“You’ve learned something,” he guessed. His eagerness was clear in his voice, no matter how much he was trying to hide it.
It made me want to punch him.
“I got the call data.” I handed over the chip.
“Was there something on here that was informative?” He frowned.
“Did you not expect there to be?”
“Knowing who Mr. White is calling helps me know where to look.” He paused. “But I wouldn’t think that alone would make you look like this.”
I hated to admit that he was right, but he was.
Don’t tell him anything unless you’re sure.
Well, I was sure about one thing: “Sheng-li contacted me.”
Moua’s eyebrows rose. “Does he want you to meet?”
“We have met.”
“If you had waited until—”
“He knew I was asking questions.” I interrupted him. “He contacted me via my roommate as a threat, and I…went to talk to him.”
Moua didn’t sink his head into his hands, but he looked like he wanted to.
“I wanted him to leave her alone!” My voice rose.
“Miss Harris, I want that, too.” His voice was urgent. “Please believe that. I do. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. And because of that, please do not meet with Sheng-li without telling us so we can have someone keep an eye on you. He’s dangerous. Everyone here wants to make sure that you’d be safe if you did that. We wouldn’t even ask you to meet with him, that’s how dangerous it is.”
I wavered. It was difficult not to believe that this was sincere. Moua wasn’t asking me to come only to him, he was just asking me to be safe. I bit my lip.
“What did he say?” Moua asked finally.
“He said he wants…he wants my help to find Chun-mei.”
“I’ll bet he—wait.” Moua paused.
“Yes. He says he thinks Donovan did it, and he…he cares about her.”
“I very much doubt that.” The man’s voice was dry. “Unless he wants to get some last revenge of his own.”
He hadn’t seen Sheng-li in the park, but then, I wasn’t sure I wanted to tell him about the park yet. I wasn’t sure what else I wanted to do. And before I could stop myself, I admitted as much:
“I don’t know who to trust.”
The words were wild, and I saw the leap of hunger in his eyes. He turned his head away and chose his words carefully, and I waited to be disgusted by them.
“You don’t have to decide now.”
“Huh?” Of all things, I hadn’t expected this.
“Miss…can I call you Lily?”
“I…yes.”
“Lily.” He came around the desk and crouched down to stare up at me. “You are a good person. I know this. It is difficult for good people to understand the things cops see every day: the hatred, the greed. There are people who do terribly cruel things just for their own amusement. No one expects you to understand how to navigate this world on your own, right from the start.”
“But I have to,” I said helplessly.
“Yes,” he agreed. “You will have to. But not today, and not alone. I think you already know that you don’t trust Sheng-li. I’d agree with you not to do that.” He managed a ghost of a smile. “What you aren’t sure about is whether or not to trust Donovan White.”
I swallowed.
“You don’t have to decide today,” he told me again. “Go think about it. No matter how difficult, follow what think is right—the right thing to do, no matter what anyone says. No matter how dear to you someone may be.” His eyes were sad. “Think about it.”
“But I…” I bowed my head.
“Here.” He scribbled down a phone number and gave it to me. “This is my cell phone. Not the work one, my home one. The work one is on the other side. If you want to talk, if you’re scared, if you’re worried that someone is after you, call me, or call 911. Don’t try to do this alone.”
I wanted to thank him, and, equally, I wanted to curse him for being so hard to hate. He wanted to take Donovan down; I knew it from the gaze in his expression. I knew it from how he was courting my trust.
What I didn’t know was if he actually meant anything he said, and I wanted to scream with frustration. I took the card and fled, wordless, out into the night.
When I got back, Bei was studying angrily—she didn’t look up when I came in, and she was underlining a printout with angry swipes of her pen.
“Bei?”
“You should go look in your room.” Her voice was curt.
“Is everything all right?”
She said nothing else, however, and with a feeling of grave misgiving, I pushed open the door to the guest bedroom.
I should have known, I thought stupidly. I really should have known. Rules were not to be taken lightly in Donovan’s world—and since I hadn’t answered his calls to tell him where I was…
…He had come to find me.
“Where the hell were you?” He’d been leaning against the wall when I came in, arms crossed and eyes burning; now he pushed himself up and stalked toward her. “I worried out of my damned mind.” He gestured at the main room. “Did she know where you were? She swore she didn’t.”
“You threatened my roommate?” My voice was deathly soft. I had only his example to use for this, and I used it for all it was worth. I drew myself up like he did.
“I did not say I—”
“I know you. You thought it was your right to know where I was, and you didn’t give a damn whether or not she wanted to tell you.”
“So she—”
“She didn’t. I didn’t tell her. But let me tell you something—I am sick and tired of her being used by everyone else as a way to get to me.” I spat the words at him. “I am sick of people calling her to let me know that they know how to hurt me. I am sick of people using her to try to influence my behavior. And I am not in the mood to just let you get away with coming in here and interrogating her because you wanted to know where I was!”
“I called you first.” His voice was tight. “You didn’t answer.”
“That doesn’t give you any right to talk to her! None!” I was yelling and I didn’t care.
