Chef Showdown_A Romance

by MJ Post

  Shelley said, “We only made one promo today. It makes sense because you actually got the first strike.”

  “So I look like a loser before the show even starts?”

  “People will forget about it by the time they tune in. You’re barely shown.”

  “And the sound-byte you picked for me is shit, too.”

  “Thanks for being diplomatic,” said Shelley.

  Buster added, “Can you show me doing something interesting? I was just cutting open a sous vide bag for a second.”

  “Isn’t that mostly what you do?” Shelley snapped.

  “Huh? No!”

  “Okay, just kidding. Again, chefs, this is just one promo. You’ll all get featured in promos, and we’re going to shoot some spots with you cooking for our website.”

  Vegas interrupted, “You could show me putting the crickets in the tacos, Shelley. People will watch for the crickets.”

  The director waved her hands. “Okay, enough. Any suggestions, write them on a piece of paper and give them to me in the morning. You want to see it again, or you want to gripe some more?”

  They watched and analyzed the promo till the food arrived. Vegas, Alia, and Louie took charge of plating at the dining table.

  Kacie waited her turn in the food line and eventually brought two plates of arugula toast, tapenade with handmade blue corn chips, and breadcrumb-stuffed zucchini to the common-room, slid one plate onto Toby’s lap. He began absently to eat.

  “I think it was okay,” Kacie said.

  “I like the zucchini,” he replied.

  “No, the promo. It was okay.”

  Maryann sat down by them with her plate.

  “Sure,” Toby said. “It was about Nina mostly. For us, it gave a look at our faces and personalities, but only enough to get people interested. But really that ad was about Nina. She’s a bigger selling point than any of us. She’s successful, has her own style, and her big personality, Shelley tapped into that.”

  Kacie saw he was right. He had found words for things she had intuited but not known how to explain.

  “Well,” Maryann said, “I think it’s fucked up.”

  “They made you look like a villain,” Toby said. “But villains sell shows. They made Buster look like a villain, too. Sometimes people go for that.”

  “Easy for you to say,” Maryann fired back. “You look like a golden boy in that ad.”

  “A golden boy with two strikes, same as you have.”

  “Aah, Madame was compensating. Wouldn’t want to make it too obvious. She’s in love with you, kid.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “Mommy loves her little boy,” Maryann continued to Toby. “Soooo much.”

  Toby stood up so fast his plate tumbled to the floor. “Hey, fuck you!”

  “Ooh, seems like I got to you now.” Maryann grinned. “So get your head out of your ass already.”

  “You don’t talk to me that way!” Toby’s nostrils flared. “No one gets to talk to me that way!”

  Kacie grabbed his hand and tugged him back toward the sofa.

  The other chefs and Shelley converged on the confrontation. Toby finally sat down, and Kacie kept her grip on his hand.

  “What’s it about?” Shelley asked.

  “Toby has mommy issues,” said Maryann.

  “Fucking bitch,” Toby told her.

  “Hey! Both of you chill, or I’ll call Madame to strike you both out.”

  “It’d just be me,” said Maryann. “She WUVS him. He’s her little cutie dumpling, her little cuddle bunny. Right?”

  Toby tried to surge up again, but Kacie, still holding his hand, threw herself back and managed to stop his attack. Eloise came and sat on the other side. Kacie gave her a look, and she moved a little further away.

  “Maryann,” Kacie said, “I respect you, but if you don’t stop now, I will physically beat the shit out of you.”

  “Like to see you try.” Maryann didn’t move, didn’t look at her.

  “Can we be mature a moment?” Eloise asked. “What is this really about?”

  “It’s about the video,” Buster suggested. “Right?”

  “Right, fat boy. It’s all about the video. Because they’re using me like a dancing monkey, while someone else is the real star. That’s not what I signed up for.”

  “Sure it is,” said Shelley. “You signed up to cook on TV and get exposure on TKN, and the rest is up to us.”

  “So, you admit it.”

  “I’m just pointing out that you signed over management of your TV image to us. You gave us your trust. How you behave on-camera is your decision. What you give us, we get to use.”

