“Lannie, we have a class together. Yay.” I look to see Ashley coming up to the seats. I’m glad we finally have one together.
“I know. I wonder if Mr. Ingram is going to be a hard ass like he was last year from what people say.” She smiles. It’s been a minute and still no teacher. That’s weird. I look up to see the dean Mrs. Ross standing there.
“Hello class, Mr. Ingram has retired and is no long with us at this school. So we have a new teacher. He is amazing one at that and is new so treat him with respect” She walks out of the class and we all start talking. I begin to start on the essay that I was given in first period. I am on a roll.
“Lannie. Lannie. God damnit Lannie.” I snap my head towards Ashley who apparently has been trying to get my attention.
“What?” She is trying to get my attention somewhere, but I don’t see where. I suddenly feel hot, the air is thickening, and the tingles go up all around. This only happens when.
“Miss. Rogers and Miss. Clark. I’m glad to see you girls haven’t changed.” My eyes grow wide as I stare at Ashley. She is beaming.
“Was trying to tell you.” This is a dream. Damn no this is Déjà vu again. I won’t look ahead, I won’t look ahead. I stare at my notebook trying to win the power over my head. I stay looking at my feet. Ashley is poking me with a pencil.
“What now?” She isn’t speaking to me. The room becomes very quiet or I think.
“Miss. Clark?” The voice is closer this isn’t happening. I turn and look up, there he is. Oh my god. The time has only made him look better, damn. His hair was tasseled around and his sweater vest was actually sexy. He can’t be my teacher. His eyes were the brown that I grew to love.
“Can I help you sir?” I look down to see to another teacher standing there. He’s a bit older maybe late thirties early forties. He looks to be a teacher. I’m so confused. He looks at me and winks before walking down there.
“Sorry was just giving Miss. Clark something.” The teacher looks at Ashley and me.
“Are you new here as well?” As well?
“No, I’m actually a history professor at Columbia University. Like I said I was just giving Miss. Clark something. Good day sir.” I watch him turn to me and wink one more time before exiting the classroom. He wasn’t my teacher, but he is a teacher in New York. He moved here because of me.
“Ashley what in the hell is going on.” She smiles at me.
“Go get your Prince Charming Lannie.” I shake my head no.
“Lannie, at least go talk to him you never know.” I hop up grabbing my things I make it to the door before the teacher stops me.
“Ma’am I need you take your seat please.” I look at Ashley.
“Sorry it’s that time of month and no way in hell am I going to sit thru the introduction and have blood leaking all over my white shorts. I’m going to the bathroom.” He nods as the class looks at me and Ashley laughs. We were back. I didn’t even know if he would still be there. He did have to work as well. I make it outside and almost give up.
“I knew you would come for me. Just didn’t think it would have taken you that long. Almost gave up.” I hear the voice and turn around and sure enough there he is. Is this even real? Is he even here?
“Oh you think that is the reason? I thought it was because I need a cigarette the teacher isn’t nearly half as fun as you are.” I walk towards the parking lot. I have a feeling I wasn’t going back to class, not for today that is.
“So how freaked out where you thinking that I was your teacher all over again?” I want to ask so many questions about this, but I can’t.
“That wasn’t funny. I seriously thought that I was going to have a heart attack and that would have been on you.” He glances at my wrist and points towards it.
“I got it few months ago. It’s my life and I need to love it.” He grabs my wrist and I feel the tingles all the way from his fingers to my toes. We are connected as one and we have always been.
“It suites you. So have dinner plans?” I think, I do with Jake, but I can change that.
“Nope, nothing I can’t move around. What time?” He still has my wrist and I wish that we can stay like this forever.
“I will pick you up around seven.” He drops my hand and walks away. Does he even know where I live? I head back inside hoping I can get through this day.
