“So?” Ashley speaks.
“Detention. Looks like we get to fuck with Mr. Hottie for two hours.” I laugh.
“YES!” Ashley yells.
“Ladies care to discuss with the whole class what you are talking about?” Ashley looks at me, and then back to him.
“With all due respect sir. Last time I did I got detention for being honest.” I laugh, and he rolls his eyes.
“Never mind.” He says looking down at his lap. Just then my phone vibrates. I am still staring at him when he looks back up. He cocks his head downward, and I look down at my phone in my lap to see he texted me. I look back up to see him reading on his desk.
J: You can try, but remember that I am in control at school. See how easy it was to get you to spend two hours with me? I could get you suspended for you punching Catrina and slapping Evan. Then I couldn’t stare at you. So what is the deal with Evan and you? Just wondering don’t really care. Oh by the way. I like this feeling I am getting.
I stare at my phone in disbelief. I nudge Ashley and she looks at me. I hand her my phone before Mr. Jones can see me.
“Oh my god La.” All eyes turn towards us even Mr. Jones who arches his brow.
“Sorry, I accidentally elbowed her.” Mr. Jones just shakes his head.
“La, what in the hell does this mean?” I shrug. Just then the bell rings, and I was almost to the door when Mr. Jones spoke.
“Don’t forget Mr. Edwards and Miss. Clark detention three pm and no later, or that will be another detention.” We nod before leaving the classroom.
“You owe me details. See you after detention. I have it with Bean. Ugh.” We say bye as I go towards her class. This day has been good, but bad.
The rest of the day goes okay. No more fights, or arguments. Now I was heading to Mr. Jones class for detention. I see a sign that said go to room 408, which was Mrs. Bean’s class. Awesome I get it with Ashley. I walk into Mrs. Bean’s class and see her talking with Mr. Jones. She looks at me and rolls her eyes.
“Mrs. Clark like I have said over and over again the past few years. You cannot be in here,” I shrug, and turn to walk away.
“No, she is here, because she has detention from my class.” Mrs. Bean’s glaring at him. I walk towards Ashley and sit next to her.
“Oh no you don’t. You get to sit in the back row you, on the other end.” I laugh as I make my way over there and point, and she nods as I flop into my seat.
“Why would you give her detention when the other has it?” I hear Mrs. Bean mumble to Mr. Jones. He laughs and pulls out a book and begins reading. I hear the ding on my phone, and look to see who it is.
Brandon: Oh well I am glad you were rested enough for school. So I thought that you looked stunning today. It was hard to pay attention when I saw you. What are you up to tonight?
Me: I wish you would tell me who you are. It’s a little creepy. Oh well, I am in detention. Apparently outburst in class are not allowed. I am meeting up with this boy John and hopefully getting laid. You?
Ding.
Ashley: So this blows. At least you can text and fuck with Mr. Hottie. Right?
Me: Oh yeah. I am having fun texting the mysterious Brandon.
Ashley: How is that going btw? Figure it out?
Me: No I thought it was Mr. Jones until I got his number now I’m confused.
Ashley: yeah, I have no clue either. Gym? Tonight.
Me: Yeah after I fuck John. He’s hot and I need to get laid.
Brandon: This John guy, he must be a very lucky boy?
“Oh my god. John? Like John?” I laugh as Mr. Jones glares at us.
“Ladies, is there something you need to discuss?” Mrs. Bean states to me. Did she not learn her lesson?
“If you want to know. I was just was telling Ashley that I was going to go to the gym with her after I screw John. Is that okay Mrs. Bean?” She shakes her head and then we all hear a snapping sound like something breaking. We look at Mr. Jones who has a coffee cup in his hands broken. Did he just do that bare handed?
“Sorry I was so focused on my book that I got sucked in. It made me mad. I will clean it up.” He walks out slamming the door causing Ashley and I for the first time to read our text books. I wasn’t sure what Mr. Jones problem was. He returns moments later and this time he whispers something to Mrs. Bean she nods her head and leaving.
