On the Edge

by Avance, V. E.

  I just stand there staring at him. I am stunned. I figured he wouldn’t want anything to do with the babies after I left him. After a few seconds, or minutes, I finally made my decision. “Tommy, I don’t want to keep these babies from you. At one point, I did love you and it was, through that love, that we created these babies. I still do not trust you so I refuse to be alone with you but I don’t see an issue with you being a part of their lives. Now, Jason is part of my life and I will not pick you over him. You accept him or you get no part in the babies lives. It’s as simple as that!” I say staring him in the eyes. I refuse to back down and I refuse to show that I both fear and love him still.

  “I get it Abigail. I don’t expect you to take me back but I still love you and I always will. I hope to get you back one day but I don’t expect you to ever take me back. All I can hope for is to be a part of our children’s lives.”

  I am almost rendered speechless. If he were to be this sweet and caring all the time, I could see a future with him and our children. “My next appointment is July twenty-third. If you want, you may attend. We will find out the gender that day. I’m hoping the rest of my family will be there so be prepared to be met with hostility. You have to prove yourself to more than just me,” I say as I turn to head to the passenger side of the car.

  “I’ll be there Abigail. Thank you,” he says before heading back to his car.

  Mom and I don’t say a word on the car ride home.

  * * *

  Mom is starting dinner. We’re having brisket and she always starts cooking early to make sure the meat is cooked through enough. I take my place beside her and help her out while she teaches me her secret seasoning. “You know, sweetheart, we don’t spend nearly enough time in the kitchen together. You’re going to be a mom soon. I need to teach you to cook some wholesome meals for your family. They will depend on you to nourish them.”

  “I have watched you a lot, Mom, even when you thought I wasn’t. I’ve learned to cook, but I do need all the recipes. I can’t cook from memory yet and I want to enjoy your dishes and pass them down to my family.”

  Mom and I finish preparing the meal while talking about nothing in particular. Before I know it, Mom and I have the table set and dinner finished. Mike, Katherine and Jason walk through the front door just ahead of Dad. We are having a family dinner for the first time in a few weeks and I’m excited. I’ve missed the guys and I want to hear about their new jobs. I find Mike first and give him a big hug. “Hey sis, how have you been? Look at that belly,” he exclaims.

  “I’ve been great. Yea, the belly just keeps growing and growing,” I blush.

  “I can see that. Glad to see my nieces or nephews are doing well. They sure gave us a scare a few weeks ago, didn’t they?”

  “How many kids do you know that don’t give their family a good scare or two?” I reply.

  “This is true,” he mutters as he makes his way to the dining room.

  Jason wraps his arms around me and kisses my cheek. “Sorry, I couldn’t be with you today at your appointment. I won’t miss the next one. I promise.”

  I blush and smile at him. “It’s fine Jason. You have a life outside of being my protector. I don’t expect you always be around.”

  “Oh quit that! You know I love and care for you. You are the most important person in my life. Well, you and the babies.”

  I blush and head to the dining room. Jason follows behind me and pulls my chair out. He really is a sweetheart. Conversation is already in full swing around the table.

  “So, how is work treating you, Michael?” Mom asks before we’re done plating our food.

  “It’s good, Mom. I like being in Human Resources at Freud’s,” he says. Freud’s is a local shipping company. Mike landed a position in human resources since he received his bachelor’s degree.

  “How about you, Jason, how’s your new job going?”

  “Well, Mrs. Wilkinson, it’s a lot of hard work. I didn’t realize that being a financial advisor would be stressful but I love it.” Jason landed a position as a financial advisor for a firm downtown. He’s in the position of helping people manage their money, both in investments and debt relief. Maybe Tommy and I can get some advice from him?

  “Well, Abby has some exciting news to share,” Mom says looking toward me.

  Oh yea, the gender reveal next month. I almost forgot. Everyone is glancing at me waiting for me to speak. I finish my mouth full of mashed potatoes before speaking. “Well, the doctor said that the babies are good and healthy and that we should be able to tell the gender with my next appointment. He said I can bring up to ten people to this next appointment.”

