Kinetic Energy

by Hayley Faiman

  I have a feeling that this warmer weather won’t hold up too long. I’ve never experienced a winter with snow before, and I’m extremely nervous, especially since Jessa is all worried about a new winter coat. I own like two hoodies and a jean jacket, I don’t think I’ve ever even looked at coats.

  A warm hand slides around my waist, pressing against my belly and soft lips caress my neck. I try not to melt immediately. I try and I fail. Lifting my arm, I wrap it around the back of Thomas’ neck. His hair is soft to the touch and I let out a moan when his tongue caresses my skin. “I missed you,” he admits.

  I shiver, pressing my back against his chest as I turn my head slightly to the side. “I missed you, too,” I admit.

  Thomas takes a step back from me and takes my hand with his, lacing our fingers together. I’ve been feeling a little, out of sorts since our conversation Thursday evening. He told me that it wasn’t possible for me to be with him, and it confused me. I don’t always understand why he says certain things, or why he claimed we couldn’t see each other this weekend, and yet, here he is.

  Silently, we walk toward his car and he guides me inside, closing the door behind me, then he jogs around and slides into the driver’s seat. “Where are we going?” I ask as he eases the car into traffic.

  He glances over at me for just a brief moment before he speaks. “The sunken gardens. I thought we could spend the day outside, together,” he shrugs.

  I don’t know what these gardens are, but I’m not really an outdoorsy kind of girl, so I hope that I’m not miserable. I’ll fake being happy even if I’m not though, for Thomas. In all honesty, I would just go and sit on a park bench if it meant that I could sit next to him.

  The rest of our ride is in silence and I don’t mind a single bit. Thomas takes my hand in his as we drive and that’s all the assurance I need that we’re good—we’re okay.

  When we arrive, I’m surprised by how colorful everything is around us. Thomas helps me out of the car and he glances at my shoes before lifting his blue eyes to meet mine. “Are you going to be able to walk in those? I should have told you to wear tennis shoes,” he murmurs, wrapping his hand around the back of his neck.

  “I don’t own tennis shoes,” I admit with a smirk.

  Thomas lifts his eyes to meet mine and he lifts his lips in a smile of his own as he shakes his head. “Obviously you’re not a country girl,” he chuckles. Slipping his arm around my waist, he presses his palm against my lower back and I arch myself closer to him.

  “I was born on the beach, I’m either barefoot, in sandals, or high heels, nothing else,” I shrug.

  Thomas runs his nose alongside mine, inhaling deeply, smelling me and then letting out a low moan. “I’ve fucking missed you, Ines,” he admits.

  Lifting my arms, I wrap them around his shoulders and lean in a bit closer, pressing my mouth to his. “I’ve more than missed you,” I breathe.

  “If we don’t start walking in this garden, I’m going to fuck you against my car for the world to see,” he growls.

  I let out a laugh, giving him a quick kiss and then taking a step back. He releases his hold on me and laces his fingers with mine. Together, we walk toward this colorful garden. I’m thankful when there are concrete type paths to stay on, which cuts out the fear that my wedges will be sinking into the wet grass.

  Thomas and I walk around, almost in silence for the next hour. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me to his side not long into our walk, and we stay that way the entire time. I rest my head against him and just enjoy the way it feels to have his arm around me.

  I wish we could stay like this always.

  I wish we didn’t have to pretend, or hide, that we could be a regular couple.

  I wish he would tell me what exactly is going through his head.

  Something is bothering him, I can tell. His demeanor, his mood has shifted since our moment in his office last week. There is something going on with him, something I’m afraid to push. Maybe if I stay in denial, whatever it is won’t hurt me.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  THOMAS

  After dropping Ines off at the café, I head home. I’ve been gone for the past five hours. Time flies when I’m with Ines, and yet, I want it to stand still. I wish that I didn’t have to drop her off. I wanted nothing more than to bring her home and show her just how much I’ve missed her. However, Danielle is still at the house, at least until tomorrow. She’s probably angry with me for taking off this morning, however, I can’t find the wherewithal to give much of a shit.

