A Christmas Homecoming (Bar V5 Ranch)

by Melissa McClone

  “Must be rough having a sick brother or sister.” He came closer, his gaze sympathetic. “This is where I’d give you a hug if I wouldn’t get your clothes all dirty.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I’m sorry for not thinking about the impact Buck’s illness had on you and your parents.”

  “It’s okay. You were a teenager. You couldn’t have known.” She picked up the next gingerbread house—a hospital with a red cross. Clayton had decorated this one. “There are adults who don’t seem to understand when one person gets a diagnosis the entire family is in the fight. They only see the patient.”

  “It might be easier for some not to look deeper.”

  She thought about a former friend of her mother’s. The two had been close until Buck’s illness worsened. “You may be right.”

  “You’re not like that. You see everyone,” Josiah said.

  “That’s because I’ve been there.” Ellie carried the Game Shop to the front table. An intricate pattern of icing and candies made the roof look like a work of art. “Others don’t know.”

  “Know what?”

  “How a disease becomes this huge thing, taking over everything in the family. It’s all anyone can see. At least that’s what happened in mine. I knew my parents loved me, but they were so focused on Buck. They had to be because he could die. But I often felt like I was just sort of there. Sometimes they saw me, other times I wasn’t sure. I understood, adapted the best I could, but I was on my own a lot. One year, my parents forgot my birthday.”

  “Oh, Ellie.” Josiah returned to her, arm awkwardly around her, but hands up in the air. “That must have been horrible.”

  His compassion filled an empty space inside her. She fought the urge to lean into him, to feel a connection if only for a few seconds.

  “Buck was in the hospital then. Really sick. My parents were so afraid he might die.” She and Josiah must look foolish, gloved hands covered in icing and candy yet attempting a hug, but she didn’t care. Being close to him made her feel better. “Stuff like that happened. A lot. It was no one’s fault. But life was unpredictable. Plans changed all the time. Nothing was ever set. All because of some stupid disease.”

  He leaned closer, hands away from her. “Still has to hurt.”

  Ellie nodded, appreciating the comfort and sympathy. She’d had none for so long. Her parents tried, but they were caught up in their own grief and trying to deal with that. She didn’t want to add to their burdens. But here, now, with Josiah, she could soak up what he had to give, create a reserve she could call upon when she was alone again.

  “Is this why you were so quiet when you were younger?” he asked.

  She shrugged, but didn’t move away from him. “I felt selfish when I wanted to complain. My parents were going through so much and at their breaking point. So I stayed quiet and was on my best behavior.”

  “You were a good girl.”

  His words were a compliment, but she fought the urge to laugh. That was what she did when she got nervous. “Except for spying on my brother and his friend, yeah, I was a good girl. Some would say I still am.”

  That earned her a smile.

  “You keep surprising me.” Josiah let go and went back to cleaning. “I imagine each kid handles this kind of situation in their own way.”

  She nodded. “Some try to be on their best behavior. Others look for trouble so they can get attention. A few go completely off the rails. That’s why I started Buck’s Place. Kids can come here. Talk. Find out they’re not alone, and that it’s okay to let their feelings out. They don’t have to be quiet. They can be heard.”

  Josiah brought his hand up to her face and then stopped as if seeing his fingers were covered in icing. “You’re filling a need I hadn’t realized existed.”

  Confidence poured through her, but Ellie was getting carried away like she always did when Buck’s Place came up in a discussion. She picked up Santa’s Workshop. “I’m going on and on. Once I start talking, it’s hard to stop. Sorry.”

  “No need to apologize. You’re passionate.”

  “Some might say obsessed.”

  “It’s a fine line between the two.”

  Most appreciated what she was doing, but not many looked deeper into what this truly meant to her. “You would understand that.”

  Her gaze met his. Something passed between them, a connection, not from the past but here in the present. The link had nothing to do with her brother, and everything to do with the two of them. Her heartbeat roared in her ears.

  Josiah returned to clearing tables. “Having something like Buck’s Place must really help these kids.”

