Gone Too Far : DCI Miller 4: Britain's Most Hated Celebrity Has Disappeared

by Steven Suttie

  “Yes, well, its simple enough, I just want to speak to the witnesses that have already been interviewed, that’s Kathy’s husband, manager and neighbours. I can’t trust an interview by reading it, I like to look in the person’s eyes and get a feeling for if they are telling me the truth. Hence, this slight de-tour from The Midland back to the office.”

  “It’s fine by me. And I was warned that you fart a lot, so don’t hold them in on my account!”

  Saunders was blushing again as he hit the indicator and started slowing down for the services.

  Chapter 14

  The Kathy Hopkirk story was not only big news in the UK and across Europe, the disappearance was making headlines on the other side of the Atlantic as well. Several news stations were leading on the story, as Kathy was almost as well known Stateside for her outspoken opinions, and possibly even more detested than she was at home.

  Two years earlier, Kathy had been invited onto the Tonight Show, America’s number one late-night talk show which averages ten million US TV viewers each night. Kathy was relatively unknown in the US at the time, but had been visiting New York on a book promotion tour, in a bid to get her name out there. The Tonight Show producers had heard that she was causing quite a stir back home in Britain, and decided to give her a five minute slot.

  It was to be an unforgettable five minutes, and Kathy certainly used the opportunity to get her name out there. She used the time to alienate herself from most of the television show’s viewers. Usually, the Americans can’t resist a British voice on their broadcasts, but Kathy did just enough in her debut five-minutes to ensure that she would never be invited back. The video-clip of that ill-fated appearance was still receiving a great deal of interest on Youtube, and had already racked up an extraordinary three hundred and forty-five million views.

  The interview started well, and Kathy was extremely smiley and charming. But when the host asked Kathy what she was doing in New York, he had no idea what she was about to say. The answer was supposed to be about Kathy’s book. However, the answer that she came out with stunned the host, and made the studio audience shout abuse at the guest, with many walking out in protest in the middle of the broadcast.

  “Well, I had a funny feeling that you were going to ask me that…” said Kathy, very flirtatiously. “So I decided to forget all about the book promotion.” Kathy held up a copy of her biography “I Beg Your Pardon” and smiled coyly, which received a huge laugh and a round of applause from the audience who loved the British sense of irony.

  “Well, considering that you’ve aborted those plans, you seem to be doing a great job all the same!” laughed the host.

  “No, in all seriousness, I have a deeper message. I’m here, because I want to help the people of America. You know, it breaks my heart when I see what happens over here. It seems that every week there is a news story back in England, about a mass shooting where kids are being killed in college, and at the cinema, by other kids who have picked up a gun and it breaks my heart. It really does. But when I’m in England, I feel so far away, I feel so helpless.”

  The usually cheery host was nodding sombrely, acknowledging the point that Kathy was making. The studio audience were also silenced, as thoughts of tragedy came flooding back.

  “And then, I look on the news another day, and I see reports that half of you guys are eating yourselves to death! Great big fat bastards waddling down the road, holding gigantic bucket sized Diet-Coke’s, triple-deck burgers and pizzas the size of a dustbin lid!”

  There was an awkward laugh from the bemused looking host, and several audience members, who were struggling to see what this bizarre illustration was leading to.

  “Honestly, you guys freak me out. Half of you running around with guns trying to kill one another, the other half of you are so morbidly obese that you couldn’t run if your feet were on fire!”

  There were a couple of embarrassed, awkward laughs, but the mood was becoming tense in the studio. Kathy knew it, she could feel that she was losing the audience, but she carried on regardless. “So, here’s the thing. Here’s a plan that will solve all of your problems.” Kathy stood up and walked in front of the TV host’s desk. She stood there like an air-hostess presenting the safety advice before a flight. It was really, really cringey, and the audience were starting to curl their toes.

