Attachment Strings

by Chris T. Kat

  “No, that wouldn’t be good for our reputation,” I agreed.

  “Especially not for mine.”

  I pulled the car into traffic. “You don’t have a reputation.”

  “Of course I have one. I’m the bad guy, remember?”

  “You’re not the bad guy. You’re the nutty detective.” I glanced over at Parker, who seemed to enjoy our banter as much as I did.

  “Whatever. You want to call it a night or talk to one more?”

  “Don’t you have a date tonight?”

  “I have, but it’s at eight, so how about it?”

  “Is there someone on the list who’s on our way?

  Parker rustled the sheets. His index finger moved over the paper until it came to a halt on the end of the first page. “Samuel Fisher, six years old. Lives with his legal guardian, his brother Alexander Fisher. They stay on Florida Avenue.”

  I gripped the wheel so tightly my knuckles stood out white. There had to be more than one person named Alex living in Atlantic City. Maybe “Alex” wasn’t even a nickname of Alexander Fisher. I told myself to quit obsessing and drove us safely to Florida Avenue.

  I caught Parker’s worried glance when we got out of the car. Ignoring it, I strode forward at a brisk pace, which left Parker running after me. By the time I pressed the bell, he had caught up with me. My jaw was tightly clenched. In fact, it was clenched so tightly my teeth began to hurt. It cost me great effort to loosen up.

  No one reacted to the bell. Impatiently, I pressed the bell twice in rapid succession. Parker opened his mouth but shut it when I bestowed a menacing glare on him. Someone yelled from the inside, though it sounded muffled to us. “I’m coming, I’m coming! Just a second!”

  Did the voice sound familiar? Or was it just wishful thinking? Did I even wish it to be him? Last night I had dissed him without any further thought and without giving him a chance to explain. Not that he needed to explain himself to me. What with the no-strings-attached agreement.

  We heard a chain rattling from the inside; then the door unlocked. The man that opened up showed us his back at first while he shifted the weight of a child in his arms. I cataloged everything I could see of the young man: the blond tousled locks and the slender back straining under the weight of his bundle.

  It shouldn’t have, but it still came as a surprise when the young man turned to us with an apologetic smile on his face.

  “Alex,” I greeted.

  “J-JEFF,” Alex stuttered before he caught himself and went on more self-assured, “What are you doing here? Changed your mind?”

  My left eyelid started twitching. How could one person be that arrogant? “Excuse me?”

  A bit more hesitantly, he said, “Did you change your mind about giving me a chance to explain? How did you find out my address?”

  Unbelievable. Fucking unbelievable. “I didn’t even know your last name, and I’m not here for personal reasons.”

  “You’re not?”

  Alex’s self-confident posture crumbled in record time as soon as I explained, “This is a duty call, not a bootie call. We’re investigating something and have some questions for you.”

  Alex blushed as I stepped aside to show Parker standing behind me. He nodded at Alex. “Hey there, boy. How’re you doing?”

  Irritated, I glanced at my partner. Why the hell did he call him boy? Parker caught my glance and shrugged. I heard Alex saying, “I’d shake your hand, but I’ve got my hands full. This is Sean, by the way.”

  I turned toward him. “This is Sean?”

  A shrill, piercing whistle startled both Parker and me. Alex appeared to be the only one unperturbed. He smiled at the child in his arms and asked, “You wanna stand and say hello?”

  Another piercing whistle answered. This time Parker and I merely winced. We exchanged a worried glance when Alex shifted the weight of his bundle until the child stood on his feet.

  “Should he, uh, even try to stand?” Parker asked cautiously.

  “I’m holding him and he loves to stand and walk.” Alex wound his arms around the child’s torso and together, they maneuvered him around until he faced us. The boy’s movements were spastic and I hastily took a step backward, barely evading getting hit by his flailing limbs.

  The boy was as blond as Alex, but he bore not even a trace of Alex’s beauty. The skin on his face was stretched taut and saliva trickled from the corner of his mouth in a steady stream. The bandana he wore functioned probably as some kind of bib; it just looked more stylish. I wrinkled my nose. The sight of this kid was not pretty. Most definitely not.

