Chef Showdown_A Romance

by MJ Post

  The envelopes were custom-matched to the colors of their hats. Toby accepted the black one closed with a crawdad sticker and, when the camera setups were done, slid his finger under the sticker and pulled out a card. It read: day 6: traditional French ratatouille.

  Kacie checked with him once they were free. She was charged with recreating the cardoon dish that had defeated her in her cook-off against Buster. “I can’t really show off my skills with this dish,” she said, “but maybe that’s the point.”

  “The ratatouille was probably my worst dish,” Toby responded. “But I think I can figure it out.”

  Alia had to redo her lamb chops with mint sauce from day 8. Eloise was again cooking a bebimbap like the one that had gotten her into a cook-off on day 3.

  “We’re all screwed,” Eloise said. “About equally, I suppose. Well, at least I know to serve with a spoon this time.”

  “None of us are cooking from our ideal menus,” Alia added. “Well, we’ll do all we can.”

  The filming setup moved to the pantry, where each of them stood in front of a full shopping cart and described their feelings and their plans.

  Toby said: “I think we’re all pretty darn tired, but we’re still excited to see how it all comes out. I would have liked to cook my best dish to win, instead of one I messed up before. But on the other hand, Madame Queen knows best, I suppose. She always has known best since I first met her.”

  Shelley: “Are you going to win today?”

  Toby: “Well, I intended to cook well enough to win. With all the personalities involved, a lot of tough Hammer Chefs advising Nina about what to do, all I can do myself is push hard and keep my focus and intensity where they ought to be.”

  Shelley: “You noticed you’re the only man left in the competition. What are your feelings about that?”

  Toby: “I guess, let the best man win?”

  Shelley: “What are your predictions for the outcome?”

  Toby: “It’ll be close. I don’t have any trash-talking to do. I just think we worked hard to be here, and whoever wins will deserve it.”

  Shelley: “How about something in French for the romance-minded fans out there?”

  Toby: “Uh, okay. It’s Oprah Winfrey who said this, actually. ‘La vraie cuisine est une forme d’art. Un cadeau à partager.’”

  Toby was happy to break away from the camera for a while. He gave Kacie a squeeze on the shoulder as she was interviewing, then headed for the bathroom to clear his head. He took off his baseball cap, shook out his hair, splashed his face. The breakfast was still heavy in his belly. He’d made the ratatouille kind of Cajun the last time; all he had to do to improve it was to reduce the heat level. He could add squash — some versions had it, and it added color. No, maybe not. A different kind of tomatoes could vary the acidity, was that worth trying?

  ∞∞∞

  Kacie wasn’t sure how to improve her recipe for gamja jorim potatoes with cardoons. It had been pretty good the first time around. Improving on something you’d already done your best with was a different challenge than the other three were facing. Toby’s problem was to make something more traditional and less influenced by his personal palate. Alia had a very boring dish to upgrade. Eloise was cooking a cuisine that, despite her pedigree as a fusion chef, was outside her range.

  Kacie thought she had it hardest of the four of them. She spent extra time in the pantry looking at seasonings. Then she remembered what she had now that she hadn’t had the first time, and that was her own kimchi. She had one jar of yeolmumul kimchi left that she hadn’t served; the green water kimchi, made with fresh radishes and peppers, had turned out especially well, and she had planned to take it home and serve it to her family when they met Toby for the first time. That plan could be scrapped. She could adjust the gamja jorim’s flavor just slightly so that it was better complimented by her kimchi. Okay, she’d do that.

  There was one more bit of good news; the elk that had been selected for her was a finer cut than she had had the first time. Her bulgogi would thus be tastier, also.

  Her interview right before cooking was annoying.

  Shelley: “Well, this is the moment of truth. You’re facing three opponents two of whom you have never beaten. In fact, no one has beaten Chef Kamara in a cook-off. How do you think your odds are?”

  Kacie: “I’m excited to be cooking for Chef Dampierre again. Since we made that great French meal last week, I’ve been thinking about his advice all the time. I hope I can get his vote.”