  “All you fat people, grab hold of these shot-gun owners! Go up behind them, put your giant Coke bucket over their head, grab them, and sit down on them. Put all of your weight on their chests.” Kathy kneeled down on the floor, demonstrating her idea. “Just sit there until they die! And then, when these gun-owning morons have taken their last, pathetic breaths, you big fat losers can grab the gun out of their cold, dead hands and shoot yourselves in the mouth! And if you could all do that next Tuesday, that would be great!”

  The expression on the host’s face, as he tried to segue out of this unscripted, frankly suicidal rant by the British guest was a look of bewilderment. The audience had started jeering at Kathy, and one or two paper cups had been thrown down from the audience’s seating area. The NBC studio security team looked extremely edgy as many of the audience members began walking out.

  “That bitch is crazy, man!” shouted one rather stout lady as she made her exit.

  “Man! That shit ain’t funny mother fucker!” shouted another.

  This was car-crash TV in its rawest form. The host just watched on silently as the audience members continued to stand and walk out of the building. Over the speakers, a trail for “still to come…” began playing and the red-lights in the studio went off.

  “What the fuck was that?” screamed the director, marching across towards Kathy, and the host who looked completely frozen.

  “It’s just what I do, darling. It’s just what I do. Is my car here?”

  The Youtube video of this unforgettable TV debut was receiving so much interest in the present climate that many people couldn’t access it, the video just buffered non-stop.

  Even when Kathy Hopkirk was missing, her content was still going viral, and it was this precise quality which made her so unique. Kathy may be missing, but it almost felt as though she was missed, too. The old clips of her various stunts and monologues were being shared around all of the social networks, as people were reminding themselves of just how outrageous Kathy could be. If this was hatred, if this was a public demonstrating how much they detested the woman, it was a pretty peculiar way of going about it.

  Chapter 15

  “Bloody eight-pound-sixty for two cups of coffee! I had half a mind to arrest the girl behind the counter!” DC Helen Grant wasn’t very impressed by the price of the drinks.

  “It’s the services isn’t it? They can charge whatever they like, where else are you going to go?”

  “I know, but… it’s still a piss-take.”

  “Plus, we’re getting closer to London now, so the price goes up by a quid for every fifty miles closer you get!”

  Saunders pressed his key-fob and the car bloop-blooped as the doors unlocked.

  Within a few minutes, the car was back on the motorway, exceeding the speed limit again. The conversation so far had been pleasant and relaxed and Saunders really felt comfortable with Grant. He had to remind himself that he was her superior officer, and that she was a new DC on a probationary trial. He decided that all of the polite small-talk should now give way to work-talk, and the Kathy Hopkirk mis-per case inparticular.

  “Thanks, anyway,” said Saunders, as he took a sip from his Costa cup.

  “Pardon?” asked Grant, looking across at the DS, appearing as though she’d been in a daze and Saunders had just snapped her out of it. The look of innocence and wonder in Grant’s eyes made Saunders’ smile affectionately.

  “For the brew, thanks a lot.” Said Saunders.

  “Oh right, yeah, no worries. Make it last you though, I can’t afford to get them on the way back as well!”

  “No, I’ll get them nex
t time. Well, a can of pop, I’m not made of money. So, what do you think might have happened to our missing person?”

  “Oh, right, Kathy? I wondered when we’d get around to talking about her.”

  “Ooh, I don’t like the way you said ‘her.’ I take you’re not keen on her, then?”

  “I don’t think anybody is keen on Kathy Hopkirk, are they? But anyway, it really doesn’t matter about my opinions about the mis-per, does it? My priority is to carry out my duties in a professional and neutral manner, just as I would any other enquiry.”

  “Good answer.”

  “I bet that was hard work though, when you were trying to catch Pop?”

  Grant was referring to a famous case from a few years earlier, when the SCIU team were trying to catch a gunman who was executing paedophiles in cold, calculated hits all over Greater Manchester. It had been a challenging case, and one that had ended in the most devastatingly tragic circumstances for the SCIU team.