“Looks like it will be just us for the remainder of the hour. If you want you can listen to music while you study.” He looks at Ashley who’s beaming now up. He plugs his phone into the docking station. Moments later I feel the burn of my tears. I never mentioned to anyone why this is my favorite song, but it hit the heart. I close my eyes as I listen to the Live- Lightning Crashes. It was okay, I need the pain to come this time to prove I am human. I sit there, and let the tears roll down my eyes. I never once look up at him. I glance at Ashley who was staring at me. Her eyes looked like she were about to cry, not because of the song, but because of me. She knows what this song means to me, she mouths asking if I am okay, and I nod. She glances up to the front and back to me motioning for me to look. I didn’t though. I grab my book, binder, and phone, and all but ran out of the classroom. I didn’t care. I would do detention another day. I make it to my car and cry my heart out. I pick up my phone and dial my mom’s number.
“Baby is everything okay?” I start to sob, she stays on the phone with me until I am done.
“Mom, why does this happen to me? Why did this happen to me? I was only fifteen momma. Why? It wasn’t my fault you have to believe me that it wasn’t my fault.” I cry more, I hear my mom’s voice break into a sob.
“Baby, it isn’t your fault. I promise you. It’s just something that had happened, and nobody not me, you, your father, or Ashley could do anything about it.” She mouths something in the back ground I hear shuffling, and then my dad’s voice.
“Honey, where are you?” I control my sobs as the next song by Live play in the back ground.
“At the school Ashley and I got detention and then I ran out, and now I am waiting for Ashley.” He sighs.
“Do not drive. Let Ashley drive.” My mom takes the phone back.
“Baby, what do you want?” I cry again, not able to control it around my mom.
“I want you mommy, I need you.” She sighs.
“I love you.” I realize she wasn’t coming.
“I love you too mommy.” I hang up, and wipe my eyes as Ashley gets into the car.
“Want me to drive?” I nod, switching places with her. We drive back to my house in silence. She gets out with me and we get the ice cream and go to the TV room to watch One Tree hill reruns. I refuse to answer my phone as it continually blows up with phone calls from J. It just wasn’t the right time. I glance as a text comes through.
Brandon: So did your night turn out as good as you hoped?
Another text.
J: I am not sure what happened back there, but like I said I am here for you.
“Brandon or Mr. Jones?” Ashley whispers to me.
“Both.” I left it like that as I feel myself drifting to sleep.
“Lannie, honey wake up baby.” I peel my eyes open to see my mom standing there. Wait my mom?
“Mom?” I embrace her into a hug, and cry some more. She came.
“I am sorry it took so long, but the flight was delayed. I am here for as long as you need me.” I hold onto her.
“Thank you mommy. You don’t get how much it means to me.” She wipes my makeup off my cheeks.
“Don’t cry your pretty little eyes my sweet angel. How about we say screw school this week? You did have a death in the family.” I laugh, and nod my head. This was perfect. My mom picks up her phone and I assume she’s calling Ashley’s mom. I glance at the clock and see it’s four in the morning. Wow.
“All set. She said that Ashley can take it off too since she is attending the funeral.” I love my mom.
“Thank you. Love you I’m going to go to bed with Ashley.” She nods a
nd I make my way up stairs where Ashley’s sleeping. She’s going to be excited. I am still shocked my mom came. I never in a million years thought that when I said I needed her she would show up. My parents care about money and the fast life. So this little thing made me realize that they do still love me. I glance at my phone and see I have two texts.
Brandon: I hope that you are okay. Haven’t heard from you lately.
J: Please just let me know that you are okay. I am worried now.
I power down my phone as I fell back to sleep. My dreams are nightmares. My reality coming back to life.
“Why are you mad at me?” I stared into those green eyes. The ones that was so warm and comforting. Now hold nothing.
“I am sorry, but it is best we don’t talk right now. I have to go.” I grabbed his shirt as he walked out of my house. He wasn’t leaving so easily.
“Please talk to me.” I jump into his truck, and he tried to kick me out. He finally gives up and takes off down the road angry. I am pleading for him to stop. Just than a truck runs a red light and hits us straight on.
