The Shadow Behind Her Smile
Page 24
She had no choice but to endure the endless roll of memories...
Part 3 – Fiddlers Creek
The First Healing
August, 1963
“Mum’s going to kill me if I can’t find it,” moaned Kate despondently.
Seated beside her on the grassy sideline of the football field, Heather looked appropriately sympathetic. “Maybe she won’t be mad. Your mum’s really cool.”
“You don’t understand,” cried Kate. “Her mum gave it to her when she was a girl. It’s been in the family forever!”
“Oh,” was all Heather could think to say.
Jane’s normally forgiving nature would be put to the test if Kate had to admit to losing the gold bracelet she had been given only last night, an obvious balm to soothe the blow of Maggie’s sudden departure – although her mother was not so crass as to admit that was the reason. The gift was conditional on Kate agreeing to only wear it on special occasions, but this morning she had been unable to resist putting it on to show Heather.
The bracelet was a thoughtful gesture on her mother’s part, but it was woefully inadequate compensation for losing someone as dear to her as Maggie. Maggie was family, and a pretty bauble, no matter its value or the sentiment behind it, would never make up for her loss.
Things weren't going be the same without Maggie’s quietly reassuring presence. No one answered her endless questions as patiently as Maggie, or had such vast knowledge and experience on such a wide range of subjects. She wasn’t the easiest person to get along with, Kate knew, from observing her interactions with other people, particularly her mother, but there had never been any disagreement or tension between them. They had a special bond Kate only now appreciated.
But of course she’d had to go. Her family needed her, and as Jane McDermott often reminded Kate and her brothers, Family Is Everything. When the rest of the world forgets who you are and your friends turn their backs, your family will always be there to shelter you from the storm. Family loves and protects you when no one else will.
But surely there had been time to say goodbye? Or to write a short note with a forwarding address so Kate could write to her? Yet there had been nothing. Just a verbal message saying she wasn’t coming back. Her mother was strangely upset over Maggie’s departure and it occurred to Kate that maybe she cared for the old woman more than she let on.
Kate could see her mum, Lou, Jack and Sam standing on the opposite side of the football field, cheering encouragement to Simon’s team, in concert with the families and friends of his teammates. It was the final match of the footy season and the selectors of the new rep team were choosing players based on their performance during the match. Simon planned to be on that team if it killed him, and Kate hoped desperately that he made it – especially if she couldn’t find the bracelet. Any distraction was a good distraction.
“Don’t worry; we’ll find it. We should go back and check the netball courts,” said Heather helpfully.
The two girls trekked back across the car park to the netball courts where they had been practicing their shooting a few minutes before. Kate had no idea where the bracelet had fallen off, but that was as good a place as any to start looking. Heather bounced her ball across the grassy surface of the court as they retraced their steps. Two girls in shorts and t-shirts were standing right where Kate and Heather had been playing earlier. One was taking shots at goal while the other ate pink chips from a brown paper bag. Kate and Heather both groaned when they realised who it was.
The one feeding her face spied the approaching pair and called out defiantly, “We were here first!” She crumpled the empty paper bag in her hands and dropped it carelessly on the ground. “Get lost, losers!”
That was Larissa, the younger sister of Simon’s nemesis, Bulldog French. Bulldog and Simon were on the same footy team, but to Bulldog's immense disgust, Simon was captain, which meant Bulldog had to do what Simon told him. He didn’t like it one bit, and by extension, neither did Larissa. The girl with her was their cousin Freddie, who was a year or so younger than Larissa. While not so arbitrarily nasty as Larissa, she was tarred with the same brush. The two girls stood with hands on hips and identical glares on their faces, daring Kate and Heather to come any closer.
“Take a chill pill, ‘Rissa,” replied Heather with a scowl. “We’re just looking for something. You didn’t happen to find a gold bracelet lying around here, did you?” Heather was on slightly better terms with Larissa than Kate, due simply to her being a year older and three inches taller.
Larissa hastily put her hands behind her back.
“What’s that on your wrist, Larissa?” accused Kate. “Let me have a look.” Kate took a step toward her, but Larissa clutched her wrist with her other hand, making it impossible for Kate to get a good look.
Larissa glowered and backed away. “It’s mine! I got it for my birthday last week.”
“Your birthday was six months ago!” declared Heather knowingly.
“Just let me have a look,” cajoled Kate irritably.
“No! Leave me alone!” Larissa abruptly went on the attack, pushing Kate backward with both hands.
Kate stumbled but managed to keep her feet. She leapt at Larissa and grabbed hold of her hand, gripping it tightly. “If it really is your bracelet, then there's nothing to worry about, is there?” she said, gritting her teeth. “I just want to see it!”
The two girls struggled as Larissa tried to extricate her hand from Kate’s grasp. Kate managed to get hold of the bracelet and tried to pull it off over Larissa’s hand. Heather grabbed Larissa’s other hand and Freddie ran off, yelling for her mother.
