When He Returns

by Amelia Smarts

  “Don’t pity me,” she growled. “Go away and leave me alone. I can’t stand you. I’ve never been able to stand you, Wade, and I regret that I forgot that briefly.”

  “You don’t mean that,” he said, shaking his head. “You’re lashing out because I hurt your feelings. That’s what you do, instead of saying how you feel.”

  “Yeah? Well, if I’m so horrible, why did you pretend to like me?”

  He sat on the edge of the bed. Sadie scooted farther away until her back was against the wall. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She eyed him warily, ready to flee if he tried to hug her again.

  “I more than like you, Sadie. I love you. That’s the only reason I warned you about keeping an eye on your jealousy. It’ll hurt you more than anyone else if you act on it. Think about how much pain you caused yourself when you framed me for theft.”

  Her nose burned, and fresh tears flooded her eyes. As much as she wanted to believe his concern was for her, she couldn’t. “You love Grace. You said it to protect Grace from me.”

  “No, I said it to protect you,” he insisted again.

  Sadie shook her head. “Regardless, your worry is for nothing. I want what’s best for Grace. I love her and I’ve done everything I can to take care of her since you left. I’m not jealous of her.”

  Wade studied her. “All right, honey. I know you love her, and I’m sorry if I misunderstood your reason for wearing makeup.”

  Tears stung her eyes. “You said you love me. But even if that’s true, you love Grace more than me,” she accused. She pursed her lips together and clenched her hands into fists, wishing to punch him in his earnest, handsome face.

  Wade raised an eyebrow. “Can you not hear yourself? You just said you weren’t jealous of Grace, but now you’re acting jealous that I care about her. Are you jealous or aren’t you?”

  “I’m glad you care about her,” she said hotly. “But I…” She wrestled internally about admitting her next words, but then decided she didn’t have anything to lose but her pride, which was already effectively ruined. “I want you to care about me more than you care about her. For once, I want someone to favor me.”

  Something flashed in Wade’s eyes, and he let out a low growl as he leaned forward and took hold of Sadie’s arms. “You’ve learned nothing since you were a child,” he scolded.

  She squealed as he hauled her over to him and planted her face down over his lap. “Accckkkkk! What are you doing, Wade?” This was not at all what she’d expected him to do, thinking he would instead answer her question about his feelings for her compared to Grace.

  He shoved up her nightgown and tugged down her drawers, landing an immediate hard swat in the center of her bared bottom. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

  She twisted furiously. “Let me go this instant!”

  His grip around her waist tightened. “Not a chance. You’re getting the hiding of your life, so you might as well accept it.” His palm connected smartly with her cheeks over and over.

  “Why?” she wailed. “I didn’t do anything wrong. You’re the one who was unkind!” she cried, scissoring and kicking her legs in the air. This spanking already felt much more punishing than the last one. There was no caressing—only no-nonsense smacks and scolding.

  “I wasn’t unkind,” he responded, landing his hand relentlessly on her poor exposed bottom. “I spoke out of concern for you. Granted, I could have expressed myself better. But you lashed out like a petulant child, and you proved yourself to be jealous just as I suspected.”

  His hand lowered to her thighs, which caused her to screech like a banshee. Her cries had no effect on his punishing hand, which continued to strike its target with unwavering focus. “More importantly, you need this spanking,” he said, smacking her impossibly harder and faster. “You need it to feel loved.”

  “I feel loved, I feel loved!” she promised.

  He paused. “Do you?”

  She looked back to find his hand poised above her bottom to strike again. She nodded enthusiastically and gazed into his eyes with what she hoped was a truthful expression. She would have agreed to anything to halt the punishment.

  His eyes narrowed, considering her response until he shook his head. “I’m not convinced. In fact, I think you’re lying. You don’t understand at all how much I care about you.” He brought his hand down in a terrific wallop that made her yelp loudly.

  He repeated the motion, igniting the burn on her buttocks to something that felt unbearable. “You’re acting like you’re twelve years old again, still jealous of attention given to others not directed at you. You’re jealous that I care about Grace.”

