The Fell Good Flue

by Miller, Robin

  Brandy, “then it’s a party even if only half of them come, sounds like a list to me.” I said, “it’s going to be dark before too long, I better send out the invites and put a call in for the meat, unless you just want me to shoot something from the roof.”

  Brandy, “another dear would be nice, do you see one out there?”

  I looked out and said, “no, but there is a rat, now make that a fat snake. What a minute, now make that a well feed mountain lion, hand me my rifle.”

  She gave it to me, and I got the scope on him as it was ripping another chunk off to swallow. A near strait down shot of thirty stories, and as I squeezed the trigger I could hear the blast in my mind before it went off, as I was not wearing my earplugs again. Bang! It went off and the baby started crying.

  Brandy went to him as she said, “did you get him?”

  I said, “what? My ears are still ringing, but I think I hit it.”

  Something was down there in the shadows, but I could not make out movement. Brandy comforted little Sage and stopped his crying, as I keep a close eye on the spot fired upon. I said, “maybe we have mountain cat for BBQ.”

  Brandy, “no thank you, they smell bad to me.”

  I said, “even if I just winged him, someone will eat the cat that ate the snake that ate the rat. Would you rather have rat?”

  She said, “I don’t even want the snake, bear meat will do if there is not enough dear.” I said, “don’t worry, soon there will be a dog looking for that cat, I’ll take them both and feed the loser to our guest that come late.”

  Brandy, “that’s why I’m eating early, and I better see some fur so I know what’s being cooked.” I said, “the bear has already lost his, so you will just have to trust it’s not dog.” She said, “and I sleep in your bed, you will just have to trust that I don’t start sleep walking while sharpening your sword.”

  I said, “and some people think it’s easy to plan a party.”

  Brandy, “no, they think it’s easy to party, not plan one.”

  I said, ”it is easy to party, but the concept of getting others to become part of an emotion held at a certain time and place, is where it turns from party to partying.”

  Brandy, “baby, if you were any deeper I would have to come up for air just to understand.” I said, “I’m not sure what you just meant by that, but I think Dizzy said it to me once.” She said, “yes, she told me to try to use it, and see if it brought back any memories.” I said, “memories are all we are, from moment to moment, when not in sight.” Brandy, “well then I guess Daisy will be able to come.”

  I said, “and so will the rest, look, it’s a party already. Now all I have to do is let them know, it’s no fun being at a party you don’t know about.”

  She said, “you have had your share of them, and you were there at the time.” I said, “we have both seen our share of those, was it last night or the one before it?” Brandy, “it may be tonight as well, I don’t know. They’re your memories, you need to take care of them.”

  I said, “should we send the invites out by street drum or written invitations?” Brandy, “old fashion written would be nice, do we have any hundred dollar bills to write on?” I said, “those are just for starting fires, use the bleached paper.”

  So we wrote them up, and I had the next rooftop guard send them by runner, and word was given as to what I needed. Then we started to get things ready, with more chairs on the roof and a good fire in the barbeque going. We started kidding around and she said something about daisy, and I said the two of them were going to drive me crazy one day, so she said they had thought about a threesome but decided I was not ready yet -- but they would let me know. I said I was not going to write that one down. Soon Jacob showed up and said he got the invite, and a bobcat had been shot in the street below.

  I said, “good, bring it on up, the fire will be ready soon.”

  Brandy said, “nonsense, we are not eating cat tonight, but that was a nice shot dear.” Jacob, “you shot it Nibor? From here was a good shot. Where were you standing?” Brandy, “he was sitting in his chair by the widow at the time, looking for a fresh dear for tonight, woke the baby and made him cry.”

  I said, “made me cry too, I have got to start wearing those ear plugs.”

  Jacob, “well now that one will be something to talk about tonight, if you need any help here just let me know.”

  Brandy, “when there are more of you they can help him move the music system.” I said, “don’t worry, I can make it light work.”

  Then in came Billy, saying he had some time off tonight and was ready to help party. So us three men went downstairs, and I showed them to the far side of my building. On the way we passed the vet and I said this was the music system, then I showed them a battery powered pallet jack. We moved it into place and strapped in, then Billy steered the car as I towed it with the jack, and Jacob pushed. It moved rather well, and we lost Jacob about thirty feet from the platform, then came to a fast stop. After taking the power jack off, we rode up with the corvette and the music playing, “here I am -- rocking like a hurricane.”

  Jacobs wife Barb was standing there with Brandy, as we arrived on the roof with or theatrical presentation, and as the platform came fully in place said, “so this is the music system you went to get, pop the trunk so we can see it.”

  So I reached in and hit the trunk release to reveal the big boomers. It was a fully packed system that took up all the space, and could put out so heavy that glasses nearby would break, but I would not crank it up that high. Billy was first standing next to it saying, “that’s some system, no wonder you have that palette of batteries to run it with.”

  Barb, “yes, I can see why you needed help moving it, none of you have valid driver’s licenses anymore.”

  Brandy, “he has already been told not to even try to start it on the roof.”

