“Don’t be nervous.” She tilted her head, closed her eyes, and pecked my lips. “This is the fun part. C’mon,” she said, pulling me by the hand across the lobby.
The hotshots stared, some with curiosity, others with envy. Stavros watched us, not an ounce of surprise on his face. The attention made me stand up taller. I needed those guys to know this date was a final decision, not an open invitation, because the reality was that some guys saw a woman’s interest in someone else as a reason to be interested. A desirable woman was somehow open season. Or maybe they’d backed off because of Zeke. Either way, I didn’t want more of them sniffing around Darby because they’d seen she was open to dating.
The sliding doors opened, blowing hot wind in our faces. Darby didn’t seem to mind, but I was already sweating by the time we reached my truck. I opened the door for her and held her hand while she climbed into the passenger seat.
“What?” she said, looking up at me.
“You just look damn good sitting there,” I said. “That seat’s been waiting for you.”
She laughed, sitting back and relaxing. She was beautiful before, but something about seeing her so happy took my breath away.
I sat next to her and reached over the center console to slide my fingers between hers. It took me longer to detail my Land Cruiser than it did to shower and get dressed, but I wanted to make sure the things I could control were perfect. The truck smelled like cleaner and new car scent, and I suddenly wondered if the chemicals would be bad for her or make her sick.
“You okay?” I asked, pulling out of the parking lot.
“Yeah, why?”
“I just realized I detailed the truck today and it smells like—”
“Chemicals and new car smell?”
“Yeah,” I said, unhappy. So much for perfection.
“I like it.”
“You do? What about the baby?”
“Oh. I didn’t think about that.” She smiled at me. “Thank you, but I’m sure it’s fine.”
I cracked my window, just in case, and she squeezed my hand.
We parked in front of Laundry, a place Harbinger said his wife liked. The orange brick was covered by an old Laundromat mural, lending to the name. Inside were low-hanging lights and industrial modern pipes and metal hinges on gray wood. I wasn’t a fan of what Hailey called rich-people food, but Darby was grinning from ear to ear.
We approached a silver-haired man standing in front of a computer, and he immediately greeted us. “Good evening, sir. Do you have a reservation?”
“We do. It’s under Trex.”
“Trex. Yes. We spoke earlier. Right this way.”
He led us to a corner table next to the window, and I was proud to beat him to Darby’s chair, pulling it out for her. She sat, looking almost giddy, and I took the seat next to her instead of across. The host pulled my place setting over without hesitation, and Darby began looking over the menu.
All but one table and one stool at the bar were full. I hoped it was because the food was good. There weren’t exactly guidelines for taking a pregnant woman on a date, but I was sure food was at the top of the list of things to get right.
“The napkins are just like my granny’s,” Darby said. “Thick and white with red stripes on each end. You’re taking me down memory lane and don’t even know it.”
She couldn’t have paid me a bigger compliment. “I like the braid,” I said.
She touched it. “It was fast. My hair is not behaving lately. The book says it’s the hormones.”
“You’re beautiful.”
She smiled at the menu. “Thank you.” She said the words mindlessly, and I had to remind myself that the phrase didn’t hold water for her like it did other women. She knew she was beautiful. “I’d like to hear about your granny sometime. And the rest of your childhood.”
Her eyes brightened. “My granny? She was the best. She made these cinnamon rolls…oh my gosh. They melted in your mouth. Covered with icing. She never skimped on the icing. Have you been here before?”
“No.”
“Look at this food. It’s super weird.”
The waiter approached, pouring water into our glasses with a metal pitcher. “Good evening. My name is Shawn, I’ll be your server tonight. Have you dined with us before?”
Darby and I held each other’s gaze while I waited for her reaction. I wasn’t sure if that was going to ruin our night or not. A laugh tumbled from her throat, and she covered her mouth. I chuckled, too, and looked up at Shawn. “No, we haven’t.”
“Our dishes are shareable. Choose three or five. I suggest five for a full meal, but everyone is different. Do you know what you’d like to drink?”