  “We don’t talk about that case.” Saunders’ voice was cold, detached. It made Grant sit up a little, wriggling in the passenger seat as she tried to adapt to the DS’s sudden change in mood.

  “Sorry… I…”

  “It’s okay, it’s bound to come up. But we don’t talk about that case. We lost our DI because of that. She was our best mate.” Saunders’ voice wobbled a bit at the end of his sentence, and Grant saw a tear start to form, which was quickly expelled with a wipe from the back of Saunders’ wrist.

  Grant felt an urgency to change the subject, whilst making a mental note not to put herself in this difficult position again.

  “Well, as I say, I don’t have much time for Kathy Hopkirk, but I’ll still put a full shift in until we find out what’s happened.” Grant looked out of her window, the scenery was lovely, the sun was beating down on a farm with lots of grazing livestock, the whole scene stood before a village in the distance with a beautiful church steeple on the horizon. “God, its nice round here, isn’t it?”

  “It is, it’s stunning.”

  “Gorgeous. It looks like something straight off a margarine tub.”

  Saunders and Grant laughed, and the ice had been broken from the previous, problematic conversation.

  “I think that’s the most northern thing I’ve ever heard anybody say!” laughed Saunders, repeating Grant’s comment under his breath.

  The rest of the journey into London was spent discussing the case, with Saunders explaining lots of the details that he had learnt about Kathy, her private life, her professional life and now her very public disappearance. Saunders went into greater detail about his plans for this visit. By the time that Saunders’ car had left the M25 at Junction 14 and was caught up in stationary traffic near to Heathrow airport, both of the detectives were desperate to get to work.

  “Oh, here, a text off the boss,” said Saunders, looking at his phone as he sat in the traffic jam. “Jo’s doing a press conference at four.”

  “It’s two minutes past.”

  “Shit, I’d better put Radio Five Live on, they’ll be taking it.”

  After a minute of fumbling with the radio and trying to find the correct station, Grant and Saunders heard their colleague’s voice in the car speakers, as the DC who was 300 miles away was addressing the press.

  Chapter 16

  DC Jo Rudovsky’s hands were shaking, it was given away by the piece of paper that she was reading from. She realised how bad her trembling hands looked, and placed the script onto the table top. The media centre at MCP HQ was absolutely ram-packed with reporters, all desperate to hear this first official police report on the number-one news story on all networks.

  Jo was doing well, despite her nerves. The popular DC had become something of a media starlet in the north-west a few years earlier, when she’d been severely injured in a knife attack trying to protect members of the public. As a result of her heroics, she had received a number of awards, and as she was so pretty and stylish, her photo was appearing everywhere. The final award in a year of glitzy dinners and ceremonies was to win the “Miss Gay UK” title, and Jo had been a gay pin-up ever since due to her swagger, her wicked sense of humour and her natural confidence and charisma.

  But today, her usual media charm was missing. Jo had a very serious role to carry out, and she was determined to make a good job of it. This wasn’t the appropriate time to flirt with the cameras.

  “Thanks everyone for attending today. I have a statement to read out regarding the disappearance of Kathy Hopkirk. There will be an opportunity to ask questions at the end of this brief statement. I’ll start the statement in ten seconds. Thank you.”

  Jo looked around the hall at the press staff, and checked that everybody was ready. She took a deep breath and began.

  “Manchester City Police are currently working with the Metropolitan Constabulary in London, trying to find out what has happened to Kathy Hopkirk, the famous television and radio celebrity. As has already been reported in the media, Kathy is a fifty-five year old woman who lives in London, but disappeared whilst she was staying in Manchester. Kathy has never done anything like this before, and as a result of the missing person report – we are currently dealing with this one, as well as a total of thirty-seven missing persons reports that have been logged with Manchester City Police over the course of the weekend.”