  I’ve told Danny how I feel, and I meant it. Our marriage is nothing but words on a piece of paper at this point. I want to be finished with it once and for all. I want to give Ines everything in life that she deserves, and that starts with honesty. I refuse to abandon her, not when I’ve just found her and I’m enjoying everything there is about her.

  Walking into the house, I’m surprised to find Danielle in the kitchen again. I throw my keys down on the bar top and stand at the entrance, waiting for her to speak. I’m sure she has plenty to say to me, especially with how I left things last night and then disappeared this morning and all day today.

  Slowly, she turns around to face me. I glance at her hand and notice she’s got a full glass of red wine. Another glance around, and I see the open bottle is on the table, and with the light shining on it, I can tell that it’s empty. Wonderful, she’s fucking drunk. This should be pleasant.

  “You were with one of your young whores, I’m assuming?” she slurs. Her eyes darting all over the place as if they’re unable to focus on anything at all, especially me.

  Yep. She’s trashed. I shake my head refusing to dignify her question with an answer. She knows what I want, and that is a divorce. Nothing but a divorce, no money, no stuff… just an end to this dead marriage.

  “I’ll grant you your divorce,” she announces. I glance up at her in surprise, but the evil smile that’s playing on her lips tells me that she’s not going to do this easily. “After my promotion. You play the devoted husband, and I’ll do it no problem.”

  I don’t want to play the devoted anything with Danielle. However, it would make shit easy. “How long?” I ask, contemplating everything.

  “The position closes in two months. Then announcements will be made a month later. So, three months.” She shrugs.

  I sink my teeth into my lower lip. In three months it will be Christmas break. I can deal with all of the attorney shit while Ines is home visiting her family, then when the new semester starts, I’ll be officially separated. A few months after that, I’ll be officially divorced.

  My gut warns me, and I know that I should tell her no, that I want the divorce immediately, but something tells me that she would fight to get what she wants and that she would fight dirty to get it too. We’ve never really fought, we avoid, and when I agree to this—she knows that I will—it will be just another avoidance.

  “You don’t do this, and I’ll make your life, and her life hell. I’ll take everything from you, Tommy. Just keep that in mind while you’re contemplating,” she announces.

  “Take all your shit with you when you leave tomorrow, and it’s a deal.”

  Danielle throws back her head with a harsh laugh, then switches her mood and levels her gaze directly at me. “So quick to move your new piece into my bed, Tommy? That’s what all of this is about, right? You’ve met some young thing that you want to replace me with? Just like your father brought in Jade, fifteen years his junior?”

  “What exactly is your fucking problem with Jade?” I demand.

  Danny’s eyes narrow before she speaks. “Jade is a fucking self-righteous bitch. She always thought she knew fucking everything. She’s got both you and your father snowballed into thinking she’s some perfect little woman. She was my best friend, Tommy.” She slams her glass down and the stem shatters, sending the empty glass toppling to the floor.

  “So what if she was?” I ask.

  “Gregory was supp
osed to be mine,” she yells. “He had money, contacts, and he was handsome for his age. He was meant for me, and she whored her way into getting his ring on her finger,” she seethes. Her chest is rising and falling with her heavy breaths.

  I’m standing fucking dumbfounded by her words. “You always wanted my father?” I whisper.

  “I always wanted wealth and power. Do you think that I could ever be happy with some fucking college professor? I anticipated that when Jade spread her legs for your daddy, that you would be the next best thing. I was wrong. You didn’t follow in his footsteps, and you don’t have the sense to be a businessman the way he was. You’re fucking worthless. Why do you think I refuse to have children with you? Granted, it would be easy enough to raise them, since you’re the vagina in the relationship,” she shrugs.

  I’ve always known that Danielle could cut, and cut deeply, with her sharp words but this is something beyond that. I’ve never seen her so fucking angry before. I nod, unwilling to verbally spar with her, in fact, she’s not worth my time.

