Chef Showdown_A Romance

by MJ Post

  “Is everyone okay?” Kacie called to her.

  “Sure, everyone’s okay,” said Eunice. She continued in broken Korean, “Mom is still crying that you lost your virginity. She wants Dad to come up here and save you or something. Did you really lose your virginity?”

  “Yeah,” Kacie said, continuing the weak Korean. “I fucked like ten guys the first day I got here.”

  Eunice gave her a wan smile. “Sounds like more fun than I’m having.”

  “Anything about the restaurant?”

  “I didn’t hear anything.”

  “Call Jinwoo and ask him…”

  Ozzy was leaning over, at a respectful distance but clearly insistent on their attention. “We have to go back up,” he said. He smiled at Eunice. “Nice to see you again.”

  Eunice said in Korean, “So I hear you fucked my sister.”

  Ozzy, not understanding, nodded.

  Eunice: “You want to fuck me too? I’m bored.”

  Kacie said, also in Korean, “Shut up, Eunice. Jesus Christ.”

  “I had to get up so early to deal with your shit. I have class in two hours.”

  Ozzy interposed himself between the sisters. Kacie stepped clear, and he gently shut the car door.

  The driver, about to enter the vehicle himself, asked Kacie, “Are you from the same chef show as that guy Toby from Mississippi?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Where you from, from China or something?”

  “I’m from Jackson Heights.” What an idiot; he’d just been at her house. “How do you know Toby?”

  “I drove him over when he first got to the city. He came in this really cool food truck with shrimps painted on it. Listen, tell him Salvatore said hello.”

  “I’ll tell him.”

  “Hey, you want to see a picture of the truck? I took a picture of it.”

  “Yeah, show me.”

  “Time to go,” said Ozzy.

  Salvatore messed with his phone until he finally brought up a fuzzy picture of an attractively painted step van that, as promised, featured fire-engine-red crawfish and bore the legend “Crawdad King of Mississippi.” It was a sexy vehicle.

  Eunice shouted at him from the backseat to get going.

  “Sure thing,” said Salvatore. To Kacie: “Nice to meet you, miss.”

  Ozzy escorted Kacie back upstairs. “I bet you miss that dog,” he said. “Might be none of my business, but what were you and your sister saying?”

  “Stuff about our church.”

  Ozzy tapped the side of his nose. “Riiiight.”

  ∞∞∞

  After Maryann’s excellent dim sum breakfast of pork buns, rice dumplings, taro dumplings, and fried egg puffs, the cast and crew moved up to Kitchen One for a full hour of standing around while others were interviewed. Kacie got bored with all the “nice dog” compliments. There was no sign of Madame Queen until nearly 10 AM, when she breezed in talking loudly on the phone.

  “If you go around me, you’ll regret it,” she pronounced to the person on the other end. “You are well aware that I am no one to mess with. No, no I will not be reasonable, you ass. The Kitchen Network is my house now. Goodbye.” She fiercely tapped her smartphone screen to hang up, turned to the chefs. “You.” She gestured at Ricky. “Put the camera on me.” She tapped her foot for a few seconds. “Set up? Good. I have decided that the worst dish of today’s ingredient challenge will earn someone a strike right away. Then, whichever of you had the next two worst will be in the cook-off. Why have I decided this, you ask? Because I’m in a bad mood. And you had better not annoy me, Chef Brutus, because that was your mentor I was talking to just now. My fat beggar of an ex-husband thinks he can make himself a part of my professional life by appearing on this network as well. Well, I crushed him in divorce court, and I’ll crush him here, too. What do you say to that?”

  Toby worked his jaw slowly. “Well, I don’t want to get in the middle of that, Madame Queen,” he said. “I love both you guys.”

  “You had better love your queen the best.”

  Toby was in a tight situation with his mentor’s ex-wife staring him down. Kacie decided to bail him out. “We all love you the best, Madame,” she called.

  Shelley shouted, “Vince, camera on her. Ricky, stay with the reaction. Okay, again, Chef Lee.”

  Kacie repeated her line. She couldn’t help checking Toby’s expression right afterward: it was a damn sexy nod and thank-you grin.

