The Raven Series 2

by J. L. Weil

  I hoped so. I really hoped. “Maybe.”

  “You can make him come back, you know,” Parker said. “If you really wanted to. You could call him home. Isn’t that what you do? A banshee and all.”

  “Holy shit, Parker. You’re a genius. Why didn’t I think of that?”

  “Because, I’m the genius,” he so wisely reminded me.

  However, the more I thought on it, the less appealing the idea became. Forcing Zane back wasn’t going to make him want me. It wasn’t going to make him marry me. If anything, it would only piss him off, push him further away.

  Dammit.

  I filtered through a rack of frilly dresses, my mind really not into the task. It was hard to concentrate, especially with Parker and Zoe laughing and touching each other. What was going on there? They were flirting. Gah! I thought my eyeballs were going to burst into flames.

  “Can we focus?” I snapped.

  Zoe dropped her hand from Parker’s forearm. “How about this?” she asked, pulling a dress from the rack.

  “That’s nice,” I replied without looking at the dress.

  “Really, Piper? It’s pink,” Parker stated, giving me a funny glance.

  “Huh.” My gaze lifted and I was horrified. “I hope that’s your idea of a twisted joke.”

  “Girl, turn that frown upside down. He’ll be back,” she whispered, draping an arm around my shoulders.

  In the end, I let Zoe pick a simple little black dress. It was short enough to raise a few eyebrows but ensured all my lady bits were covered.

  Chapter 22

  As soon as the door was shut, I turned on Parker. “What the heck was that?”

  Confusion etched the lines of his face. “You’re going to have to elaborate. We’re close, but I can’t read your mind.”

  “You and Zoe,” I exploded, connecting the dots for his hormone-clogged brain. “I saw you together.”

  “And…?” he prompted, completely missing the insinuation.

  I rolled my eyes. “And you we’re flirting with her. Are you into her?”

  He brushed past me shaking his head as if he was disgusted I cared. “What’s it to you?”

  My hand touched his shoulder. “Parker, she’s a death reaper.”

  He looked up at me, eyes unflinching. There was a hardness I wasn’t used to seeing in his hazel eyes. “So? What does that have to do with anything?”

  Was he kidding me? Was I the only person who saw a problem with that? “For someone who is so smart, you’re acting like an idiot.”

  “Oooh, it’s okay for you to marry a reaper, but I can’t hang out with one?”

  “Yes! I’m a reaper.”

  Stunned, he stared at me. “What kind of hypocritical shitnit is that? I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

  Neither did I. I paused, exhaling. My intent hadn’t been to fight with Parker, but that was exactly where this was leading. I needed to tone it down. “Look, I know things have changed, that I’ve changed, but one thing that hasn’t is how much I care about you. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

  “It’s a bit too late to worry about me getting hurt,” he snapped.

  Right. I’d hurt him, although it was the last thing I’d ever wanted to do. And not to mention, he had died. “I never meant to hurt you.”

  His fingers dug into his hair. “I know. And I do appreciate you looking out for me.”

  “But,” I inserted.

  Parker looked away, focusing on the blank spot over my head. “I’m trying to find a way to get over you. I’ve accepted that we’ll only be friends, the best of friends, and I’m okay with that. But I need to move forward, in my own way. And Zoe, she dulls the ache. When I’m with her, I don’t dwell on how much I miss you.”

  I swallowed and sunk into the nearest chair. “God, I make a mess of everything.”

  He took a seat across from me. The floral pattern of the furniture looked too feminine and delicate for a guy to be comfortable sitting on. “If we didn’t make mistakes, we wouldn’t learn from them.”

  “I’m not sure what I’ve learned, other than everyone I care about leaves me.”

  “It might feel that way, but it’s not true. I’m still here, and so are TJ and your dad.”

  I made a funny noise in the back of my throat. My dad. He wasn’t up there on the list of people who truly cared about me. I’m sure he did in his own way, but since Mom died, the man simply had given up on life. The mention of Dad made me think of TJ. I made a mental note to text him later to see how he was faring. I’d been a rotten sister as of late.