  “I like to think so, but there’s so much more I’d love to do.”

  “What’s stopping you?”

  “Money. Time. Money.”

  “Those are the biggies.”

  What would a billionaire know about that? She let it go. He’d been nice, comforted her. Plus, she knew he hadn’t grown up wealthy. Far from it.

  “The kids don’t expect activities like this every week,” she said. “Sometimes we have study sessions with tutors or play games. We had counselors come in and lead a group discussion, then do one-on-one talks.”

  “They were okay with that?”

  He sounded surprised. She understood. “Having someone to listen only to them. Oh, yeah. I’d love to get individualized mentoring started for the high school kids.”

  A spot of icing was on his left cheek. She walked toward him and then wiped it off.

  His eyes widened, but he didn’t draw back.

  Her face was so close to his. All she had to do was rise up on her tiptoes and brush her lips against his.

  Ellie could kiss him, except she was...scared. She showed him the icing on her finger instead. “Looks like new gloves might be in order.”

  “Or I can borrow your phone again, call a local cleaning crew, and let them do the dirty work, while we go out to eat.”

  The crackle in the air returned with a bang. Temptation flared, and visions of a romantic candlelight dinner for two made her want to say please. A fantasy played out, one she longed to escape into. But she needed to keep her daydreams where they belonged...in her mind. Safer that way.

  She bit her lip and handed him new gloves. “Must be nice to have that option.”

  “It doesn’t suck.” He went back to cleaning. “What kind of budget does your group have?”

  “Not much. We haven’t fundraised yet, but we receive in-kind donations like supplies for the gingerbread houses or snacks for meetings. We’re a 501c3 thanks to Mia Zabrinski, a lawyer in town.”

  “Do you pay for the rest yourself?”

  “I don’t mind.” Ellie rolled up one of the plastic tablecloths. “This is important.”

  “Very. But you shouldn’t fund this on your own. Philanthropic foundations give grants to organizations.”

  “I’ve been working on that. I submitted a proposal to a group in Billings early last month, but I haven’t heard back. I’m not sure everything was ready to be sent out yet.”

  “I’ll look over what you’ve put together.”

  Ellie’s stomach roiled. Tanner had said the same thing. She’d felt like an idiot when he laughed at her proposal draft and later when he’d offered to make her feel better. “I should review it first.”

  “Fresh eyes can see things you’ll gloss over. I’ll let you know if there’s something wrong and help you fix it so Buck’s Place can get the funds it needs.”

  A guest wanting to volunteer and offering to look over her nonprofit plan? This sounded like history repeating itself. But Josiah was different, wasn’t he?

  “I have a foundation separate from Whit Tech,” he continued. “Someone manages everything for me. There’s a small staff, but giving out grants is what we do. Apply.”

  Her racing heart was all she could hear. Tanner had never suggested that. He’d written her a check and then used that to accuse her of blackmailing him. “Really?”
>
  Josiah nodded. “I’ll get your application fast-tracked with my seal of approval. I’ll make a personal donation in the meanwhile so you don’t have to fund activities during the meetings.”

  Tears stung the corners of her eyes. She forced herself to breathe. She wanted to fling herself into Josiah’s arms. But she’d done that yesterday.

  “You have no idea what this means to me. What it’ll mean to the kids.” Warm and fuzzy feelings grabbed hold. She never wanted the feeling to end. “Words seem inadequate. I don’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t have to say anything, okay?”

  Nodding, Ellie hoped she wouldn’t regret this. She shouldn’t. Josiah could deliver on what he said he’d do. He wasn’t lying. But Tanner had taught her to be wary of people—men—who offered help. He’d used sweet talk and kisses to make her believe he wouldn’t disappoint her like others had.

  She’d learned words were easy to say and kisses didn’t always mean something. She’d avoided kisses since August. But the thought of being under the mistletoe with Josiah made her wonder if she should stop her ban on kissing.

  Ellie could put an end to it right now. Mistletoe sprigs were in her coat pocket. Earlier today, she’d been hanging them in the rooms and cabins of guests arriving today and tomorrow. Her red jacket hung on the back of a chair twenty feet from her.

