A Blessing & a Curse

by ReShonda Tate Billingsley

  Jasmine didn’t move.

  “Mom, it’s really hot,” Jacqueline whined.

  Jasmine stared down at her daughter, blew out a frustrated breath, and reluctantly followed Rachel into the church, through the sanctuary, down a hall, and outside to a detached center.

  Mae Frances was sitting at a table with three of Rachel’s relatives. She smiled when she saw Jasmine. “Look, Jasmine Larson. They’re teaching me how to play dominoes.” She slapped a domino on the table. “Gimme fourteen tricks and a pimp to run them hos.”

  Jasmine’s mouth fell open in horror. Even Rachel had to laugh. Nobody but her cousin Sky had taught Mae Frances that terminology for when she scored fifteen points.

  “Mae Frances! We’re in God’s house!” Serena said.

  “Oops,” Mae Frances said, glancing upward. “Sorry, Lord.”

  “Technically, we’re not,” Rachel’s cousin Wanda said. “We’re in the multipurpose center. That’s not the same as the church.”

  “Whatever,” Jasmine replied. “Come on, Mae Frances. Wrap that up. We’re leaving.”

  “You can leave. I’m having fun,” Mae Frances said, studying the dominoes in her hand. “They said we’re playing Penny Spades after this.”

  “Yeah, and Sweetness is gonna be my partner,” Uncle Bubba said, winking at Mae Frances. “I got a feeling we’ll make a great team.”

  Mae Frances let out a small chuckle, but to Rachel’s surprise, didn’t protest.

  “Come on, baby,” Ruby said, taking Jasmine’s hand. “Sit down and enjoy yourself. I sent the kids up front to play kickball since Big Junior back there scared them all.”

  “I’m just ready to go,” Jasmine said.

  “Here, drink this,” Little Willie said, handing her a cup.

  Rachel snatched the cup. “Boy, nobody wants to be drinking after you.” Rachel sniffed the cup. “What’s in this anyway?”

  “Grade-A moonshine, baby.”

  Mae Frances raised her cup. “I ain’t had none like this since Jasper first started dabbling in liquor and had me trying out all these new recipes.”

  “Who is Jasper?” Little Willie asked.

  Mae Frances laughed. “Jasper Newton Daniel,” she replied. “Folks nowadays know him as Jack Daniel.”

  “Oh, snap! You knew Jack Daniel?” Little Willie exclaimed.

  “Excuse me, does anyone hear me when I say I’m ready to go?” Jasmine said. “Hosea isn’t back yet?”

  “Come on, Jasmine, relax,” Serena said. “This is all so entertaining.” She guided Jasmine to the window. “And look, Jacqueline is fine. She and Zaya are playing and having a ball. When is the last time you’ve seen them so happy?”

  Jasmine studied her children for a minute and watching them did seem to relax her.

  “It’s not that bad,” Rachel said.

  “Really, it isn’t. All you have to do is give the Jacksons a chance. I think you’ll like us.”

  Everyone turned toward the soft voice that had eased up behind them. Rachel’s first instinct was to whisk her father away again, but she knew this was it. It was time.

  “Jasmine,” Simon slowly continued, “first of all, thank you so much for coming. It would mean a lot to me if you would just step outside with me and talk for a minute.”

  “I . . .”

  “Just hear me out. Just five minutes. Please.”

  Rachel wanted to cry at the strain in her father’s voice, but she stayed out of it. She’d done her part. She’d gotten Jasmine here. She’d gotten her father to wait. Now it was on them.

  “Please, Jasmine?” Simon continued.

  Jasmine looked over at Serena, who once again nodded. Every eye in the room was on them. Finally, Jasmine turned her attention back to Simon.

  “Fine. Five minutes.” She headed toward the front door, Simon right behind her. And it took everything in Rachel’s power not to follow them out.