  Shelley: “But can you win against Chef Kamara?”

  Kacie: “She’s a great person, so I’m not going to criticize her. But I’m not going to say she’s better than me, either. I’ve won plenty of times on this show. I can win again.”

  Shelley: “You had a confrontation with Chef Hamilton the other day that was pretty dramatic. Do you guys have any problems left to iron out?”

  Kacie: “No, we’re good now. We’re just really different people in how we approach things.”

  Shelley: “If you don’t win, who’s going to win?”

  Kacie: “One of the others.”

  Shelley: “Do a little better for me. Pick someone, please.”

  Kacie: “I think the fans of the show are going to be the winners, because this is going to be the best TV cooking competition that anyone has ever seen.”

  Shelley: “Come on, Chef Lee. We need some drama.”

  Kacie: “What drama?”

  Shelley: “We need to make drama about whether you pick your boyfriend or not.”

  Kacie: “Fuck that.”

  Shelley: “Seriously, just do what I’m asking.”

  Kacie: “We’re cooking for a big prize. That’s enough fucking drama, Shelley.”

  Shelley took off her headphones. “Madame!” she shouted.

  Madame Queen, who was just starting to dial her phone, answered the call from the director instead. “I am extremely busy.”

  Shelley: “Who isn’t? Look, tell Chef Lee to answer my question, okay?”

  Madame: “What question?”

  Shelley: “I want her to predict someone to win besides herself.”

  Kacie: “No, I’m not doing that.”

  Madame: “I cannot be bothered. Say what you want, Chef Lee.”

  Kacie: “Okay, okay, I know what to say.”

  Madame Queen stood on the side to listen as Shelley fit her headset back on and Vince leveled the camera.

  Kacie: “I’m planning to win, but I know it’s tough. If I don’t win, anyone could, but I’ll be rooting for Chef Brutus. Seeing him happy would mean a lot to me.”

  ∞∞∞

  As the four cooked, Kacie felt her tension begin to melt away. Thanks to gloves, she didn’t cut herself on any thorns while cleaning the cardoons. Her flavors were well-balanced and pungent. The potatoes and cardoons were the perfect texture. When the four chefs served each other ramekins of their dishes — Alia with small rib chops, Toby with a few bites of his chunky, hearty vegetables, Eloise with rice and a spicy topping — Kacie thought her food was the best.

  ∞∞∞

  They took a break for about thirty minutes to shower and change. Kacie felt drained as she sat in the common-room with Toby, his arm around her shoulders, watching but not really watching a rerun of Modern Family. Eloise was sitting on the other sofa, asleep with her chin on her chest. Alia looked sleepy also. There was now nothing more any of them could do to help themselves. It was all in the hands of three Hammer Chefs and Madame Queen.

  ∞∞∞

  Derrick came upstairs to sit with the four of them. “The tasting is almost over. You’ll come down in about ten minutes. The Hammer Chefs will have their opinions on a chart paper pad in their own handwriting. Madame is in her office. We’ll let you look at the pad, then interview you again. Anyone want some coffee? I’m going out to Starbuck’s.”

  ∞∞∞

  Thirty minutes after that, fortified with coffee, Kacie and Toby strode off the elevator t
ogether, followed by Alia and Eloise. One by one, they were filmed shaking hands with the Hammer Chefs and then reacting to the recommendations on the pad.

  It read:

  Chef Dampierre: Chef Lee

  Chef Medvedev: Chef Hamilton

  Chef Rokos: Chef Hamilton

  Eloise shook her fists at about shoulder level after she had read the recommendations. “Wow, just wow,” she said. “I’m honored.” To the judges. “Thank you, chefs.”

  Shelley said she was going to Madame’s office and left.

  “That’s it, then,” Kacie said. “Eloise won. I’m not really surprised.”

  “No, she didn’t,” Toby said. His expression was calm and flat.

  “Then what does that mean?”