  Alex’s smile faltered and he hunched his shoulders. I watched him take in a jerky breath and when he looked at me, I discovered a sheen of wetness in his eyes. Astonished, I deduced him to be close to tears. I just didn’t know why.

  The boy made another attempt at speaking, but only gurgling noises came forth. I stared at him and his flailing arms. He certainly tried to communicate with me. I just had no clue how to react to his attempts. Parker let out an exasperated sigh and clasped one of the boy’s hands in his own. “Nice to meet you, Sean, I’m Detective Trenkins.”

  Sean’s head bobbed up and down so fast I feared it would fall off. It didn’t, though. “The name Mr. Clark gave us was Samuel Fisher, not Sean Fisher.”

  “His full name is Samuel Sean Fisher. Everyone always calls him Sean.”

  “Wouldn’t it have made more sense to name him Sean Samuel Fisher?” The venom in my voice surprised even me. Parker cleared his throat loudly, while Alex looked at me dumbfounded.

  The dumbfounded expression didn’t hold for long. With equal acidity, he replied, “That’s none of your business, is it? What do you want from us? And why did you talk with Mr. Clark? Sean is doing well in school and we’ve got everything arranged. Don’t you usually bring someone from welfare with you?”

  Confused, I blinked. “Welfare? We’re running an investigation, or more precisely, we’re investigating if an investigation should be started.”

  “That doesn’t make any sense at all to me. Get to the point.”

  “The point is that we need to ask you a few questions. I take it that you’re Alexander Fisher, Samuel Fisher’s legal guardian?”

  “Yes,” Alex ground out.

  He swept his little brother up into his arms so briskly it set off all my alarm bells. If that wasn’t a protective gesture born out of pure fright, I didn’t know what it was. I almost didn’t get his next words. “I need to feed Sean. If you’ve got any questions, come in or come again another day. What is it going to be?”

  Alex’s eyes displayed his fright and anger. At the same time, his stance showed him ready to fight and protect. A rather disconcerting sight in my book. He shouldn’t be afraid of us. We were supposed to be the good guys.

  I doubted I had come across as a good guy during the last few minutes. I didn’t even try thinking about yesterday evening where I hadn’t given him a chance to explain about the phone call and Sean.

  “We’re coming in.” I kept my voice steady and confident. It had nothing to do with how I felt at that moment.

  Alex turned on his heels, one hand pressed against the back of Sean’s head, cradling it securely from flailing back and forth. Did the boy have any control over his body at all? At least he had been able to stand with support.

  Parker and I followed Alex into the house. Sean’s head rested on Alex’s shoulder and he made no secret of scrutinizing us. His eyes were the same color as Alex’s, a very deep brown, almost black. They seemed like bottomless pits, challenging me. I did my best not to show my unease too openly. I wasn’t very successful.

  We walked through a short hallway and entered a small kitchen. Alex placed Sean in a wheelchair, fixed belts on his feet and waist, and tied a big bib around his neck. He pointed to the chairs standing opposite Sean’s wheelchair. “Have a seat.”

  The table had already been set for two people. It was awkward sitting at the table, watching Alex prepare a sandw
ich for his brother. Sean told him what he wanted, though I didn’t get how Alex understood one single word. Still, he chattered on with his brother, even encouraged him to place a slice of salami on his bread. Horrified, I watched Sean crumple the salami in his hand, then smash it onto the bread.

  I glanced at Parker, who stared at the scene in front of him in fascination. He didn’t show any sign of disgust, though, which bothered me. Since when was he so open-minded? Did he remember scenes from his childhood? How could Alex praise Sean for his effort when the end result was truly, uh, interesting to look at?

  I jumped when Alex asked curtly, “What did you want to ask?”

  After cutting the sandwich in neat little cubes, he gently pressed a fork into Sean’s left hand. He waited until Sean held it securely in his fist. Only then did he let it go. The fork crashed down on the plate forcefully, eliciting a loud clinking sound of metal against porcelain.

  “Wouldn’t it be, uh, safer to use plastic cutlery?” I asked.