  As much as she hated to admit it, he was right, and every spank seemed to enforce his words. She’d been jealous of the attention her pa had given to the other children. She’d felt forgotten and left behind, and she was convinced it would happen again.

  She twisted in his lap, trying to avoid his paddle-like hand, but he kept her pinned in place by leaning his forearm down her back. “You’re going to feel every last swat, Sadie.” He stopped spanking only to readjust her over his legs. “Stick your naughty bottom in the air. Arch your back and lie still.”

  She whimpered and obeyed, the sound of his voice compelling her to do as he commanded.

  “That’s it,” he said, landing his hand again on her upturned cheeks. “Keep your bottom in place to take punishment like you deserve. By the time I’m done with you, you’re going to realize how pointless your jealousy is.”

  The spanking resumed, and he wasn’t going easy on her. Though every firm swat caused a burst of pain, she was aware of the moisture gathering between her legs. She couldn’t help it. The sound of his voice scolding her, the feeling of his hand striking her flesh, the loud slapping sound accompanied by her whimpers and cries—the spanking was such an intense experience that her excitement matched her distress.

  He must have spanked her a hundred more times before he stopped and rubbed a hand over her poor tender cheeks. Her bottom felt swollen to twice its normal size, and she doubted she’d be able to sit comfortably for days. She slumped over his knee, exhausted and sore.

  “Is it over?” she asked in a pathetic plea.

  His hand soothed her hot skin in circular motions. “Yes. How do you feel?” he asked, his voice kind and without the stern edge that had accompanied it earlier.

  “I feel like my bottom hurts,” she whimpered.

  “Mmm,” he murmured. “Good. That’s what you deserve. You’re going to get that anytime you doubt how much I care for you.”

  She sniffled. “I care about you too, Wade. I wore makeup because I wanted to look nice for you.”

  His hand stilled. “Aw, honey,” he sighed. “I’m sorry I misunderstood. Really. And you did look nice. I always think you look beautiful.”

  She shook her head. “I’m plain. I’ve never been beautiful. You don’t have to flatter me.”

  “Goddammit.” Wade brought his hand down in a crisp swat. “I’m not flattering you. In my opinion, you’re very pleasing to look at.”

  She struggled to see how he could find her beautiful. Still, she believed he meant what he said, which made her feel very happy. She remembered when he’d complimented her over by the buggy the day after he arrived in Lebec. She’d thought he was making fun of her, but now she realized he was being genuine.

  “Wade?” she asked in a small voice. “I have to know, do you love Grace more than you love me?” She braced herself for his response and for a potential resuming of the spanking.

  He continued to rub her punished bottom. “That’s an unfair question, Sadie, and one I don’t know how to answer. Can you answer it? Do you love Grace more than you love me?”

  The reversal of the question surprised her, and she realized she couldn’t answer it either. “I see your point,” she said quietly.

  “Good. The point is that I love you differently, so I treat you differently. I suppose I expect
more from you than I do Grace. I see you as my partner and Grace as someone I must guide. But I’d lay down my life for either of you.”

  A niggling of truth nudged her mind. She couldn’t quite make sense of it until Wade pulled her upright and cuddled her against him. When it dawned on her, she stared at him. “You just made me realize something.”

  “What, honey?”

  “Pa treated me differently than the rest of you. I thought it was because he didn’t love me as much…” Her voice trailed off.

  Wade nodded and offered her a small smile. “Now you realize he didn’t love you less, he loved you differently and expected more from you than he did the rest of us.”

  “Yes,” she said in a hushed voice. It made perfect sense to her then.

  Wade stared past Sadie, looking pensive.

  Sadie touched his cheek. “What?”

  His gaze softened when he looked into her eyes. He took hold of her wrist and kissed the palm of her hand. “Pa wasn’t perfect, was he?”

  Sadie blinked, surprised by his words. Wade had always revered Clyde. She couldn’t once remember him acknowledging a fault of his.