  “I know that look on your face,” Parker said. “You can stop blaming yourself. You did the right thing, sending TJ away. The farther he is from this, the better. Zoe told me he doesn’t have any reaper in him.”

  My chest tightened. “I thought you weren’t a mind reader.”

  He grinned. “As much as I would like superpowers, it doesn’t take magic to decipher your expressions. You care too much; that isn’t a bad thing.”

  “It’s not safe here, you know.” I should send Parker away, but I was selfish. Now that he knew everything, I wanted him here. He was comforting and familiar. It was like having a piece of home with me.

  Hard lines formed across his forehead. “Nowhere is safe. Now that I can see.”

  “Did Zoe explain that as well?” It appeared Zoe’s mouth had been doing a lot of flapping. I wasn’t sure how it made me feel. At first, I’d wanted to involve Parker as little as possible, but maybe educating him was the best defense. The more he knew, the better chance he had at survival. Either way, it was a moot point, because I needed him—more now than ever.

  A slow grin pulled at his lips. “She likes to talk.”

  “Uh-huh. You’re telling me.” I tilted my head up, smiling. “You really like her, don’t you?” I could see it in his eyes when he mentioned her name. They lit up and warmed. He’d once looked at me like that.

  He shrugged. “Yeah, I think I do.”

  “Just do me a favor. Don’t get hurt.” Like I did, I silently added.

  “So, you’re cool with it?”

  “I will be,” I promised, smiling.

  His eyes skated over the room and his silly smirk faded. “What room is this?”

  “I have no idea. I’m not sure I’ve even been in here.” For good reason. It was fugly.

  He pushed his wire-rimmed glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Do us all a favor, would ya? Remove every piece of furniture in this place. It needs to be burned.”

  I laughed. “I couldn’t agree more.” It never occurred to me to redecorate any of the rooms, but Raven Manor was mine now. I could do what I liked with it. Rose and I had very different tastes. Maybe if I made this place homier and less cold, it would feel more like a home—more like mine.

  It got me thinking.

  “Parker, you really are a genius.”

  “Why is that so hard for everyone to believe?”

  “It’s not. Sometimes you surprise me, is all.”

  His phone dinged and that ridiculous gleam lit up his eyes, the one I used to find adorable. I could guess who was on the other end. “Hey,” he answered, standing up. And just like that I was no longer the most important person in the room.

  I listened to him jabber and laugh as he walked up the winding stairs, out of earshot. I wanted to be happy for him. I really did, but his fresh excitement only reminded me how lonely and sad I was.

  I was tired of the pain. My mom. Rose. And now Zane. When would it end? If I thought too hard about the hurt, the tears would start falling again. I needed a distraction.

  In my room, I grabbed my sketch pad, hoping to ease the pressure in my chest. The black fine-tipped marker was like an old friend in my hand. Contouring over the paper in long strokes, I outlined the image of a girl in a fighter stance, a fiery blade in each hand, sweeping across the page. I knew she was me.

  I stared at the paper, and before I could stop myself, I was flipping through my previous
drawings. Zane’s profile, his eyes, and his lips filled the pages. How many different ways had I drawn him? I was torturing myself. I didn’t know why I was putting myself through the agony. The truth was hard to face.

  He wasn’t coming back.

  As the days passed, that sinking reality tore me up inside. It was a stab in the gut, seeing the sharp angles of his face staring back at me. His fierceness captured with ink and paper, the piercing blue of his eyes looking into my soul.

  Slamming the book closed, I tossed it on the nightstand and rolled over on the bed. I clutched my pillow tightly and closed my eyes. How had my life gotten so tangled up? If I’d known saying I loved him would send him running for the hills, I would have kept my mouth shut. Hindsight could be a cruel thing.

  I opened my eyes and focused on a shadow in the corner. What the? I swore I could see his face. Zane. He moved within the dark spots of my room, his body disappearing, then reappearing and disappearing again. I could only watch, enthralled by him.

