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Partridge, Alan

Page 27

by I, Partridge We Need to Talk About Alan


  27. Équinoxe Part 4 – Jean Michel Jarre

  28. Be With You – Mr Big

  29. Wishful Thinking – China Crisis

  30. The Race – Yello

  31. Mamunia – Wings

  32. Anything by Keane

  33. Axel F – Harold Faltermeyer

  34. Fade to Grey – Visage

  35. Cake Walk into Town – Taj Mahal

  36. Single Ladies – Beyoncé

  37. Babooshka – Kate Bush

  38. Drive – The Cars

  39. Satisfaction – Benny Benassi

  40. Pipes of Peace – Paul McCartney

  41. Iko Iko – The Belle Stars

  42. Poison Arrow – ABC

  43. Theme from The Saint

  44. Theme from Harry’s Game – Clannad

  45. Fix You – Coldplay

  46. Portsmouth – Mike Oldfield

  Index

  The page numbers in this index relate to the printed version of this book; they do not match the pages of your eBook. You can use your eBook reader’s search tool to find a specific word or passage.

  Note: ‘n’ refers to a note.

  Abba 43, 93, 94, 95, 96, 110n, 127, 175

  Al-Qaeda 148, 266n

  Alvin (visionary) 275

  Anderson, Clive 112

  Andersson, Benjamin ‘Benny’ 96

  Archer, Lady 71

  Backley, Steve 89, 90

  Banter, Wally 280, 287

  Barrymore, Michael 115

  Bazalgette, Joseph 117n

  Bazalgette, Peter 117

  BBC

  bar 64

  Broadcasting House 59, 62–3, 92

  club 70–1, 78

  compliance culture 210

  execs, TV as inconvenience for 187

  Television Centre 84–5, 91–2, 101, 159, 160, 161, 187, 269

  see also Radio 4; Radio 5Live

  BBC1

  Dr Who 188n, 205

  Grandstand 82n, 160, 161n

  as KMKY’s natural home 100–1

  Points of View 112

  Question of Sport 29

  BBC2

  Day Today, The 79, 80–1, 89–90, 103

  Knowing Me Knowing You (KMKY) 99–100, 101, 111–20, 133, 159–62, 218, 248, 275, 310n