  Toby smiled slowly. “It means they gave Nina their opinions. Remember what she said. The final decision is still up to her.”

  “But if two of them picked Eloise…”

  “It doesn’t matter,” Alia confirmed. “I’m not surprised. They all three went with the same chef they picked when they were guest judges. If they hadn’t, it would look like they were wrong the first time.”

  “Nina never does what anyone tells her,” said Toby.

  Chef Dampierre approached, took Kacie aside. “Will it surprise you?” he asked. “I called Camille Belgarde. We had a nice talk, about old times mostly. I told him about meeting you and asked him why he hadn’t done anything to help such a fantastic student. And he said he didn’t know who you were.”

  Kacie considered what to say and went with honesty. “No. Actually, that doesn’t surprise me.”

  “What a fucking idiot,” said Dampierre. “If you want a reference, let me know, all right?”

  ∞∞∞

  Celeste and Matt came and escorted the Hammer Chefs out of the studio. Everyone else was left to wait. After an hour had passed with no sign of Shelley or Madame Queen, Toby and Derrick went to the pantry and came back with a tray of mussels. Toby set to work. After a while, he fed the entire cast and crew.

  It was now past ten P.M. The film crew packed up their equipment, and the chefs went to the common-room again. Kacie fell asleep on Toby’s shoulder.

  ∞∞∞

  While Kacie was sleeping, Toby sat staring at the poem on the pad. He didn’t see what it had to do with him or his fellow competitors. Alia went to the dining room table and nursed a cup of chamomile. Eloise fetched her notebook and pen and sat next to him, a respectful distance away.

  “I told you,” Eloise said. “I knew I’d be in the finals, and that you would. So here we are. Now the question is, what are we going to do about it? Professionally, I mean?”

  “I think we’re all of us in good shape,” Toby said.

  “No,” Eloise said. “You aren’t. Your only plan is your food truck. You know you can do better than that. Are you sure you don’t want to come work for my dad? Don’t worry about her,” looking at Kacie. “She’ll come with you.”

  “Something will come up,” Toby said.

  Eloise scratched on her pad. She checked the location of the cameras, then showed the pad to him, angled so the cameras would not catch it. Toby read the number on the pad. It said, “$105K.”

  “What’s that?” he asked.

  “That’s the starting salary for the executive chef at Electricity Garden II, when it opens up next year,” Eloise said. “In Reno, I think.”

  “Nice,” said Toby. “So you should apply for it. You just might have an edge. I think you know the owner.”

  “Dad’s only one of the investors,” Eloise said. “He’s worried they won’t accept me being in charge at first. You know what sexists investors can be. They’ll trust a man better.”

  Toby saw where she was going with it. “So you open with a man in charge, and then after a while, you take over.”

  “Sure, maybe. If it goes well with the man, Dad can always set me up somewhere else instead.”

  “Right,” said Toby. “You need a fall guy. You tell the investors he’s messing up, and you come in to save the day.”

  Eloise lowered the pad. “Dad’s not like that,” she said. “You guys have the wrong idea about us.” She wrote on the pad, then lifted it again. Toby read, “$120K.”

  “Nope,” said Toby. “I just moved to New York. I’m staying.”

  Eloise tore off the top page and crumpled it. Kacie stirred. Eloise put her now clean pad on the table and went to discard the paper in the kitchen garbage. She stayed in the kitchen. Toby noticed she wasn’t making Alia the same offer. That point about the investors wanting a man at the helm might be true, then.

  ∞∞∞

  It was past midnight when Toby woke up at the ding sound of the elevator. Kacie had put his head in her lap and was sipping chamomile. Alia was sitting nearby them. Eloise was curled up on the other sofa asleep. Her pad was still on the table.

  Kacie helped Toby sit up and gave him some tea. Derrick told the four chefs to assemble in Kitchen One for the final verdict.

  A makeup girl they hadn’t seen before worked on them all in the TV studio. Cameraman Ricky, who had left earlier, had returned and was the only crewman on a camera. Shelley, who had heavy bags under her eyes, took the other, leaving Derrick to set up the shots.

