by Maegan Abel
I pulled out my phone when it chimed, immediately smiling at the text from Zane.
I hate it when you’re working. The bed feels empty.
I was with him on that. I hated that our days off never seemed to match up anymore. We’d both gotten so used to seeing each other nearly all day, every day, and now we were working shifts that left us only late night hours together. Of course, we made the most of those hours.
The bed feels empty? Why don’t you get your lazy ass up then?
This had become part of our routine. Texting throughout the day as often as we could, staying in communication the best way we knew how when we were forced to be apart. It was better than nothing.
“How much am I paying you to sit on your ass and play on your phone?” Tony’s voice came from the direction of his office. I turned my face, giving him an innocent smile.
“Not nearly enough considering the number of drunk dipshits I’ve had come in to get their junk pierced in the last few days.”
He shook his head as he walked over, grinning. I knew Tony well and I knew he wasn’t really mad. And if he was, he wouldn’t stay angry with me for long.
Tony was a hard guy to read when I’d first met him. He was closed off and he always kept to himself. When I first started working here, I’d barely gotten over being intimidated by Tish and here was this guy, not quite as big as Tish physically, but somehow bigger in presence, who scared the living shit out of me. Not that I ever would’ve told him that.
My phone buzzed again and I looked away from Tony and down to the screen.
I would but I have a huge problem.
I grinned, seeing the shift in the conversation but curious nonetheless.
Uh huh. And what’s the problem?
I glanced back up at Tony who had a smirk on his face as he watched me.
“What?” I asked cautiously.
“Well, while we’re on the topic of piercings, you up for one today?” Tony smiled wider as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“Did you finally decide what you want?” I asked, dropping my feet as I turned to face him. He’d been debating for weeks about a new piercing and I’d told him I’d do it once he made up his mind. He hadn’t mentioned it in front of Tish and that didn’t escape my notice. My best guess was he was either worried Tish would talk shit or worried he’d chicken out and give Tish even more ammo.
“Ampallang,” he said, lifting his chin to try to hide his nerves.
I raised an eyebrow, nudging my head toward the privacy room at the back of the building. “Get in there and drop trou then. I’ll be right behind you.”
Glancing up, I saw Kas’ car round the corner toward the back parking lot. Good. At least she made it before her client. She would be able to keep an eye on the door for me. My phone buzzed again and I checked the message while I waited for Kas.
Well, I had this dream that I woke up to my dick being sucked by my incredibly sexy girlfriend and now I can’t manage to get things under control. I think I need her to come home and take care of this again.
I snorted a laugh at the memory of our morning activities. It had been my way of making up for being such a wimp the last few days while I was fighting a stomach bug.
I guess you’ll just have to spend the day waiting then. I’m working.
Kas walked in then and said a quick hello before heading back to start setting up her station. I followed her, letting her know I was going to pierce Tony so I’d be in the back. She grunted but didn’t really respond. Something was obviously bothering her. Her client walked in just then, so I gave her space as I continued to the back room.
“Hey.” I smiled at Tony, putting on my professional front as I entered. I sat my phone on the counter before pulling on a pair of gloves. I started gathering the supplies I would need, placing them on the tray. Glancing over at Tony, I noticed he was fidgeting as he sat on the edge of the padded table, trying to pretend he wasn’t nervous. “Why did you decide on this piercing?” I asked, trying to get him talking to keep him from freaking himself out.
“I read it would really up the sensation when I’m getting head. And you know how much I love getting head.”
My eyes flicked up to his face as I placed the last of the items on the tray, catching his smirk. I double checked my inventory and yanked off my gloves, tossing them in the garbage before grabbing my phone and pulling up the last text from Zane. I turned the phone toward Tony, letting him read it as I said, “He’s the only one enjoying that service from me these days.” I smiled sweetly as I took the phone back to the counter, pulling out another set of gloves. Tony didn’t speak, just watched as I pulled the latex over my hands and opened two alcohol wipes. “Lay back.”
He did as I requested, resting his arms behind his head as I started cleaning the area for the piercing. I didn’t bother with the courtesy of warming the wipe between my hands as I normally did and at the feel of the cold, he jumped, sucking in a breath.
“Don’t be a baby. That’s nothing.” I held him, pretending not to notice the natural reaction his body had. It wasn’t until he became fully erect and twitched in my hand that I released him. I rolled my eyes, knowing it was intentional. “Seriously?”
“What?” he asked, his angelic smile nearly dripping sin.
“If you’re not going to take this seriously then you can wait and have Tish do it,” I said, stripping off my gloves in irritation.
“Does he know?” His question caught me off guard as I tossed the gloves in the trashcan.
“Does who know?”
“Zane? Does he know I taught you everything he’s enjoying so much in the sack?”
I inhaled sharply, pinning him in place with a look. “Don’t start. Our shit ended months before Zane and I happened and it was you that called it off.”
“Because you didn’t want a relationship and I was tired of hiding shit from my best friend!” Tony yelled. I stiffened, flipping my head to the door and back to him in warning. “You didn’t want Tish to know we were together.”