  Knowing Me Knowing Yule 132, 133–5, 159

  Top Gear 100–1

  Beasley, Joe 114–15

  Bevin, Mr (English teacher) 23

  Birt, John 59

  Boyce, Emily 143

  Boyd, Jon 50, 216

  Boyle, Jessica 187–8

  Butterworth, Kev 187–8

  Camley, Lawrence 96

  Channel 4

  100 best catchphrases 95

  Countdown 212

  Deal or No Deal 209

  Grand Designs 252

  Million Pound Drop Live 182n

  Chesney, Henry 242

  Chipping Norton set 267n

  Clark, Elaine 61

  Clarkson, Jeremy 160, 194, 267

  Clifton, Dave 142, 163, 258–9, 278, 299–302

  Coe, Sebastian 186

  Coleman, David 29, 55

  Cook, Sue 71, 124, 127, 169, 170, 171, 179, 180, 181, 224

  Crowther, Peter 53–4

  Dance, Charles 299n

  Denton, Simon 285–94

  DeVault, Sophie 61

  Diamond, Anne 139

  Diana, Princess of Wales 195n

  Dimmock, Charlie 186

  Dwyer, George 109–10

  Eastwood, Steven 63–4, 79, 80

  Edmonds, Noel 123, 174n, 209

  Essex, David 255

  Feather, Chris 181–2, 183–4, 218, 238, 244

  Fielding, Yvette 209

  Ford, Nick 96

  Frank, Anne 228

  Furnish, David 105

  Gabitas, Pete 40, 193–5, 260

  Galbraith, James 170

  Geoff Love Orchestra 94n

  Golding, Brian 51

  Goodhew, Duncan 54

  Goodier, Mark 145

  Gordale Media 278, 279, 282

  Grainger, Bob 157

  Grossman, Loyd 186

  Gunnell, Sally 82–4, 139

  Hamilton’s Water Breaks 181, 210–11

  Harrier, Dave 209

  Harrison, Georgia 111

  Harvey, Wanda 116

  Hayers, Jane 181, 238

  Hayers, Tony 97–9, 111, 119–20, 134–5, 137, 159–67, 179–81, 244, 300

  Heron, Gordon 134, 136, 180n

  Hethersett, Barry 53, 54

  Hitler, Adolf 8, 291

  Holmes, Eamonn 220

  Hoseasons (Bournemouth) 36n, 114–15

  Hurst, Lewis 110

  ITV

  Aspel & Company 99, 101

  Cube, The 182n

  Police, Camera, Action! 202

  This Morning 50

  World in Action 199

  Jameson, Derek 118

  Janice (McCombe’s cashier) 26

  Jason (Peartree ex-assistant producer) 93, 109, 111

  Jeff Lovell girls 95

  Jeff Lovell Orchestra 94, 104

  Jemima ‘Jem’ (first girlfriend) 31–2, 33

  Jesus Christ 44, 54, 195n, 219, 266, 268

  Jill (Peartree receptionist) 110

  John, Elton 105

  Jom (Jim or Tom, entrepreneur) 156–7

  Kelly, Henry 199

  Kilty, Craig ‘The Monster’ 296, 300

  Lambert family 21–2, 190–2

  Lancashire, Jennie 5–6

  Langland, Gina 110, 110–11n

  Lewis, Sue 226

  Lewis-Smith, Victor 27

  Lisa (Peartree researcher) 93, 98, 101

  Littlejohn, Richard 204

  Lynam, Des 84–5, 161n

  Maclean, Scott 114

  Malick, Jon 8

  Matt and Mario 211, 212

  Matthews, Bernard 75–6, 104, 219

  Maul, Ted 81

  Maxwell, Jed 169, 172–8, 179

  May, Rosie 65, 66, 81

  McAllister, Forbes, death of 112, 113–14, 116–20, 132, 162, 211, 289

  McCombe, Steven 24–6, 27

  McMahon, Bridie 27, 116

  Michael (Travel Tavern employee) 80n, 151, 152–3, 154, 171–2, 177n

  Millicent, Dave 18, 20

  Moore, Roger 65, 110

  Morgan, Piers 90

  Morgan of Glossop, Lord 97, 98

  Morris, Christopher 65, 81

  Noden, Vic 74

  Norfolk

  backward underachievers of 24

  Broads 201–2

  ‘development’ in 15–16

  first-class countryside 1, 2

  Gabitas’s enemies in 194

  Round Table 9

  Royal Norfolk Show 72, 179

  sex in 2n

  starvation in 228

  summer roadshow, Carol Partridge at 121

  Swaffham Country Fayre 179–80

  North Norfolk Digital (né Radio North Norfolk)

