Passion Found

by C Zinnia

  Tears spilled down her cheeks. “What? How? I don’t understand,” she sobbed.

  Her response made him sad. “I hope you will understand before it’s too late,” he said.

  He disappeared, leaving Mel alone to wallow in her grief.

  Mel woke up before Viola and laid there in the dark. She was rattled by her dream about her father. A few tears slid down her cheeks. She wiped them away.

  Viola woke up. “Good morning, amor,” she said sweetly as she kissed Mel. She didn’t notice Mel’s poor mood. “Let’s go eat some breakfast.”

  “Okay,” Mel said.

  “Why don’t you go make breakfast while I get dressed to go work out?” she said.

  Mel hadn’t expected the suggestion. “I thought we made breakfast together as a bonding thing,” she said softly.

  Viola frowned. “Fine, don’t bother then,” she said.

  “I didn’t say no. We just normally to make breakfast together and I enjoy doing that together,” Mel said.

  “Yes, well, this is a more efficient use of time,” Viola said stiffly. “Besides, it’s not like you’re working, so you have plenty of time.”

  Mel didn’t appreciate Viola’s tone of voice, but opted not to say anything. “Okay then,” she said. “I’ll go make breakfast.”

  Viola was pleased with her response.

  Mel went downstairs alone and fixed eggs with toast and hummus.

  Viola came downstairs and frowned. “Where’s the coffee?” she asked. She shook her head before Mel could answer. “Never mind, I’ll do it myself.” She made coffee while Mel place the food on the table. “The eggs are a little too runny. Cook them longer next time.”

  Mel decided not to comment on Viola’s statement. She had been raised with the “if you don’t like it, make it yourself” mentality. She also knew mentioning that could potentially create a conflict. Mel didn’t want to have an argument, especially in the wake of her dream about her dad. She swallowed her anger.

  “What are you and Eli doing today?” Viola asked.

  Mel knew Viola wanted her to say they were working on Mel learning how to heal today. “Eli is taking me to see May today. He said they should be able to help me with my issues from the incidences with Bill,” she said.

  “That’s a good idea,” Viola conceded. “But you will have time to work more on healing, right?”

  Mel shrugged. “No clue. Bruce had mentioned that he wanted me meet to Bill to see if I can help get information from him,” she said.

  Viola wasn’t happy with her response. “That makes sense,” she said. “Though, I feel like if you really wanted to work on me, you’d find out how.”

  Mel tilted her head as she studied Viola. “I do want to work on you, but I can’t break myself down in the process,” she said.

  Viola snorted. “You won’t breakdown from working on me,” she said.

  “Do you do energy work?” Mel asked.

  “You know I don’t,” Viola said tightly.

  “I’ve never done it either before now, so how can either of us know what is or isn’t possible?” Mel said.

  Viola didn’t have an answer, which irritated her.

  Before Viola could say anything, Mel said softly; “I also want the nightmares about Bill to stop.” She teared up mentioning it. “And I want to be able to walk outside by myself without feeling afraid of being attacked.”

  Viola’s irritation melted and she pulled Mel into a hug. She kissed her. “I know, amor,” she said affectionately. “May will be able to help you with your nightmares. And then you’ll be able to help me.” She finished her breakfast as Daren walked in.

  “Looks good,” Daren said.

  “Mel made it,” Viola said smugly.

  He smiled at Viola. “You’re lucky,” he said.

  “I am. And she’s a terrific cook,” she said. “I couldn’t ask for a better mate.” She gave Mel a big kiss on the cheek.

  Daren fixed a cup of coffee and sat down. “What are your plans for today, Mel?”

  “I’m meeting May and working with Eli. Eli mentioned taking me to buy some clothes too while we’re in town,” she said.

  “Why?” Viola asked with a frown.

  Daren laughed. “V, Mel can’t wear your underwear forever. She needs some of her own clothes,” he said.

  “That is true,” Viola said with a laugh.

  “Underwear is definitely on my list. I feel bad for stretching yours out. And I need at least a couple of outfits to last me until I go back to Arlington,” Mel said.

