Squirrel Cage

by Cindi Jones

  I’m sure my life expectancy will likely suffer as a result. I have diabetes. I often will stay up nights on end pursuing a new project. I will lose track of time, days, and sometimes weeks. I forget to eat. This project of my life’s story is such a project. It is my first book.

  I now work for myself designing and building furniture of all things. I can no longer work for someone else. There are too many very cool projects waiting in cue for me to work on. I can’t waste time. They must be done.

  There is a novel or two in that list and I’m anxious to get to them.

  My life story might read better if I had ended it with “and they lived happily ever after”. But this last chapter is important. My Squirrel, my muse, the drive and ambition of my life has pushed me to do extraordinary things.

  I’m not living happily ever after. I am living. I still have bills to pay. I still get to feed the dogs every morning. I’m still being pushed by Squirrel. Life goes on.

  Epilogue

  Leaving my children was the hardest thing I have ever done. Nothing is so great as a parent’s love for her children. My daughter and son are held very close to my heart. With few exceptions, I have omitted including them in this volume, for they are the true victims of one of life’s great tragedies. They lost their father and could never understand why. Justifiably, from their social perspective, I abandoned them. It has always been and always shall be a soul crushing experience to not be a part of their lives. I hope that someday, we can discuss openly what drove me from their home and come together as a complete family.

  Many people told me when I started my life’s journey that I would be living a lie. I worried about this for many years as I made the transition from male to female. Almost 20 years have passed since I had the surgeries and officially changed my gender. I can honestly tell you that I am not living a lie. I am living life.

  I still face struggles. Squirrel continues to run in her exercise wheel. She pushes and she prods. It is because of her that I continuously reinvent myself. The new Rusty comes back to me in nightmares but it isn’t so often now. I understand the beast. I’ll cut off his tail one of these days and I’ll put him outside for everyone to see.

  I have had the unique opportunity to see life from both sides; male and female. I have lived much more than a full life. I have lived two lifetimes. No one should be so blessed.

  Have I regrets? Perhaps. But I prefer to call them mistakes. I’ve done everything that I can to resolve my mistakes. I love my family. They love me.

  I love my life.

  The End… or is it a new beginning?

  Thank you for sharing your time to read my story. I truly hope that some piece of it will carry you through your next crisis, your next meeting, or just a boring afternoon. If you enjoyed this book or found it helpful in any way, it would be very helpful if you would kindly leave a review on amazon.com. I thank you from the bottom of my heart

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  Table of Contents

  Start