  I said, “no, you only said not to drive it around up here, so I don’t go over the edge.” Barb, “Nibor, everyone knows you went over the edgea long time ago.”

  Brandy, “that’s true, but I’m trying to keep him from doing it in a car.”

  We then walked past the flyers and my practice area, to the barbeque setup and patio as Teddy zipped in. He had a big pack for Brandy, and put it down near the grill saying, “got the invite, here’s the meat.”

  Brandy, “you didn’t stop by the street on the way did you?”

  Teddy, “as a matter of fact I did, but this is bear and dear meat. I’m told the cat pelt down there went to Dan the tanner for you, someone got trade for the meat, but I don’t know about the rest of the snake. They tell me the shot was made from up here.”

  I said, “yes, but the ringing in my ear from it has been replaced now.”

  Teddy, “nice sound.”

  Brandy, “thank you for bringing the meat for us Teddy. Will you be having anyone with you, or are you hoping Daisy will show up?”

  Teddy, “my hopes about Dizzy Daisy driving me crazy, are all made up by you and her, and I think you are trying to slip me in to keep her attention off Nibor. And I don’t want to let my friends down by not doing all I can, but we all know Daisy never leaves her place.” Barb, “yes Teddy, we all know what a giving man you are. So which woman are you giving it to this week, and will we meet her?”

  Teddy, “they should be by soon, I thought it best to check before bringing people. Do you mind if the Anvil sisters join us?”

  I said, “none of us mind those two coming.”

  Brandy, “careful how you spell that dear, we would love to have them.”

  Jacob, “careful how you say that as well.”

  Barb, “coming from you it better well be.”

  I said, “it’s starting to sound like a party already, lets pass that wine around.” So a few bottles were opened and meat was put on the fire. Night was coming quickly, and the zip-lines were soon herd again with Laurence and Betty with him. We welcomed them to the party as TT showed up with two women with him, then Billy
’s girl came by as a guide for Stan who had brought Moonshine Molly. It was getting to be a large party when the Anvil sisters got there for Teddy, then Harry came by with his assistances. They drove down the street in their Land rover blowing their horn, and took a tow line up zipping up.

  I said, “Harry, I can’t believe you made it, and you got the vehicle running. Will it need to set until morning to run again?”

  Harry, “not this time, I put extra batteries in it, and a small diesel engine just in case. I hope it does not get away from me again.”

  I said, “if it does, we may not find it for days this time, have a seat.”

  So we sat with some others and the food was passed around. Harry was a real conversation piece as most never saw him, but all had heard of his work and the two assistances. They were not twins but looked alike, and one once had plastic surgery to make her breast as nice as the other’s, they would always try to get people to guess which and did not mind leaving their tops off until everyone was sure.

  Billy said, “I can tell for sure if I feel them.”

  And Billy’s girl said, “if you do they’re the only ones you’re going to feel.”

  TT had brought more smoke with him and I passed out some brownies as well, so we were having a pretty good time. I’m sure Harry broughtmore mushrooms, but I didn’t have any. Before long several games of hide and seek were played by my guest on one of the other thirty stories, and I’m sure Billy found what he was looking for, but all made it back to the party at one time or the other. The controlled chaos went on for hours into the night, and all had a good time. We laughed about when Brandy asked what to cook, and I shot a mountain lion from my window and said cat, I still can’t believe I made that hit. We used my night scope to look around with, and everyone got a chance to try it, TT said Daisy was waving. Moonshine Molly said she liked Stan’s tea better than her Moonshine, and was more sober that I had seen her in awhile. The two of them seemed to be getting along well, and she said she would break a bottle over any women’s head that tried to take him away. I’m not sure that he knew she meant it.

  Stan said, “you people sure know how to throw a party, I’m going to love living in this town.” I said, “yes well we believe that all we are is only memories, so you better make some good ones.”

  Stan, “I am most definitely making some good memories tonight.”

  Brandy, “we are always glad to be part of a memory.”

  TT, “but some are not glad to have you in theirs, despite their generous natures, bad trade with these two can scar you.”

  Stan, “from what I’ve seen, just a scar is lucky. And from the way I’ve seen some people act, much less than deserved. That’s why he was needed to help me get my cargo to town, once I decided to trade.”

  TT, “Jacob and Nibor have worked for me for many years, they have never failed, a reputation that cannot be shared with many.”

  Harry, “yes, others of us must make a reputation at trying more often than anyone else, and what would research be without lovely research assistances,” and he playfully bit one. She yelled, “ouch! That better not burse, or you will be able to tell us apart.” We all laughed and he said, “I’m trying, my research is not complete yet.”

  Stan, “well I’ve been doing some research too, and there is a piece of land not being used nearby, that may be worth trying to crop with my horses. But it would take a part time commitment for a long time from many, to get it to put out, if we could get it that far.” TT, “I told him he had my full support, but I could not do the same for others.” Brandy, “I think Nibor had a vision of this the other night.”

  I said, “I had a number of them, but I think we should give it a try, we need more open ground field crops.”

  Brandy, “he has a dream of planting weed all around the outside rows so people will not notice it’s a food crop inside.”