  “You didn’t show me right!”

  “It’s a one-second clip. The whole season won’t be the same as that. Our viewers will tune in for the cooking, and an excellent Chinese chef will make a great impression.”

  “But why did you make me look so stupid? I don’t buy it.”

  “Everyone’s going to look stupid sometime,” said Eloise. “I know I will. Remember when I forgot to screw on the top of that foamer? Ricky was right there with the handheld when I was trying to skim the foam off my bisque.”

  Maryann had calmed down, was just sulking. “That’s not the same.”

  Shelley turned to Toby. “This isn’t another case of acting for the camera, is it?”

  Kacie could feel Toby trembling, spoke for him. “It’s not. He was calm till she started it.”

  “You calm now?”

  “I’m calm.” Toby gripped Kacie’s hand tightly.

  “I didn’t know it was that sensitive,” Maryann told him. “Did you get bullied on Facebook as a kid or something?”

  “Don’t,” Kacie said.

  “I thought he had a thicker skin.”

  “I need some exercise. I need some air. I need out of this fucking building,” Toby said.

  Shelley nodded, took out her phone. They sat a while making small talk. Then Ozzy walked in.

  “Just got on duty. Late shift today,” he said. “Did I miss dinner?”

  “A little’s left on the table,” Shelley said. “First, would you take Chef Brutus, and only Chef Brutus, out for a walk? He gets air, and exercise, but no phone or Internet.”

  “Sure.”

  “See you later,” Toby told Kacie. He freed his hand gently.

  ∞∞∞

  Five bottles of wine were brought up, all leftovers from the filming of other shows. Two Chardonnays, one Pinot Grigio, a Syrah, a Cabernet. Kacie swilled the Syrah. Something had been worrying the back of her mind, and now, without the distraction of Toby, it came to the forefront. Hammer Chef Greek Al Rokos hadn’t appeared on the show yet, and she wasn’t prepared for the day that he would: she could not make Greek food with any finesse. One of her friends could, however.

  “Louie,” she said. “Can you show me a couple of Greek dishes?”

  “Sounds fun,” Louie said. “Let’s trade. Let me take a couple of your kimchi jars from the cabinet for my mom and dad?”

  “I’ll make you some fresh while you watch,” Kacie said.

  After a trip to the pantry, they returned to the common-room kitchen to work. Kacie shared some of her kimchi techniques, and Louie taught her how to make spinach pies, an orzo salad, and grape leaves. Alia and Eloise joined them and watched. Vegas and Buster stuck with ESPN, although they came up to the dining room when it was time to eat.

  They got word that Kitchen One was operational at around 9 PM. Kacie went down with Buster and Vegas to check on it. Focusing on the status of the repairs enabled her to push Toby’s problems out of her mind for a while. Some of their ovens and burners weren’t drawing power. Kacie checked Toby’s, Alia’s, and Louie’s. Eventually they made a list of necessary repairs and gave it to Ozzy to put in Shaun Kerr’s mailbox.

  “Toby okay?” Kacie asked the security man. Everyone else was gone, and they were nearly to the elevator.

  “He didn’t talk much,” said Ozzy. “I�
��m the kung fu master of chit chat, so I dragged a few words out of him, Georgia talking to Mississippi, if you know what I mean.”

  “It’s two days already,” Kacie said. She wiped sweat from under her eyes, hoped he didn’t think she was crying. “I just wish he would trust me with whatever it is.”

  ∞∞∞

  It was dim and quiet in the common-room. All the wine bottles were empty except for a swallow of Chardonnay, which Kacie took straight from the lip of the bottle. Then she went into the hallway, meaning to check the men’s dorm. If Toby was there, and still distant, that might be it. She might give up on him and focus on competing.

  No, she couldn’t give up on him.

  But they could start again after the show was over.

  But not if he was a cold prick.

  But before he had started his shit, he had been perceptive, charming, patient, attentive. That man had to be inside him still. She had to be able to reclaim that Toby.

