Good Girl

by Wright, Susan

  Her mom gossiped about the college and all of their friends in town, and Kali was grateful she didn’t have to say much. She heard what everyone was doing, and her mom had messages from some of her old friends to come to the Tavern on Saturday to see everyone.

  It was ten o’clock when her phone jingled with a text. She grabbed it from her bag, and a smile spread over her face as she read a text from Hunter: Did you get home ok?

  She texted back: Yes. How’s your party?

  Not much fun without you. Sleep well.

  Kali’s smile faded just a bit. So he didn’t want to talk. But she was glad he reached out even though he was busy.

  Her mom was watching her. “A lot of emotions just crossed your face really fast, Kali. This guy has turned you upside-down.”

  Kali covered her face with both hands. “I know!” Then she dropped them. “I know…”

  After that, there wasn’t much to say, so Kali wished her mom a good night and went upstairs to her room. Even though she didn’t live here, it was still her room. Now it looked caught out of time, with her college-self blanketing the room. For the first time, she thought it would be better if they turned it into something else. Space was very precious in their home, and her mom could use an office. But her mom would resist the idea. She once said that she went and read in Kali’s room every now and again, because it made her feel like her little girl wasn’t so far away.

  Kali lay awake in her bed under the eaves that night, wondering what Hunter was doing at the party. What kind of party was it? Was Minx there? Did he take another girl? The thought of him tying up Minx made her teeth clench. The thought of him having sex with Minx made her want to scream. She couldn’t stand not knowing. What if he was fucking some other woman “all over” like he did with her?

  Now that image was stuck in her mind—Hunter tying up Minx, who looked incredibly hot with her slinky, tattooed body. Kali wasn’t sure she could ever let him tie her up again. All she would think about was him doing it to Minx, who was much wilder and more experienced than her. The thought of it made her stomach sink in dread. There was no way she could compete with that.

  She hated being compared to other girls. And how could Hunter not compare her to his other women?

  It was a long, fitful night and she didn’t get much sleep.

  The next morning her dad was cooking pancakes in the kitchen when she went down. He greeted her with a hug and gave her a stack of three, the way she liked it.

  There were no worries about straying into sensitive Hunter questions with her dad. Instead he asked about the sundial project. She had sent him bulletins the whole way through the contest, and he had picked out the sundial early on as a favorite. He said the design was “a brilliant use of space.” Kali didn’t bother to tell him that she was dating the sculptor. If it was over, she didn’t want to get her dad excited that she was dating an artist. And she knew her mom would never tell her dad anything they had talked about privately.

  As they ate together, her dad told her about a set he was building and painting for the next production at the Jefferson Community Theater. After a hiatus of several years, the JCT was again his current passion, and he mentioned the casting and directing decisions he was involved in. He also crowed over his victory at the community board meeting the night before, winning some point about the sidewalks that she couldn’t quite understand.

  Kali thought it was a little sad. She had never felt that way before. She had always looked on his projects as grand adventures, which proved that her dad was meant for bigger things. She thought it was too bad he never got the chance to truly spread his wings, and like her dad, she had believed that was the reason why he had never been financially successful.

  But now, having been exposed to so many aspiring artists in New York, she realized that her father liked being a big fish in a little pond. In fact, he liked to swim in every pond in the county that he could find.

  It was not a pleasant feeling to see her dad in this light. And it made her realize why her mom had said: “He may not be willing or able to take on a steady job.” Maybe her dad hadn’t been willing, rather than able to make anything work out.

  Kali spent the rest of the weekend thinking about Hunter, torn between wishing she could see him and kiss him, and thinking it would have been better if she had never met him. On the outside, she smiled and talked to her old friends. They all said they were envious of her life in New York, but strangely they didn’t ask her questions about it. Instead they brought her up to speed on all the doings in the village, as if nothing else existed but their own little world. She could finally see how she had grown up cocooned in a small circle of social intrigue and betrayals.

  More than anything, she noticed a difference in her parents. They had never been close, but now they rarely spoke to each other. They led completely separate lives.

  It was sad, really sad. Now that she was back home, Kali remembered the struggle it had been to get here, into this house and to pay for her education—even with the scholarship and discount because her mom worked at the college, it had been hard.

  How could she choose that for her future, for her children? When she knew the cost. She had watched her parents’ relationship deteriorate from the moment she was aware of such things. How could any relationship survive when the struggle was that hard? When only one person seemed to be willing to pull their weight? Even a rock-solid commitment would have a tough time winning through adversity like that.

  Her mom looked very lonely as she waved Kali good-bye as she got on the train home.

  Kali knew better than ever that the rest of her life depended on decisions she made now. She had to be sure she didn’t make a mistake.

  ***

  Hunter had an awful weekend. He wasn’t used to being denied by a woman. He was tempted to go up to Jefferson to see Kali and her hometown. Talk about getting to know her! He would be able to decode her like the Rosetta Stone if he could see her at home.

  But that was stalkerish behavior. He might as well admit he had no self-control when it came to Kali if he did that.

