The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress

by Stein, Gertrude

  So then when some one has in her or in him separate pieces active of the one kind of being in them and not adjusted so that one is dominating or when as in the last one I was describing some one has all the pieces possible of one kind of being equally active in him such a one can never really come to a completely self-conscious being, such a one may be successful in living but such a one never has in him a unified being, mostly such a one has not in him any struggling of the pieces with each other in him. Of this last I am not yet absolutely certain.

  The meaning of the being in this last one came to some who had often at moments thought about this one. Mostly no one puzzled about this one, failing in living in this one, though succeeding in living could have come to this one to every one, had something about it curiously inevitably to any one who ever came to know this one, and so as I was saying mostly no one really puzzled about this one. One day some were thinking about the queer history of this one and they began to think about a specific case in which this one had not finished something and then it came to be clear to them for they realised then that this one always was planning and criticising his complete work with the chunks of slow solid central intelligence and feeling in this one and always this one was working with the surface of this one and this one was not self-conscious ever to criticise his way of working, only to criticise the specific result he had been achieving and so this one always had to be beginning again and this was then the history of this one. Sometime perhaps there will be written a complete history of this one, sometime perhaps there will be written a complete history of every one.

  Now to give one little additional example. There will be very little telling about this one. This one was different from the two last ones I have been describing, this one had a mixing of natures in him and very little in him of each of the kind of natures in him. There was as a bottom being in him a kind of resisting being. This one had as bottom being rather turgid resisting being. This one had not much bottom being in him, not much of this rather turgid resisting being in him. This one had such a kind of bottom being in him, enough of it in him to be always evident in him to any one really looking at him. This one had other natures mixed up in him with this bottom nature of him in him. There was then not so very much bottom nature in him, all that there was of it was of this quite turgid between sodden resisting and engulfing resisting being. There was enough of this in him as a bottom nature to him so that every one really looking hard at him knew this in him. It was in this way, by looking at him and so understanding, that one knowing this one knew the bottom nature there in this one.

  There were then other natures in this one. There was in this one mixed up with the bottom nature in this one two other kinds of natures in this one, one a kind of resisting being, one a kind of attacking being. The kind of resisting being that was in him was of the kind that I was describing in the first of these six that I am now finishing. It was a kind of smooth dark very thick engulfing being that has with it as a way of being, much complete vanity and separation from contact with any one and much needing of indolence and elegance and luxury to make life a pleasant thing for such a one, elegance in luxury is a need for such a one. The kind of attacking being there was in this one was of the kind that I have been just describing in the one before the last one I have been describing. This being gave to this one I am now describing an affection for all beauty in living and in being, it gave to this one that in the beginning of his conscious living this one had embraced as a conviction the need of steady, unexalted, slightly ambitious working.

  This one having the rationalising mind of the kind of attacking being that was one of the natures in him this one then knew very early in his living that loving a beautiful life and needing elegant luxury for pleasant living and yielding to these things in him would soon lead him to be dominated by the bottom being of him, the sodden resisting mixed with engulfing resisting bottom being in him and this would lead him so that sooner or later the beautiful life would be turned by him into an ugly one. This one dimly then knew this in him, this one as I was saying had mixed up in him the kind of attacking being that has it to be rationally minded and ambitious of succeeding in living and having a power of it making itself into a life-long resolution and a carrying of it out completely during a whole living as if it were the natural way of being in him, an instinctive being in him, the kind of living best suited to the purposes rationally embraced by such a one. This one then that I am describing knew that steady unexalted working which was not to this one the whole natural way of being was the only way of living for this one to keep this one from making ugly, beautiful elegant luxurious being that was in him and that in this working this one must not wait for the stimulation of experiencing, working must go on in him always and experiencing and needing elegant luxury and the bottom being in him must just be there acting while always this one was working, always this one was succeeding fairly well in living. Perhaps later this one would not succeed so well in living, perhaps this one would be more and more worn out with his working. Perhaps this is what would happen to such a one. This is a description of one, one who had it in him to not be able to have a beautiful elegant luxurious life in living because then later the bottom being in this one would make the beautiful life an ugly one. This one then lived by energised conviction in the attacking kind of being there was in him mixed with the other being in him. This one then was one that one could know the bottom being of him by looking at him, mostly in his living he was working by energised conviction, sometimes he would be worn out and then he would be not succeeding very well in living but the balance of natures in him would be in him as it had been always in his living. There was not then in this one any active struggle of the natures in him, but keeping them so balanced in him although it was not an effort in him for energised vocation of working was as naturally active as all the other kinds of being that were in him, that being the peculiarity of the type of attacking being that this one had in him, the keeping them so balanced in him was wearing, not to him, for it was not an effort in him, but was wearing to his whole being, his whole being would wear itself out by excessive spontaneous equilibration and so this one more and more then would be not successful in living but always up to the ending of the acting living in this one the equilibration of natures in him would be what I have been describing. Here ends then the describing of the learning of the natures in the being of six kinds in men and women.