  TT, “I’m having the same dream now, am I drooling?”

  Brandy, “maybe Harry can come up with a genetic splice for us to grow weed-wheat.” Jacob, “you’re making me hungry again, and I’m full already.”

  Harry, “I may be able to come up with something, but making weed bread is so much easier with the separate products, and it lights up easier too.”

  I said, “talking about lighting up, check out this new pipe I got from the museum.” And I passed it around for people to look at and try. Soon the hour got much latter and the battery power got low, people started to go home, all thanking us for a great time. We cleaned things up a bit then went to bed ourselves, havingmade it through another party with friends.

  The next morning I slipped out of bed before the light and went down to my gym to use the Jacuzzi, finding it had bend cleaned and refilled with hot water, I slipped in and let the bubbles work their magic. I did not use this much, and appreciated the fact that my guest were so considerate to leave things clean. There was of course leftover underwear that I did not recognize, but at least it was not in the water. Brandy came in carrying Sage at her breast and said, “I see they left this clean, or did you get a very early start?”

  I said, “we both seem to be getting a early start today, it’s not even light out yet, but I didn’t clean in here.”

  “I see,” she said, as she picked up a pair of panties with her toes and tossed them to the side of the room, “that would explain the underwear. Someone had a good time down here last night.”

  Then she sat Sage down and dropped her robe to step in with me.

  Setting on my lap she said, “someone is sure relaxed this morning, this thing must be doing its job.”

  I said, “I think I feel a part tightening up.”

  She turned the bubbles up high, and we embraced the moment with a wet massage that had much splashing before we were done. Luckily little Sage was placed in a dry area, but that never stopped him. After the three of us were dry again we went back to our liven room, and got dressed. The sun was up now, and we were hunger to greet the day, but first breakfast. I said, “what’s left over from last night to eat?”

  Brandy, “you have already been there, but I guess you’re still hungry, let me see what’s in the kitchen.”

  I said, “I am going to write that one down.”

  She said, “I still say we should set up video, the Jacuzzi would have been the place to record last night, and this morning as well. In a few years I myself may not believe some of the things we have done, I think this morning counts.”

  I said, “don’t worry, I’m taking notes, I keep the extra copies on the third shelf of the adult book store and porn shop.”

  Brandy, “like you have time to make copies, but that’s a sweet thought dear. Next time you’re there pick me up some new whips, mine are getting frail.”

  I said, “got to keep those rats in line.”

  Biscuits and gravy later we drank tea and listened to the drums on the street about the day to come. This was light enough for me, as I was still a bit full from last night. The word on the wind was men needed to work a field, brush removal and lookouts, and the location was just where I knew it would be.

  Brandy said, “so he’s moving ahead with it, not just party talk last night.”

  I said, “yes, it seems our trader Stan is planning a day of showing how much he believes in this place.”

  She said, “will you go?”

  I said, “how can I not, after saying I’m in?”

  Brandy, “well just remember you are not a horse, you’re the best eyes and weapon they have, save your strength for the fight.”

  I said, “at first the fight will be with the ground, and it will not give up easily.” She said, “yes, they will have to spend much time on open ground to work it, and will need someone to keep a close eye on their backs while they do it. The sight of you making sure they are safe will bring more hands than watching your back in a field.”

  I said, “I bet I can get a lot of people to come watch my backside.”

  Brandy, “yes but not much gets done do
ing it, afterwards maybe, but not just by watching it.” I said, “you got a point there, and it’s the afterwards that tires me out as well, so I better stick to keeping my part time backside in high places scouting.”

  She said, “as long as you’re not scouting for the wrong backside with your scope.” I said, “who even has time for such thoughts with you to fill me, so thanks for a chance to bring back old memories. Daisy told me to try using that on you, to see if it brought back anything.” Brandy, “was that before or when you dropped off the brownies?”

  I said, “I never landed when I dropped them.”

  She said, “I see, and so did you, but that’s not answering the question.”

  I said, “I know, see how much fun it is to talk about Dizzy.”

  Brandy, “that’s Daisy, she only makes men dizzy.”

  I said, “and so do conversations about her, so kiss me and tell me to shut up.” She planted a large one on me and said, “I’ll shut you up with thoughts that will tire you out too much to talk, so use those lips for nonverbal communication.”

  I said, “this is how not getting anything done starts.”

  Brandy, “no that was the water, we are making progress now, you have had your breakfast.” I said, “so I guess I should show the world I’m not the last to get moving after last night’s party.” She said, “just part of the town will do, your legend will spread far and wide.” So I geared up, and took the flyer, waving at a few people as I went. Over the buildings and past the mall was the field people were working on, and I scouted the area far and wide for large animals or outsiders. The stream that ran past it would be handy for irrigation, but also attracted anything else that was thirsty, and the brush hid things well. So my sweep ran both ways to double check not missing something, then I put it down near the field. Stan was walking a horse to pull some brush and said, “I’m glad someone took a good look around, we can only see so far in some of this area.”

  I said, “don’t see any armies coming, but I may have missed something, still a snake is your biggest worry out here.”