  Madame Queen had changed to a dark brown pantsuit and a green blouse with a ruff in front. Her stiletto heels clattered on the floor of the kitchen, which Kacie noticed had been cleaned thoroughly. The nap and a cup of tea had cleared her head, but she was still tired.

  “This has been a painfully difficult decision,” Madame Queen said to the camera. “At some time, I considered giving the victory to each of the four finalists. All four are entirely worthy of victory. All four have proven themselves under intense pressure. All four are fit to represent The Kitchen Network. I believe that all four have a future on television. I am certain that all four have a future as restaurateurs.”

  “Cut,” Derrick said. He looked at his clipboard. “Okay, Shelley, set up on Chef Hamilton. Ricky, stay on Madame.”

  Shelley rotated her camera to where Eloise stood on her mark, a cross of red electrical tape. Derrick adjusted the positioning of the lights. “Okay, go,” he said.

  Kacie thought, that’s it. She’s announcing Eloise as the winner. Okay, no problem. I did what Lou Morton told me to do and lasted till the finale. I can have that meeting with him. Maybe he’ll offer me a job I can do here and still run the restaurant. She had to stretch, but she took Toby’s hand and held it gently.

  “Chef Hamilton,” said Madame. “You were the advisory choice of two Hammer Chefs, and deservedly so, I think. You are worthy of this win. You are versatile in the extreme. You have never served a poor dish to me or to anyone. Tonight’s food was flawless, just as I expected.”

  “Thank you,” Eloise said.

  “However, you are also a highly manipulative and deceptive person,” said Madame. “These qualities are useful, and prized, in the culinary business and, indeed, in all business. Were I opening a restaurant in a competitive market, I would certainly want you among my principal staff members. But this competition was not intended to award playing hardball in a tight market. It was intended to award good cooking, good poise, and good character. You have only two of those three qualities. Strike three, Chef Hamilton. You are eliminated.”

  Eloise shrugged. “Okay. Thank you for the opportunity. I had a blast.”

  Eloise went to wait in the interview room. Kacie saw that her fists were clenched, and her shoulders shook just a little.

  Derrick checked his clipboard. “Chef Brutus,” he said.

  Toby’s loose grip on Kacie’s hand suddenly tightened. He emitted a heavy sigh.

  After camera adjustments, Madame Queen spoke again. “My dear Chef Brutus. My dear, dear, Chef Brutus. It would be so very tempting to award a win to you. You have the best palate overall. Your foods are comfort foods for your Queen. You are, in fact, the best young man to come out of the kitchens of the Deep South in at least a deca
de. You will, in time, surpass even me. However, you have not done so yet. I hope you will forgive your Queen.”

  “I’m not mad at you, Nina,” Toby said. “We’re friends.”

  “Thank you,” said Madame Queen. “Strike three.”

  Toby gave Kacie a quick hug, then in turn headed to the lounge. As he entered, Kacie saw that Eloise was leaving. Apparently there was a camera crew inside that room doing the final interviews.

  “Chef Lee and Chef Kamara,” Derrick said. “We need both of you together for the final decision.”

  Kacie stood next to Alia, whose breathing was faster.

  “I never expected to make it so far,” Alia whispered to Kacie. “Congratulations to both of us.”

  Kacie held and squeezed her hand.

  “Chef Kamara,” said the judge.

  Did Madame’s speaking to Alia first mean that she was going to be eliminated? Kacie wondered. She struggled to swallow. Her knees quivered. Was she going to win?

  “Your effort and attitude have been exemplary, your poise and maturity beyond compare,” said Madame Queen. “You are a model of patience and fortitude. You are also naturally gifted at the creation of flavors. With the least culinary training of anyone in this competition, you have managed never to receive a strike and have never suffered a loss. I do not expect that to happen ever again on this program. In fact, I admire you very deeply, Chef Kamara. I was a tempestuous young woman at your age.”