  “Sis, that’s great. Do you know the date and time? I need to be able to put in for a few hours off that day so I can attend.”

  “Yes, the appointment is the twenty-third of next month at ten o’clock in the morning.”

  Everyone pulls out their phones and inputs the date and time in their calendar. Jason makes a remark about him being there come hell or high water and Mike is putting in for the day off in advance. Dad says that he will be there so long as he doesn’t land a case and Katherine will be there because she doesn’t work or go to school.

  “I was thinking that, the weekend after we find out the gender, we could begin converting Mike’s room into the nursery. Would anyone like to help?” Mom asks.

  “I’d love to, Mom,” Mike announces enthusiastically. “It’s about time that old room of mine was put to good use.”

  “I’ll come help too, Mrs. Wilkinson. I’m sure Mike and Mr. Wilkinson would love some help painting and putting together baby furniture.”

  “Well, good, the Saturday after the revealing we will have a family and friends fun day and get this nursery ready for the little ones,” Mom states with a huge smile on her face. I love my family.

  We continue to eat while everyone makes mindless chit chat about anything we can think of to talk about. As everyone is finishing up, mom decides it’s time to tell them about our guest at the appointment today. “So, now that everyone is done eating and we have had a great conversation, Abigail and I have something to tell everyone.” She glances at me and I look down at my plate. She continues, “After Abigail’s appointment today, Tommy came up to us in the parking lot.”

  Dad drops his fork on his plate and gawks between mom and I. “What the hell do you mean he came up to you in the parking lot? There’s a restraining order in effect on that boy!” Dad practically shouts.

  Katherine jumps up and heads outside. I don’t blame her; I wouldn’t want to be a part of this conversation either. “I know, Dad. I just thought if I should hear what he had to say.”

  “Abigail Marie, I am so angry at you right now. You can’t even imagine how pissed I am right now. What the hell were you thinking?”

  I look at Mike and see sympathy in his face. Jason reaches out and takes my hand for moral support. “Dad, we just talked. He said that he just wanted to be a part of the babies’ lives. I didn’t see the harm.” I know what I say next is going to really piss him off so I squeeze Jason’s hand and take a deep breath and continue. “I told Tommy that he could come to the next appointment if he wanted.”

  There’s a loud crash as dad’s fists hit the table. “You did what? God damn it Abigail! What were you thinking?”

  My bottom lip begins to tremble and my stomach begins to churn. I hate when my dad yells at me and I hate when I am why a nice family dinner turns south. “I was just thinking that everyone deserves a second chance and that the babies should know their father if he really has changed.”

  I see dad take a deep breath. “You know what? You’re right Abby. Everyone deserves a second chance. I don’t want you alone with him but I suppose we can allow him at appointments and to see his kids after they’re born but you are going to file custody papers and request supervised visits between him and the kids.”

  With that, dad excuses himself and goes to the living room. Jason stands up and pulls me in
to his arms. “That went quite well and I am so proud of you for being so mature.” He kisses my forehead and walks to the living room to join my dad.

  Mom and I clean up the kitchen in silence. When everything is clean I make my way to my bedroom. I’ve had enough stress for one day to last a lifetime. I put my pajamas on and crawl into bed.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Mom and I spent most of the month buying the stuff we could for the babies that didn’t require knowing the gender. We bought identical oak sleigh cribs and mattresses to go with them. We also got the matching changing table. The store had a bassinet that had both ribbons for a boy or a girl so we picked up two of those as well. We bought some little things that they would need like white socks, onesies, sheets, and even a few packages of diapers for them. It was a pretty exciting week and I enjoyed spending mother-daughter time together.