  Chapter

  27

  Jasmine

  It was a wonder that Jasmine was able to walk, the way her knees knocked together. How in the world had she allowed herself to be tricked like this? Rachel would always be duplicitous. That was just who she was, down to her soul. So getting into that SUV with her and letting her drive around this town was not the smartest decision Jasmine had ever made. Being here now, in this position, was totally her fault—first, for trusting Rachel, and then, for not leaving once Simon had shown up at the center. But she was going to fix this and end this now.

  Jasmine left several feet between her and Simon as she followed him down the hall, made a turn to the right, then went out through the heavy double doors. Thank God he’d taken her away from the church. Now she wouldn’t have to be concerned with or be responsible for the words that would come from her mouth.

  When Simon paused right under the old oak tree, Jasmine was grateful. Walking on wobbly legs in designer stilettos hurt!

  Simon turned around, his eyes steady on her. And Jasmine returned his stare. The only difference between them was that as Simon’s lips spread into the widest of smiles, Jasmine folded her arms.

  “What do you want?” she asked.

  Her tone did not deter him. “I can’t believe I’m actually standing here talking to you.”

  “Four minutes.”

  That took his smile away. “Jasmine, please give me some time. I need time with you.”

  “Three minutes.”

  He inhaled, and stared at her for another few moments. “I can’t believe I didn’t see this the first time I met you at the American Baptist Coalition. You looked familiar then, but now . . . standing here, looking at you. You look just like your mother.”

  “Two minutes.”

  He took a step forward and she took two steps back. “However much time you give me, I’m grateful. Because with you standing right here . . .”

  “One minute.”

  “Right where I met your mother.”

  She was ready to tell Simon that his time was up, but his words had stopped those thoughts. “This is where you met my mother?” she whispered.

  He nodded and in the next moments of silence, Jasmine realized that this was the church. This was the church that Aunt Virginia had told her about and the church that she’d planned on visiting, if she had come to Smackover alone. Her plan had been to come to this place, to stand in the church where her mother had stood. To be in the place where her mother had met her father.

  She waited for a moment, to see if she felt anything. Any more of a connection to the woman she loved so much. But just like with the rest of this town, with the rest of this trip, she felt nothing.

  Simon spoke up again: “When she came to Smackover that first time, her bus stopped right there.” He pointed to the spot where Rachel had parked her SUV. “I remember it like it happened just a few hours ago. When Doris got off that bus, I was in love. I had never had a girlfriend, but my heart knew that she was the one that I would love forever. We were only kids . . .”

  “Yeah, my mother was just a young girl and you took advantage of her.”

  “No, Jasmine!” Simon exclaimed, shaking his head. “It wasn’t like that at all.”

  “Then why did you leave her?” She held up her hand, her palm just inches from his face. “You know what? I don’t want to know. I don’t want to hear your excuses and I definitely don’t want to hear any lies.”

  “You haven’t given me the chance to tell you the truth.”

  Her teeth were clenched so tightly, her jaw hurt. But still, she spoke. “You had your chance with my mother; you’re not getting a chance with me.” There were tears in her eyes when she turned away, but she was not going to cry. Never again would she shed a tear over this man.

  She spun around, but she’d only taken one step before Simon grabbed her arm. She paused, looked down at where he held her, and then allowed her glance to move slowly up to his face. With a deathly stare, she growled, “Mr. Jackson, if you don’t get your hands off me . . .”

 
He looked like he’d just been stabbed and now Jasmine wished she had called him Mr. Jackson before. If she’d known it was that easy to hurt him, she would have called him Mr. Jackson all day long.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, dropping his hand away from her. “I just don’t understand why you won’t give me a chance. Why you won’t listen to me?”

  “There’s no need to. I don’t want to hear anything and I never want to see you again.”

  “But . . .”

  Jasmine kept walking.

  “Please . . .”

  She didn’t miss a step.

  “I need to tell you the whole story.” His words followed her, though he did not. “I want you to know the truth.”

  She slammed the church doors on his last words and marched back into the center. From the hall, she heard the chatter, as if there was a celebration, but the moment she stepped inside, the joyful noise stopped. Now all that was heard was the heels of her pumps tapping against the wooden planks of the floor as she stomped across the room.