  They stopped shooting and transitioned to sound-byte interviews in the lounge.

  During her interview, Shelley asked Kacie why she had spoken up. Kacie said, “I just wanted to get on to the cooking. I don’t know what they were arguing about.”

  “Do you think Madame Queen has a real prejudice against Chef Brutus?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t think she should blame him for whatever happened with Chef Winfrey. That wouldn’t be fair. But it’s none of my business. Madame Queen is so smart, who knows? This could be a strategy to help all of us excel.”

  As Kacie got up to leave, Shelley rubbed her shoulder. “Now you’re talking like a winner. I told you you’d shake off that confusion from the other day.”

  “Oh, I knew I would.”

  But already Kacie was considering how to turn the lifeline she had thrown Toby into evidence he had been moved to the friend zone.

  ∞∞∞

  The day’s dish challenge was kani miso, or “crab mustard,” a preparation of crab intestines in a soup of soy paste, cooked over a burner in the crab’s own shell. Kacie didn’t know that many Japanese recipes, other than teriyaki, tempura, and shabu shabu, but she knew how to make crab soup in Korean style, and there was enough overlap in flavor profile that she felt sure of being competitive in the challenge. She hadn’t made crab soup in a crab shell before but was confident of her flavors. She was worried for Toby at first, but then realized he was specialized in crab, and managed to stop looking over at him and trying to read his expression for signs of stress. That wasn’t working, anyway; when cooking, he never smiled, scarcely frowned, just looked intense.

  Finally, she left her station and crossed to his. “You okay, country boy?”

  “Sure,” he said. “You?”

  “Yeah, I got it.”

  His broth smelled delicious. She leaned in to take a deep whiff, then returned to her station. Louie, across from her, was sweating profusely.

  “You good?” she asked.

  He frowned at her. “My broth’s too thin. If I add more paste… Not sure. I was going to put in some orzo. We have time for a do-over?”

  ∞∞∞

  Kacie made Koryo Burgers Deluxe for lunch, joined by Toby and Louie, who did the garnish and the fries. It was the easiest and quickest option. She told Toby that Salvatore had asked after him.

  “Yeah, he’s cool,” Toby said. “How was it seeing your sister downstairs?”

  “It was pretty fucked-up. She’s jealous that I’m out doing something, and she’s stuck in school. And my mom apparently thinks I came here just to get laid. It would be funny, except it isn’t.”

  “At least she cares what you’re doing,” Toby said darkly. “That is something.”

  “He showed me a picture of your food truck.”

  “Hm. What did you think?”

  “I thought it was great.”

  “When this is over, I’ll take you to see it in person.”

  “Sure.”

  She hoped all this casual chit-chat while cooking together was signaling that they were in the friend zone, as per her new strategy to handle him, but had a sinking feeling that it meant they were getting to know each other.

  ∞∞∞

  The results at judging were, as promised, more brutal than usual.

  “Chef Camacho,” said Madame Queen to the camera. “Such a muddy and bland preparation of kani miso cannot be tolerated. Strike one. Chef Brutus, Chef Lee, Chef Wayne, middle of the road for all of you. Chef Chen, your kani miso was quite good, but y
ou are not the winner. I shall give the prize to… Pardon me.”

  She stepped off-camera to take a phone call, said hello angrily, and retreated from the studio.

  Shelley rolled her eyes.

  Soon the judge was back. “Our prize for today is dinner out with a friend of your choice. Our winner, with what is in fact the best kani miso I have eaten so far this year, is Chef Hamilton. Chef, a certain gentleman from your list will be arriving this evening to join you. He will pick you up in the common room at six PM, and the two of you have reservations at Eleven Madison.”

  A certain gentleman, Kacie thought as Eloise smiled for the camera and the still photographer. Did Eloise have a boyfriend she hadn’t mentioned? That would put a new wrinkle on the blond’s flirtation with Toby. Smacking him on the ass with a spoon for the camera would not sit well with this mysterious boyfriend. A billionaire financier, maybe?

  “We will take a break from filming at that time, so that you all may meet the gentleman.”

  “Who is it?” Buster asked. He had a slightly panicked expression in his blue eyes.