  So close.

  Josiah wasn’t far away either.

  Smiling, he cleared off the last table. His lips drew her gaze. Full lips. Soft-looking lips. Kissable lips.

  Her breath quickened and warmth spread through her.

  If a simple look could make her react so strongly, the mistletoe needed to stay in her pocket. Continuing to avoid kisses was her smartest move.

  At least through December until Jonah left the Bar V5.

  Ellie was a survivor, but she wasn’t stupid.

  She shouldn’t set herself up to be disappointed. Again.

  Hours later, sitting in Nate’s office, Josiah struggled to keep his eyelids open. But spending time with Ellie made the tiredness worth it. She was sweet and driven to make Buck’s Place a success in a way he hadn’t expected. That was attractive. Okay, sexy.

  He found himself not only wanting to help her, but also to kiss her. He almost had, until common sense set in. He hadn’t wanted to take advantage of her, not after she’d been so open about what she’d gone through growing up and with the married jerk.

  Josiah sat forward in his chair, afraid if he reclined, he’d fall asleep. “What do you think about me helping out with Ellie’s organization?”

  “You look exhausted.” Nate studied him. “Is it going to be like this every time?”

  “No.” Ellie hadn’t been kidding about what she had to do tonight. He’d survived and not fallen asleep. His muscles ached only a little. “She did most of the work. Made me take it easy. Still this is a good tired. I had fun.”

  “Cleaning?”

  “That was only one part of the evening.” Nate’s skepticism brought a smile to Josiah’s tired face. Ellie’s happiness had been his reward for dealing with the icing and candy mess. “You should see the kids’ gingerbread entry. Ellie and the kids glued different sized boxes together and painted them white to make a backdrop for their North Pole Village. Each house has a special place in the display.”

  Nate leaned back in his chair. “Are you going to the stroll on Saturday?”

  Josiah wanted to say yes because of Ellie. She wouldn’t miss a big Christmas event like that. But attending a holiday celebration didn’t interest him. He needed to be smart about his recovery. “No. Dr. Gallagher wants me to take daily walks, but the stroll might be pushing it.”

  “That’s progress.”

  “What?”

  “Admitting the stroll might be too much.” Nate moved a stack of papers to the other side of his desk. “That’s the first time you’ve done that since you got sick.”

  Josiah’s jaw ached. “Sound the trumpets.”

  Nate grinned. “Already cued them.”

  His using humor to try to make Josiah feel better wasn’t helping. “Accepting things are different is hard. I’m used to being able to do what I want. Without limitations.”

  “This is temporary.”

  Six months to a year. Maybe Dr. Roscoe had mentioned the recovery time, but Josiah hadn’t been able to keep everything straight in the hospital. The heavy feeling in his stomach had nothing to do with the burger and fries he’d eaten on the drive back to the Bar V5. Ellie’s choice. She’d thought eating at a restaurant would take too long and tire him out.

  “Doing something with Buck’s Place will help me,” he said.

  Nate rubbed the back of his neck. “Volunteering isn’t something you normally do.”

  “I have a multimillion dollar philanthropic foundation.”

  “You wrote a big, fat check to get it started. Others run the organization and distribute the grants. You show up for the photo ops.”

  Josiah stared at a picture of the old Bar V5, a nondescript, single story ranch house. Nothing about this remodeled lodge resembled the original. “I don’t have time for anything more. Or didn’t. Until now.”

  “Bored?”

  “Hell, yes.” He laughed. “Two days in, and the walls in my room are closing in on me.”

  Nate shook his head. “It hasn’t been a day and a half yet which only proves you’re a workaholic SOB.”

  “Learned that from my mentor.”

  “Blame me if you want to.” Nate drummed his fingers against the desk. “You’re sure about helping Ellie?”

  “Yes, and volunteering won’t conflict with my appointments to see Dr. Gallagher, the physical therapist, and Siena. I’ll be having a massage with her next week.”

