The Karate Princess

by Jeremy Strong

  PUFFIN BOOKS

  The Karate Princess

  Jeremy Strong once worked in a bakery, putting the jam into 3,000 doughnuts every night. Now he puts the jam in stories instead, which he finds much more exciting. At the age of three he fell out of a first-floor bedroom window and landed on his head. His mother says that this damaged him for the rest of his life and refuses to take any responsibility. He loves writing stories because he says it is ‘the only time you alone have complete control and can make anything happen’. His ambition is to make you laugh (or at least snuffle). Jeremy Strong lives in Kent with his wife, Susan, two cats, and a pheasant that sits on the garden fence with a ‘can’t catch me’ grin on his beak.

  Some other books by Jeremy Strong

  THE KARATE PRINCESSTO THE RESCUE

  THE KARATE PRINCESS AND THE

  LAST GRIFFIN

  DINOSAUR POX

  FATBAG: THE DEMON VACUUM CLEANER

  GIANT JIM AND THE HURRICANE

  THE HUNDRED MILE-AN-HOUR DOG

  I’M TELLING YOU, THEY’RE ALIENS!

  THE INDOOR PIRATES

  THE INDOOR PIRATES ON TREASURE ISLAND

  KRAZY KOW SAVES THE WORLD

  THE MONSTER MUGGS

  MY DAD’S GOT AN ALLIGATOR!

  MY GRANNY’S GREAT ESCAPE

  MY MUM’S GOING TO EXPLODE

  PANDEMONIUM AT SCHOOL

  PIRATE PANDEMONIUM

  SIR RUPERT AND ROSIE GUSSET IN DEADLY DANGER

  THE SHOCKING ADVENTURES OF LIGHTNING LUCY

  THERE’S A PHARAOH IN OUR BATH

  THERE’S A VIKING IN MY BED

  VIKING AT SCHOOL

  VIKING IN TROUBLE

  Jeremy Strong

  The Karate Princess

  Illustrated by Simone Abel

  PUFFIN BOOKS

  PUFFIN BOOKS

  Published by the Penguin Group

  Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

  Penguin Putnam Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA

  Penguin Books Australia Ltd, 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia

  Penguin Books Canada Ltd, 10 Alcorn Avenue, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4V 3B2

  Penguin Books India (P) Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi – 110 017, India

  Penguin Books (NZ) Ltd, Cnr Rosedale and Airborne Roads, Albany, Auckland, New Zealand

  Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank 2196, South Africa

  Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

  www.penguin.com

  First published by A. & C. Black (Publishers) Ltd 1986

  Published in Puffin Books 1989

  29

  Text copyright © Jeremy Strong, 1986

  Illustrations copyright © Simone Abel, 1986

  All rights reserved

  Filmset in Linotron 202 Bembo

  Except in the United States of America, this book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

  British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Librarys

  ISBN: 978-0-14-191675-0

  1

  The sixteenth princess

  When Belinda was born her father, King Stormbelly, took one look at her and said, ‘Ugh!’ Belinda’s mother smiled mildly and observed that princesses never looked their best at two o’clock in the morning, especially when they were only one hour old. As for Belinda, she let out such an almighty wail that the king stuffed his fingers in his ears and fled back to bed.

  As time went by Belinda lost her creasedup wrinkles and began to look altogether more attractive, though never beautiful. King Stormbelly decided that something had gone wrong with the child. He had sixteen children. They were all girls, they were all princesses and they were all astonishingly beautiful and talented… all except for Belinda, who was quite ordinary. But she did have eyes of a most serene blue. The king never seemed to notice Belinda’s eyes.

  ‘I don’t know what we’re going to do about her,’ grumbled King Stormbelly, as Belinda grew up and showed no signs of becoming a ravishing beauty. ‘All the other princesses will find husbands easily, but nobody will be foolish enough to marry her. She’s not even particularly clever.’

  The queen didn’t say anything because she knew that if she started to argue, Stormbelly would just fly into one of his silly tempers, start kicking the guards and hurt his feet on their heavy armour. Then he’d take to his bed and stay there for a week pretending all his toes were broken and it was all the queen’s fault.