  Bedtime with Branning 287, 292–3

  loses FM licence 277

  Mid-Morning Matters 10, 248, 258, 282–4, 286–9, 291–3, 307–9

  ‘Mid Morning Matters, mid-air’ 297–300

  rebranding 279

  Norwich

  bus system, seeking snivels on 86

  Café Symphony 102, 106

  Choristers Country Club 256, 259

  City Council 238

  Mead Hotel 273

  Metropole 152

  Nando’s 106–8

  Our Price store 49–51, 52, 73, 215–16

  Playhouse 274

  Ponder’s band as fixture 101, 102

  Richer Sounds 272–3

  Rita’s café 37–8

  St Luke’s Hospital 46–8

  Thorburn’s pronunciation of 211

  train station 239–41

  Waterstone’s 233, 237

  see also Radio Norwich

  Oddie, Bill 124, 127, 166, 173, 180n, 210, 224–5, 226

  O’Hanraha
-hanrahan, Peter 65, 81

  Parry, Keith (ex-father-in-law) 39

  Parry, Stella (ex-mother-in-law) 39

  Parry, Ben E. 280

  Parry, Tim (ex-brother-in-law) 60, 123

  Partridge, Alan Gordon

  as author and writer

  book titles, meaningless 227n

  Bouncing Back 222n, 233–43, 271

  describe mother’s death, how to 247

  Funny Thing Happened, A … 235

  hope for current volume 310

  ideas for books 247

  love of alliteration 281–2

  narrative techniques 4, 118, 168, 217

  positioning books in-store 237

  pulping and recycling 241–4

  rhetorical devices 29, 168–9

  run-writing 234

  search for publisher 235–6

  selling units, methods 238–41

  awards

  Booker Prize (deserved) 233

  Channel 4 100 best catchphrases (84th) 95

  TV Quick’s Man of the Moment 27

  as businessman

  Apache Group of Companies® 256–7

  Forward Solutions™ 266, 267, 268–73, 274–5

  Partridge’s Nest 155–8

  philosophy 158, 257

  Travel Tavern’s understanding of 161

  see also below under Peartree Productions

  childhood, school and poly

  A-level results 28–30

  beatings 8–9

  birth 3–4, 42, 248

  bullying 1–2, 24–5, 26–7

  choice of newspaper 204

  Christmas 5

  dance, as self-expression 248

  East Anglia Polytechnic 30–4

  ‘Fartridge’ affair 23–4, 27

  first words, car-related 204

  funeral/burial of Barney the dog 244n

  hardship of 13–15, 20

  as ineffective leader 19–20

  inquisitiveness 6–7

  as lepidopterist 7

  living with parents as student 30–2

  as only child 4–5

  as precocious reader 13, 14, 204

  and privet sweepings 9, 21

  Scouting 17–20

  shoe-horn/shoe-tree fixation 7

  tree as doppelgänger 2–3, 15, 302–3

  dress and grooming

  aftershave (Pagan Man) 122

  beard, temporary 209–10

  Burton’s Gold Card 76, 310n

  dressing gown, when alone 132

  hair, luxuriance of 98

  side parting 51, 160, 297

  smart/smart casual 98, 284

  as student 31, 32

  talc and deodorant 91, 163

  underwear 245, 260

  waterproof trousers, discounted 302

  food and drink

  as accompaniment to BBC news 68

  Alan’s Cookie Jar 290

  baking soda metaphors 155, 170

  beer on Xmas morning 131–2

  birthday cake 13–14

  at BP garage 80

  Coco-Pops and hot milk 304

  daytime drinking, avoids 125

  drunk on Watneys Party Four 32

  improvisation at Travel Tavern 150

  interfered-with sandwiches 24

  lemonade preference 40

  lunchtime sandwiches 160, 161, 217, 242

  McDonald’s 291–2, 304

  Murray Mints 4, 5n

  Nandos’s (Norwich) 106–8

  omelettes at Travel Tavern 151

  in police cells 119

  tea, sequence of water and milk 37

  tea and AIDS 67–8

  toast at Rita’s 37

  Toblerone addiction 203–4, 213–23, 228–9, 231

  transcending binary pairs 37–8

  vegetables, surfeit of and consequences 11

  ‘when in Rome’ 83–4

  health (mental and physical)

  addiction see above under food and drink

  ageing, three signs of 305

  ankle injuries 65, 299–302, 304

  calls in ‘sick’ 125

  calluses, efficacy of pumice 234

  Controlled Anger-Release Splashing 226

  cures for flab 229–30

  excess skin, solutions for 232

  major bloodloss 15n

  ‘merciless’ exercise regime 228, 230–1

  muscularity of physique 173–4

  neck, pimple on 86, 97

  nosebleeds 1–2, 3, 15

  ‘palm-piss’ 114, 119, 306

  pony-trekking 226–8, 235

  scrotal cancer misdiagnosis 44–5

  Short-Burst Underwater Crying 225

  therapy 226

  Travel Tavern fitness routine 149

  weight (pre-and post-toilet) 297

  homes and dwellings

  designs own house 252–4, 258

  London penthouse 186, 189

  moves into own 262, 263

  naming own 253–4, 258

  static caravan 254–5

  ‘unstatic’ caravan 260

  see also Lambert family; Partridge family members; Travel Tavern (Linton)

