“Okay,” she said, turning more toward me.
I couldn’t help but smile. Her enthusiasm was endearing. “I’ll just get the scary shit out of the way first. It’s four thousand square feet, five bedrooms, good-sized backyard in a cul-de-sac. Three-car garage.”
She nearly spit her cocoa back into the mug. “Five bedrooms?”
“I know, it’s bigger than we need, but it’s a great neighborhood. It’s not far from I-25, so we’d have quick access to Denver, and it has a gourmet kitchen. The house is brand new. The contractor finished it a couple of months ago.”
She wasn’t going to let the kitchen distract her from what I’d said. “We…”
“Okay.” I held up my free hand. “I know it probably feels like pressure, but it’s not. I’m just a planner.”
“A planner,” she repeated. Emotion was absent from her words, so my heart began to thud like an antiaircraft gun hammering away at my rib cage.
Fuck it. “What if…I mean, I’m taking off anyway. Hailey’s been asking me to come home. What do you think about, after your appointment, we could head over to Kansas and spend a couple of nights?”
She picked at the handle of her mug. “Um…I think that would be nice, but I can’t take off. There’s no one to cover my shift.”
“Okay, so what about next weekend?”
I could tell by the look on her face she was thinking hard to find an excuse not to. “I think Stavros is going to need me to—”
“Just say it, Darby. Let’s talk about whatever you’re worried about.”
She looked down. “You’re really going to make me meet your parents like this? I hesitate to explain this to my doctor, and you want to sit down to dinner with your parents and have this conversation?”
“I think it’s a good story.”
She narrowed her eyes. “You just want to piss off your dad.”
“No,” I said, firm. “That’s not it. Hailey wants to see me. She asks about you every day. And what does it matter if they find out now or later?”
“It’s just…” She shrugged and closed her eyes. “It’s embarrassing somehow. I can’t imagine your preacher father is going to be happy that your girlfriend is pregnant, and then when we tell him it’s another man’s baby? You’re just asking for an ugly family fight.”
“There are worse things than a baby. Like the fact that their son is an atheist, for instance. When they find out you’re a god-fearing Christian woman, they won’t care if you have six kids. You’ll be in like Flynn.”
“I don’t know,” she said, standing. She put her mug on the nightstand. Her baby bump was becoming obvious. “Maybe after the baby comes. Maybe it’s not the right time. I don’t want to upset anyone. I don’t want to get in the way of you having a good visit with Hailey.”
She doesn’t want to tell me no. “Darby, it’s okay. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to. If you don’t want to go, we won’t go.”
“You should go see your sister,” she said. I could see the guilt in her eyes. I wanted to say I wouldn’t go without her, but I refused to manipulate her that way, even if it was the way I felt.
“Okay. One thing at a time. I’m just happy about the doctor’s appointment.”
She looked down and ran her hand over the small bowl shape under her shirt. “Lane said I’m going to get fat.”
I smiled and walked over to her, wrapping my arms around her. “I hope so. I hope you look like you have triplets in there somewhere.”
She giggled, and her head fell back. “No!”
“Yes!” I said, getting on my knees. “I want Bean to have plenty of room to grow. I hope you’re big as a house!”
Her stomach bobbed as she laughed, and I kissed it once, then stood.
“You talk about forever like…it just is,” she said.
“It is just is. I finally found you. I’m not letting you go. Pregnant, fat, skinny, stubborn, separate residences. Even if it takes you five years to get up the nerve to meet my parents. I’m yours.”
She cringed. “What are you going to do with all of those rooms?”
I shrugged. “Office. Storage. Guest rooms. Bedrooms. Whatever life throws at us, I guess.”
“Us,” she repeated, shaking her head and cupping my face. “I’ve never met anyone like you, Trex.”
“And you won’t, because no one can love you like I do. I’ll make sure it’s impossible.”
Someone knocked on the door, and I stood up to answer. Ander was standing in the hall, holding a stack of mail.
“Is this both of ours?”
“Yep.”