  So the queen didn’t say anything, but she thought a great deal. She was very fond of all her daughters and especially pleased that fifteen of them were astonishingly beautiful. But she was even more pleased that Belinda was different. What’s more, she knew that Belinda was a lot cleverer than her father and it was only because Belinda always beat her father playing ‘Snap!’ that the king was so grumpy about her.

  All the same, the king was quite right when he said that the fifteen beautiful princesses would easily find husbands, whereas Belinda would have to do a bit of work if she ever wanted to marry. The queen thought about all these things and then decided what ought to be done.

  First of all she went to Belinda very quietly and whispered in her ear, ‘Belinda dear, the next time you play “Snap!’ with your father please make sure that you lose.’

  ‘Oh, Mum!’ Belinda didn’t like losing at anything. ‘Do I have to?’

  The queen nodded and Belinda sighed, but the next time she played a game with her father she lost.

  ‘Snap!’ cried Stormbelly triumphantly. ‘Ha, ha! You’ve got to have sharp eyes to beat me, Belinda.’

  ‘Yes, Dad. I can see that,’ the youngest princess murmured shamefacedly.

  Off went the king, singing and dancing down the palace corridors, swinging round on the arms of the astonished guards and

  making them dance with him, until at last he reached the queen.

  ‘You seem very cheerful, dear,’ she mused.

  ‘Ha, ha! Do you know I’ve just won a game of “Snap!” Old sharp eyes, that’s me!’ He held his big belly and laughed.

  The queen smiled too. ‘Oh, I am pleased.’

  ‘Ah,’ said the king, sitting down with a soft thud. ‘She’s not such a bad girl, Belinda.

  ‘I’ve been thinking that too, dear. Do you know, I thought it might be a good idea to get her a tutor.’ The queen folded her neat little hands in her lap and smiled at the king.

  ‘A tutor?’ queried the king. ‘Do you mean a teacher?’

  ‘Yes, if you like. A teacher.’

  ‘Whatever for?’ demanded Stormbelly gruffly.

  ‘Well, to teach her, of course.’

  ‘Yes, yes. I know that. But what’s the point?’

  ‘I know that you have been very worried about Belinda and what will happen to her when she’s older. I thought that if she was taught, then she would stand a better chance later on of finding a husband.’

  King Stormbelly frowned and twisted his whiskers and scratched his head and snorted a bit. They were all signs that he hadn’t got the foggiest idea what he was supposed to be thinking about.

  ‘I don’t see how having a teacher will help,’ he ventured.

  ‘All the other princesses are beautiful and accomplished and will easily find husbands,’ explained the queen. ‘But Be
linda will have to find hers with her brain, if she wants one.’

  ‘Of course she wants one! Whoever heard of a princess who didn’t want a husband?’ snapped Stormbelly.

  ‘Anyway,’ continued the queen, choosing to ignore the king’s last remark, ‘we ought to do something about Belinda’s brain to help her. Don’t you think?’

  Stormbelly didn’t think very much but it seemed to make sense. And he didn’t want Belinda to find things difficult later on. She was a good girl – he’d just beaten her at ‘Snap!’ and that proved it. He gave a small grunt.

  ‘All right. Good idea. Make the arrangements and get her a teacher.’

  So it was that Hiro Ono came to the palace. Hundreds of people from everywhere applied for the post of teacher to the Princess Belinda (it was highly paid), and the queen had private conversations with them all. For days there was a queue over a mile long, stretching out of the palace gates and right

  down into the town. The interviews lasted for over a week and at the end of it the queen announced that Hiro Ono, master tutor from Japan, would be Belinda’s new teacher.

  Belinda wasn’t very happy about it. She didn’t like the look of Hiro Ono, with his strange silk robe that had red and green dragons swirling around on it, and his thin eyes and bent back. He had a wispy beard too, like an old spider’s web caught on his chin. But Hiro Ono smiled at her, and bowed, and they went away together to begin their classes.