“I’m fine with ice water,” Darby said.
“Me, too,” I said.
“Very well, I’ll give you a few minutes. If you have any questions, let me know.” Shawn left us as alone as we could be in a room full of people.
“This is a good test. We’ll either have to agree on everything or compromise.”
“Easy,” I said.
She smirked and then returned her attention to the menu. “What do you think about the beef carpaccio?”
“Let’s do it.”
“The pow pow shrimp?”
“I’m in.”
“The chicharrones and bean dip?”
“Hit me with it.”
“The goose?”
“All day.”
“Pork cheeks?”
“Pork cheeks?” I said, taking a second look at the menu. It didn’t look too bad, but Darby was enjoying my hesitance so much, I went with it. “As in the cheeks of a pig?”
She giggled. “It’s cooked! I’m sure it’s better than the round!”
“What the hell is the round?”
“The rump of a cow,” she said, still giggling. I made a face, and she burst out laughing. “You don’t know about ham, do you?”
“Aw, shit. Is that pig butt? Because I eat one every Thanksgiving.”
She held her stomach, leaning over as her body shook with laughter.
Shawn returned, and Darby ordered, looking like a pro as she pointed out each dish.
“All my favorites,” Shawn said. “Well done. You’re sure I can’t get you a nice white wine?”
“I’m…” Darby touched her stomach.
“Oh.” His eyes lit up with realization. “Congrats to you both,” he said, nodding once before leaving again.
“Sorry,” Darby said, her cheeks red. “That’s probably weird.”
“Not at all.”
She hesitated to say her next words. “I’m…not looking for a father for my baby, so you know. I don’t need saving. I made a choice to do this on my own, and I’m still comfortable with that choice.”
“I know. This situation isn’t typical, but that doesn’t change how I feel about you. Your independence is one of the reasons I’m attracted to you, and the last thing I want is to think I could take that away from you. You don’t need to be saved, anyway, you’re having a baby. There are a lot worse things in the world.”
She nodded. “Exactly.”
I could tell she was trying to decide if she could believe me or not, if I was just telling her what she wanted to hear, and then I watched her make the choice. She grinned and leaned toward me. “This is really nice. Thank you.”
I looked at my watch. “The movie is in ninety minutes. Do you want romantic comedy or action?”
“Action.”
“Okay, then we’re watching War Gods.”
“Oh, I saw the trailer on the TV in the lobby. It looks really good!”
“Gotta love summer movies.”
“I saw on the news they’re not allowing fireworks this year.” She sighed. “Bummer. But I guess it’s good for you guys.”
“Yeah,” I said. It wasn’t a lie. Saunders had said more than once to start watching for kids coming closer to the Complex to set off fireworks. “Maybe I could take you up north? Steamboat Springs has a huge f
ireworks display. Or we could go even further to Deadwood, South Dakota. Or Mount Rushmore if you’re feeling particularly patriotic.”
“I have to work,” she said, her voice thick with regret.
I shrugged. “Maybe next year.” She held my gaze. “I wish I could read your mind sometimes. So much going on behind those eyes of yours.”
“Just that you said next year. I wondered if you meant it.”
“Yes,” I said without hesitation.
“I’ll have a baby this time next year. Travel would be complicated.”
She was right, I hadn’t thought about it. “True. What are we talking? A car seat? Baby bag? Diapers? Wipes? Mobile crib? We got this. My truck is a crew cab, Darby. We could make it work.”
“That’s a long time from now. A lot could happen between now and then.”
“I hope so,” I said.
The touched look on her face was the last thread to break before I fell. It was so easy to make her night, her day, her week…Whether she wanted me to be her knight in shining armor or not, she sure made me feel like it.
“You’re making it very difficult to stay guarded,” she said.
“Good. I thought we weren’t doing that, anyway. I thought we were laying it all out on the table. Terrifyingly honest and real.”
“Easier said than done.”
“But I’m doing it.”