  “That’s your question?” Alex retorted mockingly. He didn’t try to conceal his anger. I didn’t blame him. I was angry with myself. Though we probably had different reasons. I didn’t like making a fool of myself.

  “No, it’s not. I’m simply curious as to why.”

  “Plastic isn’t good. It breaks too easily and you don’t want a plastic fork or spoon to break in someone’s mouth. The risk of severe injuries is too big.”

  Alex guided Sean’s hand with the fork to his mouth and, after he’d taken the bite, helped him lower that hand. Sean chewed openmouthed, but Alex quickly laid fingers underneath his chin and with that Sean’s mouth closed. The movement spoke of practice. Curiosity got the better of me and I asked, “Where are your parents?”

  Alex’s shoulders tensed immediately. “That’s none of your business. Do you mind asking the questions you’re here for?”

  Heat rose in my face. I had overstepped the line and he did have reason to be angry with me. Despite this knowledge and maybe because of my guilty conscience, I snapped, “I know you like to be in charge, but this is a police investigation. We are in charge and you’re not.”

  At first, his face lost all color. Seconds later his cheeks reddened and he ducked his head. He busied himself by helping Sean pierce another piece of his sandwich. Sean scowled at me and ranted loudly. At least I interpreted his gibberish as a rant. He didn’t seem too fond of me and my attitude toward his big brother.

  Parker thwarted any other comment by saying, “Have you received any threats on Sean’s life?”

  Alex blanched. The next second he erupted. “Are you insane? How can you ask such a question with Sean in the same room? Why would someone threaten him? Oh wait, is this some perverse game of getting back at me?”

  Parker slowly shook his head whereas I planted my hands on the table surface, bent over a bit, and asked, “Did you just accuse us of using our jobs for getting back at you? Have you been watching too many bad cop movies?”

  “What am I supposed to think? You acted like a nutcase yesterday just because I had to get back home earlier than I assumed. Next thing I know, you’re here, asking idiotic questions, and showing very clearly how disgusted you—oh shit!”

  Chapter 10

  THE fork crashed down hard on the plate. So hard in fact that a delicate fracture line became visible. Alex’s furious face softened as he turned around to his brother. The boy mewled pitifully and tears rolled down his cheeks. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, baby. I didn’t mean… they don’t… oh please, hush now. No one is disgusted by you.”

  Sean started to cry in earnest. Parker and I exchanged an embarrassed and very helpless look. We watched uneasily as Alex heaved Sean out of his wheelchair and placed him on his lap. He rocked back and forth lightly, all the while murmuring soft, soothing words into Sean’s ear.

  It took Sean a long time to calm down. Alex asked me to hand him a paper towel and used it to clean up Sean’s face. My gut knotted in sympathy when Sean’s face emerged from his hiding place against Alex’s chest. It was blotchy and his eyes were red-rimmed and swollen. Suddenly, he simply looked like a lost and hurt little boy. There was no place for any kind of disgust in my heart, only guilt and shame.

  Reluctantly, I offered, “I’m sorry if we upset your brother. I didn’t think he’d understand what we’re talking about.”

  Alex’s eyes literally blazed, but I was too distracted by Parker’s elbow in my ribs to comment on that. After I had gasped for breath, I snarled, “What?”

  “Are you trying to win first place in a who’s-the-best-jerk competition?”

  “Maybe he’s less a jerk rather than a pompous ass with no regards for the feelings of other people. Or maybe he has no tact at all,” Alex chimed in. He voiced his opinion in such an icy tone that shivers ran down my spine.

  “What did I say now?”

  Alex snorted in disbelief while he picked up the fork and started feeding Sean on his lap. The boy opened his mouth willingly and this time Alex didn’t help him close his mouth while he chewed. It was a revolting sight and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t keep my face impassive.

  Alex’s face hardened. “You assumed Sean couldn’t understand what you said. Let me enlighten you to the fact that not everyone who’s disabled is stupid. Sean’s intellect is absolutely normal for his age. He has cerebral palsy. I won’t bother you with the details since you wouldn’t understand them anyway. He can’t speak, yes, but he does understand everything you say. You better watch your mouth.”