  Viola knitted her brows. “Only to visit though, right?” she said flatly. “I refuse to be in a long-distance relationship and I won’t move to Arlington.”

  Mel and Daren were surprised by Viola’s statement.

  “I was planning on just visiting, though I may have to stay for a couple of weeks because my job has already scheduled me to work and I don’t want to mess them up,” Mel said. She was uncomfortable with the fact that the situation was non-negotiable and that Viola didn’t opt to discuss it with Mel in private first.

  “That is acceptable. It’s important to leave a job on good terms,” Viola said with a smile. She gave Mel another kiss. “Are you ready to go, Daren?”

  “Yep,” he said.

  “Mel, wash the dishes, okay?” Viola gave her another kiss before leaving.

  Daren gave Mel a look she couldn’t decipher before he washed his mug and left.

  You know what he’s thinking, you just don’t want to admit the truth, a part of her said.

  Mel ignored the voice as she washed their dishes. She felt Nana walk in. “Good morning, Nana,” she said without looking.

  Nana chuckled. “Good morning, dear,” she said. “How did you know it was me?”

  “Your energy,” she said. “I could feel it.”

  “That is so fascinating to me,” she said. “Did you sleep well?”

  “Yes,” she said quickly. She bit her lip, realizing she didn’t sound all right.

  Nana raised an eyebrow, but decided to leave the matter alone. Luckily, Dana joined them, interrupting the awkward moment.

  “Good morning,” Dana said. She sounded more chipper than yesterday. Mel was glad to see Dana was healing. “I could barely sleep. I’ve got so many ideas to improve the ambiance of the bakery. And I have some food ideas.” She paused. “Do you think Grace will be okay with them?”

  “Are you kidding?” Nana asked. “She’s loved nearly every idea you’ve had so far. Grace is open to change, especially if it’ll benefit the bakery.”

  “Fantastic,” Dana said. “It’s so good to be able to focus on something other than all of the destruction that’s been happening, you know?”

  “I agree. It’s good to have things to look forward to,” Nana said.

  Papa joined them. “You know, I really do like not having that door,” he said as he glanced back at the doorway that led to the stairwell.

  “Me too,” Nana agreed.

  “I’ll be sure to tell Lee he did y’all a favor by removing it,” Dana said. “He still feels bad about it.”

  “Y’all went through a huge trauma. It doesn’t just go away,” Nana said.

  “True. We both have sessions scheduled with May,” Dana said. “We’re going this evening.”

  “I’m going this morning,” Mel said.

  “I know. And you’ll like May,” Dana said. “They hold a very calm, accepting presence.”

  Mel nodded. She enjoyed listening to everyone’s conversations during breakfast. It helped keep her from getting nervous about her visit with May.

  It wasn’t long before Eli showed up. They went to the parking lot and Eli drove them through the country. They ended up on 40 East and Mel recognized some of the buildings they passed as they drove into town. They pulled into a small parking lot by a two-story brick building. They walked along a wooden ramp that attached to the back of the building’s second floor.

  “Remember, Mel, May is not a werewolf,
” Eli said. “So be careful what you share.”

  “Okay,” Mel said.

  They walked down the hallway and entered a room that had a plush love seat and a firm chair on either side of a small table. There were pictures on the walls of African artwork, various deities of different religions, and positive affirmations.

  May was standing at their desk. Their muscular forearms were adorned with beautiful tattoos. They were tall, husky, and wore colorful garments. Their shaved light brown head glowed as it reflected the ceiling light. They smiled when they saw Eli and Mel, their silver nose ring shimmered against the sunlight that poured in from the window. Mel felt an immediate kinship with them.

  “Eli, it’s great to see you,” they said as they gave him a hug. They turned to Mel. “Hello, Mel. I’m May. From what Eli has told me, you’ve had a bit of a rough time with a fire at the bed and breakfast you were staying at. And that you’re dealing with an assault.”

  “Yes, it has been difficult,” Mel said.

  “Well, we’ll see what we can do, okay?” May said.