  My heart kick-started in my chest, thumping so loudly I swore the dead could hear it. Staying as still as possible, I was afraid to breathe. He might suddenly leave, and that was a nightmare in itself.

  I blinked.

  And in the shadows, there was no one.

  I rolled over on my side and sighed. He invaded my dreams, my thoughts, and now I was seeing him in the shadows. The urge to whisper his name rose up in me, swiftly and vigorously, but I buried it, biting my lip until the metallic taste of my own blood hit my tongue. It helped refocus the internal pain to physical pain…for the moment.

  ***

  “Cheer up. You look like your puppy just died,” Zoe said. She was sitting across from me on the couch. We were facing each other with our legs crossed.

  I held an iced glass of sweet tea she’d made us between my hands, the frost on the glass not bothering me. “How come the cold doesn’t seem to affect me?” I asked, staring at my hands.

  “Reapers are naturally cooler. Our blood runs degrees lower than humans. Therefore, your tolerance to the cold is higher.”

  I squeezed the glass. “I never noticed before, but now, I can feel the chill in my veins. It’s not uncomfortable, just that my awareness is sharper.”

  She nodded. “The more you use your core powers, the stronger your senses will become.”

  “That’s weird.”

  Her giggle was husky. For someone who was so dainty, she had this envious sexy voice. Her accent helped. “Maybe for you. I can’t imagine having human senses. I’d feel so…naked.”

  “What other changes can I expect?” I asked.

  A twinkle flickered in her eyes. “Fun stuff, like sharper perception, heightened spirit detection, and fiercer emotions. The enhancement can differ per reaper.”

  “Emotions?” That one surprised me.

  “A general misconception about reapers is we are uncaring. Total bullshit. I often sympathize with my victims. It depends on the situation. We’re generally completely neutral beings. Hell. Heaven. Purgatory. It doesn’t matter to me, as long as the natural order of life and death stays intact. This is our sole purpose.”

  I was going to regret asking, but my inquiring mind had to know. “What happens if the natural order is disrupted? Besides chaos?”

  Her voice went flat. “Utter darkness.”

  “Oh, goodie,” I said drily. “Do you mean literal darkness?”

  Zoe’s poetic lips tipped down at the corners. “If we don’t hold up our end of the bargain, delivering souls to the afterlife, the whole system falls apart. And Earth goes black.”

  Nausea roiled inside me. “Why would anyone want that? It doesn’t make sense to me.”

  “Within the darkness comes madness. Once it gets its claws in you, its appetite for power is insatiable. Reapers can go dark. Ferrying a living soul to the afterlife is against the rules. If you cross those lines, there’s no turning back. There are no second chances. That’s where you come in.”

  It all came back to power. “I get to banish the bad boys.”

  “It’s your will. You call us. We don’t call you.”

  My fingers fiddled with the silver chain dangling from my neck. “Can I ask you something?”

  She didn’t miss a beat in her quick response. “I still haven’t heard from Zane.” Remorse colored her tone.

  I smiled weakly. “Actually, I have a different question for once.”

  She unfolded her legs on the couch. “Shoot.”

  “Zander told me I’m expected to marry a pureblood.”

  Her long, wavy black hair streamed behind her. “That’s right. To keep the raven line from being diluted.”

  “I should probably know this, but pureblood is someone whose parents are both reapers, right?” I asked.

  “Fundamentally, yes.”

  “If that is the case, why must I marry Zander? No offense. Your brother is great. I just always thought it would be my choice. I know he is the heir to the Black Crows, but as long as they were a pure reaper…”

  Her blue eyes brightened. “What you’re really asking is, why Zander and not Zane.”

  If you stripped it down to the basic, more or less. “Is it so terrible to want to be with someone you love?”

  Leaning forward, she folded her slender arms. “Depends on who you ask. What you have with Zane only happens once in a lifetime. For many of us, we never find it. I’m so jealous, and I can’t understand how my brother can walk away from you.”

  “Well, he did,” I said, examining strands of my hair. A reaper’s lifetime went beyond that of a human’s, so I understood the importance of the connection I had with Zane.