  “One massage won’t be enough.”

  “That’s what I hear from multiple parties.” But Josiah wasn’t buying into the hype. “If she’s that good, a massage can be my reward for volunteering.”

  Nate laughed. “Go ahead. Help Ellie. But don’t overdo it.”

  The tension in Josiah’s shoulders released. “I won’t.”

  “This might keep you off the computer in the study.”

  “Not much I can do without WiFi, but I’ve been toying with an idea for an app.”

  Nate shook his head. “An hour a day. No more. Or I’ll remove the computer.”

  “You’re no fun.”

  “Your definition of fun is different from mine. But I would like to know what kind of fun you want to have with Ellie. Any that goes beyond volunteering?”

  Josiah stiffened, his throat tight. “You sound like a big brother, not a boss.”

  “Here on the ranch, it can be a fine distinction, one that my partner is better at than me.” Nate rested his elbows on the desk. “Ty punched me for breaking Rachel’s heart. I deserved getting hit, and that stopped me from being so stupid. I got off easy, but you have to be careful around big brothers.”

  “Buck’s no longer here.”

  “That’s why his friends look out for Ellie.” Nate’s dark gaze bored into Josiah. “I saw the way you looked at her when you got home a little while ago. Not exactly brotherly.”

  Busted. But not really. “Nothing’s going on. Ellie wants to help everyone she meets. The kids she brings together need the group, but Ellie needs direction or she’ll burn out, and Buck’s Place will end. I don’t know much about nonprofits, including my own, but I sure as hell can find someone who does.”

  “So you just want to help?”

  “I just want to help,” Josiah repeated. “I get why you’re overprotective. Ellie mentioned some married guy. Sounds like a real player.”

  “Did she tell you what happened?”

  “No, but I can fill in the blanks.”

  “Not sure you can on this one,” Nate said.

  Curiosity demanded answers. But Josiah took his time replying. He didn’t want to sound too interested. “So, fill me in.”

  “Rich pretty boy
shows up for a week of playing cowboy with his college buddies. Think dudes with popped collars. He figures a fling with the help would be fun, so takes off his wedding ring and cranks up the charm. But when his wife shows up out of the blue, he tries to get Ellie fired and when that doesn’t work, makes false accusations to get her arrested. Threatens a lawsuit. Gets real nasty.”

  Heat poured through Josiah’s body. He gritted his teeth. No wonder she’d been hesitant to accept help. “Crap. She must have been terrified. And hurt.”

  “Real bad. But a couple of Buck’s friends had a talk with the guy. Don’t know what they said or if punches were thrown, but no one ever saw or heard from him again.”

  “Looks like people have Ellie’s back.”

  “I don’t have to tell you how loved Buck was in Marietta.”

  “He was my friend, too.” One of Josiah’s only friends in high school. “I’d never hurt his sister.”

  “Good, because Ellie has many surrogate big brothers, including a few you don’t want to mess with unless you’re up for plastic surgery.”

  Josiah shifted in his chair. “Sounds like a warning.”

  “Stating facts.” Nate’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Ellie’s pretty and sweet, but nothing like the women you’re used to dealing with in the Bay Area. She’s not some plaything to keep you from being bored while you’re here.”

  “I know that.” The words exploded from Josiah’s mouth. He swallowed. No reason to feel guilty. He’d been thinking of kissing her, not having sex with her. “This is about helping Ellie with Buck’s Place. Nothing else.”

  But maybe he should stop thinking about mistletoe so much.

  Chapter Seven

  The next morning, Josiah stood in the mudroom, ready for his walk with Ellie. Sunlight streamed through the wood-pane window, giving him a hint of what was to come. He tapped the toe of his snow boot against the floor.

  Where was Ellie?

  He glanced at the clock on the wall. Not quite eleven, their meeting time.

  The smells of lunch cooking drifted from the kitchen through the doorway. His stomach grumbled. Strange, given he felt full from breakfast.

  Benches lined one wall. Shoes filled the cubbies underneath. He sat, not wanting to wear himself out before the walk.