“When it comes to you, I have rights. You gave them to me.” His voice was curt.
“I gave you rights over me. Not her. Is this too difficult for you to understand?”
His eyes flashed. “Do you want to try that again?”
I snapped. “No. I want you to get out.” The scent of him was overpowering, the sight of his anger…
I shoved my feelings away and reminded myself, brutally, of the conversation we’d had earlier. It wasn’t worth this to stay with him.
He jerked back as if I’d slapped him. “If you tell me to get out…”
“What? I’ll never hear from you again? Was that going to be your threat?” Anger was thrumming in my blood, my pulse racing; I felt sick with it.
“It is not a threat, it is—”
“I don’t care what you call it. I want you to.” I lifted my chin. “I want you to go. I don’t want to hear from you again. I don’t Bei to hear from you again. None of my friends, none of my family. I want you out of my life.” With each word, I felt as if I was driving a knife further into my body, and I pushed myself on doggedly. The only way through this was to keep going. If I said it enough…
His face had gone white. “Are you serious?”
“Am I…” I gave a wild laugh. “Of course, I’m serious. You’ve made me promise everything to you, tried to strip me of any right to have secrets from you, and you keep them from me. And these aren’t little secrets, Donovan.”
“So.” His mouth twisted. “Unless I tell you my secrets, you won’t be with me?”
“I don’t want to know.” My voice was shaking. “I want you to get out. I don’t ever want to know what you’re hiding from me.” There were tears on my cheeks now. “I don’t.”
“Lily.” My name was a breath.
; “Get. Out.” I stood aside and pointed at the door. “Get out, and never come back. Don’t speak. Just leave.” I wasn’t going to have the strength to do this again.
His face was incredulous, but he moved to the door, laid his hand on the doorknob.
“Wait.”
He froze, but he didn’t look at me.
“I just have one thing to say.” I could not believe I was doing this. It was the stupidest thing I had ever done, and after the past few days, that was really saying something. “Chun-mei Ko had family, too.”
He had gone deathly white. His eyes met mine and his jaw clenched so tightly that I saw a muscle jump in his cheek.
“She had people who loved her,” I told him. Tears were spilling out of my eyes now and I cursed myself for a fool. He would think I was weak. These words were never going to get through to him.
I had to say them, though.
“She had people who were going to love her.” I stared up at him and hated his guts, and tried not to want him at the same time. He wasn’t who I’d thought, I told myself. “She was going to meet people who cared for her, who would have made her laugh. She might have been anyone. She might have had kids. And none of those people are every going to get to meet her, and her family is never going to know what happened to her.” I wiped angrily at my tears. “That’s all. That’s all I wanted to say.”
He hesitated.
“Go.”
He left. He took the last shred of hope I’d had in me and he left, the door of the apartment slamming behind him.
I didn’t remember falling, but I felt the press of the rug on my knees and the slippery feel of my and over my own mouth. I was rocking back and forth, trying not to cry, not to really start crying—because as soon as I started, I wasn’t going to be able to stop.
“Lily?” Bei was at my side. She wrapped her arms around me. “What happened?”
“I told him to—to—” A sob made its way out of me. “I told him to leave. I’m so sorry he yelled at you. I’m so sorry for everything, Bei. I’m…I’m…”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not!” My voice rose to a wail.
“Why not, sweetie?” Her voice changed. “Did he hurt you?”
“No.”
But he’d hurt someone else. He’d killed her, and he’d made sure no one would find out—and somehow, even hearing him say that in plain words wasn’t enough for me to want to turn him in.
What was happening to me?
Chapter 28
Donovan
I slammed my way into my apartment, and was halfway to the bar before I stopped to look at the figure on the couch. “What is it?”
“I was going to drive you tonight.” Colton looked uneasy. “Hayden…called me to make sure you’d be going.”
“Of course I’m going. I made a promise, didn’t I?” I yanked out a cork and pulled a more-than-generous splash of bourbon into a glass. I wanted the burn. I downed it in one gulp and poured another before looking over at him. “What?”
He didn’t quite flinch, but he did swallow. He sighed. “What happened?”
“Nothing.” Nothing except Lily throwing accusations she didn’t understand.
I drank the second bourbon in one gulp as well, and only barely kept myself from pouring a third. It wasn’t going to do me any favors tonight, but goddamn, did I want it.
Lily…
Didn’t understand the first part of what she’d gotten into, and there was no way I could tell her.
What had I hoped for?
My hand clenched around the glass and I dropped it onto the sideboard with an oath.
“You don’t actually have to go tonight.”
I rounded on Colton. “No?”
“We can make excuses.”
“Excuses get people killed,” I told him brutally.
“Then get out.” His voice was urgent. “Jesus, get out now.”
“No.” There was no way I was going to stop here, now. “No. Let’s go.”
“Donovan—” I swung my head to look at him, and whatever he saw in my eyes, his face went dead white. “Let’s go,” he said quietly.
The boat was already bobbing at the dock when Colton pulled up.
“Stay in the car.”