The day flew by and today was always the worst, because my Monday classes, there were five and the rest of the week there were two expect for Wednesday and Friday. I was off those days. I was getting nervous by the minute. I call Jake and we talk all the way home about it. He started dating this lady about a month ago who is always so sweet and kind. She accepted that we are friends, which in his book was number one. He wants me to be happy; he also knows that is with Brandon. He’s confused that he didn’t know either about the job. I found out his family funds money to Columbia just to help it. Now I’m sitting here in this wonderful blue flowing dress and of course one of the many pair of Marc Jacob glitter shoes. I love them all and now I decided on the black. I hear the knock on the door and I freak a little.
“Lannie why are you freaking out?” She stares at me and that is why I am.
“I never had been on a real date with Brandon, Ash.” She smiles at me. Grabs my hand and drags me towards the living room. I step out and see him sitting on the couch talking to Gage. He is dressed in denim blue jeans, a baby blue button up shirt and dress shoes. He stops in mid conversation and turns towards me. We stare at each other for so long that Ashley and Gage disappear into the other room.
“Wow Lannie.” I blush. We walk out the door and towards his jeep. I am nervous on the drive over there and all I can see is that the clouds are becoming dark and I wonder if it is going to rain? We pull up to a seafood restaurant and he helps me out. Once we are inside and seated I think I need to ask all the right questions before I even try anything.
“Brandon, we need to talk.” He looks up and nods his head. The waitress shows up and runs through the specials. He orders us a Gin and Coke and I am surprise that she doesn’t ID me, then I notice she is too busy flirting with him. Ugh woman.
“Lannie, I know, but now?” I think about it if it doesn’t happen now it will never happen.
“Please?” He nods his head as the waitress takes our order and gives us our drinks. I didn’t know if I should go first or what. I open my mouth, but he stops me.
“Lannie, what I said to you that day was horrible. I was just angry and upset. More at myself than you or Rhonda. I was upset that I was standing there supposed to be marrying her and as soon as I spotted you walking in that door my heart shattered. More so that I could never be the one that you walk towards with. Once Gage made you look up and our eyes where connected I saw different. I didn’t see the pink bridesmaid dress, but a flowing white wedding dress. I saw you as a bride not as the maid. I pictured myself standing there marrying you not her. I felt sick that I was having these feelings on my wedding day about a woman who wasn’t even my soon to be wife. It was tearing me apart, because I would never get that with you. I didn’t even know the tear fell from my eye. I haven’t cried in so long. That right there did something to my heart that I can’t even explain. You stood there staring at me and I couldn’t take my eyes off you. Then she walked down the aisle and I knew whether I could admit it or not that she wasn’t the right one. I knew it, because when she walked down I didn’t feel half the emotion I did when you did and she was the one I was marrying. I glanced one more time at you before she got to me and I saw that you were breaking. That I was causing you to break. It tore me up. Throughout the ceremony I was blank. I don’t remember anything until Rhonda asked me if I loved you. I was shocked and didn’t know what was going on. I couldn’t lie I wanted too, but when she told me that you told her that you loved me, yeah that is where I got pissed. I thought that you did it on purpose. I ran after her because how would that look to chase you? I couldn’t find her. I walked outside and saw you sitting in the rain.
You looked like a mess. I didn’t expect to go off on you, but I did. I had no right to say that to you and I’m sorry. I found her later at the airport and we talked. She told me what really happened and she was okay with it, because she knows we were meant for each other. I thanked her and left. I tried to call you, but no luck even had Ashley and Gage call you, but nothing. Than Rhonda texted me. She told me you were there and that I needed to give you space. The more the space the anger I grew at myself. I took it upon myself that if I want something I have to go get it. Applied to Columbia and they needed me right away. Mark didn’t want to come though so I asked Rhonda if she mind letting him stay with her for the semester until I know if this permanent. He told me that if it did work out he may not want to move here.” That was a crap load. I can’t process all these at once. It’s so hard. He loves me. Mark.
“Lannie?” I hold finger up trying process everything that has been told to me. Can this really be happening?