  Jasmine didn’t look to her left or her right. Her plan had been to go directly to Serena or Mae Frances and find a way to get out of there. But when she walked through the doors, she spotted Hosea. He must’ve entered the church through another door, but that didn’t matter to her right now. She had one mission, one purpose.

  When she stopped in front of Hosea, she said, “I need to go now.”

  Gently, he placed his hands on her shoulders, looked into her eyes, and nodded. “All right. I’ll get Rachel.”

  “No!” Jasmine shouted. She felt all the eyes on her, but she didn’t turn around and she didn’t care. “I don’t want Rachel taking me anywhere. I just want to go back to the hotel and get out of Smackover.”

  “But we don’t have a car,” Hosea said. “How else am I going to get you back?”

  “I’ll take you, Jasmine,” Lester said, rushing to their side. “I can take you to the hotel.”

  “Thank you,” she said, her voice lower now. “Please, can we leave now?”

  Lester looked at Hosea and he nodded. “We can’t all fit in one car, though . . .”

  “You take Jasmine back,” Hosea said, “and the kids and I will get a ride . . .”

  Before he could finish, Jasmine had already turned toward the doors. Without giving anyone a single glance or a good-bye, Jasmine marched out the same door that she had entered. She was ready for Simon if he dared to approach her again. But she didn’t see him, and really, that was a good thing—for him.

  Lester ran in front of her, opened the door to his Yukon, and she jumped inside. The door was barely closed before she leaned back and closed her eyes. She could feel the tears right there, fighting to get out. But she was stronger; she pushed them back. She was not going to cry.

  That was her vow. There was no need for any more tears. She’d come to Smackover and faced Simon, and now she was ready to go home.

  It was over.

  The door to the SUV opened again and Jasmine’s eyes widened. She was ready to fight, physically if she had to. But it wasn’t the man who was her father. It was just her sister. Her real sister.

  “Oh, Jasmine, I’m so sorry,” Serena said. And when she held open her arms, Jasmine leaned into her sister’s embrace. And then, she did what she didn’t want to do.

  Jasmine wept.

  • • •

  God was on her side. That was the only way she could explain that just three hours after she told Simon Jackson that she never wanted to see him again, she and her family were on the last flight out of Arkansas to New York City.

  Her only regret was that she’d had to leave Serena behind to catch a flight in the morning.

  “That’s okay,” her sister had told her. “I’ll stay here and make sure you didn’t leave anything in your hotel room since you packed like you were in the witness protection program and had to get out of dodge.”

  What her sister said was true. From the moment she’d left that church and Lester had taken her back to the Super 8, she hadn’t stopped moving. By the time Hosea and the children had returned, she’d packed, called the airline, and paid the almost four thousand dollars that the new tickets had cost for the five of them to travel back to the city.

  And to Jasmine, it was worth every dollar.

  As the plane floated upward, Jasmine leaned back in her seat. Zaya had snuggled against her, already in a deep sleep. She held her son a little tighter and glanced out the window.

  Silently she bid good riddance to the place she should have never visited, and the place she would never return to. It would be easy enough to train the staff of Jacqueline’s Hope through Skype sessions, and if they ever needed on-site support, Hosea would just have to be the one to make the trip.

  As the plane sailed above the Natural State, the events of the past few days scrolled through her mind, but her thoughts stayed on the memory of the last few hours and her face-to-face with Simon. If he had just acquiesced to her wishes and had given her the space she’d asked for, he would still at least have Hosea and the children there in Arkansas.

  But he hadn’t listened, and Rachel hadn’t learned that Jasmine always meant what she said. So they had to go. And because of the way it had all gone down, none of the Jacksons would see any of the Bushes again.

  The seat belt sign chimed off and Mae Frances tapped Hosea on the shoulder. “Preacher Man, let’s change seats,” she said from across the aisle. “I need to talk to Jasmine Larson.”

  As the two switched places, Jasmine closed her eyes. Maybe Mae Frances would get the hint. But of course, her friend did not.

  “Are you okay, Jasmine Larson?”

  “I am now,” she said without opening her eyes.