“Because we weren’t,” I snapped, blowing out a frustrated breath. “We fucked. That was our agreement. It was mutual lust and a love of the fact that we were doing something we knew we shouldn’t be doing. Do you know what Tish would’ve done to you if he figured out what we were up to? What he would still do to you if he ever found out?”
“You mean if I told him I fell in love with you?”
His words knocked the air from my lungs. I fell back, hitting the counter, thankful for the space of the room between us. I stared at him, gaping. I attempted to control my facial expressions but the shock of his words left me reeling.
I watched as he sat up slowly, the whole moment made even more uncomfortable by the fact that his dick was hanging out. “Lili—”
“Don’t,” I said, shaking my head as I held up a hand. “Don’t.”
“I shouldn’t have said that,” he backpedaled. Sliding from the table and grabbing his jeans, he pulled them on with his back to me.
“Then why did you?” I whispered, my eyes burning. Tony was my friend, someone I cared about deeply and someone who had always looked out for me. Those words, that one sentence, changed everything. It complicated everything. “It’s Zane, Tony. I love him. I’ve loved him from the beginning and that’s not going to change. I’m sorry.”
Tony’s posture didn’t change as he stared at the door. He nodded, his back still to me. “Yeah. I’m sorry, too.” He opened the door, leaving it wide as he walked back toward his office.
I waited, expecting to hear his door slam but the sound didn’t come. Slowly, I cleaned and sterilized the room, trying to do anything I could to keep from having to go out and face the rest of the day here. Tony didn’t love me. I knew that. Not really. He cared about me but it wasn’t love.
The knot in my stomach from my nerves and the churning emotions wasn’t helping the nausea that I’d thought had gone away.
By the time I wandered out, Kas was finished wit
h her client. I took a seat in her chair while she buzzed around, cleaning up.
“Everything okay?” I asked. She seemed more flustered than normal.
“Peachy-keen,” she muttered, pausing her movements only long enough to down the coffee she’d carried in with her. She huffed, tossing the empty cup in the trashcan under the counter.
“Right,” I said, slipping out of the chair with the intention of getting her another cup of coffee.
“Sorry. I just…” she paused, glancing around the shop to double check that we were alone. “It was coming up on time to get my birth control implant replaced so Tish and I have been discussing a more permanent solution.”
The way she said it told me it had been an ongoing argument. At my look of confusion, she continued. “Tish doesn’t want kids. And I’m fine with that. Kids have never been in my plans either. I got the implant before Tish and I started dating and I knew when the time came to replace it, I would need to do something different. You know I’ve pretty much moved in with him — my lease is up at the end of the month. I guess I just hoped that he would take the permanent step instead of making me have the surgery.”
My mind was jumping all over the place but I tried to focus. “It’s time to replace it?” I asked, suddenly trying to remember how long the implant was supposed to last.
“Well, it’s been about two and half years and since I have to replace it within the next few months, it seemed like a good time to look into something different. My insurance sucks though and having my tubes tied is just not feasible right now. I’m just going to get another implant so Tish and I can revisit this fight in a few years,” she laughed but my smile was completely fake now.
Three years. The implant was good for three years. It hadn’t been that long yet, had it? I’d gotten it after I moved to Vegas. Kas continued talking, obviously feeling better as my stomach protested the stress of my thoughts. Between that and Tony, it was too much for me. I jumped from the chair, rushing toward the small bathroom. I barely made it before the toast I’d thought would be light enough to hold down made its reappearance.
Once I was sure my stomach had nothing left, I emerged to find Kas standing by with a bottle of water. “I thought you said you were feeling better. You need to go home. We can’t have you here if you’re sick and you know it.” I just stared at her, trying to keep my expression blank as panic clawed at me from inside. I couldn’t think the word and there was no way I could say it. Whatever Kas saw in my face had her eyes widening. She glanced down at my stomach and back.
“No,” I said firmly, heading toward the front counter.
“Are you saying there’s no chance or—”
“I’m saying shut the fuck up, Kas. And I mean it,” I hissed under my breath as the door chimed, drawing our attention to a young couple entering the shop.
“This conversation isn’t over,” Kas shot back before stepping forward to greet the couple.
I reached for my phone, wanting to message Zane just to make myself feel better. Then, I remembered I’d left it in the privacy room and headed back. Grabbing it from the counter, I saw that I had three texts from Zane.
Are you sure I can’t persuade you? I’m much more fun than work.
I was kidding. You know I just miss you.
Something’s wrong with the baby. Lizzie’s at the hospital and I’m on my way there now. I’ll call you when I know more.
I frowned at the screen, considering whether or not to call him but not wanting to overstep or interfere. What was the protocol in this situation? I read his words again, surprised at the genuine concern I felt for all three of them. I hated Lizzie, without a doubt, but I was scared for her, for all of them. The tiny part of me that had wished she didn’t have that connection to Zane was nonexistent in the face of her possibly losing the baby.
I couldn’t think that way. I wouldn’t. It would kill Zane to lose the baby and I didn’t want him to have to go through that.