  Peartree Productions

  employment tribunal 101

  genesis of, as joke not lie 92

  goes under 235

  liquidated 255

  management style 110–11

  pay rises and sacking 98

  as publisher 235

  restructuring 161

  as ‘sleeping volcano’ 186

  as ‘well-oiled machine’ 109–10

  workplace ambiance 93

  radio career

  ‘Aha’ catchphrase 94–6

  cross-genre mastery 286

  desk rethinks 60–1, 144

  expertise in modulation modes 276–7, 283

  fans and super-fans 169–70, 172–8

  ‘final’ show 307–9

  Gabitas as ‘manager/agent’ 193–4

  hospital radio 18, 46–8, 85, 289–90

  impersonating 169–70

  joined by sidekick 284, 286–9, 292–3

  mother’s pride in 248–9

  move to digital 279, 282–3

  musical taste 145

  nasal voice, Lynam on 85, 161n

  Our Price DJing 49–51, 52, 215–16

  premonitions of, at poly 32

  pre-show checklist 307

  purpose of 308

  real-life audiences 297–300

  reciprocated love 144

  Red Adair role 279

  research, learning and tips 146, 295–6

  retirement decision 303–7, 309

  return to Radio Norwich 138–42

  rumours of decline 296, 298

  seriousness, necessity of 187

  Shayer headhunts 47, 49

  sports reporting 51–8

  swearing during 143

  voiceover work 73–4

  see also individual stations and shows

  sex, relationships and friendships

  attraction to Sue Cook 71, 124, 169, 170, 171

  boss–employee relations, and propriety 151–2, 185

  BP attendant 218

  dalliance with menopausal colleague 259–60

  fingersex-miming 126

  first dabblings 31–2, 33

  ‘friending’ Treacle (horse) 228

  Michael as friend 152

  as Norwich Don Juan 73

  readers, with 310

  sexually assaulted 217

  STD checks, on others 262

  see also Jemima ‘Jem’; Partridge, Carol; Sonja

  TV career

  ‘Aha’ catchphrase 175

  BBC ‘contract’ 183–4, 188–9

  BBC ditches 120, 129

  as BBC2’s White Knight 101

  bulldozing of 16

  corporate video work 155, 181, 200–1, 210–11

  cow-bombed 201–2

  Crash, Bang, Wallop 202–3, 204, 206

  giving others breaks 115�
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  guest appearances 112

  high-brow/low-brow, switching between 90

  hires Ponder 103

  house befitting ‘personality’ status 163

  ideas for shows (inc. films) 120, 155, 165–6, 181, 187, 222, 290

  KMKY moves to TV 97–8

  KMKY ‘second series’ 118, 120, 138, 147, 159–62, 165, 188, 218, 275

  meetings for future shows 118–19

  modifies voice for 85–7

  moves into TV 79, 80

  offensive reviews 136–7

  Peacock pledge 182

  RTE contacts 170–1, 172, 173

  ruthlessness of 89, 91

  sacks Ponder, live 105, 106

  Swallow pilot 165, 181, 193, 196–8

  violence in 135–6, 137, 160, 289

  see also individual stations and shows

  Partridge, Carol née Parry (ex-wife)

  body shape, attempted 260

  Bouncing Back, forced to buy 238

  Chinese make-up 71

  dog-like hair 37

  end of marriage 131, 133, 160, 180n

  Fernando’s conception 41

  Good Food direct debit 274

  jealous of Sue Cook 71

  marital infidelity 122–7

  marriage 35–6, 39, 128–30, 310n

  motive for London visit 60

  pregnancy and birth of Fernando 40–3

  sex with 36n, 39, 261

  summer roadshow incident 121

  Partridge, Denise (daughter) 43, 130, 180n, 263, 295–6, 310n

  Partridge, Dorothy (mother)

  compared to Rover 800 177

  death, funeral and wake 244, 245, 247, 249–50

  marriage 10–12

  neither nice nor important 141

  Partridge, Fernando (son) 41–3, 67, 90–1, 130, 143, 236–7, 263, 295–6, 310n

  Partridge, Snr (father)

  butterfly tennis 7

  contraceptive ‘technique’ 5

  corporal punishment 8–9

  death 244, 247

  location post-death 249

  marriage 10–12

  slips on cake 13–14

  wartime service 8, 23

  Peacock, Nick 138–40, 142–3

  Peaks, Sandra and Clive 96–7

  Pepsie & Shirlie 216, 223

  Pete (uncle) 250

  Philbin, Maggie 70

  Ponder, Glen 101, 102–8, 136, 149n

  Queen Elizabeth Hospital (King’s Lynn) 4, 18, 46–8, 85, 289–90

  Radio 4

  God’s favourite shows 249

  Knowing Me Knowing You (KMKY) 95–7, 103, 104, 310n

  On the Hour 60, 62–8, 74, 103

  Radio 5Live 277n

  Radio Broadland (Great Yarmouth) 54, 75

  Radio North Norfolk see North Norfolk Digital

  Radio Norwich

  Clifton stagnates at 278

  Gordale buyout 278

  Norfolk Nights 191–2, 248, 258, 259, 282

 

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