Abruptly, Larissa stopped struggling and Kate pulled the bracelet over her hand, letting out a wild, triumphant cry as she did so. Heather dropped Larissa’s other hand and she and Kate huddled close to inspect their prize.
“Yes!” yelled Kate, jumping up and down. The initials on the back of the clasp confirmed it was hers. Jane need never know it had been lost.
Kate turned toward Larissa and was about to call her a lying thief, but the words never made it out of her mouth. Larissa was on her knees, clutching her throat and gasping for air. All the colour had drained from her face. Each breath she took was an agonizing, gasping wheeze that seemed to go on forever. The two friends looked down at her and then at each other, frozen with fear and sudden guilt. Did they do this to her?
Kate was the first one to snap out of her stupor. She crouched down facing Larissa and gently placed one hand on her shoulder. “What is it ‘Rissa? What’s wrong?”
Larissa had no breath to spare for speech.
“I’ll go and get help,” said Heather, taking off back toward the football field where a crew of St John’s Ambulance volunteers had set up a tent.
Kate sat on the grass behind the wheezing girl and drew her backward. Larissa collapsed gratefully against her, looking fearfully up into Kate’s face and gripping her arm in desperate entreaty. Panic filled her eyes as she struggled to push air through her swollen throat. She forced out a croak that sounded like a cry for help. Kate felt a prickle of tears behind her eyes, but blinked them away angrily. Crying wouldn’t help anyone, though she didn’t know what else to do. She really didn’t like Larissa – there was too much bad blood between them – but she didn’t want her to die!
“It’ll be alright, ‘Rissa. Try not to worry; help will be here soon,” Kate reassured the other girl in a quivering voice, hoping the words didn't sound as hollow to Larissa's ears as they did to hers. She looked toward the football field for some sign of rescue, but there was nothing. What was taking so long?
Larissa closed her eyes and Kate’s fears grew even grimmer. ‘Rissa’s chest didn’t seem to be moving and Kate had to strain now to hear each wheezing breath. Her lips were blue and her fingers felt icy on Kate’s warm arm. “Hang on, just a little bit longer,” she whispered, close to tears again.
Kate’s thoughts flashed back to the day she and Larissa first met, on thei
r very first day of school. After pushing the memory to the back of her mind for so long, it was a real shock to see what happened that day so clearly. It was a small school, so there weren’t many girls their age. Kate had been eager to make a good impression, so when Larissa looked over at her at the beginning of class, Kate gave her a shy smile.
It was recess when it happened. They were playing Tip with the other kids when they collided accidentally. Larissa fell and scraped her knee. “I can fix that if you want,” offered Kate helpfully. Okay, maybe she was showing off, just a little. Kate had never had much to do with girls before, but her brothers and their friends all thought her special trick was cool. Sam deliberately cut his arm with a piece of broken glass once, just so his friends could see it.
Larissa shrugged and allowed Kate to place her hand over the graze. The bleeding stopped immediately and the skin repaired itself while they watched. Kate felt inordinately pleased with herself. Yet, instead of laughing at her trick, Larissa backed away screaming.
Thinking, from Larissa’s unearthly howls, that someone must be mortally wounded, the teacher raced across the playground and pushed through the crowd of children, all standing around in awe of the magnitude of ‘Rissa’s conniption. Mrs Ballesteros eventually calmed the hysterical girl and listened to her accusations, but decided Larissa had made it all up and sent her to sit in the naughty corner.
At lunchtime, Kate tried to apologise for the unexpected repercussions of her usually harmless trick, but Larissa hissed at her, “Leave me alone, you freak! Don't ever talk to me again. I hate you!”
Larissa's humiliation turned into an all-consuming grudge that ballooned out of all proportion to its humble origins. She colluded with Bulldog, her more experienced bully brother, taking every opportunity to make Kate’s life a misery, using intimidation and lies to turn the other children against her.
The other children were simply glad someone else was in Larissa and Bulldog’s cross-hairs, and spared little thought for truth, justice or Kate’s feelings. It didn’t help that Kate was smarter than the rest of them. A few were glad to see the high achiever brought low, but the majority just wanted to keep a low profile, knowing the tables could be turned at any moment. They weren't going to provide the Frenches with any ammunition that could be used against them later. Only her brothers and Heather were brave enough to weather. If not for them, Kate would have been completely isolated.
Long after the original incident had been forgotten, Kate still felt like a misfit: a square peg in a round hole. Perhaps she would always have been the odd one out, even without Larissa always pointing out and (making up) her differences. But she preferred to think that even though she was different, she might still have been accepted, maybe even liked, by her peers. Larissa never gave her the opportunity to find out and Kate hated her for it. Though she never did her special trick again, she still didn't feel like she belonged.
Kate had done a remarkably good job of purging the memory of that day from her mind. She even managed to convince herself that her strange ability was just a passing phenomenon, perhaps even a figment of her imagination. Larissa French’s unreasonable hatred of her was simply an extrapolation of the rivalry between their brothers.