  The years passed and Stormbelly hardly saw Belinda. In fact, he almost forgot about

  her altogether. The queen didn’t. She visited Belinda and Hiro Ono every day to see how they were getting on, and day by day Belinda became more and more fond of Hiro Ono because he taught her such fascinating things.

  The other fifteen daughters got married, one by one, each to a rich and handsome prince, and went off to start new lives in their husbands’ castles. Stormbelly’s castle began to seem quite empty and all at once he realized that somewhere in the vast palace he had a sixteenth daughter who wasn’t at all beautiful but it was time she got married. He sent for Belinda.

  She and her mother arrived with Hiro Ono trailing softly behind them, a little more bent with age and his beard a little longer. Belinda had changed too. She was slim and much taller, and her blue eyes were as clear as the blue of a winter sky. Her black hair was cut short, and she regarded her father with a little smile.

  ‘Well,’ declared the king. ‘How you’ve grown!’ Belinda nodded. ‘I hear you’ve been taught a great deal over the last seven years.’

  ‘Yes, Father,’ said Belinda gently.

  ‘Hmmm. Very useful thing, knowledge. So – you’ve learnt lots and lots. Well now, tell me, um, what are three sixes?’

  Belinda shrugged. ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘You don’t know!’ King Stormbelly was cross. He had hoped she would be able to tell him because he didn’t know the answer himself. Belinda turned to Hiro Ono.

  ‘Do you know what three sixes are?’ she asked.

  ‘I know what they aren’t,’ he said slowly. ‘They aren’t a husband. They are not a palace. Nor are they happiness. They are not the clouds enclosing the mighty head of a mountain… ‘

  ‘What is he going on about?’ burst out the king. ‘Is he mad?’

  The queen gently touched her husband on the arm. ‘I think it is Hiro Ono’s way of telling you that it doesn’t matter what three sixes are. They are not important.’

  ‘Not important! But I’ve always wanted to know what three sixes are! All right, then, let’s see how much this nitwit has taught Belinda. Daughter, tell me, what’s the capital city of Rome?’

  The queen nudged him. ‘Rome is a capital city,’ she whispered.

  ‘Oh, all right. What’s the capital city of Spain?’

  Belinda couldn’t answer that either and Stormbelly began to hop from one foot to the other. The queen could see that he was getting ready to kick a few guards and probably Hiro Ono himself.

  ‘Why don’t you ask Belinda to show you what she can do?’ she suggested sweetly.

  ‘Fine, fine. Go ahead. Show us what you can do, though I shall be very surprised if it’s anything at all,’ cried the king, giving Hiro Ono a very dark look.

  Belinda looked slowly about the palace hall. Standing at the foot of the stairs was a large stone statue of a previous king. Belinda walked silently up to it, gazed at it for a few moments then suddenly,

  ‘Aaaaa-HA!’ She gave a great yell, spun round on one foot and launched her other foot at the centre of the statue. There was a splinter of breaking stone and the statue cracked into two separate halves. Even as the top section toppled to the floor, Belinda raised her right arm and sliced the head off with a single blow of her bare hand.

  Stormbelly screamed. ‘Stop! That’s your great-grandfather!’ Belinda grinned back and began to walk up the stairway, chopping the thick wooden banisters into little pieces as she did so. Bits of wood cascaded down at the king’s feet and came tumbling down the steps.

  ‘Guards!’ yelled the king. ‘Stop her before she destroys the whole palace!’ Up went the guards in hot pursuit, but no sooner did they reach Belinda than she sent them flying with a few well-aimed kicks and blows from her hands. Then she came down to the bottom of the stairs, bowed to her father, bowed to Hiro Ono and her mother and sat down, brushing the dust from her clothes.

  Stormbelly sat down too. He collapsed in an armchair. ‘Just what have you been teaching my daughter?’ he managed to whisper at length.

  ‘The ancient Japanese art of karate,’ said Hiro Ono with a little bow.

  Stormbelly shook his head. ‘I can’t believe it. Did she really do that with her bare hands and feet?’