“Okay, first off if Mark is truly happy I can’t ask him to leave I wouldn’t want that. As for the wedding. That was the most intense thing ever. I really was scared when she asked me if I loved you. I mean I know she knew, but I guess I wanted her to know the honesty behind it. But Brandon you ran after her and you told me you never wanted to see me again. Even made arrangements for me to not see you with Mark. I don’t get why you would up and leave without anyone knowing. Seeing you marry someone else hurt me, but the fact that you were crying for me on your wedding day my tore the heart more than anything. I’m not sure if we can be together since all we cause is pain in each other. That is how it always is. What makes you think this time will be any different?” I start picking at my food. I was no longer hungry. I just want answers I’m confused on how to start with this.
“Want to know when I knew that you were the one for me? I mean the real deal and I was going to get you no matter what?” I look up curious more than ever now. I nod my head.
“It was the first week of school. I walked up the same stairs that you crashed into me; I walked into the same classroom where I knew you were going to be trouble. I stood there at a seat that you once sat at. I watched you grow from a badass to a person. It was the beginning of the frat party at the house and I sat on that bench thinking how I stared at you for hours, dancing, flirting, and having a great time. I remembered I couldn’t contain myself when I saw you alone and had to speak to you. That night changed it all. I saw a glimpse into the real you rather you knew it or not. I saw a unique Lannie that not many get to see. I couldn’t stay. I left and went home and it was like I was replaying the night in my head. I slept in the guest room that night while Mark went out with Rhonda. Like I did that night, when I awoke I walked into the kitchen and remembering seeing you and you looked like a hot mess, but damnit if it wasn’t the most amazing sight ever. I was so thankful when you agreed to go to the beach house, because I wouldn’t of been able to go if not. You looked like an angel with the ocean in front of you. That weekend changed me forever and I knew in that moment no matter where I go or what I do you were always going to be on my mind. Lannie you are it for me. I know that we need to still take it day by day, but I’m willing to do that for you.” I know what my heart wants, but another broken heart will send me over the edge.
“Can we enjoy the night and see what tomorrow brings?” he smiles and nods. I just hope that tomorrow brought this right here. We talk about everything from school to how he came to decision to move. We laugh as I told him about Jake, but that we are great friends. He didn’t seem jealous only because he and Rhonda are great friends too of course. But she does have a boyfriend. I never wanted this night to end. He tells me that he lives about a mile down the road. I wish it were the same complex, but oh well. He pulls up and leans in to kiss me and the way his tongue slides into my mouth makes me moan. The simplest of pleasures and I’m about combust right here. We pull away and are breathing heavy. I kiss his cheek and get out of the car, because I know if I don’t, then something will happen. I walk my little ass to my place. Once inside I see no one is awake. I look at the clock and notice it is one in the morning. Shit. I’m going to be dragging tomorrow. I walk into bedroom strip and climb into bed hoping that tomorrow is a better day.
“Lannie the way the air blows makes the fishtail braid you do look gorgeous. I hope that one day you get to meet my brother. He is wonderful and awesome. I sometimes forget about the age difference, because to him we aren’t that far apart and I’m not treated like a kid.” I can barely breath being so high up on this cliff.
“Chad, I hope that I get to meet him too.” He walks over wrapping his hands around me. This little moment I forget that we aren’t a couple, because right now we feel like we are.
“Lannie. Are you scared?” I am confused. Am I scared of this cliff? Hell yeah.
“Of what?” He looks into my eyes and I see something that is so unfamiliar.
“Of falling too hard, to fast, and not being able to control the shattering that will happen? Are you scared to live life on the edge and take a chance at something that maybe not be able to have tomorrow? Are you scared of just living in general?” I think hard, because I am. I never really take chances due to my grades having to be perfect.
“I am. I am scared that the consequence of it will not be worth it in the end. I am scared of the maybes when I know I need the for sure.” He nods his head in this moment he looks so grown up and I feel as though I am a kid.
“Let’s jump.” Do what? Jump off what?
“Come La. Never know how to conquer the fear if you don’t just do it.” I smile as I grab his hand. He counts to three and we take off jumping off the cliff into the water.