  I bristled. He had just called me arrogant, prejudiced, and on top of it, he had more or less told me to shut up. I clenched my fists tightly before I gritted out, “Please excuse my nonexistent knowledge about… that disability of your brother’s. You still don’t get to tell me how to speak. Now, is it possible for you to answer our questions or will you or your brother flip out again?”

  “We didn’t—”

  “Geez, Woods, did you leave your common sense at home this morning? Or did the sex you two have last night short-circuit something important in your brain?”

  I gawked at Parker, whereas Alex quickly put his hands over Sean’s ears. A deep red color tinted Alex’s cheeks. It was obvious that Parker’s blunt remarks had left him incredibly flustered, and I couldn’t help but smile. It was a funny sight with Sean trying to free his ears and Alex looking as if he wanted to hide in a hole.

  “What’s so funny?” he hissed. “I don’t want you talking like that in my home. Sean is just a kid! He doesn’t need to know about… about what we did last night.” He averted his eyes in a gesture resembling defeat. Softly, he added, “Please?”

  “You don’t think he’ll resent you because you had sex with a man, do you?” I couldn’t help asking.

  “Woods!”

  Alex laughed, though it sounded suspiciously like a choked sob. “He’s six years old! He doesn’t need to hear the word sex at this age. He’s also not different from any other child. He wants parents. If he thinks there is or was something going on between us, he’ll want you to stay here and become part of the family.”

  I froze. My gaze darted from Alex’s face to Sean, still struggling to shake off the hands covering his ears. Part of the family? No way.

  Having a family had never been on my personal wish list. Even the thought of spending my life with a lover was fairly new. When I could move again, I hastily got up from the chair. “Forget that I asked. How long will it take you to feed him? We only have a few questions, but we can come back another time when it’s more convenient for you. Maybe at a time when your brother isn’t at home.”

  “It’ll take me about ten minutes. I’ll convince him to watch a DVD, and then you can ask your questions. I’d rather get it over with and get you out of my home as soon as possible.”

  Ouch. I probably deserved that. Scratch the probably; I did deserve that comment. Though why did it feel as if he had punched me in the gut? More to the point, why did I want to make it up to him,
show him I wasn’t such an ass?

  Parker glanced at his watch. “That’s okay. Do you want us to wait somewhere else? So you can feed Sean in peace?”

  “Why don’t you say straight away that you’d rather be in another room instead of watching Sean eat? Oh, whatever. Go to the living room.” Alex was still covering Sean’s ears, which was most likely the best for all of us.

  Parker started, “I didn’t mean—”

  “I don’t care what either of you meant. Get out of the kitchen so I can feed my brother.”

  Parker and I fled from the kitchen. Once in the living room, we looked around. It was a small room with only a few items of furniture: a beige-colored sofa with washable covers, a small wooden coffee table, a bookcase that took up most of the place on the left side, and a television set placed opposite the sofa. A huge part of the living room was filled with plastic boxes in various colors, all containing toys. Astonished, I discovered even a package of crayons and paper in one of the boxes.

  I started when Alex informed me acidly, “Sean can draw if I guide his hand. Just in case you’re wondering.”

  I nodded. Parker and I watched Alex and Sean walk over to the TV. Sean decided on a DVD and Alex retrieved a big cushion, which he propped up in front of the sofa. Wide-eyed, I watched Sean jump, frog-like, toward the sofa.

  “He’s not completely dependent on me or anyone else to get around. It’s simply not the conventional method,” Alex commented.

  “Isn’t this risky? What if he loses his balance?” Parker asked.

  “He hits his head.”

  Parker looked at me from across the room, seemingly at a loss for words. I didn’t fare any better. Alex sighed and Sean said something to his brother before he laughed. Alex grinned. “Yeah, they don’t know shit. You’re so right, baby.”

  My jaw fell, well, not to the floor, but it fell nonetheless. Were those two mocking Parker and me? Annoyed, I said, “You’re not worried about him hitting his head? Why is that less of a concern than biting on plastic cutlery? If you don’t mind enlightening two stupid detectives, that is.”