  “You two have fun. I’m going to go get a coffee. I’ll see y’all in an hour,” Eli said.

  Mel sat down in the firm computer chair May guided her to. “Did Eli explain what I do?” they asked.

  “Not really,” Mel said.

  “That’s okay! So, I am an energy work practitioner who is certified in many different techniques. I use all of my techniques together to work with your subconscious and Higher Self,” May said. “Are you familiar with the term subconscious?”

  “Kind of. That’s the part of your brain that you aren’t aware of, right?” Mel said.

  May smiled. “Yes, very good,” they said. “You aren’t aware of it, but it still has influence over your actions and feelings. I use kinesiology, also known as muscle testing, to tap into this aspect of your mind to see if there are any limiting beliefs or emotions that your body is holding onto that needs to be released.

  “As for your Higher Self, that’s the part of you that is viewed as your real, or true, self. It is who you are before, during, and after you are born. There are people who view the soul and Higher Self as different things, but I view them as the same. We tap into your Higher Self to make sure your conscious and subconscious mind have an open communication to your Higher Self. Imagine your Higher Self has the road map as well as the route plotted for your life. If your subconscious and/or your conscious mind aren’t speaking with your Higher Self, you have a bigger chance of getting lost on your trip. Does that make sense?” May asked.

  “I guess,” Mel said. “These are all very new viewpoints to me.”

  “Don’t worry, I won’t quiz you on what I’m saying,” May said with a laugh. “I’m introducing various concepts to you. You can pick and choose the aspects that you like and you can ignore the rest. I can also give you a reading list I have of books that I’ve read that have helped my limited understanding.”

  “I would appreciate that,” she said.

  “Good. One of my goals is to work with you to identify any emotional baggage you have and remove them safely and efficiently. As you know, we are energetic beings. Our body itself is energy. Emotions are energy too. These negative emotions can wreak havoc on the body just as much as a physical trauma.

  “Another goal is to identify any negative or harmful beliefs you may have stored in your subconscious. Your subconscious beliefs are what determine what kind of life you lead. If your subconscious believes you deserve to be in a healthy, happy relationship, then you’re more likely to enter a healthy, happy relationship. However, if your subconscious believes that you are unworthy of a healthy relationship, you’ll be more inclined to seek out relationships that reinforce that belief. Does that make sense?” May asked.

  “I could see that,” Mel said. She didn’t like how much she resonated with not deserving a happy relationship. Consciously, Mel was worried she’d end up like her parents, so she could only imagine what her subconscious thought.

  “So, we’re going to do some muscle testing to tap into your subconscious to see what you’re holding onto in your body regarding these situations,” May said.

  “Okay,” Mel said.

  “Hold your arm like this,” May held their arm out in front of them. Mel copied May. “I’m going to push on your arm, offer slight resistance so I’m not able to push it down.”

  May pushed on Mel’s arm and Mel’s arm remained in the air. “Great job. Now, let’s try a statement. Say ‘I am Mel.’”

  “I am Mel,” Mel repeated. Her arm remained in the air as May slightly pushed on it.

  “Now try, ‘I am Bob,’” May said.

  “I am Bob,” Mel said. May was able to effortlessly push Mel’s arm down. Mel looked at her arm. “What does that mean?”

  “It means that your body agrees that you aren’t Bob,” May said. “Which is what we want. When your arm is strong, it indicates a ‘yes’ or a belief in the statement. When your arm weakens, it indicates a ‘no’ or a disbelief in the statement. Does that make sense?”

  “Kind of,” Mel said.

  “So, let’s try the statement, ‘I am safe,’” May instructed.

  “I am safe,” Mel said. Mel’s arm went weak. “So, this means I don’t feel safe?”

  “Yes, or at least your subconscious mind thinks that you aren’t safe,” May said.

  “It makes sense that I don’t feel safe after everything that has happened,” Mel said.

  “Well, let’s see when your subconscious first had this thought,” May said.

  “Okay,” Mel said.