  Katherine and I are heading out to see a new movie tonight. I really need a girls night out before these little ones come and I wouldn’t want to go out with any other girl but Katherine. Mom bought me three beautiful maternity dresses this week and a few pairs of dress shoes without a heel. It’s getting harder for me to balance and we don’t want to risk me falling because my shoes are too high. I decide to wear a mid-length pink dress with a V-neck and white, open-toed flats. I opt to just put my hair in a ponytail and wear minimal makeup.

  I know Katherine is going to have a conniption fit over the lack of makeup and my hair up in a ponytail but she will have to deal with it. I’ll be twenty weeks pregnant with two little ones tomorrow and I’m over all the primp work it takes to look half-as-made-over as Katherine.

  “Hey there Abby; are you ready for our girls night out?” Katherine asks as she walks in my room. I put a little lip gloss on before nodding my head. I grab my purse and follow Katherine out the door.

  * * *

  Today is the day we find out if we are having boys or girls. I picked out names a couple of weeks ago, but I have been tight lipped about them. My mom and Katherine have been bugging me to share the names but that is one thing that I wanted to keep secret until I knew for sure.

  Jason decided to pick me up for the appointment. We are supposed to go out to lunch to celebrate the news. Mike and Katherine meet us at the house at a quarter after nine. Katherine is decked out in pink and Mike is wearing a baby blue shirt. “What is this about?” I ask pointing to them.

  Katherine smiles while Mike rolls his eyes. “Well, I want the babies to be girls so I am dressed in pink to support the gender I want. Since Mike wanted a boy, he is dressed in blue,” Katherine explains.

  “Yea, and she picked out the shirt. I wanted to wear dark blue but Kat insists that if I want baby nephews then I had to wear baby blue, hence why I look like I’m wearing a piece of the sky,” Tommy say as Katherine, playfully, smacks his chest.

  * * *

  We all arrive at the doctors’ office fifteen minutes before my scheduled appointment. Tommy is already in the parking lot. He gets out of his car as he sees us all pull in. He has a look of surprise when he sees me get out of Jason’s car. He continues to walk toward Jason and extends his hand when he’s about two feet way. “Hey man, I’m sorry about my behavior a couple months ago. I was in a bad way and was taking it out on anyone and everyone around me.”

  Jason looks at Tommy and then to me. I give him a slight smile. He extends his hand and shakes Tommy’s. “We’re good. I hope you got the help that you needed and you’re in a better place now,” Jason says as he releases the handshake.

  “I have,” Tommy begins as the rest of the family makes their way over. “I went to a two week detox program to get the drugs out of my system and started narcotics anonymous the day that I left the detox center. I’ve been clean since then.” Tommy says as he shows them his sober coin. “It’s been more than a month since I cleaned myself up.”

  Dad gives Tommy a genuine smile and shakes his hand. “Good for your son. There are people in this world that are counting on you and they will be here by the end of the year.”

  I smile at my dad and lead the way to the building. I sign myself in and we are taken back to the big room immediately. We get to bypass the waiting room all together. The family and friends room is very comforting. It’s painted a pale green and the lights are dim. There is a large flat screen television on the wall in front of a very comfortable looking full sized bed. There are multiple chairs surrounding the bed and angled to the television. My guests each pull up a chair. I lie on the bed and get comfy for the show that will start soon. Just as I’m getting situated, the doctor walks in. “Hello Abigail,” he says with a smile. “I see you’ve brought quite a few people with you today.”

  “Yes, they are all excited to learn if we are buying blue or pink.”

  “This is one of the most exciting days for expecting families. Now, since we know you are carrying identical twins we just have to get one of the babies to cooperate and let us see what we can expect at delivery.”

  He takes his seat next to the ultrasound machine that’s positioned by my head. Jason took the seat on the other side of me. I glance over at Tommy on the other side of the room. I’ve seen that face before. He’s trying to hold back his anger. “What I am seeing on my little screen here you will see on the big television in front of you. I am going to try to get some good three-dimensional pictures of these babies too,” the doctor explains.