“But—”
“Don’t push me tonight, Colton.” I got out of the car and only barely restrained myself from slamming the door. My eyes tracked the hesitant steps of blindfolded women being led down the ramps.
Hayden, aware of my moods and afraid of them, kept himself to one side. Sheng-li, however, had no such compulsions. He sidled up to me with an oily smile and a well-tailored suit.
“Mr. White. Trouble?”
“No trouble.” I let my fingers drift over the button of my suit jacket and tried to force myself to relax. “Was there trouble here?”
“There was.” He gave a lazy look over to the corner of the pier.
It took a moment before my eyes picked out the shape of the body, blood spreading away from it and dripping into the water below. I didn’t look at Sheng-li. He had worn white, and I knew there wouldn’t be a spot on his suit. Sheng-li liked killing his own marks…and appearing as fresh and composed as any aristocrat, after. He was watching me now, alert for any sign of unease.
“I trust you’ll get rid of the entire group after this.”
“They’ve given their word that there won’t be any more…problems…after this.” Sheng-li finally looked away, to the girls. “And that they’ll include more in the next shipment to account for any they damaged this time.”
The wind shifted, and I could hear the sound of crying. There was a raised voice and one of the men unloading them raised his hand.
Sheng-li cleared his throat. It was a quiet sound, but it was enough. The men froze. Their heads, conspicuously, did not turn to where the body of their captain lay in the shadows. Sheng-li would make them clean it up later. I knew that; I wondered if they did.
“Bring them over here,” Sheng-li ordered.
I felt my jaw clench. I didn’t like looking at them. I never had. In grimy underwear, they were freezing cold, and the thought of taking an inventory of their injuries was not pleasant by any stretch of the imagination.
Sheng-li looked over each of them, impersonally: the girl with the long hair in a braid, with eyes that flashed fire until she saw the cold promise of death in his; the girl crying, short-cropped hair lank, begging him for something in a dialect I didn’t know; the one with her left eye swollen all the way shut, cradling a broken arm to her body and moving as if she would lay and die if she stopped. How many more? A dozen? Twenty? The filed past us, one by one, and I pointed out the injuries Sheng-li missed, and tried not to think about the girl with the broken arm. Feeding her while she recovered would be costly.
Sheng-li’s bosses didn’t like ‘costly.’
A snap of the man’s fingers called an underling, who went to go speak to the boat crew in a hushed whisper. Sheng-li watched the negotiations coolly, almost bored by the arguments over bruises and breaks.
“And how is the lovely Miss Harris?” He didn’t look over at me.
“I haven’t the faintest idea.” I kept my voice as cool as his.
“Really.” He looked over at me, narrowing his eyes. “I gathered she quite cared for you.”
My lips twisted into a bitter smile. “Did you? A lot of them think they do.”
“She doesn’t seem the type to deceive. Surely not another…”
The name Evangeline hung in the air.
I gave a laugh. “It was never going to be that. She was pretty. Untutored.” I raised an eyebrow. “An innocent, now and again…”
“Ah.” Sheng-li smiled. “Then surely, you will want your pick.”
“Hmm?” But even as I turned, far too late, I saw the trap spring closed.
“A few bruises here and there, of course.” Sheng-li swept a hand out to indicate the huddled mass of girls. “But they…untouched.”
�
�You think they were beaten half to death and then left virgins?” I let my voice show my contempt.
“One crew tried to ruin the stock that way.” Sheng-li’s voice was very satisfied. “Once.”
“I see.” If anyone could scare the people who trafficked humans regularly, I supposed it would be Sheng-li—and it was clear from his expression that he enjoyed the memory of whatever he’d done. My lips compressed slightly in distaste.
“Mr. White, our employers are…pleased…with the numbers we’ve been showing recently. The business has exceeded their expectations.” Sheng-li’s accent grew more pronounced, as it did ever time he was trying to make me uncomfortable. “They would like to see you rewarded. Please, take your pick.”
I gave a lazy scan, and my eyes settled on the crying girl, the one speaking the rural dialect. “Her.”
I had the pleasure of seeing Sheng-li’s expression flicker, and I smiled at him. Did you expect me not to take you up on your offer?
He didn’t hesitate, however. He gave a command, and one of his men grabbed the girl and yanked her toward the car. “Have a nice evening, Mr. White.”
“Oh, and the one with the broken arm…” I looked over at her, at the outline of her body against the distant lights of the city. “Tell me when she’s better.” I shot a look at the girl who was resisting as she was pushed into the car. “Stop crying,” I said sharply.
She didn’t know English, but she understood. Her cries cut off.
I nodded to Sheng-li and to Hayden, who stood with his mouth hanging open, and then I, too, slid into the backseat of the car and let Colton pull away down the pier. Hayden had sampled, before now, but I had never taken the offers Sheng-li made.
Tonight…was different.
Tonight I was aware of just how much I had to prove.
“I’m just saying, with the meeting today—”
“Handle it.” I cut Kevin off brutally. Dawn was breaking over the city, and my eyes played over the familiar vista of the park.
“We were counting on having you here.”
Dark Lust: An Alpha Billionaire Romance (Books 1-5) Page 13