I jerk myself awake feeling the pounding of my heart. Why after two years was I dreaming of that night. I try to calm down, but the anxiety of the dream has already kicked in. Ashley walks in and sees me, and runs to my bathroom.
“Here take them now.” I down the pills and drink the water. I start to feel the effect of the pills. They do work, but it makes me feel like a zombie.
“Please do not tell my mom. She booked a flight for tonight to head back and I don’t want her to know the dreams started again please.” Ashley nods her head, but don’t looks satisfied.
The reminder of the week I walk around like a ghost. My mom left after I convinced her I was just drained and needed a monster. She went to the store and bought me a case. I tried to show her it worked, but then she thought it was the crying and lack of sleep. I just didn’t correct her. I had missed a month of school last year because of this and the year before when it happened I missed half a year. Barely passing. I’m now worried and scared of the dreams and the state my mind would go in.
“Lannie?” I glance at Ashley as she walks through the door with her suite case.
“Yeah?” She sighs before opening the door all the way. I haven’t powered back on my phone since Tuesday morning. There stood Mr. Jones looking like hell. I hadn’t mentioned to Ashley that each night I have been taking pills to help me sleep. I didn’t like her worrying about me.
“I will give you two a minute. Is your bag packed?” I nod at her. She goes up to my room as I power the TV off.
“Lannie?” I hear the hesitation in his voice. I close my eyes. Tears stung, but I refuse to let them fall.
“Yeah?” He sits next to me putting his hand on my leg.
“Are you okay? You haven’t been at school all week since Monday and neither has Ashley.” I look at him and smile the best I can.
“I am fine. More family issues. If you will excuse me I have to get to the airport. I am pretty sure that was my cab that just honked. Ashley, you ready?” She comes down with my suite case and nods. J walks out the door and down to his house. We get into the cab and leave. I decide to at least let Brandon know that I wasn’t ignoring him. I wish I knew who he was.
“I love you La. We will get through this together.” I nod.
“I am in love Ash.” She almost fell forward as she turns to look at me.
“With who?” I turn to her as tears slide down my cheek. “Oh Lannie. No. What about Brandon?” She wipes my tears.
“I don’t even know who he is. I text him for fun, if he would just show himself maybe. But no probably not. What am I supposed to do? I do not do love. Especially after what a great weekend and being in school for almost two months? Now look at me. I’ve had a mental break down at school and am on anxiety medicine to help again. Its sophomore year all over again.” I look out the window as the airport comes into view.
“La, I love you and first off. That was a freak accident. After the thing with Evan that was just the push that sent you over the edge. Also you can love again. Just not him, well, not now next year. Also I love Gage.” I laugh. I have known that, just been waiting for her to admit it. I pull out my phone and send J a quick text.
Me: I told you we should stop texting, hanging out, and even talking. I can’t do this. Please just be a teacher. This is goodbye. I hate having feelings that I can’t control, but I can control where to put a stop at it. This is the stop. This is me taking control of my life.
I feel my heart break more than I want to admit. We get on the plane and I power down my phone again.
CHAPTER 4
We wake up early to get ready for the day. The day I dreaded came too soon. I decide on a simple cute black dress that flows when it goes past my waist, black pumps, my hair is pinned to the side with curls, and my makeup is light. Ashley wears the same outfit, but did her hair in a curly ponytail. We hug and make our way to the rental car. Making it to the church just in time.
“I will be here with you the whole time.” I hug her as we step out of the rental car. I know my mom, dad, and brother were already up front sitting. I told them that I would sit in the back with Ashley. Hoping no body recognizes me. I kept my thick blinged out sun glasses on to hide my face. Ashley holds my hand as we wait for it to start. I hear the man and woman whisper in front of me.
“Can you believe that Jason’s own daughter hasn’t seen this family in five years? She didn’t even have the nerve to show up to her own grandmother’s funeral.” I clinch my fist getting angry. I should have taken a damn pill. The man turns to her talking back.