Except now, Kate wasn't so sure. The errant memory had planted a seed of doubt in her mind and Kate was desperate enough to put it to the test. What if her memory of events was real? The voice in her head, alerted by the turmoil of her emotions, began to whisper, echoing her thoughts and forcing her to consider the possibility. What if it was real?
The voice was reasonable but unrelenting as always.
Kate nodded thoughtfully, recognising the truth when she heard it. And she only needed to help a little bit, just enough to get Larissa breathing more easily. Just until proper help arrived. No one would ever know what she did, and no one would get hurt. She wouldn't get hurt.
Concentrating hard, Kate picked up Larissa’s icy hand and squeezed it gently, feeling the slow transference of energy between them. She knew immediately that it was working. She could gauge its effectiveness by the gradual decrease in her body's vitality. There was a slight trembling in her fingertips and a strange light-headedness, almost as if she was floating. Larissa’s breathing improved, while Kate’s breaths became faster and shallower. She felt the other girl’s tension drain away. The blue tinge of her lips slowly changed to a healthy pink and her skin was no longer clammy.
It was easier, yet far more draining than Kate expected.
Larissa's eyes fluttered open, but Kate was still concentrating deeply and didn't see the look of disgust on her face.
“What did you do to me?” cried Larissa.
“What?” wondered Kate dazedly.
Larissa scrambled to her feet in unseemly haste, showing no ill effects of her recent infirmity. She jumped up and down, waving her arms in the direction of the football field, screaming, “Help! Over here!”
“Oh,” muttered Kate. “Here we go again.”
Still dazed after expending so much energy, Kate hadn’t noticed the stream of concerned adults running toward them. In the lead were two men in white shirts and black trousers, carrying first aid boxes and a stretcher. Behind them was her mother and Lou, her boyfriend.
Finally, help was here. Kate climbed awkwardly to her feet, so tired she could barely stand upright.
“Are you all right, miss?” asked a kind voice. She thought it belonged to one of the men in white shirts, but couldn’t be sure. Her mind was as sluggish as her body. Why was he asking her? Didn’t he know Larissa was the one who was sick?
“She’s falling!” warned a second voice, just before Kate's legs crumpled beneath her. Some quick-reflexed person caught her before she fell, lowering her gently onto the sweet smelling, freshly mown grass. She breathed deeply and felt herself drifting off to sleep.
“Katy!” cried her mother, sounding worried.
“’S’okay, Mum,” she mumbled through thick lips, trying to reassure her. She tried in vain to shake off the fog.
“What’s wrong with her?” enquired another voice further away.
Larissa’s voice filtered through the fog. “I don’t know. She was all right a minute ago.”
“Katy, sweetie, wake up!” begged Jane, shaking her. “Talk to me, baby. Tell me what’s wrong!”
Kate managed to open her eyes halfway. From her mother’s reaction, it was as if she had woken from a prolonged coma.
“Oh, Kate! I was so worried! That’s it, sweetie, open your eyes,” Jane encouraged her.
And with an effort, she did.
One of the white shirts held out a bottle with a straw poking out the top and told her to drink. Someone she couldn’t see raised her shoulders slightly. Somehow, she found the energy to suck. It was incredible how much better she felt after only a few sips of lemonade. After she gulped down the rest of the bottle, she felt almost normal. Her tummy rumbled, embarrassingly loud. Kate realised she was starving.
“She just fainted,” explained the kindly white shirt to Jane. “You know, it’s important to eat regular, healthy meals, young lady,” he told Kate seriously, but he tempered his words with a gentle smile.
The curious onlookers began drifting away once it was clear both girls were none the worse for wear. As Jane was about to lead Kate away, she was surprised to see Larissa hovering nearby. Evidently, she had something to say. Kate steeled herself and walked toward her.
They stared at each other for a long minute. Kate was determined not to be the first one to speak.
“You r
eally are a freak, McDermott,” said Larissa eventually. Her colour was back to normal and she showed no sign of having had anything wrong with her. “I’ve never had a reaction that bad before. I really thought I was going to die.” She looked down nervously at her feet. “If you hadn’t been there, I think I would have.”
Kate nodded, certain of it.
“I guess I’m trying to say thank you.”
Kate was stunned but she merely shrugged. “Whatever.”
“Don’t think this makes us friends, though,” warned Larissa.
“As if,” replied Kate indignantly. She paused thoughtfully and then held out her hand. After a second’s hesitation, Larissa accepted the proffered hand and they shook.
“Truce?” offered Larissa.
Kate nodded her head in solemn agreement.
“Freak.” It was said with a smile this time.
“Bitch.”
“You know, I never knew prawn chips were made from actual prawns,” remarked Larissa in apparent wonder.
Kate laughed and walked away.
Kate helped herself to two more scoops of mashed potatoes from the huge bowl in front of her and poured a splash of gravy over the top. She had never been so hungry. It felt like she hadn’t eaten in a week.
“Larissa actually thanked you for saving her life?” clarified Jack incredulously. “I wish I’d been there.”