  “He paid me for my work,” Wade said, “and I know why. He knew I was a boy who needed to feel like a man. He was very wise.”

  “Yes,” she agreed. “He was.”

  “But not perfect,” Wade repeated. “If he were, he would have believed me when I told him I didn’t steal from him. He should have believed me.” His eyes grew sadder.

  She sighed deeply, saddened by his pain. “I wish more than anything I would have confessed to him. I wish he would have learned the truth before he died.”

  “I do too, Sadie, but it’s all right. He never learned the truth, but he forgave me.”

  She blinked, and two tears streamed down her face. “He would have forgiven me if I’d confessed. And he would have seen me for who I really was.”

  Wade laid a hand on her back in a comforting manner, waiting for her to continue.

  “I was still a child,” she said, sniffling. “A child who made mistakes. I needed him to see me that way, not as a grown-up.”

  Sad understanding washed over his face. “Yes, you did need that, sweetheart. I’m so sorry you didn’t get what you needed back then.”

  She nodded. “He made a big mistake not believing you and never suspecting me.”

  “Yep, loused it up to shit.”

  Sadie gasped and then burst out laughing. The mood of the room changed from sad to accepting. He joined her in laughing and pulled her close to him. “I promise I’ll always see that you aren’t perfect and that you need love and discipline, Sadie Shaw.” The words were spoken in a teasing manner, but she didn’t miss the depth of his promise. He knew exactly what she needed—to feel loved and accepted, flaws and all.

  “And I promise always to believe you,” she said, squeezing him tight. “You’re the furthest thing from a thief that exists. You take nothing, only give.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  The wedding was held on a clear and sunny spring day. Wildflowers bloomed around the church, and the chime of the bells could be heard from the mercantile, where Grace and Ada helped Sadie prepare to walk down the aisle.

  “Are you nervous?” Grace asked, as she tightened the corset around Sadie’s waist.

  “A little, I suppose,” Sadie admitted. “But mostly I’m happy.”

  Ada pinned a loop of Sadie’s hair up into an intricate braiding pattern she was creating near the top of her head. “Funny how things worked out with Wade, isn’t it? When he returned, everything got better.”

  “Yes,” Sadie agreed. “He’s very proud of you, Ada, getting that job in Haverton as a schoolteacher.”

  Ada laughed lightly. “To think out of all us kids, I became the teacher. I’m the person who liked school the least. But Wade helped me understand the lessons.”

  Grace picked up a cloth and dipped it into her tin of rouge.

  “Very little, please,” Sadie begged, as Grace approached her with the cloth to paint her face.

  “Yeah, yeah,” she responded, rolling her eyes. She obliged, however, and only applied a thin dab to each of Sadie’s cheeks before rubbing it in.

  “Ada, how do you like the children in Haverton?” Grace asked. “Are they as bad as the Lebec kids?”

  “Oh, worse,” Ada said, laughing. “It’s hard to keep control, but I care for them all—even the rowdy children. There’s one boy in particular who’s a handful, a boy named Zeke. He’s obnoxious and disobedient. He has good cause for it though, seein’ as how both his parents recently died from a robbery gone wrong. I try not to show favoritism, but there’s a place in my heart for a boy like him. I understand it because we lost our parents too.”

  “Mm,” Grace murmured. “That’s good of you. You’re like how Pa was with Wade. Remember how surly Wade was when he first came here, slammin’ doors and shutting himself off in his room? Pa hardly blinked an eye.”

  With Grace’s mention of Clyde, the room grew quiet. Only the sound of the breeze whistling around the window could be heard until Sadie said sadly, “Sure wish Pa were here today.”

  Grace placed the veil lightly on Sadie’s head and arranged the netting in front of her face. “He would be so happy to see you two gettin’ married. Don’t cry now, you’ll mess up your makeup, sweetheart.”