“Thanks,” I said.
“Sure,” he said, turning.
I picked out mine and handed Darby hers, noticing we had the same unmarked envelope. Darby hardly got any mail, so it was hard to ignore.
“Oh,” she said, looking down at the rectangle in her hands.
“I think it’s the results.”
Darby tore into hers, reading it over and then looking up at me as I did the same. “All clear?” she asked.
I sat down next to her. “All clear.”
She set down her mug a few feet away and crawled back, standing on her knees, grinning with a new sparkle in her eye.
“Hi,” she said with a smirk.
“Hi.”
She reached under the hem of her T-shirt, and with a small tug, her panties were pooled around her knees on the carpet.
I looked down, my dick instantly hard. “Black lace.”
“I went for a walk yesterday.”
I frowned. “You know I can take you. Or I can catch a ride with Naomi to work and you can have my truck.”
She shook her head slowly, moving toward me. “Then it wouldn’t be a surprise.”
“You’ve been thinking about this?” I asked, surprised. I’d been trying not to. Limited intimacy with a girl I was madly in love with had been torture—and I knew a thing or two about actual torture.
Darby nodded, planting one knee on the outside of one of my thighs, the other on the other side. Knowing she had no panties on under that T-shirt, hovering above me, drove me crazy, but I was determined to keep my expression smooth.
“No?” she asked.
I laughed once. “It’s never, ever no.”
She reached down, pulling my belt open, tugging on the button of my jeans until it popped free. She slowly peeled down my zipper and then sat up on her knees just enough to reach inside my boxer briefs. I sat back, unable to move. No one had touched me in a long time, and Darby’s hand felt like silk around my cock. I couldn’t remember anything feeling better. Her hand moved down my shaft slowly, and I moaned. She leaned down, touching her tongue to the tip of my dick, and I couldn’t help but reach for her hair. “Fuuuuck,” I said as she fit her wet, warm mouth perfectly around me. “I am so glad I’ve already told you I love you, because I want to say it right now, and I’m thinking you wouldn’t take me seriously.”
Darby laughed, the vibration sending chills through my body. Her hand slid up my thigh, slipping under my shirt and reaching up my chest.
“Baby?” I began.
Darby pulled back, creating the tiniest sensation of suction, and I nearly lost it. Right now was not the time to tell her. “I love you. I love you. And your mouth is amazing, but you have no panties on, and all I can think about is…” I lifted her in my arms, carrying her to the mattress, slowly lowering her to her back. I kicked off my shoes and pushed my jeans to the floor, watching her take in the sight of me.
“Come here,” she said, leaning back on her elbows.
I crawled over to her, hovering just a few inches above, nestling my hips between her thighs. I kissed her once and met her gaze as I touched the tip of my dick to her warm, soft skin. I held my breath for a few seconds as I slowly rocked into her, tensing as I felt her skin envelope and tighten around me. As soon as the bottom of my shaft was touching her, I paused, touching my cheek to hers.
“You okay?” she whisper
ed.
“I don’t…want to hurt you.”
“You won’t,” she said, kissing my neck.
She hooked her knees at my hips, and then her ankles were locked at the small of my back. I fought against an orgasm with every stroke, touching my forehead to hers. She grabbed at me, desperate for me to be closer, to sink myself deeper inside of her. Her expressions were far more intense than they were when my fingers had been between her thighs, making it nearly impossible not to come.
Her body was the beach and mine the ocean. Darby would pull me in, then push me away, over and over until I was overcome, every thought, every sensation, every muscle in my body commanded by her, reacting in ways I couldn’t control.
As I tensed, climaxing inside of her, I knew I’d found my salvation, and I was her slave.
* * *
“You okay?” I asked, touching Darby’s bobbing knee.
“Yep.”
“You don’t have to do this, you know.”
The nurse walked out with a tablet in her hand. “Darby Cooke.”
“Darby Trexler,” I whispered as we stood. I’d decided after Maddox told me Darby’s real last name weeks before that it didn’t matter. It was going to change, anyway.