  ‘Of course,’ said Hiro Ono. ‘But karate is about strength of mind, not of hands and feet. Your wife, who is very wise, explained your daughter’s problem to me. Belinda is a very good pupil. She has a very quick brain. Now she can go into the world and you needn’t worry.’

  ‘Needn’t worry!’ cried the king. ‘I shall be terrified with her on the loose, smashing up statues and demolishing staircases all over the place.’

  Hiro Ono began to explain that it wouldn’t be like that at all, but the queen signalled that the king didn’t understand and it wasn’t worth explaining. She persuaded the king to have an afternoon sleep while they cleared up the hall.

  ‘Well, you’ve certainly impressed your father, Belinda,’ laughed the queen when everything was sorted out. ‘Let’s hope you can impress a prince!’

  2

  Belinda’s eventful journey

  The Princess Belinda was not at all sure that she wanted to impress anybody, least of all a prince. She was quite happy learning karate from Hiro Ono. On the other hand, she was sensible enough to see that she couldn’t stay in her father’s palace for ever and would have to go out into the wide world sooner or later.

  Her chance to find a princely husband came sooner than she expected. King Stormbelly received a letter from a far cousin, King Krust. It was a long letter which made Stormbelly grunt and whistle and humph a lot. That meant it was a thoughtful kind of letter and that Stormbelly had to do some thinking.

  What the letter had to say was this. King Krust had heard that Stormbelly had sixteen daughters. He knew that fifteen of them had already married and that their beauty was famed throughout whatever lands they lived in. It so happened that his son, Prince Bruno de Bruno Bunkum Krust, ought to get married and King Krust thought it might be a good idea if Stormbelly’s last daughter married him. No doubt she was as beautiful as all the others, and King Krust was prepared to give his son half a kingdom on his marriage.

  No wonder Stormbelly humphed a lot. It was an offer he couldn’t refuse. The trouble was that Belinda wasn’t at all beautiful, even when she wasn’t chopping her greatgrandfather into little pieces. King Stormbelly thought and thought. He had lots of ideas. Perhaps he could disguise Belinda, dress her up in a lovely dress and put a beautiful blonde wig over her short black hair
? Perhaps she could wear a mask, saying that her beauty was so dazzling that she could only remove it at night?

  He suggested all this to the queen and she burst out laughing. So did Belinda. That made Stormbelly lose his temper. He kicked two guards, hurt his toes and went to bed for a week. When at last he recovered he took Belinda to one side.

  ‘Belinda, you must at least go and see this prince. He’s very handsome and can do sixteen press-ups without stopping. Besides, his father is very rich and half a kingdom is not to be sneezed at.’

  Belinda sighed. ‘But suppose I don’t like him, Father,’ she pointed out.

  ‘Goodness me, child! You don’t have to like him. You only have to marry him.’

  Belinda was so surprised she couldn’t think of an answer. She went to see Hiro Ono and asked his advice.

  ‘You must go,’ he declared. ‘You may not find this prince to your liking, but that won’t matter. You will find that everything will work out as you wish, Belinda, for if you do not wish it, it will not be so.’

  It took Belinda a few minutes to work out what the old Japanese master was saying, but she agreed to go. A few days later she set off, riding in a carriage drawn by four white horses. Hiro Ono and the queen were both sorry to see her go. Belinda promised she would return, and the king said that would be jolly nice, so long as she brought her

  husband with her. The carriage set off in a cloud of dust and left the king coughing and spluttering on the doorstep.

  The journey was long and tiring. Each night they stopped at a different inn and put up for the night, while the horses rested. Then it was back into the carriage straight after breakfast and jolt, jolt, jolt, all day long.

  On the fifth day they ran into trouble. A band of cut-throat robbers came pouring out of the forest, waving their swords and yelling. The horses took fright and bolted. The carriage swayed alarmingly from one side of the track to the other, and poor Belinda was thrown higgledy-piggledy all about inside. First she was on one side, then she was upside-down, then she was under the seat.