  I’ll do the three months of devoted husband bullshit she wants me to, but I don’t want to see or speak to her between those visits, or after—ever again. I’m done. Suddenly, I don’t feel the least bit guilty for falling for Ines, or for any of the women I’ve fucked while married to Danny.

  “Get your shit out of my house,” I murmur, keeping my voice low.

  “Or what?” she laughs.

  I shake my head. “This is my house. You don’t live here. I allow you to stay here when you visit. Get your goddamn shit out of it by tomorrow, or the deal is fucking off, and you can figure your promotion out on your own and I won’t care how you try to fuck with me. I’ll fight you every step of the way. Maybe you can just sink to your knees, I’m assuming that’s how you got your others?” I ask, arching a brow.

  She shakes her head, a smirk firmly planted on her lips as if all of this is simply hilarious to her drunken mind. “My ass, Tommy. Men in power, they love to have that control in all things. They love to fuck ass,” she snorts.

  Maybe it’s childish, but I can’t stop myself from saying it anyway. “So do college girls, Danny,” I chuckle.

  Turning from her, I walk away. She’s not worth my time, or my headspace. I make my way to the guest room and lock myself inside. My phone vibrates in my pocket and I pull it out to see that I’ve received a new text message.

  INES: Thank you for the beautiful day.

  My heart races at the sight of her name, and then it doubles when I read her sweet message. Ines isn’t the ball buster, she’s not the climb the corporate ladder type of woman that Danielle has always been.

  When we were young, I admired Danny’s ambition. I thought that a woman who wanted to accomplish so much in life would be a woman who would stay and work at my side. I never imagined she would be so selfish—so self-centered.

  I should have known, the signs were all there, and they were bigger and brighter as the years went by. Her ambition turned ugly, it turned her ugly. Now, I wonder if she was ever really sweet, if she ever really cared? Maybe I am a giant pussy like she claims?

  I didn’t think wanting to be loved was a weak attribute. I didn’t think working hard every day was something to be looked down upon. My father has told me more than once that he’s proud of me, of the man that I’ve become. Maybe he’s not, maybe he says it just to say it? Danielle has me questioning everything now.

  Placing my phone on the nightstand, I decide not to immediately reply to Ines. I’m not in a place to talk to her right now. Instead, I pick up my phone again, and I call my father.

  Jade answers the phone, her sweet voice hums in my ear. At only five years older than me, I’ve never once thought about her being my age, rather she’s been a motherly figure to me all of these years. Now, I feel a little bit differently knowing that she and Danielle used to be best friends.

  “Danielle informed me this evening, that she and you were best friends at one time?” I ask, deciding to forego talking to my father immediately.

  There is some rustling around and then I hear a door click before she speaks. “We were, why?”

  “I’ve asked her for a divorce, Jade. She decided to tell me how she really feels about me,” I admit, pressing my fingertips against my temple.

  Jade lets out a heavy sigh. “There was a time where we were best friends, yes. Danielle was focused, always, and her focus was on rising to the top in her industry. She had put in countless hours, figuring out your father’s routine. There was this little bar that he went to on Friday nights after work, the only night he ever really went out.”

  “Cherries,” I interrupt with a chuckle.

  “That’s the place,” she says and I can tell that she’s smiling as well thinking of the fond memories. “Anyway, I went with her and that’s where I first saw him. I didn’t know he was the man Danielle was after. I’m not sure I would have cared, she wanted him to use him. She wanted his contacts and everything they could offer her. I fell in love the second I saw his blue eyes.”

  Clearing my throat, I close my eyes and let out an exhale. “Am I a pussy, Jade?”

  She begins to giggle, and then it turns into a laugh. “I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you, Thomas.” Although I beg to differ, it sounds like she truly fucking is, laughing right at me. “Danielle has really fucked you up. You’re kind, considerate, and not a fucking dickhead, but that doesn’t mean that you’re a pussy. What you are, is an exact replica of your father.”