  Sadie nodded and blinked back the tears that were forming. She knew Grace was right and that Clyde would have been happy about the marriage. The love between Wade and Sadie carried on his legacy. He had been a man who’d believed hardship could be overcome through sticking together and showing love and forgiveness. In the case of Wade and Sadie, their love and forgiveness healed the wounds they’d caused each other as well as those inflicted by others.

  “You’re all ready,” Grace said, smiling at her. “And you look absolutely beautiful.”

  “Thank you.” Sadie stood and wrapped her arms around Grace and then Ada. “I love you both more than you know.”

  “We know,” Ada said, “because we feel the same about you.”

  The three sisters walked out of the mercantile and made their way across the street to the church, careful not to allow Sadie’s dress to drag in the dirt. They joined Miles and Luke, who were waiting for Sadie with plans to escort her down the aisle.

  “You look pretty,” Luke said, holding out his arm. Miles smiled and agreed, taking his place on Sadie’s other side.

  “Oh, now I’m nervous!” Sadie exclaimed to them. “Now it’s really happening.” She took a giant breath, trying to calm her hammering heart. The townsfolk could be heard murmuring inside, and she knew Wade was at the other end of the aisle.

  “You’re gonna be fine,” Miles said, squeezing her hand. “It’s just Wade, remember.”

  Sadie laughed nervously. “Yeah, just Wade.”

  Miles’ words didn’t help to calm her fears. Just Wade. Just her whole world.

  Charles Campbell opened the door to the church, which Grace and Ada entered first. Soft organ music reached Sadie’s ears, and soon it was time for her to walk down the aisle after her sisters. Somehow, she found her courage and, with Miles’ and Luke’s support, stepped up the stairs to the opened door.

  She spotted Wade in the front next to the altar. His feet were planted slightly apart and his hands were folded one over the other in front of him. From his combed hair down to his shined boots, he looked every bit the relaxed gentleman. His suit was grey and pressed neatly, void of wrinkles. He was perfect and handsomer than ever.

  Their eyes locked as she walked toward him. She could see love and pride in his gaze, and it filled her with gratitude that his feelings were for her. After what seemed like an eternity of walking, she reached him, and he immediately took both her hands in his, causing sparks of electricity to shoot up her arms. His touch was magical—both wonderful and terrifying. Wade leaned forward and whispered in her ear. “You’re beautiful, honey. I’m a lucky man.”

  She trembled,
feeling both scared and overwhelmingly happy. He must have felt her shaking because his gaze softened with compassion. “Don’t be nervous, it’s just me.”

  Sadie smiled at him, finding it ironic that he would choose the same argument as the twins for why she shouldn’t be nervous, when, in fact, it was because of who Wade was that her whole body was trembling with anticipation.

  He smiled back at her, and she hardly noticed the time pass between when the preacher told everyone to sit and when he asked Wade and Sadie to repeat the vows of love and commitment to each other. In those moments, nothing existed but her and Wade.

  After the preacher pronounced them husband and wife, Wade lifted her veil and kissed her lips for the first time. Though it was a chaste kiss, the pressure of his lips against hers was enough to make her sigh.

  The organ played a jaunty tune loudly, and the entire room exploded in applause when the kiss ended and they pulled apart. While the audience clapped, they stared into each other’s eyes and then joined everyone in their laughter, which was borne from nothing other than sheer happiness.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Over the next few months, Wade continued to write articles weekly for the Sacramento paper, but he had bigger plans. He was going to start his own fledgling newspaper business in Lebec. After a meeting with potential investors at the bank, Wade stopped by Clyde’s grave to pay his respects.

  He picked a cluster of wildflowers for Sadie and held them behind his back as he walked into the cabin. He smiled when he saw her kneading dough for bread, right on schedule. That was his wife, someone who forever could be relied on.

  She turned and greeted him, her face lighting up with a smile when he showed her what he had behind his back. “Those are lovely, thank you, Wade,” she said, a light blush creeping up to her cheeks as she took the flowers from him.

  “Not as lovely as you, honey.” He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close as he captured her lips with his. He made sure to tell her she was beautiful often, and any time she demurred, he reminded her that she’d promised always to believe him.