[Unorthodox 01.0] Unorthodox Therapy

by Lilah E. Noir

  “I was sure you'd say so. My point is I'll do whatever it takes to help your company while I get to learn from the inside. Even if I never become one of your software engineers, I'd be proud to be one of those who contributes to your success.”

  Lina crossed her arms over her chest and looked at me as if trying to assess me.

  “Mind if I call you by your first name?”

  I shook my head.

  When she spoke, her voice was laced with motherly concern and warmth.

  “Thomas, you appear to be an ambitious young man, but shouldn't you be preparing for college right now? Trust me, the job I'm offering isn't the type you can do while you're studying. I admire your resolution but this is the time when you should be enjoying your youth, studying and partying rather than working full-time.”

  She was treating me like a kid, which increased my primal need to bend her over my knee and give her a good spanking. My rational self knew Lina Riley had a very good reason to talk that way. I was touched by her unexpectedly warm and human approach.

  “Well, I'll be honest with you. I'm in a unique situation.” I took my time wiping my rimmed glasses and finally turned to look at her, trying to speak as quickly as possible. Being candid didn't mean trying to get a job with a fucking sob story. “My father died when I was very little. Ever since, my mother has been kind of... obsessive. To cut a long story short, her entire world has revolved around me. She’s got specific ideas about how I should live my life. She has been grooming me to become my dad's exact replica. I know it’s messed up. Whenever I try to tell her business and finance aren't my thing, she just flips and starts accusing me of not appreciating everything she’s done for me. She believes I'm just wasting my time with all this ‘computer stuff’.” I squeezed my hands and focused my attention on a spot on the coffee table. I feared I sounded like a self-pitying twat. “She's been controlling my life, friends, all the activities I take part in. I feel like a dog on a leash. I've been a good son, doing what I was told, trying to please her, but damn, it's suffocating,” What the hell was I doing, spilling my guts in front of this stranger who probably thought I was a nutcase?

  “Keep talking.” She reassured me with a nod as if sensing my confused emotions.

  “At one point it was clear this would go on forever if I didn’t do something about it. After all, I'm the one who defines my own destiny.” I sighed and raised my eyes to meet Lina's gaze. The blue crystal daggers of her eyes were now warm, peaceful lakes. “I was accepted to some of the best business colleges. When I let her know I did not intend to enroll, and that I wanted to focus on computer science, she lost it and said she had no plans of supporting me. So I could either revert to my old ways and do as she asked or I was on my own.” My laughter sounded bitter and choked. It was the first time I’d got it off my chest, not realizing how much of a burden it had been. “I also have to move out of our home unless I find a job and start paying the rent.”

  “Why don't you apply for scholarships? There are plenty of options. Or just skip college and find a job at a software company?” Lina said, and the caution was obvious in her voice.

  “Believe me, I've been trying to do that for the past two months since I graduated.” I took my glasses off and rubbed my forehead. “I won't be able to get a scholarship even with my academic record. I wasted so much time with my mother's extra courses, summer business camps and internships that I couldn't develop my skills to the required level. Don't get me wrong, Ms. Riley, I can code. I went through every possible online training program at Lynda.com, Treehouse, LearnToCodeTheHardWay.com and the rest, but I was not good enough for most companies to ignore my lack of degree or experience.” The smile on my face was about to crack but I kept faking a nonchalant attitude. “Especially if they can outsource to India.”

  Lina was silent for a long time as if assessing what she heard. The sweat on my squeezed palms was slippery and the tension slowly began to drive me mad. At this point, I was ready, very much against my nature, to kneel in front of her and beg. I could see the wheels were turning in her head but she was not giving any hint of what she was thinking.

  Finally, Lina turned her back on me and collected a slick laptop from her desk. She placed it on top of the coffee table and moved next to me on the couch. Her sweet perfume and body warmth eased my despair but they made the situation in my jeans even worse.

  Lina clicked on one of the icons on her desktop and a few seconds later, it loaded a questionnaire with a simple interface. It had different sections covering topics from OS x knowledge through PHP, C based languages, Java, iOS and Android. I wasn't prepared for a test, but right now I was ready to do anything to impress her.

  “This is a custom test I developed especially for recruiting new employees. You’ve got one hour.”

  With those words, Lina retreated to her desk and opened one of the folders in front of her, completely dismissing my presence. Still to this day, I've no idea how I succeeded in getting my mind out of the gutter long enough to focus on that test. All my thoughts were focused on that unapproachable goddess in a fancy suit who held my entire world in her delicate hands, but somehow, I managed it.

  Lina checked my results after the painful hour of effort came to a close. Her pretty features were perfectly still while she went through the final stats. It shouldn't have taken her more than a minute but the minx prolonged the moment of waiting. I was on the verge of breaking when Lina picked up the phone on her desk and dialed a number with a decisive expression. She punched the conference button, and the next thing I knew the drawling sound of the bimbo from earlier echoed through the room.

  “Yeah, boss?”

  Lina rolled her eyes but as she spoke, her voice was sickly sweet.

  “Sarah, you can take your things and leave. Your services are no longer needed.”

  “Oh? Am I getting paid for today?”