  We all get ready and start looking at the screen. The doctor pours warm gel over my belly and places the wand over my belly, just under my belly button, and we see the babies. They are side by side and look like they are playing with each other’s faces.

  “Well, they look to be sharing tastes of their thumbs,” the doctor says as he zooms in. We are able to see their little faces and fingers. My impatient father chimes in, “Can we find the gender now?”

  The room erupts in laughter. Mom taps Dad’s chest, “Kevin, be patient. The doctor will get there soon enough.”

  The doctor chuckles, “Yes sir, I will start to look right now.” He moves the wand around and focuses nears one of the babies’ legs. “Well, Abigail looks like baby A is cooperating today. Congratulations, you are expecting a set of girls.”

  There are gasps and laughs and tears all around me. Mom is crying, Mike is smiling, Katherine is laughing her laugh of triumph, Dad is wiping a stray tear that has escaped from the dam he created, Jason grabs my hand and kisses the top of it but Tommy is sitting quietly looking between the screen and me. The doctor gets some more shots of the babies and then prints out a bunch of pictures for me to take home.

  “So, Abigail are you going to share the babies’ names now?” Mom inquires.

  “Well, I decided on Addison Marie and Kylie Anne for the girls,” I say without thinking that Tommy should have had a say in the matter. It’s at that time that I look toward Tommy and see him with his head in his hands.

  “Jason, could you exchange seats with Tommy?” I ask. Jason is hesitant but he does as I asked. Tommy is sitting next to me and I reach out and take his hand in mine, “I hope you like the names. I didn’t even think about asking your preference.”

  He wipes a tear from his eye. “Abigail, the names are lovely. Our girls are beautiful. Thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of this moment,” he says as he’s getting ready to leave.

  “Tommy,” I call after him. I grab a pen and piece of scratch paper from my purse and jot my number down on it. “Here’s my number. Call or text me if you have any questions or need anything.”

  He smiles and takes the paper. “Thank you Abigail. I truly appreciate you giving me a second chance,” he replies as he kisses my cheek before walking out of the room.

  Everyone is trying to talk at once that I can’t make out what any one person is saying. Wow, I’m having two little girls. I’m going to have two little princesses. The doctor cleans my belly off and I rub my hands over it and think about my baby girls. This is the happiest day of my life.

  As we all
exit the office, we meet in a circle in the parking lot. “Abigail, make no plans for tomorrow. We are going shopping for anything and everything pink and purple,” Mom orders. Dad rolls his eyes at her, “Do I need to take the credit cards away from you Joyce and only give you cash?”

  Everyone laughs at the comment. “No, Kevin but you may want to pick up a few extra shifts to cover the expense of tomorrow’s shopping extravaganza.”

  Dad shakes his head and puts his arm around mom to lead her to their car. Mike and Katherine both give me a hug and kiss and head to their vehicle. Jason kisses my forehead and opens the door to his SUV and helps me inside. When he gets in, he kisses my hand, “Congratulations on the girls. I’m going to have three gorgeous girls to love now,” he says before pulling out of the parking lot.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Mom and I have spent all week shopping for the babies. We even included Katherine in a couple of the outings though she did decline today’s outing to the hardware store. She claims that a hardware store is not her forte.

  Our first outing was to the baby superstore. My mom went completely shop-happy there and having Katherine during that outing didn’t help my dad’s credit cards one iota. We bought the girls’ cribs and dresser in that trip. I did save my dad money when I pointed out that we would need one changing table and one dresser for them. I didn’t get much of a say when it came to the girls’ bedding and that was alright. Katherine and Mom were having a blast and bedding doesn’t matter too much to me.

  We walk out of the baby superstore with matching pink bedding. It took a large part of the day to decide on the bedding. Mom and Katherine debated and ran material through their fingers. At the end of the day, we all decided on light pink bedding with chocolate brown polka dots and matching trim. The design we picked had the comforter, fitted sheet and bumper pad included. Mom bought the matching mobile, one matching lampshade and the wall decals separate.