Movement from the corner of my eye made me turn my head. Tony was leaving his office and heading toward his station, which meant he had to pass by me where I sat at the desk. He paused, his eyes dropping down my body and widening. I followed his gaze, realizing for the first time that while I had been lost in my thoughts of Zane, Lizzie, and their baby, my left hand had somehow come to rest protectively over my abdomen. Tony’s eyes flicked back to mine and I dropped both my hand and my gaze. I could feel the flush creeping into my face. Was it embarrassment? Shame?
“Everything okay?” He asked, sounding genuinely concerned. “You don’t look so great.”
I stared at him, noticing that while he still had tightness around his eyes, he was putting what happened behind us. At least, for the moment.
“Something’s wrong with Lizzie and the baby. They’re at the hospital,” I answered, wanting to be truthful.
He glanced down at my stomach again and though I saw the question in his eyes when he looked at me again, I pretended I didn’t. It wasn’t one I could answer anyway. “Do you need to go?”
“No. I’ll stay for now until I hear more. Hopefully it’s just a false alarm.”
He nodded, taking one last look at my stomach before heading toward his station. I glanced toward Kas who was busy at the drawing table with the couple who had come in earlier. Looking at my phone one more time, I typed out a message to Zane.
Fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly. Don’t panic. I’m sure it’s all going to be okay.
Driving home from the hospital, I finally allowed the emotions I’d been holding back in front of her to flood in. Anger, devastation, guilt, and if I was being honest with myself, relief. I hadn’t wanted to have that tie to Lizzie but I loved the child I never got the chance to meet. Even without proof, it was mine.
If I’d thought the judge giving Lizzie a chance to keep Conner by staying clean would work, she proved me wrong today. The blood work showed that she’d gotten high within the last twenty-four hours and the doctors believe that contributed to the miscarriage. This would be the final piece I’d need to get custody of Conner, but the cost of the victory was the life of another child. Possibly my other child.
I’d texted Lili, told her what happened, and let her know I was staying with Lizzie until she was released. Luckily, Lizzie was going to stay with her mom now. It took a weight off me. I sighed as I realized what a total asshole thought that was. I should want to stay and take care of the woman who had just lost a child but I had no desire to coddle her. I was done playing nice with Lizzie.
Pulling into the garage, I saw the time and realized Conner was most likely already in bed. I wasn’t sure what Lili had told him and the guilt crept in once again. I should’ve come home to spend time with him. This was usually our afternoon together, since it was my day off. Other than the soft sound of the TV in our bedroom, the house was quiet when I entered. I figured Lili would wait up for me.
I froze at the doorway, unable to keep from smiling at the sight. Conner was curled up on my side of the bed, sound asleep with his blanket. And Lili, who was just recovering from being sick, had fallen asleep sitting up beside him. I worried for a moment that maybe Conner had caught whatever Lili had but if he were sick, Lili would’ve called me. While the hollow spot in my heart still ached, this sight made me remember that I had so much to be thankful for.
Walking over to Lili’s side first, I leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. She started, her eyes popping open and a timid smile lighting up her face before the memory of the evening clearly caught up to her. Her smile fell and I covered her mouth with my fingers before she could speak. She was going to apologize, I could see it in her eyes, but I didn’t want to talk about it. Not yet.
“I’m gonna take Conner to bed,” I whispered, pressing my lips to hers before moving back to the other side of the bed. I lifted Conner, surprised at how much heavier he felt every time I had to pick him up. I knew the day would come when he would be too big for this so I intended to enjoy every moment
of it.
After tucking him in and making sure he was still sound asleep, I headed back to the bedroom. Lili was sitting up on the bed now, rubbing her eyes in what looked like an attempt to wake up. It was only then that I realized what was playing on the TV.
“Star Wars?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
Her smile was innocent. “What? Someone has to teach him the ways of the Rebellion.”
Laughing, I held out a hand for her. She took it, letting me pull her to her feet. “Well, I won’t stand in the way of that education.”
“Glad to hear it.” She lifted to her toes, tilting her chin up to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her tighter against me.
“Come shower with me,” I mumbled, the words barely making it out as we kissed. I felt her stiffen in my grip and I leaned back, trying to see her face. Her expression was cautious.
“I… uh… already showered.”
I raised my eyebrow at the blatant lie.
“I’m just tired,” she sighed, yawning. She’d been sick and I knew I was being selfish wanting to use her to keep my mind off everything for a short time, but I needed the distraction.
“How about I wake you up?” I leaned down, finding the soft spot directly behind her ear and grazing it with my teeth. She inhaled sharply and shivered, making me smile against her skin.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” she whispered, pulling away. I gave her a questioning look but she didn’t meet my eyes. “I’ve been sick.”
The second lie in a matter of minutes irritated me. “That didn’t stop you this morning. How about you tell me what’s really going on?”
She sighed, taking another step back, putting herself just out of my reach. “My implant.”
“What about it?”
“It’s due to be replaced.” Her tone was flat.