  Now then to begin again the history of Martha Hersland and of every one she ever knew in living. Always there will be here writing a description of all the kinds of ways there can be seen to be kinds of men and women. There will be here then written the complete history of every one Martha Hersland ever came to know in her living, the fundamental character of every one, the bottom natures in them, the other natures in them, the mixtures in them, the strength and weakness of everything they have inside them.

  Now then to begin again with a few men and women and now to begin those of them as beginning. Now to begin again the history of Martha Hersland, to give a history of her as beginning. Then to go on with the history of Martha Hersland and of every one she ever came to know in her living. Now to begin with the beginning of the living of Martha Hersland. Now to begin the description of the being in Martha Hersland in her beginning.

  Sometime there will be a complete telling of all young living, feeling, talking, thinking, being. Some have their real being to themselves in young living, some do not have it then to themselves in them. Later there will be a description of all the kinds of ways there are of feeling themselves in young being.

  This is now some description of being, of men and women in their beginning, when they are children, they have then ways of being resembling to each other that some of them lose in their later living, there will be now some description of Martha Hersland in her beginning.

  Soon now there will be much description of the being in men and women when they are young, when they are children, when they are babies, when they are g
rowing into young men and young women, there will be then soon much description of the being coming out of them then as repeating, then when they are beginning, when they are babies and children and then growing into men and women.

  This will soon be a description of many men and women in beginning, the being young in them, the being children.

  This is now a beginning of a description of the being in Martha Hersland as beginning.

  In some the nature in them is clearer when they are very young, in some when they are young, in some when they are not so young, in some when they are old ones. Always in each one it is there repeating, sometime some one knows it in each one, sometime some one will know it in every one that one is ever knowing.

  Sometime there will be a history of all young living, feeling, talking, thinking, being. Some have their real being in young living, some do not have it then in them. Later there will be a history of all of them.

  One little boy does something to another little boy who does not like it, he shows no sign of reacting to it the little boy who does not like it. He seems not to know and then not to remember to be angry with it, his reaction is so slow to it. Then he hits out and often the first little boy is surprised at it. This often happens when one little boy does something to another little boy who does not like it.

  This is the way many little boys do it and they are of many kinds the little boys who do this when some other little boy, some little girl, some one does something and they do not like it.

  This is then the way many little boys do it, this is the way that some little girls do it.

  One little girl, one little boy, some one, many do something to a little girl who does not like it, she shows just then no sign of reacting to it, the little girl who does not like it. She is not angry, she seems not to remember then to be angry, her reaction is not there then to it. Then she does something violent to show it and often then the one that did something to that little girl is surprised at it, that one then has forgotten all about it. This very often happens when a little girl, when a little boy, when some one does something to a little girl who does not like it.

  This is then the way many little boys and little girls do something when some one does something and they do not like it. They are of many kinds the little boys and little girls who do something in this way when some one has done something and they have not liked it. Some women and some men do this way in their later living, many little boys and many little girls do this way when they are very little ones and then later they change, it changes in them the way to do it, the way to act to any one who does something and they do not like it. Some have their real being in young living, some do not have it then in them. Now there will be a description of some who have and some who have not their real being in young living.

  There are many then little boys and little girls who have the way of acting I have been just describing when some one does something to them and these then do not like this thing that one has been doing, has done to them.

  As I was saying some one does something to some little one who does not like it, the little one then shows no sign of reacting to this thing, the little one that does not like it. The little one shows then no feeling, the little one then is not remembering, the little one then does some violent thing to the one that has done the thing the little one was not liking. The other one then has forgotten and is surprised at the violent action of the little one. This often happens when one little one, when some one, does something to a little one and that little one does not like that thing.

  As I was saying this is often happening. As I was saying there are many little ones who have this way of acting when any one has done something they have not been liking.

  As I was saying there are many kinds of little ones who have this kind of way of acting when some one had done something they were not then liking. This is then a very common way of acting. There are then many little ones who have this way of acting when some one has done something they were not liking.

  So then there are many kinds who can have this way of acting when they are little ones, many kinds of men and women.

  As I was saying some have their real being in young living, some do not have it then in them. As I was saying in some the nature in them is clearer when they are very young, in some when they are young, in some when they are not so young, in some when they are older or ending. Always in each one it is there and repeating.

  As I was saying this way of acting that I have been just describing can be in various kinds of men and women when they are little ones, when they are in beginning. There are very many little ones that have such a way of acting when some one has been doing something they have not been liking. In some it is from the being in them, in some it is from being being in beginning then in them.

  Some have their real being showing in young living, some do not have it showing very clearly in them then. Always in each one it is then there repeating. Always in every one sometime it is clear to some one.