I wake up smiling remembering when I became brave and did the dares. Best decision ever taking the plunge and jumping off. That was when the fear started becoming nothing for me. I knew why I had that dream it was a sign. If I don’t try now with Brandon, than how will I ever know that we have something more together? I jump out of bed throwing on shoes, pants, and a tank top on. My jacket is in the car so I just need to get my keys.
“Ashley, I need my damn keys. How can I leave if there isn’t any way for me to leave?” I start searching everywhere.
“Lannie, chill. Its Tuesday class doesn’t start until noon. It’s only eight in the morning.” I look at the clock what the hell is happening to me? There is a knock at the door and I’m too busy searching to even go there. She rolls her eyes at me as she stumbles towards the door. She walks back in I hear her footsteps.
“Lannie, there someone here for you.” Oh not now. Keys.
“Well tell them to go away. I figured out what I want in life. I know it may sound stupid, but I had another Chad dream, but this time I woke up in good mood. I remember something that he told me. It was like he was coming back to me giving me this, pushing me. Damn him always pushing me to be bad.” I turn towards her and stop dead in my tracks.
“Like I was saying. Someone is here to see you.” I smile as Brandon’s leaning against the door jamb with a monster in his hands. He is smiling at me and I just want it to be all okay.
“I will give you guys a minute.” She walks towards her room shutting the door.
“So about this dream. What was it about?” I feel bad. It’s about his brother.
“Just something he asked me. Then took my fear right out of me. He pushed me to be something other than afraid.” I can’t help but to smile.
“He made you jump off that cliff didn’t he?” I look up and he is laughing, like a really hard laugh.
“That asshole. He stole that from me. I made him face fear head on by jumping off that cliff and he took you there. You were the one he was going on and on about that night.” It warms me knowing that he did truly want the more then I had hoped for.
“I guess so. Wow it has been three years since that has happened. How do you do it?” He walks towards me and I look up to him. He wraps his arms around me and I do the same.
“Good morning
sweetheart.” I laugh. I wish I didn’t have class.
“Oh why aren’t you on your way to class?” I just now thought of the time.
“I don’t have any classes today. Tuesday and Friday’s are my off days during the week. So I’m yours all day.” I hate classes on Tuesday.
“Well I’m not going then. I want to stay here with you all day and just be us.” I think he’s going to tell me no.
“As a teacher I say no, but as the man that wants you to himself, I say do it.” I laugh as he kisses me so deeply like he hasn’t had me in forever.
“Lannie, I want this between us official. I know it won’t be easy, but hell what is? I have loved you since you fell on your ass. Please just try that is all I’m asking.” I smile, wish he knew that I have been trying.
“Of course silly.” He grabs me carrying me to my room where he showed me just how much he has truly wanted me. This right here was worth all the TROUBLE it caused my heart. He was it and I knew it.
EPILOGUE
BRANDON’S POV
I’m not sure how I am able to stand here and be calm. This can’t be good. She was supposed to be here over an hour ago. Now no one can find her or has heard from her. Gage went searching as well as Ashley. The guest are starting to get talkative making me think stupid thoughts. This isn’t like the first time. The first time I didn’t feel nothing, not the cold feet, not scared, until she walked down. I see Gage running up the aisle smiling and I know that she has been located. He shakes my hand and steps to the side. Then I hear the music start. It’s Jason Mraz Best Friend. Damn this man and her liking his music. There is Ashley in flowing knee length white dress. I shake my head at the color choices she picked out. I wait before glancing at who stands next to her because I know that once I do that will be it for me. I inhale deeply secretly thanking my brother above for giving me this gift. I glance up and our eyes lock just like they did five years ago. She is stunning. She’s wearing a baby blue wedding dress that flows to her knees and then stops except for the back that continues to fall all the way to her ankles and there she is wearing the sliver glitter pumps just like that day. They stop and the pastor speaks.
Trouble Page 20