  There was no need to go into the dorm room. Toby could just barely be seen in the little alcove at the end of the hallway, near the fire exit door and not far from the entrances to the two dorm rooms.

  Kacie had realized earlier that the spot where she found Toby was a camera-blind area, one of very few such places on the floor. If people in that area were loud, the microphones might hear them, but if they kept quiet, and kept close to the stairwell door, it would be impossible to record their actions.

  Toby was slumped down on the floor, his back to the wall, his long legs bent in front of him. He hugged his knees and stared into the darkness. It wasn’t like him to sit alone or to look so defeated. It worried her. She went and crouched by him, checked the angle. She hoped the camera couldn’t see her. She kept her voice low.

  “What’s the matter? Forgot how to walk?”

  He looked up at her, gave a trace of a smile. “I think you’re the only person I’d like to see right now.”

  “Well, you’re seeing me. What now?”

  “Stay a while.”

  She considered. His chin dropped.

  “Or don’t. It’s your world, Kacie. Rest of us just live in it.”

  “That’s not fair. I hung out with you as much as I could today. You’re the one who ran off.”

  “You’re right. I did. That was then. This is now. If you care, stay. Please, no bullshitting around it. If you care, stay. If you’re too mad now, go, and we’re done.”

  Kacie stepped past him, closer to the door, and slid down beside him. “You’re being a dick, but I care, and I’m staying. No more bullshitting is right, country boy. Tell me what’s going on.”

  She put her arm around him, pulled him closer, shifted a little. “Rest your head on my shoulder. Good, like that.”

  It felt as natural as if they had been friends always. The weight of his head, his peppery scent pleased her; so did his solidity, the soft touch of his cheek. She said, “What happened, Toby?”

  “That paper the other day was a message from my dad. Wasn’t too nice.” He turned his head slightly, and Kacie realized his face was in her hair. She felt his breaths there.

  “Why wasn’t it nice? Your dad isn’t nice?”

  “He’s nice to say hello. Great manners. A charming man in a high-society setting. And he won’t fight with you either, Roy Brutus won’t. He’ll just let you know he’s annoyed, and then he shuts up like a clam. That’s my dad.”

  “Really? Shit, my dad’s exactly like that. His trick is, he talks to my mom, you know, lectures to her about me, and doesn’t say it right to me. Like she’s supposed to fix it. I always figured that was a Korean thing, but maybe it’s just a Steve Lee thing. So, what was the message?”

  He fumbled in his jeans pocket and pulled out a ragged slip of paper.

  “He picked Nina to give me the message,” Toby said, his voice slightly elevated. “Nina, of all people. My dad called Boris and Boris gave him her number. He didn’t even call TKN directly. My dad and his good old boy network bullshit. Do you believe that?”

  “I don’t know what that is.”

  “You know what networking is?”

  “Sure, yeah.”

  “It’s fat rich white people’s networking. Boris isn’t white, but the principle’s the same. Solve everything backwards because you know someone who can do you a favor.”

  “Okay, got it.”

  “So it’s not the just the embarrassment of Nina telling me, but it’s the shitty way he does things. That old-fashioned privileged bullshit way.”

  Kacie sort of understood this. There had been an in-crowd and nobodies in culinary school, too.

  She took the slip of paper from his hand to read it. He had moved his head; she missed feeling it there. It was too dark to read the paper.

  “What does it say?”

  “It says that as a personal favor for my mother, the dean of the engineering school is holding open a slot for me when this show is over.”

  “Engineering school?”

  “Yeah. At Ole Miss.”

  “Holy shit. My folks wanted me to go to engineering school, too. So… You don’t want to do it, right?”

  “No. Of course not. And he knows! That motherfucker knows! I understand just what he’s doing. He’s telling me I’m going to fail, and when I do, he’ll be there to be the smart guy and fix his stupid son’s life.”

  Toby stopped, breathing hard. Kacie wasn’t sure what to say. Her dad had been hard on her, but never as bad as that. “What about your mom? Can she help?”

