trail. Or what he thinks is a hunter’s trail, anyway.”

  “I like where you’re going.” Christian smiled across the desk.

  “I’ll need some pack help to create some leads from one of the other locations off of the list Toren was given. I’m thinking maybe the kids went across the Atlantic, maybe there was a small plane crash?” Zeus knew most of the American packs had fled Europe, just as theirs had centuries ago. The thought that someone would still have ties there was realistic.

  “They think the kids are gone and they no longer have a need for Toren. Nice.”

  Zeus still got a rush at his alpha’s praise.

  “If anyone can create the kind of information trail we need, it’s Wizard. I’ll get him started on it first thing tomorrow.”

  Wizard was the pack hacker, technically illegal in most cultures, but there was a need in theirs. He was a wizard of virtual reality, hence his name. He swept the web to make sure their culture stayed in folklore and never strayed into any evening news.

  “Once he has it all ready, we’ll have him send photos from a fake email set up in Toren’s name.”

  Zeus got up from the chair, feeling better at having a plan of action. “Thank you.”

  “Always, Zeus. Go take care of your mate.”

  WHEN ZEUS got back to the bakery, Toren had already gone upstairs. Seth informed him Toren had said he was tired. Zeus double-timed it up the stairway. Toren was asleep on the couch when he entered. He walked closer, taking in his mate, the dark circles still too prevalent on his face. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there before Toren’s eyes slowly opened.

  “Hey,” he said, giving Zeus the sweetest smile.

  “Hey yourself. How are you feeling? Seth said you were tired.”

  “It’s a sid
e effect of my medicine.”

  Zeus walked over and sat on the coffee table in front of Toren. “I wanted to talk to you about that.”

  Toren’s eyebrows pinched in confusion.

  “I talked with our doctor here in Easter Valley about your seizures. She’s one of the best doctors in the country, and she’d like you to come in and see her, but she said she would need you to wean yourself off your medicine first so she can run some accurate tests.”

  Toren’s relaxed, sleepy posture changed to one of familiar anxiety as he pulled his knees up closer to his chest.

  “Hey.” Zeus reached over and caressed the side of his neck. “I would never tell you to do this if I didn’t think she could do amazing things for you. Aren’t you tired of feeling sick all the time? I hate seeing this beautiful face marred with dark circles.” He ran his thumb gently under Toren’s eye.

  “What if the seizures start again?”

  “I will be here with you. And if it turns out she can’t help you, you go back on your mom’s medicine,” Zeus assured him, even though he knew Toren would never be taking that poison again.

  They both sat in silence while Toren thought over Zeus’s words. He finally stared into Zeus’s eyes. “Okay,” he agreed quietly.

  “Thank you.” Zeus smiled down at him. “Are you hungry? I’m not a master chef like Seth, but I can probably whip something up.”

  “Yeah, that sounds good. What did Christian say about your idea?”

  “We have a plan,” Zeus assured him, not wanting to give too much detail, even though Toren was looking at him like he wanted to know more. “Why don’t you find a movie or something for us to watch.”

  Toren nodded, obviously a little disappointed Zeus didn’t tell him more.

  Zeus went through the few food items he had brought to the apartment and found soup and crackers. He thought that might actually be perfect for Toren. As he cooked, he looked over at Toren channel surfing and felt content in a way he had never felt before. They were going to get through this.

  THE NEXT few days went pretty smoothly. Toren started taking less of his medication. Wizard was working his magic. He had tracked down the guy from the email address Toren had given them and found evidence that Toren wasn’t the first person he’d sent to try to find the kids. The last one was a tracker who ended up dead after getting in a fight with someone from another pack. There were rules in the shifter world that you abided by so this stuff didn’t happen. Shifters were territorial creatures by nature. It was an unspoken rule to inform another pack if you were going to be on their land. Zeus wondered if that was why they blackmailed Toren, because his wolf was pushed down so far no one would even know. Theoretically he could enter pack lands without suspicion.

  Christian was waiting to hear back from his contact, so hopefully they would have more information soon.

  Toren had become a regular fixture helping out in the bakery. Zeus was real thankful to the boys for opening up to Toren, although he noticed the less medication Toren took the harder it was to stay away from him all day. Zeus had picked up a more than normal urge for baked goods the last few days, so that’s where he found himself again—bellied up to the bakery counter, hoping to catch a glimpse of Toren in the back.

  “You’re acting different lately, more stalkery than normal,” Max said, Kron once again strapped to his chest. “Why don’t you just tell him you like him? I mean, at first I was leery—you know, stranger danger and all that—but I really like Toren. And I can’t sit here and watch you binge-eat your love. Seriously, you’ve eaten nine breakfast buns so far today. I can’t have you vomiting all over my display case—how bad would that be for business. You just need to admit to him that your big overstuffed lovesick heart can’t stand to be away from him.”

  Zeus frowned at Max, his stomach rolling after that last bun.

  “Hmm… just going to ignore me, are you? We’ll see how well that works for you,” Max said, adjusting Kron in the pack.

  Zeus grabbed a newspaper off the counter, continuing to ignore Max, and sat down at the café table next to Kimber, picking up a crayon to help her color.

  “What doing, Unca-Eus?” Kimber asked, looking up, bright-eyed, from her paper.