  “You need to know that he has his reasons. I might not agree with them, but I understand.”

  “Bullshit,” I hissed. “What could possibly justify hurting someone you swore to protect?”

  Sympathy pooled in her eyes. “It’s more complicated than that.”

  “When isn’t it?” My chin went up a notch as I steeled myself against the instant hurt of rejection. “Help me understand, because I don’t get anything your brother does.”

  She stared at me. “He is going to kill me if I tell you.”

  I could see her struggling with the decision. Whatever she knew, it was big. But I wasn’t taking no for an answer. “I’m going to kill you if you don’t.”

  Her lips pursed, and for a few seconds, I thought she was going to refuse, but then in an even tone, she said, “Zane isn’t a pureblood.”

  I slid her a holy-shit-on-a-stick look. “What? How can that be?”

  She wrung her fingers. “He’s my half-brother. We don’t have the same mum.”

  My eyes popped. “What do you mean Zane has a different mother.” I was having a hard time comprehending what she was telling me. “How is that possible?”

  She shrugged her dainty shoulders. “The usual. My dad slept with another woman. A human. Zane is only half reaper.”

  The bombshells just kept on rolling, and I was beginning to understand the jerk’s thought process, but I didn’t want to believe it. Because believing Zane wasn’t pure crushed all my dreams. It destroyed my future, what I wanted. “If he is only part reaper, how is he so powerful?” He might be a d-bag, but he was a douchebag who could kick some serious ass.

  “By thinking he has something to prove. He works twice as hard as the rest of us, pushing himself past feasible limits. Zane doesn’t just want to be the best; he is the best.”

  Just like him to see being half human as a shortcoming. My shoulders slumped. “So if your dad had an affair with a human, and you, Zach, and Zander are pure, who is your mom?”

  Confusion etched her willowy brows. “What do you mean? You know my mum.”

  I bit my chipped fingernails, thinking. “I thought your mom was human.”

  A light dawned in her eyes. “Mum is human now, but she wasn’t always.”

  The webs kept spinning. I was going to need her to draw me a family tree. “If she used to be a
reaper, what happened?”

  “You’re going to love this. She was a hawk, until Rose stripped her of her powers.”

  I choked. And the plot thickens. “Why would Rose do that?”

  “She was the White Raven. Rose didn’t need a reason, but in this particular situation, she did have one.”

  My mind immediately jumped to the conclusion that it had something to do with her soul symmetry with Death. Had Rose gotten jealous and, in her rage, stripped Ivy of her reaper wings? I could see myself doing something like that, but not Rose. She had too much decorum and rigidness.

  “I don’t know all the deets, as Zach and I were babies,” she continued. I was on the edge of my seat. “But word around town is my mum killed Zane’s mum.”

  I gasped and almost fell over the edge of the couch. “Without an order?” I guessed.

  She nodded. “Rose took her powers but spared her soul.”

  I wrapped my arms around my waist to try to suppress the shudder. “And yet your mom raised Zane as one of her own?”

  “It might seem unconventional and a bit unethical, but I think once the guilt at what she had done finally set in, she had hoped in some small way to make amends. Truthfully, he was impossible to not love. He was only two at the time and a perfect little boy. Never has Mum treated him differently. None of us have. Zane has only been but a brother to me.”

  I couldn’t help but feel for him. For his loss. The last thing I wanted was to empathize with the jerk. I was still hurting. Why hadn’t he told me? It might have saved me some tears. “That is some heavy shit, Zoe.” My fingers dashed through my hair as I swallowed the reality.

  Zane wasn’t a pureblood.

  And that meant I couldn’t marry him. Why did I have to fall in love with someone I could never have?

  With a snap of a finger, the pain made way for anger.

  I was pissed.

  At Zane. At my mom. At Rose. At Death. At the universe.

  Chapter 23

  Death paid me a visit.

  For anyone else, it would be a grave sign to see Death at your doorstep. For me, it was a reminder of my responsibilities.