  He checked the train schedules and knew when she’d be pulling into Penn station. It was nearly nine, too late for them to get together. And he didn’t want to text or call her to ask her out. He needed to see her face when he spoke to her. He needed to find out what she was thinking.

  When he ran into Kali at work Monday morning next to the construction fence, a bunch of people were around. She went straight to getting an update on the progress of moving the fountain. He felt like the blue plywood wall was standing between them instead of next to them.

  She gave him no opportunity to ask her out, and by the time the truck arrived to pick up the fountain, he was afraid it was going to have to wait. Maybe she had backed off because he had withdrawn after their last scene. But that usually made women chase after him. Kali definitely wasn’t chasing after him. If anything she was even more polite and distant than he had been last week. Maybe she had talked to her friends at home and had thought better of going down the kinky brick road with the big city man.

  A crowd gathered to watch the sections of fountain being loaded by a forklift onto the back of a semi-truck. Hunter was in the thick of it, directing the workers to keep people out of the way and making sure the rigging was secure. He couldn’t afford to have anything go wrong, not with several reporters standing near Kali and Selina, taking photos of the move.

  When it was done, he went up to the Central Park Conservancy Garden in the truck. None of the reporters came, so Kali didn’t either. The reporters would come back in a few weeks once the fountain was reassembled and hooked up, with the new cobblestone plaza laid around it. Hunter helped the efficient Central Park crew as they unloaded the pieces of the fountain and laid them carefully behind cyclone fencing near the fountain’s final resting place.

  Finally, as he left the garden, he couldn’t stand the thought of going back to his place and not knowing what Kali was doing. He te
xted her: Want to watch the sunset at my place? The view from my roof is huge.

  There was a longer pause than usual for her reply. Finally it came: I want to talk not play.

  We can do that, he wrote back.

  Not at your place. Or mine. I know what will happen.

  So he wasn’t kidding himself—she was putting on the brakes. He couldn’t argue with that. He kept trying to put the brakes on himself, only he wasn’t having much luck. Maybe she would.

  He checked his watch. She should be leaving SunTech about now, and he didn’t want her to wait in a park for him while he got back downtown.

  How about Katz’s on Houston & Ludlow? he asked. I can be there in 30 min.

  Ok, she texted back.

  By the time he got there, she was already seated at one of the side tables waiting for him. Usually he went directly to the counter to order, but the tables were separate and more private, so it was a good choice.

  “Is this really where Harry Met Sally was filmed?” He noticed that she didn’t get up to greet him with a hug and a kiss.

  He glanced up at the placard dangling over one of the center tables. “Yes, that scene where she fakes an orgasm.”

  “I can’t wait to tell my mom. It’s one of her favorite movies. She always makes me watch it whenever it’s on TV.”

  Hunter was suddenly glad they were meeting at the restaurant instead of his place. She was right, he wouldn’t have been able to keep his hands off her. He wanted to take her in hand, and make her beg for more. His cock was stirring even now, when it was exactly the wrong time for him to get lost in a lustful haze staring into her eyes and remembering how amazing she looked spread out naked for him to use as he wanted.

  He ordered the pastrami sandwich for her, but she quickly requested no mustard.

  “It’s not the same without mustard,” he said.

  “I hate mustard.” She smiled at the waiter as she handed back the menu.

  “Okay, good to know.”

  There was an awkward silence as he tried to figure out the best way to pierce the wall between them.

  She toyed with a fork. “So how was the party?”

  “Not bad,” he shrugged. “It was a birthday party for a friend of mine.”

  “Where was it?”

  He hesitated. “At a local fetish club.”

  “Where people go to have sex?”

  “Not like intercourse sex. We do BDSM. And we hang out with our friends.”

  Lightly, she asked, “Which one did you do?”

  Again he hesitated. She noticed, so he quickly added, “It wasn’t much of anything. I gave my friend her birthday spanking. She’s a Domme, so usually she’s the top. But she does bottom to certain people, and she asked me months ago if I would do it for her at her party.”

  Kali looked at him for a few seconds. Hunter had a hard time figuring out what she was thinking. She was so reserved.

  The waiter came up with their root beers. Kali waited until he left. “What’s her name?”

  “Heather. I’ve known her for a long time. Practically since I came to New York. She’s one of my friends I want to introduce you to.”

  “So tell me what you did. I want to know more about your world.”

  He figured he might as well take the plunge. Kali would have watched the scene if she had come to the party. Maybe this was better. “I put her over my lap and gave her thirty hard smacks, alternating on each butt cheek. Plus one to grow on.”

  “Over your lap? Was she naked?”

  “She was wearing a g-string. It’s not the same if you spank someone through clothing.” He noticed Kali pulled back slightly. “It wasn’t sensuous! Everyone was standing around egging me on and laughing at her as she begged me to go softer. But she didn’t use her safeword, and I knew she wanted a really hard spanking to mark her birthday.”