  “Just the hours you already did. Make sure to clock out.”

  “And what about yesterday, boss? I did two hours overtime,” the girl said with an energetic tone.

  “Updating your Facebook statuses on the company internet doesn't count as work, Sarah. You should know that by now. You may also inform your agency that I don't need their services any longer. Have a nice day, sweetheart. Good luck.”

  “Whatever. Stupid cunt,” Sarah yelled and slammed the phone down. I never expected someone as lazy as she appeared to have such a forceful voice. Lina rolled her eyes and turned to me.

  “Thomas, you’ve got potential, but right now all my slots are filled and what I really need is a PA. You’ve got the skills, judging by your resume. I also want to observe your work ethic before I make any serious commitment to training you. You can start on Monday, but there are some conditions.”

  “Anything you say, Ms. Riley.”

  “First, dress code. No jeans, t-shirts, visible piercings or tattoos. I expect you to wear white or gray open collar shirts, black pants and black closed shoes. Fix your hair and refrain from such drastic hair color. Whenever it's financially possible, you may think of changing your glasses' frames.” Her confident smile lit up her face.

  Oh, you love bossing people around, don't you, honey? I thought to myself. I wonder what you would be like if the tables were turned.

  “Are you so strict with programmers? They didn’t look like they followed any dress code.”

  “Programmers don't have to meet end customers. You represent me so you can't look sloppy. I've already suffered enough damage from all my former temp workers.” Lina pulled a pack of cigarettes from her top drawer and stared at them with a guilty look. “I'll have your working account set up today. You will have a one week trial period. I'm taking a risk with you, so please try not to disappoint me.”

  When I reached out to squeeze her hand, it was with a new-found confidence. It showed in my voice as well.

  “I'll do my best to exceed your expectations, Ms. Riley.”

  “Good. Now get out of here and enjoy your last we
ekend of freedom.” She said it with a smile but it was clear she wanted to be on her own. Her available hand was clutching the cigarettes as if they were a lifeline.

  Before I walked out of the door, I turned around and stared at her as she opened the packet.

  “May I ask you something?”

  “You may but I can’t guarantee I'll answer.” She was a bit irritated but I had enough experience to know not to back off just because of a woman's anger.

  “Why did you decide to start a company? I mean, you must have been a great programmer and a valued employee, with all those places you worked. Starting your own business is risky in today's economic climate. I'm just... curious.”

  Lina regarded me for a long time before she spoke.

  “I’ve got a motto that’s led me to some of my best accomplishments in life. You should always do the exact things you're afraid of. That's all I'll tell you at this point.”

  The memory of her shaking hands as she reached out to light the cigarette remained with me long after that day, but as I left the boring office building, I was too overwhelmed with joy to dwell on it. Thanks to that alluring woman, I could finally start defining my own future.

  I took one step back from the full-length mirror in my bedroom to examine the final result. Was the red blouse too bold in color? It gave a good contrast to the pinstripe navy blue skirt. Its cleavage was too revealing but if I kept it buttoned up, it would stifle me. The night outside was not hot at all but I hated feeling suffocated. Perhaps my new silk scarf could cover the excessive flesh. Should I pin my hair to the back of my head or leave it down? Was the skirt too short? What if he caught sight of my stockings? Should I wear pantyhose instead? I hadn’t worn them since the nineties so it would be ridiculous. Nobody had ever guessed what was hidden behind my business outfits during the thousands of meetings and conferences I'd attended over the last decade.

  The skirt was just an inch above my knee so it would be safe. What if Thomas realized his boss was wearing sexy lingerie by some accident? It was not like I was the only woman who enjoyed feeling an extra boost of confidence and hidden sensuality. Besides, with all this talk about him being a gentleman, he'd probably pretend not to notice.

  Finally, I sat down on my bed and closed my eyes, trying to calm down. What was it about choosing clothes that got me so worked up out of the blue? Some might say it was typical female behavior and maybe they'd be right. However, I’d had a strict system ever since my college days when it came to clothing. I never spent more than a minute in my walk-in closet. I'd usually plan my outfits one week ahead of time based on the current schedule. The scheme included every single detail – suit, dress, shoes, handbag and accessories. It was one of the reasons my mornings were hassle-free. It took me about half an hour to get dressed and fix my hair and makeup. That left plenty of free time to catch up with the latest news in the industry.

  The problem was my schedule didn’t usually include ‘casual drink at an employee's house’. I was not some cold bitch who treated people who worked for her as if they were less than human beings. I often organized different activities for them. Most of the time we'd all go out to a club or have an indoors party at the office, especially after the successful launch of a project.

  However, this would be the first time I'd visited an employee at his home.

  How appropriate would it be? Especially when I planned to announce his promotion next week.

  A low growl escaped my lips and I slammed a fist against the soft duvet. It was just an informal invitation for drinks between two people, for God's sake. Nothing to write home about. If I had to be honest, Thomas was also a friend. So why should meeting him be any different than visiting anybody else?

  Just go there, act natural and see how the evening pans out.

  Finally, I decided on a black skirt suit, red blouse, and charcoal gray pumps. No jewelry. Evening makeup. My hair would be in a pinned bun with some loose tendrils escaping. Not too strict and not too casual.