  “I’m not,” I grunt.

  “Tommy, you are. You’ve got the wrong woman at your side though. I haven’t said anything, at your father’s urging, but you could do better than her, Thomas. You deserve more out of life than what you have with her.”

  “I agree,” I murmur. “I’ve promised her that I would pretend to be her doting husband while she’s up for some promotion she wants, but after Christmas, I want papers signed and proceedings to begin for the divorce.”

  Jade hums. “Have you finally met someone? Is this why you’re suddenly pushing for it?”

  Clearing my throat, I think about her question, it is the same as Danielle’s. “Am I that transparent?” I ask, thinking aloud.

  “You seem to not want to be in limbo any longer, usually that means something, and your personality is much like your father so, I read between the lines,” she chuckles.

  We talk for another fifteen minutes or so, and she assures me that I’m not a pussy, but that I’ve let Danielle walked all over me. I can’t deny that fact, she has indeed walked all over me. The things that I accept from her, I would never have accepted twenty years ago. And yet, it’s been this gradual process, and I’m in a place I never imagined possible. After we’ve hung up the phone, I stare at my message from Ines again.

  See you soon, angel eyes.

  INES

  I stare at my phone. Hoping that he’ll tell me when and where he’ll see me. Tomorrow I’ll be able to gaze at him as he lectures in class, but other than that, I don’t know. After the day of just walking around looking at the beautiful gardens, and enjoying his company, I’m ready for more. I have never wanted to be around somebody so much in my life. I love the way I feel when he’s next to me, just holding his hand is like a high.

  After another ten minutes of staring at my cell alone in my room, I toss it on my desk and try to study. Jessa hasn’t been around all day and I wonder where she is. She’s usually sitting at her desk studying away, doing her douchebag boyfriend’s homework.

  I can’t concentrate on my homework, and I can’t sit here and stare at my phone all night long. I feel like I’m going to go insane in this tiny little room.

  Grabbing my cell off of the desk, I shove it in my back pocket and leave my room. The hallway is quiet, everybody is either studying or trying to sleep off Saturday night. I just wish Thomas would call me.

  What the fuck am I doing?

  I’m falling for him is what I’m doing.

  My phone vibrates
in my pocket and I yank it out, expecting a text message but it’s a call instead, and it’s from Thomas. My finger shakes as I swipe it across the screen to accept the call. “Hello,” I breathe.

  “I need to see you,” he announces.

  He sounds almost frantic. My heart starts to pound inside of my chest, my own body mirroring his and becoming frantic as well. “I’m not in my room, where can we meet?”

  “The café, I’ll pick you up, we’ll go for a drive,” he states. I tell him that I’m headed in that direction.

  I don’t bother checking to see if I look okay. I know that I don’t. I’m wearing a pair of jean cut-off shorts and a thin white tank top, with a red bra underneath. I wasn’t planning on going outside tonight, and I was stuck inside of my head when I left my dorm room. I didn’t really realize what I was wearing. My hair is up in a knot at the top of my head, and on my feet, black sandals.

  When Thomas’ BMW pulls up to the curb a few minutes after I arrive, I quickly pull on the door handle, opening the door, and slide inside. I don’t look at him as I fasten my seat belt, and he speeds away from campus. After I’m situated, I smile and look over to him. His face is set, his jaw clenched, and I wonder if he’s okay, but I’m kind of afraid to ask. I stay quiet, waiting for him to talk as he drives to wherever we’re headed.

  It doesn’t take us long to get to our destination. He drives us to a secluded park and just stares out of the windshield. “Thomas?” I gently ask as I lean back against the door.

  “Do you always dress provocatively?” he randomly asks. He doesn’t look at me, his expression staying unreadable, at least from his profile.

  I clear my throat, “Well, I wasn’t planning on going anywhere tonight, I was just hanging out in my room, alone,” I whisper.

  “Not just tonight, Ines. You always show a lot of skin.”