“Okay.” She blew out a single laugh to cover her fear.
Shawn brought over a round plate covered in thin slices of meat with large, broken pieces of cracker-like bread. He pointed out the cheese, caper relish, and lava salt.
“Thank you,” Darby said, nearly salivating over the plate.
“Go for it,” I said, gesturing to her silverware.
She used her fork to scrape a piece of meat off the plate, and she placed it on the bread. She took a bite and hummed. “Oh my stars, that’s good.”
“Yeah?” I said, scraping off a piece of my own. I’d gotten a bigger slice than I’d meant to, but that didn’t stop me from heaping it on top of the bread and shoving it all in my mouth. Darby was right. It was amazing. “Holy shit.”
Darby nodded, giggled, and forked another piece. We plowed through the beef, the pow pow shrimp Shawn brought to the table on a wood plank, then the bean dip, the goose, and finally the pork cheeks. They came with steamed buns, some sort of orangish sauce, sliced red peppers, ginger…like a make-your-own tiny sandwich. Just touching the buns was so fun it made eating pork cheeks worth it.
At the end, I wasn’t full, but satisfied, and Darby looked so happy it was hard not to reach over every few seconds to touch her.
We talked until it was time to pay the bill and leave for the movie, where we cuddled in the scratchy theater chairs until the credits rolled. I thought about shooting for something else cheesy, like parking on a dirt road and lying in the back of my truck to look at the stars, but the smoke from the fire blanketed the sky.
I decided it was best to get her home to let her rest. The circles under her eyes were getting darker as the night wore on.
In front of her door, I kissed her cheek, forcing myself to pull away to tell her good night.
“Good night,” she said.
“What are you doing tomorrow? When do you go back to work?”
“I work Sunday through Thursday.”
“So, you’re free?”
She nodded.
“Wanna do this all over again?” I asked.
Even tired, she couldn’t stop the grin from stretching across her face. “I do, but I just got this dress today. I don’t really have anything else.”
“Wear your wedding dress,” I teased.
“I pawned it for work clothes, shoes, a backpack, and cash.”
I shrugged. “It’s gorgeous on you. Wear it again. Or wear your work clothes. Or your pajamas. I’ll take what I can get, as long as I’m with you.”
“What if we order in?” she asked.
“Perfect. I’ll have pizza and myself here at seven.”
She leaned up on the balls of her feet for a second. “Yep. Sounds perfect.” She bit her lip, and that was it for me. I had to kiss her.
She willingly leaned into my arms when I wrapped them around her, and giggled against my lips when I leaned her back. Upright again, I kissed her slower, pulling her closer. She might have let me keep her there all night, but I knew she was tired.
“Tomorrow,” I said. “And maybe Sunday afternoon?”
“Maybe,” she said, opening her door.
She gazed at me until the door was closed, and I folded my hands on top of my head, blowing out a breath. I smiled and then jogged up the stairs to my room two at a time, wondering how in the hell I would be able to sleep and keep my ass upstairs knowing she was so close.
But I would. We had time. Darby didn’t protest when I mentioned plans for next year. I fell onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling, thinking about a road trip with a baby. I was excited instead of scared. Curiosity filled my thoughts instead of dread. For a guy who’d never wanted kids before, I couldn’t figure out my lack of hesitation. I guess Dad was right about one thing: When you know, you know, and I knew the second I saw Darby Cooke. It was that first-sight nonsense that until that moment I would’ve said was bullshit. Since that moment, she’d been the center of my universe, and there was so much more to get to know. It was amazing, and terrifying, and so simple yet complicated. However it ended up, I made the choice right then, staring at my ceiling in room 201 of the Colorado Springs Hotel, to hang on until then.
* * *
The noodles swirled around my fork like a boa constrictor, squeezing the metal as I twisted it in my hand. The inevitable thoughts of twisting a knife into the soft flesh of the abdomen of an old enemy flashed in my mind. I closed my eyes tight, replacing the thought with the feel of Darby’s long, soft hair in my fingers, gently holding it back while she heaved the contents of her stomach in the toilet for the third time that week.