  As I started applying some foundation to my face, I thought about the past seven years. There were a myriad of reasons why hiring Thomas had been a bad idea at the time. People who used sob stories to cloud my judgment were a pet peeve of mine. Back then, he sounded way too sincere for me to ignore his obvious problems. There was a rare combination of despair and determination in his voice.

  However, I couldn't decide entirely on an emotional level. My hiring policy was never influenced by the applicant's gender, race, religion, sexual orientation or any personal feelings I might have had. There were plenty of female programmers and designers working at ChaosTech Solutions. None of them were hired for the sake of women’s rights or political correctness, though. Every single one had earned their place with hard work and proficiency.

  Over the years, I'd had my fair share of interviews with women who had a misguided idea of what feminism was all about. The most outrageous case was some pink-haired, tattooed punk/rock/goth chick with heavy eyeliner, who had read Stieg Larson's Millennium trilogy too many times. Unfortunately, she had more social convictions than skills. Her main motivation was simply to make a breakthrough in a male-dominated working field. Other than that, her idea of software development was cringe-worthy and the trial code she wrote for me gave me a serious headache. The girl had the talent to mess up things in epic proportions. When I told her she didn't meet the requirements, the little wench practically exploded.

  “The women’s rights movement is at its current stage because of sell-out bitches like you in favor of the patriarchy.” She emphasized her point by spitting in my face. Her eyes went wide as I simply reached out for a Kleenex to wipe my face and gave her my most charming, saccharine smile.

  “For your information, miss, feminism doesn't mean I should give you any special preferences over other applicants with better qualifications just because you’ve got a vagina. Have a beautiful day and good luck in your job search.”

  What mattered most was that the employee did their job well and fit in with the rest of the team. Thomas's results were pretty good, better than average, even if far from the level I usually required. He did have skills but needed a little more training and guidance. I took a huge leap of faith with him but it had turned out to be one of my most successful moves in terms of recruitment.

  I hadn’t expected him to survive past his trial week. My prediction was that by the end of the first day he would wave the white flag and either go back to his mom or apply for student loans. When I arrived at work on the Monday, though, he was already at the office, dressed according to my instructions. Thomas was reading the current e-mails and studying my schedule with absolute concentration. I almost didn’t recognize him. He looked so much more grown up than the day of his interview, more serious and professional. When my new assistant asked me how I took my coffee, I repeated to him that I didn’t hire him for the position of a barista. He replied, in a low, respectful tone, that he’d be delighted. After all, he knew what a risk I'd taken by hiring him and wanted to show me some gratitude. In the end, I gave in, but I stressed that he wouldn’t win any points by doing things that weren't included in his job description.

  It turned out my new employee didn’t need such ‘extra credit’. He was smart, quick and efficient, and never made any mistakes that would cost me the respect of my clients. He never complained if he had to stay after business hours. Sometimes, he shyly asked me if he could stay a bit longer in order to study and practice.

  In the end, when it was clear Thomas was motivated and didn’t have a problem with hard work, I decided to test him. I’d often give him simple tasks or let him study pieces of the code from our projects on GitHub. He never stopped surprising me with his quick learning. I was impressed by how much he had progressed since the previous summer.

  Thomas had been my personal assistant for over a year when it became clear he was wasting his potential by doing administrative work. No matter how much I liked him, I knew he’d be much more useful as a developer a
nd I’d have been stupid not to invest in his talent. We made a deal that the company would pay for his education in an accelerated program in computer science with the prerequisite he’d work for ChaosTech Solutions for at least two years after graduating. Meanwhile, Thomas would continue working part-time and I would have some of my best programmers show him the ropes.

  When I made him that offer, his expression warmed my heart and made me smile genuinely. He took a step forward and spread his arms to hug me but, in the end, decided against it. It somehow left me a bit disappointed.

  I was sad to part with him for he was everything I could have asked for in an assistant. His calm, patient attitude and pleasant personality helped me regain my balance. It wasn't an exaggeration to say he knew me better than even my lovers.

  Perhaps that was what worried me the most. There had never been any intimacy between us. Well, sometimes I would catch him stealing appreciative glances at me, but he was never obvious or disrespectful so it was easy for me to pretend not to notice. Sometimes, we'd talk about life outside of work but nothing more. Except that one time...

  It was a morning pretty similar to the one I just had – an important client, a make or break situation. I'd hardly slept the previous night and my hands were shaking so strongly I couldn't light my cigarette. Thomas entered my office quietly, without me even acknowledging his presence. He took the lighter out of my trembling fingers and helped me kindle the flame. Then he slid his hand down my wrist and caressed it gently while staring at my eyes with sympathy and a hint of disapproval. His touch was way too intimate but in that moment, I was in need of comfort. He moved his palm to my shoulder and squeezed it in a firm yet tender manner. When my assistant finally spoke, his low, pacifying voice made my body shudder with sudden arousal.

  “Breathe in and out slowly. Relax. You’ll be fine.”

  Having said those words, Thomas moved away and gave me his typical kind smile, telling me he'd prepare the written proposals.