  He chuckled. “No way. They’re in it together. Thick as thieves. I can just see them going back and forth, working each other up to get the wording of the message just right. Sharpening those knives.”

  “Oh, man. My mom, you know, she was always nice to me even when she agreed with my dad. So – who’d you talk to, growing up? I mean…”

  “Lillian. She was my best …” He lowered his head, and his chest heaved. “Those motherfuckers. Never proud of me. Never! Never, unless they could make me just like them. Professor Tobias in a button-front shirt and sport jacket. God damn it!”

  Kacie’s arm was starting to get uncomfortable, but she didn’t want to let go of him. Couldn’t let go. She sat up, shifted, moved her arm and took one of his hands instead. She tilted some to look at his face, saw tears on his face in the gloom.

  Looked closer, saw his dark eyes. Tried to give him a smile. Saw his tears and felt hers come, too. She wiped his face with the back of her free hand.

  “That’s okay,” he said.

  “No, I want to.”

  “I might take it the wrong way,” he whispered.

  “What’s the wrong way, country b—.“

  But then he had moved his face into hers with grace and kissed her lips and stayed there, freed his hand from hers and put it behind her head and dug his fingers into her hair and he kissed and kissed and kissed till her head spun, kissed again and again wildly, on her lips over and over, on the corners and dead on with the salty taste of their tears blended in, then down onto her neck, tilted her and was kissing all over her throat, just wild, wild.

  And stopped. “I’m sorry. I… Just I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long. Feels like so long.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “I just don’t know if you see me that way. You just call me country boy, right? You can play with me. You’re from the city, you’re tough.”

  “I’m not playing, Toby. I’m just scared. You’re the first guy who ever liked me.”

  He paused to take that in. “That can’t be,” he said finally. “I mean… You come into the room, it’s like the sun came up. You’re that beautiful. Nobody ever liked you before? Can’t be.”

  “Toby, all I ever did was cook. I never had a boyfriend. I never even dated anyone. That’s why I’m messing up so much with you. I’m scared.”

  “Scared of me?”

  “No, not scared of you. I mean… I’m just used to being on my own. I mean… you know, country boy is a good thing. Ci
ty boys are all assholes, you know?”

  “Uh huh. But I’m not an asshole?”

  “No! I know you’re not. The only thing has been, I don’t know how to tell if a guy really likes me. I don’t know what that’s like.”

  “Well, I really like you.”

  “Okay, yeah, I understand. I know that.”

  “You know it. Do you feel it?” He leaned in to kiss her again. “Do you feel that?”

  “I feel it.”

  “And what does it make you feel?”

  “It’s so good. It’s perfect. You’re perfect. Look, when the show is over, please. I want you to be my first. We’ll get a hotel room or something.”

  “It’s not enough,” Toby said.

  “But… men all want sex, don’t they? I just said I want to do that for you.”

  “Yeah. But I want you to be with me. I want an understanding between us. That’s the only way I can do it. You have to be mine, all the way.”

  “Toby, that’s so complicated. How can we work that out? We don’t even know what’s coming a week from now.”

  “I say, what’s coming a week from now is what we have right now, and that is… I don’t know how to say it, a trust that we should be together, do things together.”

  “Boyfriend girlfriend, yeah, I understand. But I mean, what’s that like?”

  “I guess it’s pretty hard,” Toby said. “But you’re the one I want to do it with.”

  “But I’m nobody. I’m just a Korean girl from Jackson Heights. You can’t possibly…”

  Toby moved in and kissed her again, slowly, urgently, and wrapped his arms around her. Kacie could not hold back and reached around to hold his head and caress his flowing hair. They slid down the wall as far as they could to remain out of the camera’s view.

  That went on for a while. Then Toby stopped. He kept his face close to hers and said, “I don’t want to go on unless I know I’m not the only one with feelings here. Do you have feelings for me?”

  “Yeah, you know I do. Come on, Toby.”

  “Are you fooling around with me because you want to lose your virginity? Or because you like me as a man? Do you like how I look and how I talk and things like that?”