“Oh I know right. That dang Clark girl was out of control when she was younger, what makes you think she any better now? She’s just a spoiled brat.” I look up, and my mom was in deep conversation with my dad. They glance back at me and he gives me a weak smile causing the couple in front of me to stick there nosey asses in my business. They turn and arch there head at me. I smile and wave. The woman leans forward.
“We’re you close to the family? Jason Clark seems to know who you are. They live in Florida right?” I glance at Ashley’s who trying her best to keep her mouth shut. I lean forward towards her.
“Why yes I am Ma’am. One might even say I am related at how close I am to the Clark family.” She smiles not knowing what I mean as Ashley giggles a little.
“So where did you meet the Clark family?” Damn got to hand it to this woman she doesn’t give up.
“I met them in Florida. I am from there. This here is Ashley she is also close to the family. We traveled from Florida to be here.” She nods at Ashley and then turns back to me.
“I am sorry I didn’t catch your name dear.” I glance at Ashley who knows it’s about to get funny real quick.
“Oh it’s not a problem. I didn’t give it to you. My name is Lannie. Lannie Clark. The spoiled brat who didn’t show up to her own grandmother’s funeral. Also according to him the out control child. Or was that you who had said that? Oh well who cares, right? All I know is if you don’t keep my name out of your mouth I will show you how out of control I can get.” Her eyes widen. I remove my shades, and the look her face has is priceless. I put them back on and sit back as the ceremony starts. The lady keeps glancing back at me. Serves her right for being disrespectful.
An hour later Ashley and I get up, and walk out of the church. I for once need a cigarette or a pill. I see my mom and dad talking as Mark runs off to play with our cousins who are around his age. My mom waves at me and I wave back. Moments later the old woman was speaking in a crowd that my mom is in. They all glance at me and I see the glare from other family members. I wave and they all show disgust on their faces. That makes me actually laugh. If it weren’t for my parents I wouldn’t be here. My mom and aunt walk over here. I have never spoken to her really, other than hearing my uncle bash me, she never really speaks.
“Lannie you remember your Aunt Caroline?” I look at my mom like really?
“Sorry mom I can’t say I do. I have never been wanted by this family since I was born. Faces seem to run together. So you are my aunt? Who is your husband? The bastard that talks shit about me while I am on the phone with my mom?” Her eyes grow wide as she nods. I smirk at her. I know she never said anything about me, but the point is that she hasn’t said or did shit about it.
“I’m sorry Lannie it is just so complicated. So are you going to the lunch thing at our house?” I glance at Ashley who has the same dumb look on her face.
“You know I can’t it is complicated. Oh wait no isn’t I am not wanted by this family and your husband speaks to kids like their dogs. Excuse me if I decline and not put myself through that.” She bows her head as I sigh.
“You are not welcomed here you little bitch.” I look up to see my uncle standing there next to Caroline. She stiffens and he glares at me.
“Well I guess it is a good thing that I was here for my dad, and not for you or anybody else. I am leaving mom. Tell dad I love him.” I go to walk away when Uncle Tim grabs my arm.
“I wasn’t done talking to you, you little brat.” I slap him which makes him slap me in return. I stand there as my dad does nothing, my mom does nothing. My whole family did the same shit when my grandma would beat me.
“I am done talking. Next time you fucking touch me. Not only will I call the cops on you, I will tell them that you rapped me which isn’t true, but who are they going to believe? I can ruin your life in matter of seconds. So please hit me again. Bye mom, bye dad.” I get in the car as Ashley’s already in there waiting.
“Let’s go home.” She nods as we head to the hotel and grab our bags. I call the airport to see if we could change the flight time. They have two seats available it will charge more, but since its daddy’s credit card that was on file I went ahead and bumped us up to first class. It was the least he could do. We loaded on the plane and I snuck off to the bathroom. I look at the pill bottle in my purse. I debate on whether or not to take them. I throw two in my mouth and walk out like nothing happened. We land around five in the afternoon. Ashley and I were supposed to take a cab, but when I see the familiar Jeep parked out on the curb I laugh.
Trouble Page 5