  “You know, it’s such a shame this didn’t work out.”

  Now Jasmine opened her eyes. She twisted in her seat, careful not to disturb her son, and faced her friend. “Did you know that Rachel was going to take me to that church? Did you know that Simon was going to ambush me?”

  “Yes and no. I did know about the church, but I didn’t know your father . . .”

  “Simon.”

  “I didn’t know your father, Simon, was going to be there. But really when you think about it, that was the perfect place for the two of you to connect. At church.”

  Jasmine shook her head, turned away, and studied the clouds as if she were a storm chaser.

  “Why are you so hell-bent against having a relationship with that man?”

  “Why?” Jasmine responded, her eyes still on the clouds outside. “Why should I have a relationship with him? What can he do for me now?”

  “If all he can do is say I love you, that’s a gift.”

  “I have enough people telling me they love me.”

  “No one can ever have enough.”

  “Well, I don’t need to hear that from Simon Jackson. I don’t need him trying to come into my life and wipe away my past.”

  “Is that what you think he wants to do? That doesn’t even make any sense. Your past is your past. Nobody has a delete key over their life. He can’t take anything away; all Simon can do is add to all the wonderful things you already have.”

  Jasmine said nothing.

  “You know how many women out there would love to have a man come into their lives and claim them?” Mae Frances paused, but Jasmine didn’t turn back.

  “Maybe you don’t understand,” she continued, “because you were raised by a good man. But there are so many women who would give anything to have a father, no matter how old they are.”

  Jasmine still had nothing to say.

  “Simon’s just a man who’s trying to live his life right.”

  “And that has nothing to do with me,” Jasmine said, though she still didn’t face Mae Frances. “I’m grown. I had a wonderful daddy. I don’t need a new model.”

  After several moments of silence, Mae Frances said, “All right, but I think you’re going to be sorry.”

  Jasmine whipped around, now fac
ing her friend. “You know the only thing that I’m sorry about? I’m sorry that I didn’t ask you to change the test.” And then she paused as she thought about those words. “Oh my God. Why didn’t I think of that? Mae Frances, I could have had you just change the test and then I wouldn’t have had to go through any of this.”

  “Well, it’s a good thing that you didn’t ask me to do that because you would’ve missed out on all of that love down there . . . not that you got any of it because your heart is so hard, you won’t let anyone in. But my prayer is that one day the Lord will show you the light.”

  “I’ve seen the light,” Jasmine said, leaning back once again. “And that light has nothing to do with the Jacksons.”

  Jasmine closed her eyes and twisted her body away from her friend, telling her without words that the conversation was over. She heard Mae Frances’s heavy sigh, but Jasmine didn’t care. She’d told Simon, now she’d told Mae Frances, and when they landed in New York, she was going to make sure that Hosea knew, too. None of them were to bring any of this up to her ever again. She was tired of it and she’d made her decision.

  Simon Jackson would never be more than a sperm donor and they all just needed to get that. The sooner they did, the better it would be for all of them.

  Chapter

  28

  Rachel

  The mood of the Jackson Family Reunion had definitely shifted, which was pretty hard for it to do. Rachel’s family had seen their share of ups and downs, triumphs and tragedies, so it took a lot to rattle them. But from the silence that filled the room, Jasmine had done just that. The solemn expression on Simon’s face bothered everyone. If Rachel didn’t know better, she would’ve thought her father was about to cry. She’d only seen that look twice in her life. Once, when he almost lost his church. And again, when he lost his wife.

  Because Simon was so revered in the Jackson family Rachel guessed everyone hated to see him so sad. That’s why everyone was mulling about. Even the domino game had come to a halt.

  “Simon Louis Jackson, if you don’t pull it together,” Minnie said, coming out of the kitchen. She must’ve had enough of the silence because she muttered a curse word, then stomped over to the table where Rachel and Simon were sitting. She pointed a chubby finger in his face. “You’ve gone all your life without knowing that child and the way I see it, she isn’t even worthy of knowing you now, let alone of having a relationship with you. If she can’t see you for the wonderful man you are, then it’s her loss.”