  Jo stopped and took a sip of water. Her boss, DCI Miller had advised her to take a strategic pause at that stage, to amplify the point regarding Kathy’s disappearance being just one of many mis-pers that the Manchester officers were investigating.

  “We would not usually call a press conference for a missing person enquiry when the case is still as young as this particular one, and when the missing person is as independent and capable as Kathy Hopkirk. However, there are certain sections of the press reporting that we are not trying very hard to find her. This is simply not true. We are treating Kathy’s disappearance just as thoroughly as we are all of the other cases. This would be a very good opportunity to remind the press, and the public, that almost twenty per-cent of police time is spent working on missing persons investigations, and as a result of this fact, we know what we are doing. Now, I am afraid that I do not have any further information about this particular case, but as you will be aware, the Serious Crimes Investigation Unit very rarely get involved in missing persons enquiries. However, the Metropolitan Police have requested that the SCIU ensure that this enquiry is run as efficiently as possible. We would like to echo the message from our colleagues in London, and appeal for any information regarding Kathy’s whereabouts. If you have seen Kathy in the past few days, we really want to speak to you. Somebody out there knows where Kathy is, and I am appealing to that person to get in touch. Finally, I am appealing directly to you Kathy. If you can see this transmission, or read these words, please get in touch and let us know that you’re okay. Our number is on the tablecloth there, just below my glass of water. We will not be providing a running commentary on this enquiry. That’s all the information that I have to reveal today, but I am happy to answer any questions you may have.”

  Jo took another sip of the water and looked around the room as the journalists and news presenters all started shouting their questions. It was impossible to pick out a single question from the torrent of noise.

  “One at a time…” said Jo without much enthusiasm.

  “Where was Kathy last seen after she left The Midland?”

  “We’re reviewing CCTV but we know that she was waiting for a tram. When the tram arrived at Saint Peter’s Square tram-stop, Kathy disappeared. We are trying to ascertain whether she boarded the tram, or walked away from the location. The CCTV shot we have was obscured by the arrival of the tram, but we have plenty of other cameras to check in the area, and we have a time frame and a general grid location so we are confident that this detail will soon become much clearer.”

  “So you don’t really have any idea where she headed after the tram stop?”
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  “That’s what I just said, yes.”

  “Bearing in mind that Kathy is such a divisive character, is the fact that she upsets a lot of people playing a part in the enquiry?”

  “Well, that’s such a loaded question, I don’t really know why you are asking it. But as with all missing person’s enquiries, we are looking into every aspect of Kathy’s life, and especially her links up here in Manchester.”

  “Has there been any activity online or on mobile phone by Kathy, since Thursday night?”

  “Again, this is a major line of enquiry, and this is something that I am unable to discuss at this moment in time.”

  “Well, is that a yes or a no?”

  “I’ve just said to you, I’m unable to discuss that at this stage.”

  “So you don’t know?”

  “Any other questions?”

  “Are the Twitter Trolls that have been making death threats to Kathy for many years being investigated at this time?”

  “We have specially trained officers reviewing this kind of activity, but as I have already said, this is very early in this investigation so that kind of matter will be looked at much more seriously if this case escalates.”

  “What will happen to Kathy if this is a hoax?”

  “We are not treating this as a hoax, and I’m not in a position to answer that question as it is not relevant to the enquiry.”

  “Why is DCI Miller not here holding this press conference?”

  “Why, what’s wrong with me?” Jo’s cocky retort received a laugh from many of the reporters in the hall.

  “Nothing, but, with such a major investigation, I’m wondering why Miller isn’t here?”

  “The gaffer is busy, working on this, and several other investigations – and our Detective Inspector is currently in London, interviewing key witnesses.”

  “That doesn’t sound like the normal level of service. Are you sure this is being treated like any other missing persons enquiry?”

  “Well, I’m not sure how to demonstrate that we are taking it seriously, and not, as some of you guys have suggested “ignoring it” so I can’t really answer that. Last question please now as I have to get back upstairs and get on with my work.”