Darby playfully nudged me with her elbow, and I chuckled, taking her hand in mine. I’d been thinking about the appointment since she’d told me I was invited, wondering if I’d be nervous or scared shitless. To my surprise, it felt natural. More than anything, I was both glad that this could be a thing—me coming with her—and a little bittersweet because I’d missed the previous appointments. For all intents and purposes, I was in love with them both, and that baby was mine. It was hard not to be frustrated that Darby wasn’t one hundred percent on board with that notion.
The nurse’s eyes lit with curiosity when she realized I was with her patient.
“Hi there,” she said, watching us pass by. “Room two.”
Darby led me by the hand to the second exam room and I immediately recognized the ultrasound machine. I didn’t know how excited I was until that second. I’d seen the fuzzy black-and-white photos of Bean framed in Darby’s hotel room, but this was different. I was a part of this moment. I’d get to see Bean in real time.
“I’m Shannon,” the nurse said, shaking my hand.
“Trex,” I said.
“Is this…?” Shannon began, looking to Darby.
“No,” she said.
I sat, trying not to let her answer hurt my feelings. It was technically true, but not for me.
“Trex is my boyfriend.”
“Oh,” Shannon said with a surprised smile. “Well, nice to meet you, Trex.”
“The questions I asked you before, do those answers still apply?” Shannon asked. Vague question. Must have something to do with me.
“Yes,” Darby said with a nod.
“Great. Any concerns?”
Darby shook her head. She was still nervous, and Shannon could see it as plainly as I could.
“I can step out a minute,” I offered, beginning to stand.
“No!” Darby said, reaching for me and grabbing my arm.
“Okay, honey,” I said, returning to my seat. “Calm down a little bit or the blood pressure cuff is going to fly off your arm.”
Darby laughed, helping her to relax.
“How long have you two been dating?” Shannon asked, placing the cuff on Darby’s arm.
“We met before my first appointment,” Darby said, smiling at me. “I know that’s kind of weird, so I’ve made him wait to come.”
“Made him wait?” Shannon asked.
“He’s pretty convinced this baby is his,” Darby said.
“It’s not?” I teased.
Shannon’s chuckle fell away as she quieted to listen to Darby’s heart. Seconds later, the cuff came off and the stethoscope was again resting over her neck. “Blood pressure and heart rate are elevated. Can’t imagine why,” she said with a wink. “I’m going to check it again before you leave.”
Darby nodded, letting her feet swing from the table.
Shannon stood in the doorway, holding the handle in one hand, the tablet in the other. “Dr. Park should be right in.”
The door closed, and I scooted forward in my chair, holding Darby’s hand. “Thank you.”
She smiled. “For what?”
“I know this isn’t easy for you, that starting a relationship this way is a little unorthodox. I know you inviting me here is a gesture of trust. I won’t let you down, I promise. I’m in this. I’m in love with you, and whoever else comes along.”
She squeezed my hand. “I know.” I lifted her hand and kissed her fingers. Two weeks before, she’d told me she loved me. I’d said it at least once a day since, and she’d yet to say it back. I’d learned that Darby, for the most part, was more comfortable showing her feelings than saying them. “That’s all that matters to me,” I said.
“Trex,” she began. “I should tell you…”
The door opened, and a woman in slacks, a maroon blouse, and a white lab coat walked in. “Why hello hello,” she said, going straight to the sink. She washed her hands and turned to me, holding out her hand. “I’m Dr. Park.”
“Trex,” I said, taking it. She had a good grip for a woman. Not like Naomi’s, but still impressive.
She turned to slide blue gloves over her hands, and then sat on a rolling stool. “So,” she said, using her feet to scoot her and the stool to the chair Darby sat on. The doctor was half smiling, half sighing, and staring directly at Darby.
“We met right after I moved here. He’s been driving me to appointments.”
Dr. Park pointed at me. “But just to be clear…not the father.”
“Not technically,” I said. “I’m hoping she’ll give me the job, though.”