  The waiter returned with their sandwiches and placed them on the table. Kali stared down at hers as if she had never seen such a thing before. The image he had just placed in her mind was apparently throwing her for a loop. To him, it seemed so tame. Innocent, almost, in the context of the scene. Like hugging someone.

  “Have you ever had sex with Heather?” Kali suddenly asked.

  “Um, yeah. But that ended years ago.”

  “So you stay friends with your lovers?”

  “I try to. Sometimes it’s not possible. But there are only a certain number of parties and events, so you’re bound to run into your past.”

  Kali shook her head slightly as she removed half the meat from her sandwich so she could fit her mouth around it. He took a bite of his own pastrami with mustard, watching her, letting her absorb what he’d said.

  They ate for a while, until he couldn’t stand the silence any longer. It would be better if she would just talk, but if she wouldn’t, he would have to drag it out of her.

  “Didn’t you see any old boyfriends when you went home?” he asked.

  She swallowed. “I saw my grade school crush at the hardware store, if that’s what you mean. He used to be the cutest boy in school, but now he’s fat and kind of slow. It was weird how he wanted to talk to me, when he pretty much ignored me when we were kids.”

  “No one more recent than that?”

  “Hmm, come to think of it, Johnny was at the Tavern on Saturday. He was my boyfriend all through Junior year in high school. He’s married now and his wife was at home with their two babies.”

  He tried to fight down an absurd stab of jealousy. “So you see how it happens.”

  Kali shook her head. “I didn’t say two words to Johnny. Not quite like spanking your near-naked ex-girlfriend as she lies over your lap.”

  He met her eyes, trying to will her to understand. “It wasn’t sexual for me, Kali. I don’t feel that way about Heather.”

  “What about Minx?”

  “What about her?”

  She laughed shortly, but she wasn’t amused. “Did you see her this weekend?”

  “Yes. She came over to clean the loft.”

  Kali looked away. “Oh. Right.”

  “We didn’t have a scene. I didn’t even touch her. I didn’t want to.”

  “I’m sure it satisfies her or she wouldn’t be scrubbing your floors.”

  Hunter didn’t know what to say to that, because she was right. Minx had fallen at his feet and kissed the ground in front of his toes, begging him to punish her for coming over without permission. She said she would take anything, do anything, as long as he forgave her. She was trembling, wracked with emotion, as he ordered her to leave on Sunday. His denial was winding her up to a feverish pitch. He knew she would follow through on her promise, and he could think of all sorts of dirty, demeaning things he could make her do.

  But he didn’t want to.

  “I only want you, Kali. I don’t want those other women.”

  “But there are so many women in your life. And you’re still doing very intimate things with them. Hunter, I can’t be in a relationship with someone who’s seeing other women. Especially when I have to trust you.”

  He felt himself nodding. “I can understand how you feel that way. But we’ve only just started to date.”

  “Will it be different later? You like to be free, I can tell, to do whatever you want.”

  “To be honest, yes. I’ve done that for a long time.”

  “So you don’t mind it when Minx sleeps with another man? Or if I did?”

  “You?” Suddenly it all fell into place. “Not you. I don’t think I could stand it if another man touched you.”

  Now she was really looking at him. He was finally reaching her.

  “You don’t know what you’ve done to me,” he confessed. “I think about you all the time. If you don’t want me to see Minx anymore, then I won’t. I won’t get kinky with any of my friends. I want to explore this with you.”

  “You want a real relationship with me?” she asked.

  “I want you to stop pulling away from me. It’s driving me craz
y.”

  Her mouth fell open, as if he had just said something shocking. “I see.”

  He didn’t understand. “What do you see?”

  “It’s all a game to you, isn’t it? I’m something you want to conquer, to win over. And then what? Do you really want to get married and have kids?”

  He was at a loss. “I don’t know. I haven’t met anyone that made me want that before.”

  She refused to even meet his eyes. He had almost had her! But he had ruined it.

  “So it’s the chase,” she said slowly. “I’m running away, so that’s why you want me. But as soon as I stop running and try to have a real relationship with you, then you’re going to run.”

  “No, I won’t.” But she had shaken him by pinning his motives down so easily. He was supposed to be prying into her brain to figure out how she ticked, not the other way around.

  She sadly tried to smile, but it didn’t work. “You know I’m right, Hunter.”

  “But you’re different.”

  “I’m just harder to catch than girls like Minx. Because I want more than sex, Hunter. You’re the one who said I should figure out what I want. And one thing I know for sure—even if it is fantastic, mind-blowing sex, that’s not enough for me.”

  His mouth opened, but he didn’t know what to say. It was true that he quickly grew bored when women chased after him. He loved the pursuit, the subtle game of luring a woman in, but so few women were elusive. At some point they threw themselves at him, and that ruined everything. Then he spent the last half of the relationship trying to peel them off and keep them at a distance. He was doing that now with Minx.

  But nobody had ever turned him on like Kali did, with her quiet reserve and proud, independent ways.

  Kali stood up. “Thanks for dinner, Hunter. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

  He snatched hold of her wrist, keeping her from turning away. “Is that all? When I know you want me as much as I want you?”