  “Uncle Zeus is hiding, sweetie,” Max answered, bringing her over a snack.

  “Hide-and-seek?”

  “Yes, but he’s playing hide-and-seek with his emotions. It’s the hardest of all the hide-and-seek games.”

  “Oooooo,” she said, impressed.

  Zeus lowered his head in defeat. “Fine,” he said, turning to look at a cocky Max. “I don’t want to rush anything, but everything you said was correct.”

  “Ahh, the feeeels…,” Max said with a smile, squishing Kron into Zeus as he hugged him.

  “Here’s another batch of….” Toren’s words fell away, followed by the sound of a tray dropping onto the floor. “Umm… I’m….” Toren stopped talking, instantly kneeling down to pick up the mess.

  Zeus got up to go to him, confused by what had just happened, but Max put a hand on his shoulder, pushing him down.

  “I think your ‘stalkee’ might not like other men touching you,” Max whispered in his ear. “It’s a mate thing.”

  Zeus didn’t think that was it at all. Why would Toren be jealous of Max, for Christ’s sake?

  “What happened?” Seth asked, coming out of the kitchen.

  “Oh, nothing,” Max said. “I spilled something there earlier and didn’t get it all cleaned up. It’s probably still slippery. Sorry about that, Toren.”

  “Umm, no problem,” Toren said, looking over at Zeus before rushing back into the kitchen.

  Zeus didn’t stay long after that. He actually did have some work to get done that he’d been half-assing all day, thinking about Toren as usual.

  TOREN WAS in the small kitchen washing his hands when Zeus got back to the apartment.

  “Hey,” Zeus said, feeling lighter just being in Toren’s presence.

  “Hi,” Toren said, turning and heading toward his room.

  “Hey,” Zeus said again, gently grabbing his arm to stop him from going. The fact that Toren wouldn’t meet his eyes let him know something was wrong. “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing. I was just going to go to bed. Tired, I guess, from today,” Toren said, trying to move past Zeus again.

  Zeus gently touched Toren’s jaw, trying to get him to look at him without forcing him. “Talk to me, please. I can tell something is wrong. Toren, I really want there to be an us, so if something is bothering you, I’d like to talk about it.”

  The tortured look on Toren’s face didn’t give Zeus a lot of hope.

  “I think I need to go back to my full dose of meds.”

  “Why? It’s only been a few days.”

  Toren looked even more in pain at his words, trying to look away. “I don’t feel right.”

  “How?” Zeus asked, guiding Toren to a kitchen chair. Zeus knelt down in front of him, his greater height putting them face-to-face. “Tell me what you’re feeling.”

  They sat in silence until Toren spoke.

  “I really am crazy.”

  “Why do you think that?” Zeus asked, unable to stop himself from caressing the side of Toren’s neck to comfort him.

  “Do you remember what I said about feeling conflicted inside?”

  “Yes.”

  “When I walked out to the front of the bakery today and saw Max with his arms around you, I couldn’t….” Toren stopped talking, inadvertently pushing Zeus’s hand out of the way as he grabbed his head, like it would somehow help him gather his thoughts. “I felt out of control.”

  Zeus felt his brow relax, realizing Max was right, this really was a mates jealousy situation. His chest filled with the knowledge that the bond that was so precious to his people was there. Zeus couldn’t hold back the smile on his face.

  “Why are you smiling?” The hurt in Toren’s words was clear.

  “I’m sorry, but you’re n
ot crazy, Toren. I haven’t told you a lot about my culture, but we believe there is one soul out there that is meant to be your other half, like a perfect circle coming together. And if you are lucky enough to ever find that person, the power of that emotion is overwhelming. You are that person for me.” Toren’s eyes welled up at Zeus’s words. “And Max was actually hugging me because I admitted I had been eating myself to death at the shop all morning just so I could see you.” The admission got him a smile. “I would feel the same way if I saw someone touching you.” Zeus put his hands on Toren’s waist, pulling him forward into an embrace. “You are not crazy, baby.”

  He felt Toren’s arms tighten around him like a lifeline.

  They stayed like that, finding comfort in the embrace. “Can I kiss you?”

  “Yes,” Toren said on a breath.

  Zeus pulled back from the embrace, pausing right before their lips touched. Zeus kept the kiss light, not wanting to scare him, and pulled back after only a moment.

  “It’s going to be okay. I promise you. How about we find something good on TV?” Zeus asked, gesturing to the couch, thinking nothing sounded better than holding Toren through an entire movie.

  “I’m actually pretty drained from today,” Toren said.

  “Okay, sure,” Zeus responded, rubbing his hand over his shaved head, trying not to let his disappointment show. He turned toward the couch.

  “Wait.”

  Zeus looked back, a little concerned by the nervous, almost scared look on Toren’s face. He’d thought they were getting past that.

  “I….”

  “What?” he prodded gently.

  Toren took a breath like he was inhaling for courage. “Would you come lie down with me?”

  “Of course,” Zeus said, understanding Toren’s need to be close even if he didn’t. He knew what Toren’s wolf needed after today—comfort.

  Chapter 8: Life in Easter Valley

  IT WAS another few days before they heard back from Christian’s contact.