  “All of you should come meet him,” Eloise said. “It’s my dad, right, Madame?”

  “Chef J.C. Hamilton, founder of San Diego’s three-Michelin-Star restaurant, Electricity Garden,” she confirmed.

  Kacie had seen Electricity Garden reviewed in a culinary magazine, and seen a picture of an extremely tall, extremely Caucasian gray-haired restaurant magnate called Julius Caesar Hamilton. Trendy and overrated, she had thought. She hadn’t previously connected that vague memory with Eloise, but now it made sense.

  Eloise had Toby’s arm. “Come meet my dad later, okay?”

  Toby nodded to her. “Sure.”

  Had he known she had such a famous father? If he was just learning that now, would it affect his feelings toward Eloise? He wasn’t the opportunistic type, was he? But then, according to the story he had told her, he had found his way to a successful mentor before.

  Kacie’s stomach hollowed. Her hands clenched into fists, but she forced them open. It didn’t make sense to be jealous of another woman’s time with Toby, when she had just settled on a new plan to push him away from herself.

  She vaguely heard the announcement that Louie and Alia were the losers and were going into the cook-off. That would suck for them, since they were sort of dating. Kacie would be okay if she had to go against Toby, she told herself. They weren’t dating. They weren’t.

  She was putting this gorgeous man, who had everything she had ever wanted from a man, into a decidedly non-romantic role. Why was she doing that? No, it was best. If he hooked up with Eloise after all, it would hurt, and, she realized lamely, would hurt for a long time, but she’d be better off at the end. Maybe she should even tell him his way to Eloise was clear. Yes, she would. It would be hard, because she wanted him, no, craved him, but it wasn’t right to do everything you felt like doing, or be with just anyone you felt like being with.

  ∞∞∞

  Kacie pretended not to notice that Toby was trying to catch her attention as she made her way to the lounge. She got upstairs on an earlier elevator than the other chefs, or so she thought: but the kitchen was already busy with the dinner food. Yes, she could help with that. But who was cooking? She got to the kitchen entrance, heard some tuneless humming, and there was Chef Buster.

  “You my helper tonight?” he asked. “Ready to learn at the feet of the master?”

  “Yeah, sure,” she said. She didn’t want to watch Toby meeting Eloise’s father. Jealousy was like a scab that hurt and bled when you scratched it, but that still you felt compelled to scratch. She would be strong and not scratch that scab.

  Soon she was occupied chopping bell peppers and onions. Buster monologued about his greatness. Then he asked her to watch the burners while he went to meet Chef Hamilton. He was starting to sidle out of the kitchen when a bustling group arrived there.

  The group was led by Eloise, holding Toby’s arm on one side and her father’s on the other. The two were similar in height, Chef Hamilton slightly taller. He was distinguished and handsome for his age, with a broad forehead and a full head of curly silver hair, dressed in a navy suit, blue shirt, and purple tie. He had a gigantic pinkie ring. Shaun Kerr and some cameramen she didn’t recognize made up the rest of the contingent.

  “These are my other two opponents,” Eloise said. “Dad, this is Chef Wayne, our molecular specialist, and Chef Lee, our Korean specialist.”

  “And burgers,” Kacie added as she took her turn to shake his dry, soft hand.

  “Yes, Nina told me about you both,” said J.C. Hamilton in a reedy voice, kind of like Philip Seymour Hoffman. “If you get out to San Diego, come by Electricity Garden and I’ll put you at chef’s table. If I’m there, I’ll make you something myself, sounds good?”

  Moments later he had breezed his way out of the kitchen and was down in the common area again.

  “Well, now we know how Eloise got on the show,” Buster whispered. His bad breath puffed on Kacie’s face. “Well, all the same, I guess I better head out there soon after the show is over. Doing a stage for him could create opportunities.”

  “Well, he didn’t offer us that,” Kacie pointed out.

  “I’ll charm him into it,” said Buster. “You have to admit I have charm. People love me, right?”

  There was no good answer to that.

  Toby came up into the kitchen. “Got a couple minutes?” he asked Kacie.

  “Sure. Buster, it’s all yours, okay?”