  “Let’s check is it started from conception to ten.” Mel’s arm was strong. “Conception to five.” Mel’s arm went weak. “Age six.” Mel’s arm was weak. “Age seven.” Mel’s arm was strong. “So, the first time you felt that you weren’t safe was when you were seven. Do you remember anything in particular?”

  “That what when my parent’s divorced,” Mel whispered. May tested Mel’s arm. It was strong.

  May nodded. “It’s not surprising that you felt unsafe during that time. It’s the breaking of a nuclear family and your foundation. Even if it was for the best that your parents did divorce, it’s normal for you to feel a lack of security,” they said.

  “How does that relate to Bill and feeling unsafe now?” Mel asked, not understanding the connection.

  “It’s connected in the sense that when you were seven, you were first introduced to the thought that the world was unsafe. From there, things have occurred in your life that strengthen that original thought. The situation with Bill further supports the original belief that the world is unsafe,” May said. “Does that make sense?”

  “I guess,” Mel said slowly.

  “How would you like to clear out the belief?” May asked.

  “I would love to, but how?” Mel asked.

  May smiled. “Let’s get to work.”

  Chapter 23

  Mel felt the hot tears pour down her face as she felt multiple huge emotional releases. She felt both overwhelmed and lighter.

  May gave her a tissue so she could wipe her runny nose.

  “Give yourself at least a couple of days to process everything we did. Also, you’ll need to schedule more sessions so we can really address these issues. While the fire and the assault were the last straws, as you saw during your session, you’ve had decades of different negative situations that all play into it. Does that make sense?” May asked.

  “It does. Thank you so much for your help,” Mel said. She composed herself before May opened the door into the hallway.

  Eli was sitting in a chair in the hallway. He didn’t mention Mel’s tear-filled eyes. “Did you have a good session?” he asked.

  “Yes,” Mel answered.

  “Great,” Eli said. “Are you ready to head on?”

  Mel nodded.

  “Y’all have a great day,” May said. They gave Mel a big, warm hug. “Take care and make sure to get plenty of rest.”

/>   Eli and Mel left.

  Mel was quiet during their drive to a local clothing store. Mel was able to grab a couple of pants, shirts, and underwear. She was embarrassed she didn’t have any money to buy the items with. As Eli paid, Mel said; “I’ll make sure to pay you all back for all of this.”

  Eli picked up on the guilt in her voice. “Mel, you don’t have cards or cash. It was all destroyed. And, you paid in advance for your nights at the B&B. Silvia pulled up what you had paid the B&B. She’ll probably cut you a check for when you go back to Arlington. What bank do you have?” he asked as they left the store.

  “It’s a credit union local to Arlington,” Mel said. “There isn’t one around for over two hours.”

  “See? Relax. Silvia gave me a credit card to use for you and I’m keeping all of the recipes to give to her. You two can work out finances before you head back to Arlington,” he said. “Now, let’s get you a prepaid phone. At least you’ll be able to call your mom and grandma.”

  They went to a store a got a simple temporary flip phone with prepaid minutes on it.

  As they headed back to Ferrum, Eli said; “We won’t do anything else today. Your eyes are glazed over. I think it’s best if you took the rest of today off.”

  “But what about working on healing others?” Mel asked.

  “Mel, you just went through a huge healing session yourself. Give yourself time. You don’t need to work on anyone any time soon,” he said. He glanced over at her with probing eyes. “Have you worked on anyone?”

  “Look, a deer,” Mel said as she pointed to a doe standing at the side of the road.

  The rest of their drive was done in silence. By the time they arrived at the main house, it was already lunch time. Mel took her purchases upstairs before going into the kitchen to find Viola, Papa, Bruce, Lee, and Silvia eating together.

  “Hey, amor,” Viola said with a smile as she gave Mel a kiss. “How are you feeling?”

  “Drained,” Mel said. “May certainly has an effective technique of seeing into one’s soul and finding the flaws.”

  “Your subconscious just has faulty programming that the two of you reset. You had the programming for a reason. Your subconscious was trying to ensure your survival, that’s all,” Silvia said. “There’s no reason to feel bad or embarrassed about it. It was there for a reason.”