  There are then many kinds of men and women who have the kind of way of acting I have been just describing, when they are little ones. Some of such of them have attacking being in them as bottom being in them, some of such of them have resisting being in them as their natural way of fighting. This is not very clear then from the action in them when some one has done something they have not been liking. There must be always a description of every way some one can think of men and women, in their beginning, in their middle living, in their ending. There must be always an expression of every way some one can feel kinds in men and women in their beginning, in their middle living, in their ending. Every one has their own way of seeing every one they come to know in their living. Always then all this makes a completed history of every one.

  Every one then has their own way of seeing every one, every one has some that are more complicated to them than other ones. To some every one is or is not a man or woman, in their beginning, in their middle living, in their ending, like every other one. Some say of some one they are seeing, he is like every other one, some have a very different feeling seeing this one, every one has some way of making kinds in men and women, every one finds some one some time confusing, not easy to be certain of the kind that one is then, mostly every one sometime comes to a decision about each one, some come very nearly to never deciding about some one, some find it harder to decide about children what kind of being they have in them, some about men, some about women, some about many, some about almost every one, some about almost no one.

  There are then many ways of feeling, of thinking men and women in their beginning, in their middle living, in their ending. Some are very confusing to some, others very confusing to others, some because of their being, some because of their training, some because of their ambition, some because of the activity some because of the quietness in them, some because of the nature in them being in beginning, some because of the nature in them being complete in them, some because of the nature in them being coming to an ending.

  Each one sometime is a whole one, in them. Each one sometime is a whole one, to some one, to themselves inside them, to some one knowing them, sometime in their living. This coming together of them to be one inside them, in some comes to be in them in the beginning of their living, in some in the middle of their living, in some at the ending of their living, they come together inside them to be a whole one in them, sometime, mostly every one. Some come together to be one in them in different kinds of ways in different times in living, some seem to come together and are not really together then, some really come together as one and come together really sometime as another whole one inside them, mostly when some one has come together to some one it makes that one more or less interesting than that one was before to the one knowing that one. To some then the one that has come together to be a whole by reason of having come together is then no longer interesting, the mystery of that one is then ended to the one knowing that one as a whole one, this is not very uncommon.

  Some ar
e so uncertain in their kind of them, the kind that have the being that is them not very strongly in them, or else very thinly spread out in them, or rather vacant in them, or very mixed up in them, there are many that almost never really are a whole one inside them or are a whole one that is almost without form and substance in them and these then when one knows this of them, these who then never come really to be a whole one to any one, to themselves inside them, these then have not any interest to any one, as not being a whole one in them. Mostly those having it as possible to be really a whole one are interesting until they come together inside them to themselves or to some one, mostly after that they are to many that know them less interesting; many after that coming together are more interesting to those that knew them, mostly all of them those becoming then more, those becoming then less interesting, in short mostly all men and women coming to be a whole one inside them and to those that know them are more simply repeating themselves to every one.

  Some as I was saying are more whole ones in them when they are little ones some when they are young ones, when they are beginning their living, than they are any other time in their living. Some and many men and women are of this kind of them are more entirely whole ones in them and to every one in their middle living. Some in the ending of their being are really whole ones to themselves and to others for the first time in their living.

  This coming together in them to be a whole one is a strange thing in men and women. Sometimes some one is very interesting to some one, very, very interesting to some one and then that one comes together to be a whole one and then that one is not any more, at all, interesting to the one knowing that one, that one then is shrunken by being a whole one, some have not that happen to them by being a whole one, some are richer then, all are solider then to those knowing them when they come together inside them. It is very strange this coming together to be a whole one. As I was saying some come together as different whole ones in different times in their living, some seem to come together inside them but this is not real in them, some by their thinking, by their living come to come together as a richer whole one than could have been expected from them, often there is some little thing in some one those knowing that one are hardly noticing and that keeps that one from coming together until that one in his being has come to be richer than any one knowing that one, than that one ever expected to be in his being, sometimes some one has something in them that seems not important being in them and that keeps them open to growing and that one comes together then later as a richer whole one than any one knowing that one thought ever to find that one, and then there are very many of them that lose rich being with losing their younger living, there are many that lose it with losing a certain kind of stimulation, there are many that have a covering of passion, of emotion, of quick or slow reaction to everything, that covers them, and sometime to some one they come together to be a whole one without that covering, sometimes sometime to every one, inside them they come together to be a whole one without any one then feeling the covering on them which is not lively then in its active being and such a one may then be very disappointing, such a one is a dry whole one when every one knowing that one felt that one a rich whole until that one came together as a dry whole one. And so on and so on, the ways of coming together are many and interesting, more and more to every one, every one sometimes is a whole mostly every one sometime comes together in them as a whole one. Some as I was saying almost never come together in them as a whole one, some of such a kind of them are then not any longer interesting when it is almost certain of them that they will not come together in them ever to be a whole one inside them, some of such of them keep on being tantalising because they come so nearly again and again to be whole ones inside them.