Dr. Park looked at me over the thin, rectangular glasses that sat halfway down the bridge of her nose, then at Darby. “He’s a charmer, huh?”
Darby nodded. “He’s the kindest man I know.”
Dr. Park noted that we were holding hands, and she seemed to be okay to continue the appointment. “Good. Very sweet. Okay, let’s get you relaxed,” she said, pressing a button making Darby’s chair turn into a table.
Darby lifted her shirt and pushed down her pants an inch. The top button of her jeans was undone, and I decided in the moment I’d take her to get some more comfortable maternity clothes. The doctor tucked a blue napkin-looking thing into Darby’s pants and let it fall over her lap. The gel the doctor squeezed out of a white bottle had just begun to settle when she dabbed the transducer into the gel and began pushing it gently around Darby’s baby bump.
Darby looked at the screen, and so did I, waiting.
Dr. Park typed on the ultrasound machine’s keyboard, measured a few things, and then paused. “You’re sure you want to know the sex?”
“Yes, please,” Darby said, nodding.
Dr. Park pointed at the screen. “Can you tell? That would be a hamburger sign. Hamburgers equal girls. You’ve got a perfectly sized, healthy-hearted girl growing in there. Congratulations.”
“A girl?” Darby said, turning to me. The bright grin on her face faded.
“Are you okay?” she asked me.
Dr. Park turned to me, and it was then I noticed the wetness on my eyes. I wiped it away quickly.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.” I chuckled. I hadn’t cried in so long, it surprised me as much as it did Darby. I watched in awe, Darby’s baby girl wiggling, reaching up to touch her face, sucking her thumb, and stretching. Next to Darby, it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
“Wow,” Darby said, reaching to touch the screen. “That’s my daughter.”
“That’s her. Now you just need a name,” Dr. Park said. She pulled away the transducer, and the screen was black. A strange sense of loss came over me, and I had to remind myself that the baby wasn’t in the monitor but that Darby was carrying her with us everywhere we went.
Darby and Dr. Park we
nt through a short Q&A, Shannon came in for one last check of Darby’s blood pressure, and Dr. Park gave her a long printout of pictures before saying good-bye. Shannon left Darby with paperwork, and Darby sat up, wiping the remaining gel off her skin. She was bent over, her hair obscuring my view of her face as she wiped slowly. She sniffed once, and then again, so I bent down.
“You okay?” I asked, combing back her hair.
She looked at me and then down at the photos, her eyes red and wet. “I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve any of it.”
“Well, that’s a load of horseshit,” I said, frowning.
“I didn’t want this.” She touched her stomach. “I accepted it, but I didn’t want her, and she deserves to be wanted.”
“You don’t want her now?” I asked, feeling bile rise in my throat.
“I do,” she whimpered.
“Babe,” I said, standing and hugging her to my side, “I had no intention of having children, either. It’s totally normal for you to feel the way you felt. Unless it’s planned, most people feel that way.”
She shook her head and sniffed again. I crossed the room to pull a few tissues from a box, handing them to her.
I helped her to her feet, and we walked out hand in hand, but she didn’t seem to feel better, even when we were in the truck. Tears were still intermittently falling down her cheeks. I didn’t know what to say or do to make it better, so I just held her hand.
“Is this what you were getting ready to tell me before the doc walked in?” I asked. “Are you thinking about adoption? Or…were you…?”
She stared at the wadded tissue in her hand. “I would have given all of this up if I could have gone back and done things different. If I could unmeet Shawn, be someone different, and start over. This isn’t easy for me to say to you, but you deserve the truth.”
My entire body was tense as I braced for whatever she was about to say.
“Not to say you’re not amazing. You are. Who else would fall for a woman who’s pregnant with someone else’s baby and stick around? But this isn’t what I dreamed about when I was a girl. To be scared every day of how I’m going to take care of us…and I know you want to. I know that, but you have to understand that you’re not the first person to come along and make me believe your promises are true.”
From Here to You Page 24