Darby’s nausea was lessening, but sometimes a smell would hit her wrong, and no matter how often she ate, the nausea would hit so hard she had no choice but to find the closest trash can or toilet. That particular morning, just after she got off work, a group of hotshots came in, and the stench on their clothes was different this time. The fire had reached a herd of cattle, and the burnt flesh was too much for Darby’s sensitive nose.
“Where are you?” Naomi asked. We asked each other that question often, when we saw one of our team was lost in a thought or memory. Most of the time we were trapped in a nightmare, frozen in a moment of time we wanted anything but to remember. I was slowly beginning to replace my dark memories with thoughts of Darby.
“I was in Sudan. Right now, I’m in the hotel. Darby’s bathroom.”
My team traded glances. Sloan and Martinez chuckled like boys.
I frowned. “I was holding her hair. She was sick.”
“Virus?” Harbinger said. “My kids had that a couple of weeks ago. It’s going around.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. Naomi looked at me from under her brows, silently asking me if I wanted to open that can, and I instantly regretted answering so quick.
“Food poisoning?” Martinez asked.
I narrowed my eyes at him, and he held up his hands. “I wasn’t being a smartass!” he said. “I’m serious! I am a fucking medic, you know.”
“I know,” I said, focusing on my food again. I’d never lied to my team, and I didn’t want to start. They would find out eventually about Darby’s pregnancy; no point in making up a story.
“So she was puking and it’s not food poisoning or a virus,” Martinez said. “Is she pregnant or something?” He chuckled.
When I didn’t answer, Sloan’s eyes grew bigger. “T-Rex! You wasted zero time!”
“Mind your business, Sloan,” Kitsch warned.
Harbinger cleared his throat, scratched his nose, and looked down. “You know him better than that, Sloan. C’mon.”
Slo
an’s eyebrows shot up. “Dude, is she trying to trap you? You got a level-twelve clinger on your hands?”
I frowned. “No. She didn’t say it’s mine. She’s not like that.”
“So, she is pregnant?” Martinez asked.
I looked at Naomi, who already had an I told you so look on her face. I chunked my fork at my bowl. “Goddamn it, guys. It’s none of your business.”
“Oh, shit,” Sloan said. The table grew silent.
“You sure about this?” Harbinger said. “A single mom isn’t something you consider halfheartedly, Trex.”
“She’s a mom. She’s not single,” I said.
Naomi raised an eyebrow. “That’s why you’ve been so ambitious looking for a place all of a sudden. It’s getting serious, I guess?”
I met everyone’s gaze and then blew out a laugh. “I really like her. She’s amazing.”
“You’re sure it’s not because she needs saving?” Naomi asked.
I frowned. “I’m sure.”
“What’s so amazing about her?” Sloan asked.
“She’s fucking brave for one thing. She was minutes away from marrying that dick ex of hers. She fucking walked, all alone, with no one’s help. You know she showed up in the Springs in her wedding dress? Barely any money, no clothes, no nothing. That takes balls, man. She’s funny, sweet, gorgeous…we’re attracted to each other. Does she need a master’s degree? Hours logged in the Peace Corps? What constitutes amazing these days?”
Naomi shrugged. “I’m just glad to hear you say it. And I’m happy for you. I just…Are you going to be someone’s dad? Is that where this is headed? And don’t say I don’t know. This is definitely something you should know.”
“I know!” I barked. I sighed. “I know.”
“Should we get cigars?” Sloan asked, looking around. “I’m thinking we should take T-Rex out and celebrate.”
“I can’t tonight. I have plans,” Naomi said quickly.
“With who?” Martinez asked.
“Attention!” Saunders called. We stood as General Tallis walked in, followed closely by Bianca. He looked over the food, and then at us, before approaching the table.
“It’s pasta day, sir,” Bianca said.
He nodded. “Enjoying the pasta?”
From Here to You Page 15