  “Yeah, I got it. I was only letting you help so that you could admire my technique.”

  Kacie followed Toby to the sofa and sat beside him. “What’s up?”

  “I just wanted to tell you, don’t make anything out of what Eloise was doing. They wanted some arm candy for her, you know, for the cameras.”

  Kacie hadn’t had time to think about it, but she knew what her new strategy was for dealing with Toby: put him in the friend zone. She struggled to find words, but she had to find some, some way to cleanse herself of the distraction that he represented.

  “You do whatever you want with Eloise. Whatever you want. I’m not in your way, Toby. You’re a grown-up.”

  “I’m not asking for permission,” he said. “I don’t want permission. I’m telling you it was nothing.”

  “Well. I was figuring it might be good for your career if you spend more time with her, since her dad’s famous. I want you to be successful, Toby.”

  “And I will be, but that’s not the way I’m planning to do it. And I want to be happy, too. And that means – well, you know what I think it means.”

  “Okay, I get it, but you should really think about that carefully. You know, reconsider it. We can always be friends, but Eloise can take you places.”

  He stirred restlessly. “Just once, I’d like to understand what you’re saying for more than a few seconds at a time.”

  “I’m saying we’re friends, Toby.”

  “Are you saying that’s it?”

  All she had to do is say yes, that’s it. She formed the words in her mind, but they wouldn’t come out. “I mean, maybe you should do what’s best for you.”

  “I know what’s best for me. I know who’s right for me and who isn’t.” He shifted in his seat. “Okay, I decided I was going to back off some, after the other day. Do you want me to do that some more? You don’t want to talk?”

  “No, talk. We can talk.”

  He jerked upright. “You know what? We will, later. Just now this is too fucked up for me, you know? I’m getting some food. You want some?”

  Kacie wasn’t hungry for Buster’s food. “No, you know what? I think I’ll go whip up something downstairs. See you later, country boy.”

  She had to get away from his accusing look. It was just scratching the scab. She wasn’t hungry but took the elevator to the pantry and walked around looking at ingredients without seeing them.

  Drifting around one corner, she crashed into a sho
rt, pudgy man with a white-haired comb-over. He was accompanied by a man and a woman in suits with name tags.

  “Oh, sorry.”

  “No,” he said, “it’s all right. I … Wait, have we met?” He had a thick accent that sounded familiar. It had to be someone she had seen on TV.

  “I’m Kacie Lee, from Koryo Burger.”

  “Uh… right, best burger in Queens. McNab debuted you, right? What show?”

  “I’m on Chef Showdown. No, we haven’t met. I think I’ve seen you on TV.”

  “Sure, could be. I’m Al Rokos.”

  Of course – now she recalled him, although he looked taller on TV. He was Hammer Chef Greek, Alastair Rokos. They shook hands.

  “I tried your recipe for tzatziki sauce,” Kacie said, although she hadn’t gotten around to it. “It was great with my bulgogi.”

  “Yes, yes. It would be. You make bulgogi often? Of course you do. Oh, this is Celeste and, um…”

  “Matt,” said the man. “Chef, we should head back up in a few minutes.”

  Rokos looked mildly peeved. “Yes, Celeste and Matt. They’re associate producers, or something. We have to go, but I’ll see you when I’m on the show.”

  “Sir,” said Celeste. “You shouldn’t…”

  “I wasn’t supposed to say that, right?” He waved his hand impatiently at his assistants. “I just can’t get used to New York, rules and secrets. Okay, Chef Lee, don’t tell anyone, and if you don’t, I’ll make you up a jar of tzatziki sauce for your parents after the show’s over. Good night.”

  They separated, and as Kacie walked away, she heard him call to her.

  “Yes, sir?”

  “When are we having dinner?” he asked.

  “Come to Koryo Burger, and I’ll put you at the chef’s table, and if I’m there, I’ll make you something myself. How’s that?”

  Rokos laughed. “Come to Milos Cove, and I’ll do the same. Okay, good night.”

  She went back upstairs, and her eyes found Toby. He was sitting with Alia and Louie but looked at her expectantly and half rose. She pointed to the dorm hallway.